Pope Misunderstood, Illiterate Sand Lice Inflamed (Again), Who Gives a Shit?
Posted by: Emperor Misha I in Idiotarians, Journaljizzm, Religion of Pus7:37 pm
Well, we do, obviously, but only because it gives us yet another chance to make fun of the followers of a pedophile prophet with delusions of humanity; ignorant, hysterical, hypersensitive morons whose main problem seems to be that time stubbornly refused to stop going by once they’d managed to crawl, on their knuckles, into the 7th century.
Yes, religion of pissers, that’s what a real, deliberate insult looks like. Enjoy, because I’ve got plenty more where those came from. Speaking of which, here’s one of my favorites:
“How do mooselimbs procreate?”
“They jerk off on the nearest wall, then let the flies take care of the rest.”
Are we having fun yet?
I remember when I visited Turkey and couldn’t find a place to park my bicycle. You know, one of those metal cracks that you stick the front wheel in to keep the bike from falling over when you’re off doing other stuff. Fortunately, it was prayer time, so I just lifted somebody’s robe a bit and, hey presto, problem solved.
Is the war on yet? Come on, you know you want to.
Anyway, as we’re sure everybody knows, Pope Benedict recently made the point that conversion by the sword was a Bad Thing™. We don’t know, perhaps he was egged on by the experience of Mr Centanni and Mr Wiig, or maybe it was just 1,400 years of exactly the same going on at the hands of the “Religion of Peace (Our Ass)”. While making that point, he quoted a Byzantine Emperor as saying: “Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached”, the last bit, obviously, being the part relevant to His Holiness’ overall point, namely that spreading faith by the sword.
We tried to reach a representative for the government of Byzans for comment, but we found out that there’d been no such thing for centuries, after the followers of Pisslam got done spreading their faith by the sword.
The response from the Religion of Piss was as predictable as it was laughable: They immediately declared that there was absolutely nothing violent about Pisslam and, in order to prove their point, they then erupted in violence.
As if anybody with an IQ above room temperature really needed any proof, but thanks for proving the Pontiff’s point, peabrains.
And boy, are they ever busy proving him right:
The recent remarks made by Pope Benedict XVI on Islam are threatening to ignite the entire Muslim world.
Good. That’ll save us the nukes. Be sure to use plenty of gasoline when you ignite, sand nits.
Op-Eds published in the Arab newspapers slammed the pope even after the Vatican’s apology.
The most extreme opinion was voiced by Hani Pahas in the London-based Arabic-language daily newspaper Al-Hayat, who wrote “the pope’s comments may lead to war; we fear that the pope’s statements may lead to a war that we, Muslims and Christians alike, are trying to prevent through dialogue between East and West.
Here’s a sample of the “dialogue” offered by the Religion of Pederasty ever since time immemorial:
“Convert or die, infidel dogs and Joooish descendants of apes and pigs!”
Hussein Shabakshy wrote in an article published by the London-based Arabic-language newspaper al-Sharq al-Awsat “It is clear that such remarks only contribute to the fueling of the fire raging between Islam and the West.
The truth hurts, doesn’t it? You fig farming fucknozzle.
There is no difference between Osama bin Laden and Ayman al-Zawahiri speaking from their caves in Tora Bora and the stage of an important Christian saint. Both parties contribute to the world verbal weapons for mass destruction.”
This fizzlebrain has obviously been studying hard at the feet of liberal post-modernists. Moral equivalency between a psychotic mass murderer directing terror attacks against civilians and a Pope quoting somebody else’s 600-year-old words. Not to mention the equivalency between words and sarin, anthrax and nuclear weapons.
At this rate, he’ll be a tenured professor at Yale or Harvard within a year. If he isn’t already.
“The pope’s latest statement cannot be considered a slip of the tongue…
Verbatim quotes from history books rarely are.
…or a comic bit from a TV show;
We rely on you camel botherers for comic relief. And you never fail to deliver.
…the situation here is different, and his remarks are indicative of an important and highly symbolic stance toward the religion (Islam) and the prophet of about a billion and-a-half Muslims,” he said.
It was an important and highly principled stand against the use of violence to spread religion, but you’d have to be at least halfway literate to know that, so we suppose that it’d be asking too much to expect you to get the point.
“These are ignorant comments previously made by Adolf Hitler,
Congratulations, Holy Father, you’ve truly arrived now. You’ve been compared to Hitler.
Of course, given the nature of Pisslam and its history, one has to wonder if it was meant as a compliment or an insult.
…who spoke of a supreme white race against all the other races, especially the African race.
Actually, it was especially the Jooos, but we realize that it would be somewhat uncomfortable for a follower of the Religion of Blood Libel to mention that. Some might see it as a bit — hypocritical.
Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood…
That would be Ayman al-Zawahiri’s alma mater, for those of you interested in history.
…said a Vatican statement on Saturday saying Pope Benedict was sorry for upsetting Muslims with his comments on Islam did not go far enough.
Actually, what he said was that he was sorry that you goat-molesting dune snakes aren’t equipped with enough functional synapses to understand a simple argument. Also, it’s all you’re going to get, so deal with it.
“We want a personal apology (from the Pope). We feel that he has committed a grave error against us and that this mistake will only be removed through a personal apology,” Muslim Brotherhood Deputy Leader Mohammed Habib told Reuters.
I’m sure that His Holiness will get around to it as soon as you’re done apologizing for all of your acts of genocide, terror and blasphemy over the last 1,400 years, so you’d better get started if you want your apology before the End Times.
The Grand Imam of the Al – Azhar University in Cairo, Sheikh Muhammad Sayyid Tantawi said the pope’s statements stem from complete ignorance regarding all that is related to Islam.
What? You mean that the Koran isn’t related to Pisslam? Fascinating.
Other religious leaders throughout the Muslim world, including Iran, also slammed the pope.
The spiritual leader of Lebanon’s Sunnis, the Grand Mufti Sheik Mohammed Rashid Kabbani, said the pope’s remarks emanated either from “Ignorance and lack of knowledge or were deliberately intended to distort Islam.”
Whyever would anybody want to “distort” Pisslam when 1,400 years of outrages, atrocities and terrorism speak for themselves. Not to mention that Book o’ Degenerate, Hateful Filth that you refer to as the “Q’uran”?”
Reason is the substance of Islam and its teachings … Islam prohibited violence in human life.
Er, right. Of course, that’s not what your holy texts say, nor is it borne out empirically by the behavior of Pisslam over the last millennium and a half.
Anyone who wants the truth (about Islam) must take it from Islam’s holy book, the Koran, rather than from a dialogue or excerpts,” he said.
And when somebody does, studying your diseased death cult from top to bottom in order to arrive at the truth, followed by numerous pleas for dialogue with your religious elders, you all scurry for the caves, refusing to as much as write him an email.
Falafels to cook? Goats that need molesting, perhaps?
But, by all means, if you really feel the urge to pick a fight with the Pope and the Catholic Church, then go right ahead.
Remember what happened the last time, you turbaned thimblefuck?
Entries (RSS)
First….and when is everyone else going to see that islam is not (and has never been) a religion…its a cancer of the human race.
September 16th, 2006 at 7:50 pmIf, as in Christianity, the Word preaches peace but the people practice war, Islam could be considered a nonviolent religion.
If, as in Judaism, the Word condones violence but the people practice peace, Islam could be considered a nonviolent religion.
But in Islam, the Word and the People are in perfect agreement. Convert, submit, or die.
If “moderate” Muslims have a problem with that, it’s on them to prove it, not us.
September 16th, 2006 at 7:55 pmThank you, your Majesty, for defending the Pope.
September 16th, 2006 at 8:13 pmStill lookin’ for that Fartwah, eh, Boss?
Ok, lets see if I can help;
Your prophet was a pedophile, and enjoyed smoking baby dick. Your holiest relic is a fucking rock, mecca is the asshole of the world, medina is a poor joke, and your women are all uglier than dog shit, which is the reason you all fuck goats.
You stink and your nasty ass towel is dirty. Go talk a donkey into pissing all over you, so that we can tolerate your smell.
Your feet stink, flys worship all of you, and your mother does dogs for pleasure, and donkeys for spare change. Your little sister blows sailors for a quarter when they are in port - otherwise, she and your parents starve.
Allah sucks. I think you are too chickenshit to do anything about allah sucking. Fuck you very much, and I hope your entire religion dies of AIDS because you have all been butt fucked by the little green monkeys.
NOW do we get the fartwah, biotch?
September 16th, 2006 at 8:15 pmThwy want a holy war? Say full scale, all out war? Not a problem, send ‘em back to the stone age, they’ll feel right at home, I’m sure.
September 16th, 2006 at 8:34 pmHmmm, never thought of that possibility… All those bent over butt cracks in the mosque could be a good place to park one’s bike…:lol:
Now what would be really cool is if the bike tires are made of hog hide just to add insult to insult…
I mean just look at all the bike parking slots!
September 16th, 2006 at 8:34 pmThere is truly nothing to thank me for, Lady Heather.
Instead, it is I who am in his debt for standing up for what is right and true when no other men of the cloth, any cloth, seem to have the intestinal fortitude to do so.
Deus Vult!
September 16th, 2006 at 9:08 pmOh, and LC Wil? That was a thing of beauty!
September 16th, 2006 at 9:09 pmHow do mooslimes procreate? A goat shits on a rock and mooslime larvae hatch from it in the heat of the sun.
September 16th, 2006 at 9:20 pmJudging all Muslims by what these “muslim leaders” and “islamic clerics” say is akin to judging all black people by what Al Sharpton says.
September 16th, 2006 at 9:49 pm“Good evening and welcome to the Ahmadinner theatre and comedy club…Tonight, direct from a 4 year long engagement at Club Gitmo, We are proud to present…
Hakim Ben Anjerri
Hey…Hey…Glad to be here, I just spent some time in Cuba…nice country, While I was there I issued a fatwah against gay Cubans…..
It’s because they all want to be inFidel……
Okay…Okay…
What kind of shoes do liberal muslims wear?
Burqastocks….
whoa..rough crowd,
Hey!! waddya looking at Ahmed? is that your wife or your martyr in law? Wow, she’s so fat she must be a Sow-di Arabian….
I’ll tell ya’ Middle Eastern food and me don’t get along anymore…gives me a bad case of gas. Why just yesterday I ate too much of my wife’s falafel, later I was walking along the Arab Street and bent over to pick up a coin and farted…whoooo did I let one go!!!. When I stood back up, everyone on the street was on their knees with their asses in the air….they thought they heard the call to prayer!!!
Hey! you in the front row, take your finger off of that explosive belt detonator, you’re supposed to check those things at the door!!
Thank you thank you, don’t forget…face mecca when you order your drink and you get a free plate of cous-cous…..
September 16th, 2006 at 10:05 pm“Judging all Muslims by what these “muslim leaders” and “islamic clerics” say is akin to judging all black people by what Al Sharpton says”
You’re right Brian, maybe I should google condemnations from Muslim leaders for the threats against the Holy Father , but I’m afraid I would have to go all night without sleep. And possibly the entire week as well.
September 16th, 2006 at 10:14 pmDamn, Heather! Is your connection so slow that it takes that long to get back, “Your search returned no results, did you mean ‘Muslim condemnations of the Pope?’”
/sarcasm
September 16th, 2006 at 10:19 pmDon’t get me wrong, Lady Heather. I feel the anger and frustration too.
Frustration like the Israelis must’ve felt.
“Look, see how the Joooos are slaughtering our people!!!”
I’m just slapping myself in the forehead here, because some stupidity is too much for even ME to comprehend.
I realize it’s in bad taste to shout, but I’m gonna and you can make fun of me later.
Israel said:
“YOU INVADED OUR BORDERS; KIDNAPPED AND KILLED OUR SOLDIERS! WE’RE THE AGGRESSORS? NEVERTHELESS IF YOU’LL STOP SHOOTING ROCKETS AT US WE’LL STOP SHOOTING AT YOU!”
So the UN intervenes and Hezbollah declare victory while standing beside dessimated neighborhoods.
Fuck Hezbollah.
And I hope that the Pope issues no further apologies.
September 16th, 2006 at 10:26 pmHah, Guido! That is what I meant…it would mean a fruitless search, trying to find just a sentence, 1 sentence, somewhere from someone brave enough to stand up to the radical elements in their religion and broadcasting it to the whole world.
Brian, my apologies to you. It’s just that I am fed up with, sick and tired of people saying, “don’t judge the entire religion by the actions of a ‘few’..” We have been patient long enough and for far too long.
My faith teaches me that by their fruits you shall know them. And I think it is about time the whole Islamic world be held to account for the actions of the violent within their midst
The moderate, peace loving ones just aren’t doing enough, and the silence from them is deafening, IMHO.
Love doesn’t always mean tolerance. Love also means pointing out the errors of one’s ways and something has got to give.
This cannot continue anymore.
September 16th, 2006 at 10:44 pmYou’re right.
But it isn’t the “muslim leaders” and “islamic clerics” burning churches today in Gaza in anger.
Still, it’s a generalization, I admit it. But I’ve had it with pussy-footing around it. I’ve had it with my nation being called a Great Satan, I’ve had it with Jews being called descendants of apes and pigs, I’ve had it with Mooselimbs claiming that Jews use the blood of children to bake matzos for Passover, I’ve had it with all of this crap and THEN being expected to show tolerance and politeness toward the assholes spewing it, ALL OF THEM, on a fucking daily basis.
If they want insults, I’ve fucking well got them. I’ve got them by the bushel load, and I promise that I’m not going to run out until the Sun dies.
Two can play that happy little game.
So that’s why I generalize, that’s why I deliberately tar them all with the same brush now, because that’s what they do to us.
If they want me to stop, then I have one thing to say:
YOU FIRST.
And it would also help if they, as a whole, quit behaving like lobotomized apes.
(UPDATE: Oops. Looks like I ought to look more carefully for the implied sarcasm tags. Sorry, Brian
)
September 16th, 2006 at 10:48 pm(This reminds me)
Sire, how would you like this bobblehead on the dashboard of your Imperial Stretch SUV?
September 16th, 2006 at 10:59 pm“Brian, my apologies to you.”
Lady Heather, I’m a fucking sailor. Certainly no apologies are called for. If my skin were that thin, I wouldn’t be hanging out at Misha’s site.
Like I told Misha the first time I spoke with him, I’m the most conflicted son of a bitch on the planet.
If they want to relive the crusades, so be it. Bring it on.
Conflicted? The people who just wanted to be left alone…the people who were begging hezbollah to leave their neighborhoods and were subsequently ignored. Rockets were launched and destruction ensued.
The people who were begging hezbollah to stop and leave? Muslims.
OT, We’ve technically been at war with Iran since ‘79 when they invaded our embassy. I pointed out the fact that it would be a shame to go to war with Iran on Sandmonkey’s site, stating that there’s a large pro American population over there, but they’re mostly kept silent by fear. Also I pointed out that it’d also be a shame because Iranian women tend to lean towards the hot side.
Some ignorant bastard with limited English skills accused me of wanting to invade their land, rape and impregnate their women, and leave them out in the streets.
When ignorance prevails, nothing good is going to come out of it.
September 16th, 2006 at 11:02 pmSorry, while I was typing I missed out on 2 comments.
Misha: hear, hear!
September 16th, 2006 at 11:13 pmLady Heather: I want one of those!
Ah, the Imperial Blogger Sandmonkey, blogging from inside the flippin’ vipers’ nest.
Or how about the thousands of Iraqis standing up, fighting side-by-side with our troops over there, risking their lives along with them every day?
Those are not the Muslims I’m talking about. They’re proving their stance and their righteousness by their actions and I have nothing but the highest respect for them.
I think, also, that they know that I’m not talking about them, that they’re not the ones I’m sick and tired of and that they’re not the vermin about whose feelings I couldn’t possibly care less.
I hope they do.
But if they don’t, I’ll be happy to explain it, and if I’ve hurt their feelings, I’ll be happy to apologize, without reservations.
They have my respect, because they earned it.
The rest can go fuck themselves. I have more respect for the crap I wipe off my boots after a long walk across a cattle pasture.
And Milady Heather: I WANT ONE TOO!
September 16th, 2006 at 11:16 pmLady Heather,
When do they go on sale?
September 16th, 2006 at 11:55 pmMisha,
Why is it you can say more in comments than most bloggers can say on their front page?
You piss me off. English isn’t even your first language and still you kick my ass.
Old Dog, are you ex-army?
September 17th, 2006 at 12:06 amGot linkage, Oh, Beauteous Lady H?
September 17th, 2006 at 12:20 amTime (if repeated idiotic power failures allow) to repost one of my recent comments, plus included quotes, from the entry “…’Offended Muslims’”:
And say again.
The jihadwatch.org link leads to another fine example:
Presumably that means they should continually fail.
Sheikh Malin the Malefic evidently couldn’t find the thick-enough-to-cut irony in his own words–not with both hands & a long sword!
Then (to coin a phrase) there are these @$$#0£€$:
Why insult the Prophet when his so many of his professed followers are living insults to his name?
Take the crazy dude on the right–please! Looks like he’s got fists sticking out of his head; maybe the photographer did this on purpose. I humbly propose to His Rottieness (his desired fatwa be upon him) that this guy’s image, with all three fists, be digitally cut from the shot so he can become the Empire’s poster boy for Enraged Islam. We can give him a fitting name, too–like Muhammed Idrisi Jahannami or something.
September 17th, 2006 at 12:52 amOops, that’s Iblisi! Idris is not a bad guy.
September 17th, 2006 at 12:54 amLady H, prithee, where might one find those bobbleheads?
I’ll take a dozen.
September 17th, 2006 at 9:22 amLady Heather,
September 17th, 2006 at 11:32 amI’ll take a dozen as well.
Ask, and you shall receive.
Here you go, boys—
September 17th, 2006 at 12:26 pmI noticed that the Muhammed bobble head is made in China.
I wonder, will the mad muzzies have the balls to call for a jihad on a billion and a half Chinese who wont have any pc problems with slaughtering muslims of all ages and sex?
I Doubt it, the muzzies are by nature cowards, and are only attacking the West because of our pc weakness. The Chinese would use greasy muzzies skin to grease their tank treads with as they run them over.
September 17th, 2006 at 7:56 pmI found them at http://www.dashboardmohammed.com
F-ing Hilarious!
September 28th, 2006 at 10:53 pm