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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » If There Were More of These

…then His Majesty would start reading the obituary pages habitually (via Dust My Broom):

During his life he excelled at mediocrity. He loved to hear and tell jokes, especially short ones due to his limited attention span. He had a life long love affair with bacon, butter, cigars and bourbon. You always knew what Fred was thinking much to the dismay of his friend and family. His sons said of Fred, “he was often wrong, but never in doubt”. When his family was asked what they remembered about Fred, they fondly recalled how Fred never peed in the shower - on purpose. He died at MCV Hospital and sadly was deprived of his final wish which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a double date to include his wife, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter to crash an ACLU cocktail party. (Richmond Times Dispatch )

Now that is the sort of thing that His Rottieness would like to see written about himself when his turn arrives and it’s time to shuffle off the mortal coil.

Of course, that may never happen, seeing as how G-d will have no part of us and the devil is, quite frankly, scared shitless that we’ll take over his job but, then again, one day one of the two are bound to take one for the team.

That’s OK, as long as it’s a looooong time from now, because we’re just having too much fun pissing everybody off.

5 Responses to “If There Were More of These”
  1. Deathknyte Comment by Deathknyte

    Fred sounds like fun… or really annoying.

  2. Bill H Comment by Bill H UNITED STATES

    I never knew Fred. Fred was an alright guy. Fred was the type of man to make Papillion look weak. A bottle of Wild Turkey and a fine ‘Cuban seed’ cigar or four shall be consumed in his honor.

    Of course, that may never happen, seeing as how G-d will have no part of us and the devil is, quite frankly, scared shitless that we’ll take over his job but, then again, one day one of the two are bound to take one for the team.

    Sire, I think a few Marines have already turned their CV’s in long before you ;)

  3. Unregistered Comment by britthimself

    Hey thats my city. Cool.

  4. Unregistered Pingback by Cigar Intelligence Agency » Blog Archive » One incredible obit UNITED STATES

    […] Hat tip to the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler. […]

  5. bigdicksplace Comment by bigdicksplace

    Don’t even begin to think you have a shot at my future gig.