(Link thanks to LC Mope)

It’s always educational to read the enemy’s correspondence, and when it’s written by a raving koranimal kamelhumper with his turban tied more tightly than can possibly be healthy, it’s fun as well:

WASHINGTON - In a letter to his top deputy in Iraq, al-Qaida’s No. 2 leader said the United States “ran and left their agents” in Vietnam and the jihadists must have a plan ready to fill the void if the Americans suddenly leave Iraq.

Either al-Zawahiri is taking the principle of “planning for all contingencies” to its logical extreme, or the terrorist koranimals have really been emboldened by the hard work of their liberal allies in the MSM and Congress.

“Things may develop faster than we imagine,” Ayman al-Zawahri wrote in a letter to his top deputy in Iraq, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. “The aftermath of the collapse of American power in Vietnam — and how they ran and left their agents — is noteworthy. … We must be ready starting now.”

Senior U.S. military commanders have said that Iraqi security forces are improving significantly and some U.S. forces could return home early next year.

So much for the “void” that you want to fill, al-Zawaheadoff. Looks to us like the void will be full of pissed off, trained and extensively armed Iraqis with a decidedly low opinion of koranimals who murder kids, then booby trap the corpses. What’s even better is that they, unlike our guys, don’t have both of their arms tied behind their backs by a legion of terrorist-loving liberals and desk-jockeying JAG-offs, whose main concern seems to be making sure that captured terrorists get three squares and a cot, free korans and a lifetime subscription to the New York Times.

In a letter taking up 13 typed pages in its English translation, al-Zawahri also recommended a four-stage expansion of the war that would take the fighting to neighboring Muslim countries.

“It has always been my belief that the victory of Islam will never take place until a Muslim state is established … in the heart of the Islamic world,” al-Zawahri wrote.

Maybe our memory is playing tricks on us, but didn’t you use to have one of those? What was it called? Oh, yes, Afghanistan or something like it. Didn’t turn out all that well for you, did it? Although if you’d been relying upon The New York Times for your news (which is akin to relying on Playboy Magazine for daily devotionals), you’d have thought that we’d all be dead by now, killed by the Brutal Afghan Winter™ in the Graveyard of Empires™, ably helped by fanatical muslim fighters used to subsist entirely on a diet of pickled scorpions. Fortunately, the real world and the editorial pages of The Pravda on the Hudson rarely ever occupy the same time-space continuum.

How long did Ashcanistan take us again? All we remember is seeing on the news that the invasion had started, going for a cup of coffee and then, when we came back, Hamid Karzai was the new President.

Note to self: Never ask the Russians for advice on military strategy. Or The New York Times. Might as well ask Oprah.

The letter laid out his long-term plan: expel the Americans from Iraq, establish an Islamic authority and take the war to Iraq’s secular neighbors, including Lebanon, Jordan and Syria.

Are you listening, Buttface Assad? If that grotesque growth between your shoulder blades had more noggin and less neck, you might learn something about your new allies here.

The final stage, al-Zawahri wrote, would be a clash with Israel, which he said was established to challenge “any new Islamic entity.”

Of course. There’s always the Joooos. Must kill all the Joooos. It just wouldn’t be a crazed, genocidal, medieval “religion” if you didn’t include killing all the Jooooos somewhere. First we take over the world and then, THEN WE KILL ALL THE JOOOOOS! It’s only been tried, what, a gazillion times before? Fortunately (or unfortunately, if you happen to be a sheethead mass murderer worshipping a pedophile prophet or a liberal), those pesky Joooos have shown remarkable skill when it comes to turning the ritual Killing of the Jooooos™ into a spectacular kicking of muslim ass, but obviously mad mullahs don’t bother much with reading history books.

In his letter, al-Zawahri, a Sunni, devoted significant attention to al-Zarqawi’s attempts to start a civil war with the rival Muslim Shiite sect, the majority that now dominates the new Iraqi government. Ultimately, al-Zawahri concluded that violence, particularly against Shiite mosques, only raises questions among Muslims.

“This matter won’t be acceptable to the Muslim populace however much you have tried to explain it, and aversion to this will continue,” he wrote.

Gee, ya think? This tumblefucked turban is turning out to be a regular Sun Tzu, isn’t he? Who’d have thunk that muslims might harbor aversions to having their children shredded by fellow muslims? It boggles the mind, it does.

Al-Zawahri was also critical of the Taliban, which was toppled in the 2001 U.S.-led invasion of Afghanistan, because, he said, they did not have the representation of the Afghan people. He said students of the Taliban retreated to their tribes.

“Even the devout ones took the stance of spectator,” al-Zawahri wrote.

That’s because the “devout” muslims (there’s a new way of saying “terrorist” without using the actual word. Maybe al-RotoReuters should be taking notes), contrary to popular liberal mythology as expressed in the editorial pages of the MSM, tend to have only one thought in their “devout” little pointed heads when they notice an ass-kicking of Biblical proportions headed their way, and that’s to get the heck out of al-Dodge as fast as their sandals will carry them. No, don’t take our word for it, study military history, then come back and regale us with all the glorious, brave and heroic muslim military victories you’ve found. We can spare the five minutes it’d take out of our schedule.

Seriously, His Rottieness has no fucking idea where this whole myth about the undefeatable, fanatical, fearless muslim warriors came from, but we know that it didn’t come as a result of an overabundance of schooling on the part of the people believing in it. The muslim “warriors” are quite possibly the only military (more or less) entity more hideously incompetent than the french, and that’s saying something. And we should be worried about getting into a fight with them?

Heck, based on that particular showpiece of illogic, we should’ve surrendered unconditionally to the Japanese on Dec. 8th 1941, because there we had a truly ruthless, fanatic, fearless enemy with absolutely no regard for their own lives. Fortunately, our grandparents’ generation weren’t a product of the liberal Pussification of the Western Male Project, so they didn’t give a shit. They just went and defeated the Nip bastards regardless, G-d Bless ‘Em.

Contrasting that, he saw fearlessness in battles waged in the Iraqi cities of Fallujah, Ramadi and Al Qaim.

That’s odd, because according to every single source of ours, sources that were actually there, they were not much more than gigantic muslim turkey shoots. Suppress, level, mop up, lather, rinse, repeat. But hey, if “fearlessness” in muslim mythology consists of getting yourself slaughtered systematically, we can certainly live with their lack of fear. As a matter of fact, we welcome it.

At times, the letter got personal. Al-Zawahri said he tasted the bitterness of America’s brutality, noting that his “favorite wife’s chest was crushed by a concrete ceiling” during an apparent U.S. attack. His daughter died of a cerebral hemorrhage.

Must have pained him almost as much as when he gave his favorite goat the clap and she had to be put down.

To this day, he wrote, he did not know the location of their graves.

Sorry, but we can’t tell you. Not because we don’t want to, but the critters that carried their carcasses off wouldn’t let us know where or when they took a crap, but if you send over a feller with a scoop who speaks “critter”, we’ll be more than happy to let him go find them for you.

And now for the interesting bit:

The letter then switches to the court of public opinion.

“More than half of this battle is taking place in the battlefield of the media,” he wrote. “We are in a media battle in a race for the hearts and minds of our umma,” or community of Muslims, he wrote.

…and the Surrender First liberals, of course, and your friends and loyal allies in the MSM are doing their best to support your cause, they really are. You really ought to send them a token of gratitude for their help, say, a shipment of anthrax or a couple hundred pounds of Semtex.

We promise you, it’d be the one time when His Rottieness wouldn’t condemn your actions.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 11th, 2005 at 11:55 pm and is filed under Religion of Pus, The Empire at War. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.