…courtesy of the Law Dog (and a tip from LC Guido Cabrone), we have this heartwarming story about a goblin that took an unloaded BB gun to a gun fight.

And there was much rejoicing in the Empire.

You can, by the way, find the Law Dog under the Dept. of Hegemony by Force as of this day forward.

UPDATE: The Imperial Firearms Advisor, who also mentions this story, also points us to this little gem from our Imperial Home State (all caps in the original, so we’ve sanitized it for your reading pleasure):

The Bexar [Pronounced “bear” — Emp.M.] County Sheriff’s Department reports a 21-year-old man walked into the Old Soldier’s Club on Binz Engleman just east of Kirby City Park shortly before 1 a.m. on Friday. He was carrying what appeared to be a .45 calibur [sic] handgun. He demanded the bartender give him 50-dollars,

…but the barkeep was fresh out of 50s, so he offered him some change instead:

…but the bar owner whipped out his own .45 and shot the man once in the chest.

…after which the Stupid Goblin helpfully commenced assuming room temperature, and there was much rejoicing, clapping of hands and passing out of drinks on the house, we’re sure.

But that’s not all. The “gun” the Stupid Goblin was carrying? Yep, you guessed it:

The gun he was carrying turned out to be a B-B gun.

What the fuck is going on?

Quick, somebody call the Brady Buggerers and tell them to demand an immediate ban on Assault BB Guns.

If guns aren’t outlawed, all the goblins will be carrying BBs.

Somewhat unrelatedly, there’s a new episode of the Imperial Firearms Advisor’s Shooting Trail up. Miss it at your own peril.

8 Responses to “And, In Other Pest Control News (UPDATED)”
  1. Unregistered Comment by LC Wes, Imperial Mohel

    You can, by the way, find the Law Dog under the Dept. of Hegemony by Force as of this day forward.

    And a welcome addition he is. The guy is a riot.

  2. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil


  3. Unregistered Trackback by Presto Agitato

    I Guess That Would Be a “Yes”…

    LawDog has an uplifting story of peaceful co-existence…….

  4. Unregistered Comment by Cheryl UNITED STATES

    I hope the barkeep was not arrested for killing an “unarmed man.”

  5. bigdicksplace Comment by bigdicksplace UNITED STATES

    That one made me giggle like a little kid.
    Really, fuckin’ retard…

  6. MCPO Airdale Comment by MCPO Airdale UNITED STATES

    Cheryl - P-L-E-A-S-E! We’re talking Texas here, not New Jersey.

  7. Unregistered Comment by oseaghdha UNITED STATES

    Reminded me of a couple of stupid goblin stories from my time in Albuquerque.
    One was a guy strolls into a bar up on North 4th, and pulls his gun demanding money. Several patrons objected to this, drew their weapons and commenced fire. I believe the followed the blood and arrested the dope.
    One other time some knuckle heads went to rob a place called Sir Sydney’s Sidearm Sales. I believe they were armed with knives.
    Well, Sir Syd pops up with his Uzi and hoses the place, taking out both perps and the window across the street. The cops gave him a medal for that one.

  8. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952 UNITED STATES

    I’m tryin’ not to laugh again…:lol:, and failing miserably. It boggles the mind, these dopes thinking I will get their money because they think I have a real gun…..No shit, Sherlock! I would for damn sure. And after you are toetagged and carried off due to your recently acquired lead lobotomy….. Darwin Award canditates…all of them. Is stupid contagious or what?