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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Random Inappropriate, Hateful Thought While Driving to the Grocery Store

So, there I was, stuck in traffic moving at much the same speed as molasses running uphill in January, when suddenly this massive jerk zooms up from behind, cuts in front of me into the itty-bitty space that had momentarily opened up, and makes me slam the brakes so hard that my Coke spilled into my lap.

“Fuck!”, I mumbled to myself, “I hope that motherfucker tries to do that in front of a semi one day and ends his days as a red smear on the I-20!”

(Obligatory note to my Fellow Bloggers on the Right: Please don’t forget to post your obligatory immediate and unequivocal condemnation of this obvious call for automotive homicidal vengeance on inconsiderate motorists. If you fail to do so, you might offend Glenn Greenwald and, Heaven knows, what could possibly be more unhelpful and devastating to the conservative movement?

You have 11 hours and 13 minutes to comply, after which you’re required to wear sackcloth, tear your hair and beg for mercy from the Almighty Greenwald.

Not to mention that all of us will be subjected to another 1,294 terminally boring words on Glenn’s vastly overrated alternative to Restoril©.

Do it For the Children™!)

Yes. I am having fun here. Glad you asked.

32 Responses to “Random Inappropriate, Hateful Thought While Driving to the Grocery Store”
  1. Deathknyte Comment by Deathknyte

    Nothing new.

    People are lucky I don’t have weapons on my car.

  2. MCaN Comment by MCaN UNITED STATES

    Molassas doesn’t run uphill! I condemn thee for outrageously hyperbolic simile (sp?) usage!

    /sarc

    Love the blog, the style is a great addition to my news addiction.

  3. Darth Bacon Comment by Darth Bacon UNITED STATES

    Sorry,

    But Glenn is a pussy- and I mean that in the perjorative sense.

  4. Orion Comment by Orion UNITED STATES

    Let me be the first to condem you, Misha! You vile, mean, nasty man!

    I call upon all decent human beings* to SHUN this website! To SHUN Misha! To SHUN him from all that is decent!!

    Now go write on the board, “I will not call for death to people who piss me off.” one hundred times.

    Orion

    * the phrase decent human beings here is defined, soley for the purpose of this comment, to mean “Liberal Trolls”

  5. Deathknyte Comment by Deathknyte

    Glenn wouldn’t stand up to an angry child. He would be too afraid of getting his butt kicked.

  6. Unregistered Pingback by AntiHippies » Blog Archive » Well How Dare He UNITED STATES

    […] First he tries to tell us that molasses runs up hill? […]

  7. juandos Comment by juandos UNITED STATES

    So, there I was, stuck in traffic moving at much the same speed as molasses running uphill in January, when suddenly this massive jerk zooms up from behind, cuts in front of me into the itty-bitty space that had momentarily opened up, and makes me slam the brakes so hard that my Coke spilled into my lap

    :lol:… Been there and done that and yeah! It sucks…

    I sometimes think some Ben Hur hubcaps and a cow catch would be handy on occassion…

  8. Unregistered Comment by Merry, L.C. UNITED STATES

    You dreadful man, why can’t you be meaner, I mean I don’t come to this site to read such simpering niceties, I come here for blood and guts and raging hatred of those who would do my country harm, and to those who drive like idiots…

  9. Unregistered Pingback by Random Numbers » Blog Archive » New term for the Blogosphere UNITED STATES

    […] Now, however, Misha has now taken this too far now! He is advocating the grisly demise of some poor fellow who was just in a hurry on the road!  This evil fatwah and bounty for murder must ….be…condem…I CAN’T FINISH!  I’M LAUGHING TOO HARD!!!  […]

  10. LC Draco Comment by LC Draco UNITED STATES

    Same thing happened to the wife and me at Central Market in Houston last Saturday. Damn yankees!! (yes, they had Mass plates.)

  11. jaybear Comment by jaybear UNITED STATES

    My oldest son is now 20 years old. I remember when he was about 2 I had him in the backseat in his carseat, we were running errands. Some idiot did the exact same thing to me, nearly running me into a sidewalk full of pedestrians. When I caught him at a stop light I came up alongside of him and flipped him the biggest best defined bird I could manage, and held it for at least 5 seconds until the light changed and he sped away. I drove along still fuming at the idiot and looked in the mirror to see how my son was doing.

    he was working the fingers on his hand, bending and holding down every finger on his hand but his middle finger, just like he saw his old man do.

    Don’t EVER say that I didn’t raise MY kids right…

  12. Sir Christopher Comment by Sir Christopher UNITED STATES

    there is traffic in Texas?

  13. LC Ranger 6 Comment by LC Ranger 6 UNITED STATES

    Nothing new.

    People are lucky I don’t have weapons on my car.

    Heh. I would have to say that the exact opposite is true for me. People are DAMNED lucky that I have a weapon. It keeps me from forcing them off the road and beating the shit out of them. I’m worried that in my rage I would finish off by emptying all three 17 round mags into thier face.

  14. 3FgBurner Comment by 3FgBurner UNITED STATES

    Misha,
    Go to the nearest convenience store. Pick up one tin each, of Peppermint and Cinnamon Altoids. Dump them onto a plate, redistribute, and refill each tin with a 50-50 mix of white and pink. You now have two tins of Uncle Dex’s Patent Road Rage Pills. Take a pair (one white, one pink) as needed in traffic. This was actually documented in a study by West Virginia’s Wheeling Jesuit University. Since the DC Metro area generally dukes it out with LA, San Francisco, and Chicago for the worst traffic in the country, it’s not a surprise that I go through a can or two a week.

  15. Unregistered Comment by IB LC Lady Heather GLOR UNITED STATES

    Confession time for me too, St Glenn–

    There is this idiot that insists on parking his damn truck on the street 12 months of the year, 24/7, even though he has a driveway to park it on.

    I fantasize about hitting that damn truck out of the way every time I get on that street (One of only 2 streets to get out of my neighborhood)

    Please forgive me for evil thoughts, because we know we have to strive for nonjudgementalness (the top sphere of the PC LooneyLiberalLeft’s “religion”)

    What is my penance?

  16. Unregistered Comment by LC Staci GBOR UNITED STATES

    MISHA,I condemn you… for spilling a Coke. What a damn shame.

    And 3FgBurner, you left Miami off that list.

  17. Unregistered Trackback by MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy UNITED STATES

    I Condemn Thee (Pt. 2)…

    Dammit, Misha’s gone and done it AGAIN! Do I have to post a permanent notice here stating that I condemn the use of such hyperbole er, threats at all times?!

    “Fuck!”, I mumbled to myself, “I hope that motherfucker tries to do that in fron…

  18. Unregistered Comment by fluffy UNITED STATES

    A traffic jam in Texas? What happened to all the space? Look, we may not have guns in the People’s Republic of Massachusetts, but we invented road rage.

    Glenn’s not gonna like this…

  19. LC Delftsman3 Comment by LC Delftsman3 UNITED STATES

    I tried to trackback with my condemnation of your lapse in civility, Sire, but apparently your filters don’t like me. So much for link-whoreing, LMAO.

  20. LC Guido Cabrone Comment by LC Guido Cabrone UNITED STATES

    Believe it or not, it happens everywhere. And our drivers (80,000 lb semi’s), have it happen all the time.

    So far, none of our guys has killed anybody, but they HAVE customized some sheet metal here and there.

    The funniest one was the idiot that cut off one of our drivers when he was getting on the highway, trucker in question just kept right on coming over and forced the idiot to do a little fancy throttle work to keep from becoming road pizza, (there was a guardrail/bridge coming up, and 80,000lbs doesn’t stop too well, you know), then watched the Highway Patrol, (who was pulling onto the highway behind him), run the guy down and pull him over.

    Half hour later, the car was going bye-bye on a wrecker.

    Never did find out who the officer was so I could ask what the arrest was about…

  21. bigdicksplace Comment by bigdicksplace

    Fuck em and feed em fisheads if you offend them. Pussies.

  22. sig94 Comment by sig94 UNITED STATES

    There are insurance scammers who do this for a living. They’ll use a blocking car to send a truck into a panic lane change and have a slower moving car make sure they get hit. They all exit the car and fall down screaming about their necks, back, libidos, etc.

    One such vehicle got creamed in CA and the miscreants died in the carnage *chuckle* what a pity.

    I remember watching a “short feature” on the All Movie Channel that was made in the early 1930’s about auto insurance fraud. Same stuff goes on today because people are the same. And with no fault insurance the opportunties for fraud are wide open.

    Ooops forgot to add the hyperbole.

    DIE YOU RATSCUMNOSEPICKINGASSMUNCHINGCOLONCRUISINGLANEVIOLATERS!

  23. Unregistered Comment by peterobinson UNITED STATES

    re: #4
    DB

    > But Glenn is a pussy- and I mean that in the perjorative sense

  24. Unregistered Comment by peterobinson UNITED STATES

    DB -

    (uh, that should’ve been #3)
    (and, why is this the 2nd of my comments to be shortened?)

    > But Glenn is a pussy- and I mean that in the perjorative sense.

  25. Unregistered Comment by peterobinson UNITED STATES

    ooookay, make that the third comment….

  26. Unregistered Pingback by justbarkingmad.com » Blog Archive » Now he’s gone too far. UNITED STATES

    […] Here’s what the ChimpyMcBusHitler Haliburton stooge said: “Fuck!”, I mumbled to myself, “I hope that motherfucker tries to do that in front of a semi one day and ends his days as a red smear on the I-20!” […]

  27. Bill H Comment by Bill H UNITED STATES

    So, there I was, stuck in traffic moving at much the same speed as molasses running uphill in January, when suddenly this massive jerk zooms up from behind, cuts in front of me into the itty-bitty space that had momentarily opened up, and makes me slam the brakes so hard that my Coke spilled into my lap.

    Pretty much the same thing happened to me a long time ago- except I wound up hitting the asshole in what was then my ’show’ car- a Citroen GS. The police wouldn’t stop, so I chased them down, and then they told me I had left the accident scene- they couldn’t do anything. I must have caught them on a doughnut run. Anyway, the fucker who cut me off- a mooselimb, no less- got his. I got the address from his licence plate, went to his house one night, and drained all the oil from his transmision (on a front drive VW that can be as expensive as the motor) so he wouldn’t notice it for a few miles.

    *ahem* (taptaptap) Isthisthingon?

    Hey! Greenwald! Yeah- over here you bleating, bleeding heart- I freely admit I committed a hate crime against a Muslim- condemn me you sorry sack of pious shit!! I triple dog dare you!!!

    Sorry, Misha. Just got caught up in all the rhetoric. I see no one from Greenwald’s is over here trolling…

  28. Deathknyte Comment by Deathknyte

    What is my penance?

    Heather, you must climb the highest mountain to the temple of the ball-peen. Then you must take the holy ball-peen hammer and beat on the offending truck until the owner comes out. Then you must beat on said owner until you get tired or bored.

    They all exit the car and fall down screaming about their necks, back, libidos, etc.

    Which is why you should carry a bat for mercy kills so they don’t have to suffer. As much.

    I see no one from Greenwald’s is over here trolling…

    Discretion, better part of valor, all that.

  29. Bill H Comment by Bill H UNITED STATES

    Heather, you must climb the highest mountain to the temple of the ball-peen. Then you must take the holy ball-peen hammer and beat on the offending truck until the owner comes out. Then you must beat on said owner until you get tired or bored.

    I didn’t think we were into Ironman routines, Deathknyte. :)

  30. LC Beth of MVRWC, Imperial Slacker™ Comment by LC Beth of MVRWC, Imperial Slacker™ UNITED STATES

    “I hope that motherfucker tries to do that in front of a semi one day and ends his days as a red smear on the I-20!”

    I think you were being charitable. I would have chased that fucker all the way across the country ON FOOT to kill him with my bare hands!

    (Hello Mr. Greenjeans.)

  31. Emperor Darth Misha I Comment by Emperor Darth Misha I UNITED STATES

    I think you were being charitable. I would have chased that fucker all the way across the country ON FOOT to kill him with my bare hands!

    Music. Sweet, lovely, soothing music to my evil ears :)

    Oh, and I condemn you! I condemn your vile, hate-filled, eliminationist rhetoric against traffic regulationally-challenged innocent motorists! Unequivocally! I hope and pray I didn’t miss Greenwald’s deadline on that one.

  32. Deathknyte Comment by Deathknyte

    I didn’t think we were into Ironman routines, Deathknyte. :)

    Well… originally I was going to have her go until I got tired, but, I figgered this way she can go until she is satisfied.

    I hope and pray I didn’t miss Greenwald’s deadline on that one.

    I hope he is not expecting me to keep up on deadlines. I am a master procrastinator. Deadlines and I do not mix.