At Least SOMEBODY Seems to be Taking This Seriously
Posted by: Emperor Darth Misha I in A.-I. Whup-ass5:55 pm
Some drooling dodofuck decides to get cute with Airport Security, claiming to have a bomb in his backpack.
American Airlines Flight 924 was in Miami on a stopover during a flight from Medellin, Colombia, to Orlando, Florida, when the man, identified as Rigoberto Alpizar, said there was a bomb in his carry-on backpack, a Department of Homeland Security official said.
Funny.
Not as in “ha ha”-funny, but as in “bang, bang”-funny.
Nothing that tickles the old tickle-bone like an adolescent joke about bombs on planes in the middle of a war against terrorism. Not everybody seemed to be appreciative of his harmless kidding about, however:
Alpizar was confronted by a team of federal air marshals, who followed him down the boarding bridge and ordered him to get on the ground, the official said.
This would’ve been a perfect time for Alpisser to decide that maybe he wasn’t being as much of a comedian as a plain-vanilla jerk-off twit, but you know how an artiste is, he just has to go with the flow and keep the momentum up, right?
When Alpizar appeared to reach into his backpack,
Darwin? Yo, DAAAAARWIN! Call your friggin’ office. We’ve got a winner on the line.
…he was shot and wounded, the official said, adding that the marshals’ actions were consistent with their training. Officials said later that the man died of his injuries.
Bzzzt. Wrong.
He died of a terminal case of ClueFuckedness™, symptoms of which include, but are not limited to: Running through Mecca during Hajj in a Star of David-pattern bathrobe with a Bible under each arm, screaming “Allah fucks baby piglets”, handing Lorena Bobbitt a pair of garden shears, dropping your pants and calling her a “bitch” and JOKING AROUND ABOUT BOMBS IN FRONT OF A FEDERAL AIR MARSHAL.
The Bleeding Heart Brigades™ are already out in force:
A passenger, Mary Gardner, told WTVJ in Miami that the man ran frantically down the aisle from the rear of the plane, arms flailing, and that the woman accompanying him said that Alpizar was bipolar and had not taken his medication, according to The Associated Press.
Officials could not confirm if the man suffered from mental illness.
Nor does His Majesty give a weasel’s withered wanker. Here’s a free hint to anybody in need of meds: TAKE THEM! And if you exercise your freedom to not do so, then don’t come fucking crying to me when the results aren’t to your liking, because I might just jam the unopened pill bottle into your eye socket and follow up with a kick to your groin.
But hey, there’s a silver lining: He won’t be a thrall to the Pharmaceutical Industrial Complex™ anymore, or whatever the tinfoilers are calling pillmakers these days.
Of course, as was the case with the London shooting, this article might be a less than truthful reporting of events, in which case we’ll have to re-evaluate based on the new evidence. This bit at the end of the piece sounds fishy:
Air marshals asked him to get off the plane, which he did, but when they asked him to put his bag down, he refused, [Air Marshal Service spokesman] Adams said. Alpizar then approached the marshals in an aggressive manner, at which point two or three shots were fired, he said.
Where’s the bit about the reaching into the backpack now? Either of the explanations would justify the shooting, but it would help if the story didn’t change between the beginning of the article and the end. Which could just be the result of a worthless dropout hack journalist who couldn’t get into a real school and had to go with journo-school instead, slapping together another example of sloppy, talentless writing.
Nah, the eleventy-seven layers of rigorously fact-checking editors would’ve caught that.
Right.
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Miami,, see it like a native..
December 7th, 2005 at 6:12 pmUsing Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows 2000
Note to Future Fucktards of America: Don’t attempt to play April Fools jokes on Federal Air Marshals. They’re paid NOT to have a sense of humor.
It won’t be long before Jesse, Al, King Louie and the Anal Combustion LiberIdiots Union are whiningn and bitching about this Rider on the Short Bus of Life™’s civil rights being violated.
Has anyone checked the Communist News Network to see if the Poobahs of Poverty Pimps™ have jumped on a super-sonic jet and headed for
December 7th, 2005 at 6:17 pmNorth HavanaMiami yet?Using Mozilla Firefox 1.0.7 on Windows XP
Brilliantly summarized, Yer Imperial Majesty! This one is a sure-fire winner for this year’s Darwin Award!
Who cares if the idiot was bi-polar or not? Is the air marshall a psychiatrist? Was he expected to psychoanalyze a man who claimed to have a bomb?
Most of the time people who have psychiatric problems are psychotic, not stupid. Most paranoid schizophrenics have genius-level IQs, but can’t differentiate right from wrong. But they’re not stupid. Their biggest danger is that they can be downright cunning. But there’s a difference between “unstable” and “stupid”.
Claiming to have a bomb on an airliner is indisputably stupid.
December 7th, 2005 at 6:26 pmUsing Mozilla Firefox 1.0.7 on Windows XP
“…symptoms of which include, but are not limited to: Running through Mecca during Hajj in a Star of David-pattern bathrobe with a Bible under each arm, screaming “Allah fucks baby piglets”, handing Lorena Bobbitt a pair of garden shears, dropping your pants and calling her a “bitch””
LOL.
Allus deepah in yer debt, Sahre!
December 7th, 2005 at 6:30 pmUsing Mozilla Firefox 1.0.7 on Windows XP
AlCU law suit starting in.
December 7th, 2005 at 6:37 pm5.
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Using Mozilla Firefox 1.5 on Windows XP
well damn! Yet another idiot wetback without a clue took a big bite out of stupid…
Here’s a few more that should be playing catch with some bullets:
December 7th, 2005 at 6:47 pmUsing Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP
Interesting.
Been watching this most of the afternoon.
1) Kudos to the marksmanship training officer who gave this young Federal Air Marshal(s) his training. 45 feet, one dead IDIOT. At most, three shots, two point five seconds (per reports so far). Who could ask for anything more? Remarkable marksmanship under stress, and the cost of a trail saved. Bravo Zulu!
2)
Who gives a flying fuck? This POS threatened the entire damned AIRPORT, fer Pete’s sake! Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em…
3)
No, he died of the only capital offense. I tells ‘em, and I tells ‘em, and I tells ‘em - Stupidity will bite ya in the ass every trip of the train. Do they listen - Oh, HELL No!
Dumbass. You deserve it. Too STUPID to breath.
Incidentally - for those who care (?) the Federal Air Marshals carry a .40 S&W, in various configurations. The ammo is a lightweight hollowpoint (last time I checked, a light load Federal 155 Hydrashok @ 1050 fps), so as not to make too big a hole in the side of the plane in the event of a miss. Yes, I know, but the “not too big a hole, etc.” requirement was imposed by GFW’s in Congress. (”what’s the opposite of Progress? Congress.”)
December 7th, 2005 at 6:48 pmUsing Mozilla 1.7.2 on Windows 98
And, incidentally, I’m waiting for the first ScreamingLibrul (yes, one word) to say “But, but, … he should have SHOT HIM IN THE LEG, OR SOMETHING!”
December 7th, 2005 at 6:52 pmUsing Mozilla 1.7.2 on Windows 98
This was suicide by cop. Plain and simple.
Bipolar is not a delusional disorder.
December 7th, 2005 at 7:00 pmUsing Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP
Entirely possible, and I thought about it myself, I just forgot to include it in my rant.
It has the looks of it, that’s for sure.
Well, who said that our LEOs aren’t the epitome of helpfulness? The stupid twat got his wish.
December 7th, 2005 at 7:04 pmUsing Mozilla Firefox 1.5 on Windows XP
oxymoron alert
December 7th, 2005 at 7:09 pmUsing Mozilla 1.7.2 on Windows 98
I would like to thank the Air Marshalls for their handling of this situation. It should make others who intend harm to think twice. They responded in a no bullshit manner!
December 7th, 2005 at 7:11 pmDamn good job!
Using Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP
“bomba” in spanish also means “pump” or “fire engine” or “drunkeness”
perhaps he simply had a fire engine in his bag and didn’t want anyone to touch it.
and anyways, who isn’t bi-polar!
December 7th, 2005 at 7:34 pmUsing Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP
Well, at least we’ve got one less stupid fuck to deal with. 1 down. 1,000,000 to go.
December 7th, 2005 at 7:36 pmUsing Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP
I’m not.
I’m always a heartless bastard like this.
December 7th, 2005 at 7:59 pmUsing Mozilla Firefox 1.5 on Windows XP
if he had just been “bi”, then we would have had a hate crime on our hands.
December 7th, 2005 at 8:04 pmUsing Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP
I can see the headlines on al-Reuters already: “Bush Administration Operative murders mentally ill patient at airport”
Somebody should give that air marshal a medal. I feel safer flying already…you gotta know that the members of the global jihad might think twice about hijacking an American airliner for a while…
December 7th, 2005 at 8:26 pmUsing Mozilla Firefox 1.0.7 on Windows XP
I think that’s an optimistic figure.
Kudos to the Air Marshall. I’m the first to bitch about the stupidity imposed on us by the TSA, but this is the one thing no one should joke about. The marshall was absolutely right, whatever the circumstances. You don’t mention having an implement of destruction, and then run for where there is sure to be a crowd. I don’t give a rat’s ass if he was BiPolar. And if a libarul starts whining to you like it matters, remind them of these facts, and tell ‘em your attorney said so.
December 7th, 2005 at 9:43 pmUsing Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP
What if these two beaners meant it to go down like THIS:
HE runs down the aisle screaming “La kook-a-ratcha, La kook-a-ratcha.”
SHE says “He’s La kook-a-ratcha.”
The Marshals go back to do a little social work with SHE.
HE makes it to the concourse. KaaAAAABOOM!
SHE says “Just kidding.” KaaAAAABOOM!
Concourse gone. Plane Gone. A few folks smoked too.
Could you just hear the doGooders screaming THEN?????
Dumb shits. You fools on the planes had to put your hands on your heads because the Marshals were afraid of the potential of another bomb on board.
These guys were good. With no crystal balls on their Dick Tracy wrist watches, they had to work with they had. They were good shots. They could think. So all’s well that ended well … except for the dead beaner.
Give these Marshals each a GoldenTaco award.
December 7th, 2005 at 9:44 pmUsing Safari 416.13 on Mac OS X
[…] A man on an airline flight suddenly charged up the aisle yelling that he had a bomb. The air marshals on board added several new ventilation holes to him, and now he’s stupid *and* dead. Posted by Ian S. in […]
December 7th, 2005 at 10:46 pmUsing WordPress 1.5.2
from what ive read in a Netscape News article by John Pain, the man was bi-polar and didnt take his meds…well, aint that just too bad, he sure as hell picked the wrong day to stop, didnt he???….says that air marshalls chased the man off the plane, ordered him to get down on the ground and than he reached into his bag, leading to the air marshals shooting his deranged ass….his wife was yelling that her husband had forgotten to take his meds, so ill give it a day before you see some ACLU lawyer scumbags wanting to sue the airline and the US Marshal Service for his mans death, and they will ty it since it seems the man is of Hispanic origins, though he was an American citizen, but he wasnt a white man and as we know, the ACLU doesnt seem to like to support the rights of white citizens of America…mostly they seem to support forigners and terrorists who have no right to our Constitution…..and its funny how some of the fellow passengers bitched about the police coming on the plane and telling everyone to remain seated and not to take anything out of bags…it was soooooooo scary according to one woman who called a tv station the second she got off the plane…figures, and of course the MSM will distort this story
December 7th, 2005 at 10:56 pmUsing Netscape 7.2 on Windows XP
oh, one other thing, i noticed juanidos post with the picture of the protesters holding up those signs…the woman with the sign saying, “hey Mr.Chaney, Go Fuck Youreself”….well isnt that youre typical antiwar liberal who wants us all to think that they are so highly educated and smarter and better than everyone else….well, guess all that college education doesnt mean you can spell the Vice President of the United States name correctly….gee, im sure as hell glad that i dropped out of college all those years ago, i might have become like these liberal idiots
December 7th, 2005 at 11:02 pmUsing Netscape 7.2 on Windows XP
Maybe that idiot thought he was Richie Valens and was screaming “La Bamba!”
December 8th, 2005 at 1:30 amUsing Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP
LCWil:
You will not be disapointed. Katie Couric was on the air first thing this morning saying “the people of America were asking if there wasn’t some way to shoot to disable instead of to kill”.
Stooopid Cunt
To our Air Marshall Service–Good job and keep it up.
December 8th, 2005 at 10:53 amUsing Mozilla Firefox 1.0.7 on Windows XP
“Cupid Stunt”. There be ladies present!
I am surprised the perky one beat Chuckie, Swimmer, HildaBeast, Mikie (he’ll eat anything), Dingy Harry and HowWierd to the mike, though.
.
Never underestimate the power of Human Stupidity.
December 8th, 2005 at 7:03 pmUsing Mozilla 1.7.2 on Windows 98
CB’s back?
December 8th, 2005 at 8:34 pmUsing Mozilla Firefox 1.5 on Windows XP
That’s why we love you so much, Yer Majesty… You’re consistantly a heartless bastard! We need more of those
December 8th, 2005 at 9:24 pmUsing Mozilla Firefox 1.0.7 on Windows XP
Bi-polar?
Naw… he was probably blasted on the jejo!
The flight was from Medellin, Colombia after all…..
December 9th, 2005 at 9:03 amUsing Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP
I thought “bi-poler” meant “a guy who likes chicks and dicks.“.
Huh. Whoddathunkit?
December 9th, 2005 at 11:35 amUsing Mozilla Firefox 1.0.7 on Windows XP
If ya got a snot-filled head, cold or whatever, ya get the antihistamines goin’ long before departure.
December 9th, 2005 at 3:12 pmIf ya plan to fly bi-polar, familiarity with the symptoms of the condition would make it reasonable to medicate wisely in advance.
For lack of pill-sized considerations, two good cops are getting the microscope up their butts,and not much good sleep. The family is booked on the moonbat tour, and the enemy is still listening.
Using Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows 2000
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