It’s August 22nd and we’re all still here. Which leaves His Imperial Majesty with about 2,000 cans of Campbell’s Chunky and enough bottled water to fill a swimming pool or two and absolutely nothing to do with it. OK, so the day isn’t quite over yet, but it’s beginning to look suspiciously like the 12th Monkey has decided to stay at the bottom of his well, refusing to come out to check his shadow.

Or whatever the heck it is that those “peaceful” twats over there believe in.

In other news, the deranged loon of Tehran has finally delivered his promised “response” to the EUnuch proposal, and what a nail-biting page-turner that turned out to be.

“We reject your proposal, but we’re willing to talk about freezing our nuclear program, as long as the talks don’t involve the subject of freezing our nuclear program.”

Or, more precisely: “Now that we’ve kept you all waiting for ages while we’ve been busy accelerating our nuke program, we’re happy to inform you that we’re quite willing to keep you waiting some more while we continue as planned. Suckers.”

And of course the emasculated, effeminate West will be more than happy to comply. As always. While pompously proclaiming that they’re “making progress” and awarding Nobel Peace Prizes to each other for successfully doing absolutely nothing at all.

Until, of course, the “happy” day arrives when the Mad Mullahs DO have nukes, at which point our “fearless leaders” will all cower under their desks, whimpering “but what are we supposed to do? They have NUKES, ferchrissakes!”

Once again, it’s conclusively proven that diplomats are about as useful as bikinis in Antarctica. Not to mention that their devotion to the principle of having talks for the sake of having talks is what turns minor conflicts into global conflagrations. It’s the art of saying “nice doggie” until the rabid mutt has had time to assemble the rest of his pack with his incessant barking.

So what else is new? Well, it isn’t, and it wouldn’t have to be proven over and over again, much to the detriment of mankind, if it wasn’t for the fact that History is a subject no longer taught in schools. It had to be scratched from the curriculum in order to make room for “Self-Esteem: How to Convince Yourself that You’re a Genius and a Special Person in Spite of the Fact that Retarded Monkeys Laugh at You Behind Your Back.”

In other other news, Iran decided to invade a Romanian oil rig in the Persian Gulf and take it. Because they could and, obviously, because they know as well as everybody else that the West isn’t going to do a damn thing about it. Other than maybe issuing a few sternly worded notes of diplomatic concern, that is. We’re sure that the Mullahs are quivering in their sandals at the thought.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006 at 3:38 pm and is filed under Life in the Empire, Religion of Pus, The Empire at War. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.