Osama Impersonator Offers Truce, Threats, Bluster and Babble
Posted by: Emperor Misha I in Religion of Pus, Useless Swine11:03 am
(Via LC & IB Jay at Stop the ACLU)
Thank heavens. We were beginning to wonder if we’d ever see another of those obviously fake “Osama’s Greatest Hits” tapes and, just as we’re about to give up hope of ever being able to mock the squished swine and their Raghead Remixapaloozas again, here comes another one:
Al-Jazeera aired an audiotape purportedly from Osama bin Laden on Thursday,
Ask us again “why we want to bomb you”, al-Jizzmeera.
saying al-Qaida is making preparations for attacks in the United States but offering a truce to rebuild Iraq and Afghanistan.
Those would be the fabled “imminent attacks” that we’ve been hearing about ever since 9/12/01 or thereabouts, right?
The voice on the tape said heightened security measures in the United States are not the reason there have been no attacks there since the Sept. 11, 2001, suicide hijackings.
Instead, the reason is “because there are operations that need preparations, and you will see them,” he said.
This would be so much more convincing if it wasn’t the exact same tune that we’ve been hearing from “Osama” for more than four years now.
Of course the fact that al-Quashed’a haven’t been able to pull anything off for all of this time has nothing to do with the fact that they’re a bunch of fuckheads up against much, much more than they could ever hope to put a dent in. That’s why they need to prepare for half a decade, right?
Oh, wait, that didn’t work so well. Try this one: It’s because this time, it’ll be soooooo spectacular that it’ll quite literally take our breaths away, instill fear in us from North to South, East to West, leave our cities as glowing embers and send wave after wave of planes into our highrises. Any day now. Really. This time we mean it! Honest! Real soon!
It’s beginning to sound like Micro$loth babbling about the next “ultimate” Windoze release. Just wait. It’ll be greater than you ever expected! Any day now!
At least Bill Gates dresses better and doesn’t smell like goat pussy.
“Based on what I have said, it is better not to fight the Muslims on their land,” he said.
“Because we’re getting our scrawny terrorist asses beat seven ways from Sunday and, besides, our Muslim “brothers” are strangely opposed to being blown up in the name of Allah (bees piss upon him).”
“We do not mind offering you a truce that is fair and long-term. … So we can build Iraq and Afghanistan … there is no shame in this solution because it prevents wasting of billions of dollars … to merchants of war.”
How magnanimous of you. You don’t mind offering us a fair truce in spite of the fact that you’re being killed by the thousands every day and your leaders are a bunch of scratchy old archived tape recordings being shuffled from cave to cave? Why, that’s awfully Hitler of you! He wasn’t in the least bit opposed to offering a fair truce to any takers either when he was confined to his bunker, counting cyanide capsules and trying to brush concrete dust out of his combover.
You have a history book handy, “Osama?” Open it and check our response to that one.
Yes. History does occasionally repeat itself.
Count on it.
UPDATE: We should’ve known better than to use a link from Mini-Drudge Breitbart. Here’s the real story (thanks to LC & IB Link Mecca):
“The new operations of al-Qaida has not happened not because we could not penetrate the security measures. It is being prepared and you’ll see it in your homeland very soon,” the voice attributed to bin Laden said, apparently addressing Americans.
That’s a whole lotta “nots.” Of course it’s not like there’s a shortage of nuts in al-Quashed’a.
“…But what triggered my desire to talk to you is the continuous deliberate misinformation given by your President [George] Bush, when it comes to polls made in your home country which reveal that the majority of your people are willing to withdraw US forces from Iraq.
“We know that the majority of your people want this war to end and opinion polls show the Americans don’t want to fight the Muslims on Muslim land, nor do they want Muslims to fight them on their (US) land.
“Hi, Murtha, Kennedy, Pelosi et al: I really appreciate your hard work. The check’s in the mail.”
But don’t you dare question their patriotism.
“But Bush does not want this and claims that it’s better to fight his enemies on their land rather than on American land.”
And what a crazy idea that is!
“We are getting increasingly stronger while your situation is getting from bad to worse,” he told the US, referring to poor US troop morale and the huge economic losses inflicted by the war.”
What “poor US troop morale?”
Oh, wait, that’s right. He gets his news from Jack “They’re Living From Hand to Mouth” Murthafucker and the New York Slimes.
And we’re really touched by his concern over our “huge economic losses.” The rate things are going right now, we just might end up drowning in all the moulah that our “crashing economy” is churning out. But again: He is getting all of his economic “analysis” from Paul Krugman, so it’s no bloody wonder that he’s so misinformed.
“In response to the substance of the polls in the US, which indicate that Americans do not want to fight Muslims on Muslim land, nor do they want Muslims to fight them on their land, we do not mind offering a long-term truce based on just conditions that we will stick to.
“We are a nation that Allah banned from lying and stabbing others in the back,
*SNARF!!!*
OK, that’s it “Osama.” This means fucking WAR! Do you have any IDEA what replacing this keyboard is going to cost me?
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sure, let’s have a hudna with the Koranimals. We all know just how much those are worth, don’t we?
Psstt, “Osama?” Some of us have actually, you know, read the Koran.
Just sayin’, ’s all.
Entries (RSS)
Bin Laden Offers Truce…
Via Brietbart
Yahoo photo calls Bin Laden an Exiled Saudi dissident. Sheesh!
January 19th, 2006 at 11:16 amAl-Jazeera aired an audiotape purportedly from Osama bin Laden on Thursday, saying al-Qaida is making preparations for attacks in the United States but offering a truce …
Here’s Our Truce idea Osama. You and all of al queda, die horribly and painfully at the hands of US ordiance and we take the Peace. Sweet and fast and unconditional.
January 19th, 2006 at 11:22 amThe democrats say the about the same thing every two years as try to explain why they keep losing those elections.:lol:
Looks like Osama didn’t get the DNC “unwinnable quagmire” memo….
January 19th, 2006 at 11:30 amOH yeah we are so winning the war. Osama is begging for us to leave him alone and stop killing his followers by the thousands and let him regroup fom all those 155mm Shells them preadators are using.
I say Strike now while the Iron is hot.
January 19th, 2006 at 11:30 amThat should be:
The democrats say just about the same thing every two years as they try to explain why they keep losing every election.
PIMF
(It’s hard trying to do a driveby comment when I’m supposed to be out oppressing and defiling. :smirk:)
January 19th, 2006 at 11:34 amGame.
Set.
Match.
January 19th, 2006 at 11:37 amThat “D” next to your name just changed meaning. It means “Done” as in stick a fork in it.
How long before the democrats and the liberal moonbat minions start bleating about how this is a “golden opportunity” to end “Chimpy Bushitler’s misguided war on terror”?
(moonbat)
We must realize that “Osama” (allegedly) is feeling contrite and is trying to “reach out”!
All he needs is “understanding” and “love”!
(/moonbat) :cuckoo:
January 19th, 2006 at 11:53 amHow much do you want to bet that the next Dhimmicrat talking point is “Osama is offering a truce, but bad ol’ warmongering Chimpy McBushitlerHalliburtonCheneyRove just wants to keep bombing innocent Pakistani children and killing American servicemen and women. If you vote Dhimmicrat, we will have ‘Peace In Our Time’ with Osama.” Of course, they may see that something like that poll badly. Maybe the DU or Koz will pick it up, who knows.
It is seeming more likely that Osama bin Laden is dead, and his lieutenants keep using him as some kind of sock puppet spokesasshole. Notice the flat blue screen behind “Osama”, and the lack of grey in his beard. Until the real Osama actually steps out of a cave somewhere, and gets a ‘155mm round’ from a Predator, it will be hard to convince anyone that he has any more substance than the Easter Bunny. Even the Arabs and other Muslims are getting tired of these ‘leaders’ prairie-dogging. Thanks to the US Armed Forces (the real peacemakers), Al-Qaeda has been reduced to reruns and splinters.
The next front in the GWOT (Podhertz: “WW IV”) is Iran. Even the Fwench are serious about Iran: they want to talk at Prez Mahmoud so hard, he is left as a smoking crater. Maybe the Coalition of the Willing will have more nations this time. The US has shown far more leadership on world affairs in the past 5 years that UN has in the last 50.
January 19th, 2006 at 12:49 pmHey E-man, you beat me to the “Submit Comment” button!
:thumbup:
January 19th, 2006 at 12:51 pmI have a “truce” offer:
If OBL and the rest of his craven murdering nutjobs publicly commit suicide on Al-Jazeera TV, or turn themselves over to US Military Forces, for all the world to see, within the next 24 hours, then we won’t nuke Mecca into the Jurassic Age. The clock is ticking…
I know this is fantasy, the DIP-lomats and politicians lack the testicular and spinal fortitude to do the right thing…
January 19th, 2006 at 12:53 pmThank you, Murtha & Dean for lifting our enemies’ spirits.
January 19th, 2006 at 1:13 pmI think we’ve had a pretty clear offer of truce to Al-Qaeda for a while now. Stop killing people, disburse your soldiers, and never allow your leaders to be seen in a civilized area again. Do not interfere with our moves against the batshit regimes of the Mid-East.
In return, our politicians will pretend you don’t exist.
A very magnanimous offer, considering the alternative.
January 19th, 2006 at 1:44 pmAl Jazeera Plays bin Laden Tape…
From the AP:Al Jazeera aired an audiotape purportedly from Osama bin Laden on Thursday, saying al Qaeda is making preparations for attacks in the U.S. but offering a truce to rebuild Iraq and Afghanistan. The voice on the tape said heightened security …
January 19th, 2006 at 1:50 pmSorry for the double post. But who else thinks that, if this neverending saga called The Osama Tapes really is authored by bin-Laden, that he juuust might be regretting not pretending to be dead when everyone thought he was.
Imagine that. You have every office, agency, and division in the United States looking for your ass, a 25 million tag on your head, and chance or fate gives you a way out- all you have to do is stay away from major cities and not issue public statements. And you blow it.
January 19th, 2006 at 1:55 pmAs stated above, can’t wait to hear what the liberals/dummocrats will say to this latest attempt to bamboozle us stupid Americans. So basically, he is saying that he wants the US to rebuild Afghanistan and Iraq so he and his fellow towel heads can go back in and set up shop? Am I misreading this or giving him too much credit?
January 19th, 2006 at 2:18 pmWhether this was actually Osama Bin Goat Fellaciator or not, they know the audiance they’re playing to. The minute I heard about the “truce” this morning, I knew the Dims would start trampling each other to get to microphones and bloviate on this “real opportunity to provide security to American citizens” and an “Opportunity to complete the missions in Iraq and Afghanistan so we can bring the boys home.”
You wait, its coming…
January 19th, 2006 at 2:54 pmWho could? I don’t doubt it exists. I saw them cash it all in for a big bag of posturing-playmoney.
January 19th, 2006 at 3:03 pmIt’’s somewhere else now, but I’m sure it still exists. ‘Doubtful any one o’ these twerps would know how to re-aquired or repair it.
Enjoy the playmoney, traitors.
thanks for the reminder that I need to make a trip to the ammo shop
January 19th, 2006 at 3:52 pmOsama Mama is getting his/her Transsexual Gender Reassignment Surgery lined up. The “preparations” involve finding a rusty razor and two egg cups in whatever hole he crawled into.
January 19th, 2006 at 4:46 pmHe/she will reappear as Raawiya Ratsinmyjammis, a ululating bearded redhead (just for you JD), in the next issue of National Transgender.
The “unbiased” media outlet known as the Associated Press calls Osama bin Laden an “exiled Saudi dissident” instead of a terrorist.
January 19th, 2006 at 4:47 pmWTF?! :cuss: :cuss: :cuss: :cuss:
I like The Onion’s take on this…
January 19th, 2006 at 5:00 pmYep. This is a good thing for Bush. Even the DUmmies know it. They’ve convinced themselves that Cheney and Rove are behind the tape.
:cuckoo: :whatever:
January 19th, 2006 at 7:05 pmThere is one thing to remember about Islam and their “truces.” Starting way back when with Mohammed the… whatever, and including Saladin the Less Than Merciful, there is only one time when Muslims want a truce - when they need just a little more time to get everything together for the BIG attack. Toss this in with those fine young Algerian gents arrested in Italy recently for planning a massive attack on US stadiums, ships, and railways, and you have the recipe for some big ugly stupid coming our way.
We weren’t ready for it last time… this time, it’s a little different.
January 19th, 2006 at 7:42 pmTell him to stick his truce! I heard the same shit when the cong were gettin’ the shit bombed outta’ them. We stopped, a truce and they resupplied. I’m hopin’ Al Qaeda is on the ropes……..three of them got sent to the promised land recently…or was it four? Whatever the number, it wasn’t enough. Now is the time to REALLY pour the coals to them. And it would answer their question about a truce. They wish to attack us again? Is that the veiled threat? Perhaps we could answer by sending him films of a missile silo opening up…And get a copy to Iran, while yer at it.
January 19th, 2006 at 8:15 pmBin Longdead’s Truce Message…
In an amazing feat of epic proportions, the ghost of Osama bin Laden has reached out from beyond the grave to offer a truce. In the highly verifiable audio tape format, bin Laden offered a message of hope and peace, claiming that al-Qaida is maki ……..
January 19th, 2006 at 8:39 pmAll these comments are, if anything, understated
, but the mention of the real Hitler in conjunction with Osamascum reminded me of something I saw a while back on some blog (don’t remember where): “Islamofascism is just Nazism without the snappy fashion sense.”
With all the traitors in America and the rest of the “free world” a strong feeling of deja vu all over again keeps oozing up. All the protests remind me of the protests during the Vietnam War, which the North Vietnamese later admitted not only encouraged them but actually caused them to change their tactics and focus on wounding and killing U. S. troops, to speed the loss of confidence in America and speed the withdrawal (and desertion of our South Vietnamese allies).
Let’s hope that Bush and the Republicans in Congress are made of stronger backbone than the Democrats of 1973 - 5.
January 19th, 2006 at 11:16 pmWHY WE HAVEN’T HEARD FROM OSAMA IN A WHILE :whatever:
January 20th, 2006 at 6:06 pmIt just sounded better than leading the description off with “terror mastermind”.
Here, the AP makes up for it by calling him a terror leader in this article. Still want to call them biased?
And that link was right under the picture. But our preconceived notions serve us so well, don’t they…
This habit of gotcha-ing the media over nothing is never going to bear fruit. E-Man, I don’t mean to call you out personally. I’m just warning everyone in a friendly way that this MSM conspiracy, welp, it doesn’t exist. Certainly not to the degree you think it does.
I am so gonna get killed for this. Gimme a minute while I put on the flameproof suit.
January 20th, 2006 at 9:03 pmNot in any way that they’ll ever admit, Ron. Am I glad one of these “unbiased”
*sorry* “journalists” slipped up and called a spade a spade, but the sad fact is that they’ll probably be “reassigned” for that lapse in judgment.
As long as they keep reaching into the euphemism pocket and fishing out terms deliberately chosen to provoke a certain type of
January 20th, 2006 at 9:27 pmthinkingacceptance in the avaerage reader, I’ll still keep referring to them as what they are: Crap Merchants, who have an agenda, and who are completely unafraid “report”, in their own approving ways, the stories they believe will help them to achieve the desired result.You are right about one thing, though. As long as enough people pay attention and sip the kool-aid, the gotcha-ing probably will not bear fruit.
But it is fun to chip away at their distortions and throw the bullshit flag.
We’ll have to agree to disagree. You’re only seeing what you want to see. Do this for me, Blackiswhite, since you seem like a nice guy-go to a heavily partisan liberal website. You won’t believe what they have to say about the Washington Post and The New York Times. Don’t want to wade thru the muck? I’ll tell you what you’ll see.
They…wait for it…think those papers are right wing tools. To me, that’s some funny shit. Who is right? IMHO, both fringes are wrong. It’s a narrative, exploited by both sides to keep their true believers believing.
January 21st, 2006 at 5:43 amWe wouldn’t want to think that bin Laden engages in something like terrorism, now would we?
“exiled Saudi dissident” sounds much more benign….
Well good for them. Now why couldn’t they use the same term in their photo description? Note that the description “terror leader” was buried right in the middle of the article where it wouldn’t have such a negative effect on poor Osama.
If it were reversed and they had labeled bin Laden a “terror leader” in the photo caption and had the description “exiled Saudi dissident” buried in the middle of the article, it’s likely neither I, nor LGF nor any of the other “partisan conservative websites” would have even noticed it.
Besides, which is a more accurate description of a person who “masterminded” an attack that deliberately targeted and killed over 3000 Americans, “terror leader” or “exiled Saudi dissident“?
They sure do, especially when those “preconceived notions” turn out to be accurate…
Sure it is. Why else is the credibility and sales of such “esteemed” newspapers as The NY Times, The LA Times, etc. etc going into the tank?
I don’t think there’s a MSM liberal conspiracy in the sense that all the TV and newspaper heads gather in bong smoke filled rooms and discuss over tofu the various ways to slant news coverage.
“The MSM media” both in entertainment and news is inherently a bastion of liberalism. In their minds, what they say and how they say it is mainstream and “objective”.
To observers outside that “media circle” the bias is readily apparent.
Of course they do. To them, anything to the right of Marx, Lenin or Mao is “right-wing”.
They’re just angry because the “unbiased” media is content to push “DNC talking points of the week” instead of the wacky “heavily partisan liberal” moonbat conspiracy theories…
January 21st, 2006 at 9:49 amBy the way, who could forget this photo that the AP ran during the Roberts confirmation hearings? They sure wanted to show Roberts in an “objective” light, now didn’t they?
Bias, what bias?
January 21st, 2006 at 9:56 amThere was also the (photoshopped) AP photo of the “Bush notepad” where he (allegedly) wrote that he had to take a piss.
Now that’s “objective” journalism…..
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February 14th, 2006 at 10:52 pm