Analogies 101
Posted by: Emperor Misha I in Borders? What Borders?, Idiotarians, Politics10:33 pm
(Link thanks to Sir Christopher)
Listen, His Majesty really likes Tony Snow or at least likes what he saw of him during his stint at FOXNews, but it looks like he should have picked this week to quit sniffing glue. Of course, in all fairness it should be said that it’s his job to put a nice spin on whatever the president decides that he wants to screw up. Given the indefensible imbecility and treason that poor Tony is charged with defending right now, we probably ought to present him with a medal for bravery for having accepted the job offer in the first place.
WASHINGTON - The White House on Friday said a Senate bill that would grant legal status to illegal immigrants is analogous to a traffic law that allows a speeder to pay a fine and continue driving.
“If you had a traffic ticket and you paid it, you’re not forever a speeder, are you?” White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said in response to questions from The Examiner.
“So the fact is, you have paid your debt to society,” he added. “And we have come up with a way to make sure that the debt to society gets paid. Then you move forward.”
Except that the penalty for speeding happens to be a ticket, whereas the penalty for entering the country illegally is a one-way ticket home. So what you have come up with is a way to pretend that the illegal alien’s debt to society has been paid when, in fact, the debt to society as prescribed by law hasn’t been paid in even the slightest.
Here’s a hint, Tony, just for old times’ sake: Before you start employing analogies as a means of argument, you really ought to learn how they work.
Thankfully, Tom Tancredo’s spokesman, Will Adams, was on hand to teach poor befuddled Tony:
“Here’s a more apt analogy,” he said. “You get stopped for speeding, and you say to the cop: “Hey listen, you’re about to give me a $300 ticket. How about we make it 20 bucks and just call it even?”
See?
Not hard at all.
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Yeah, well I think it’s more like stopping them for driving without a license, and cops DON’T just let them drive on their way for that one.
May 26th, 2006 at 11:33 pmDWI: Driving Whilst Illegal
May 27th, 2006 at 12:56 amLet me try an analogy. You catch me humping your missus, and fine me $20. You then let me keep humping your missus for the rest of her life.
May 27th, 2006 at 2:10 amSee analogies are easy!!
(Even if that one puts the anal back in analogy)
[…] The White House on Friday said a Senate bill that would grant legal status to illegal immigrants is analogous to a traffic law that allows a speeder to pay a fine and continue driving. “If you had a traffic ticket and you paid it, you’re not forever a speeder, are you?” White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said in response to questions from The Examiner. […]
May 27th, 2006 at 4:24 amHow about: “You get stopped by a cop for speeding & driving without a license & insurance (You’ve never had either.) Instead of going to jail and getting hit with a HUGE fine, you pay $20, are given a lifetime driver’s license, get to bring all of your relatives over from a foreign country (They also get lifetime driver’s licenses.) and you and your extended family are automatically entitled to free lifetime housing, food, health care & college tuition.”
Sounds about right to me.
May 27th, 2006 at 7:59 amHow about the speeder gets pulled over…the cop pretends to give him a ticket and there is no fine…then the speeder leaves and continues to speed. Problem solved according to our Govt.
May 27th, 2006 at 10:05 amOK everyone, time for a singalong!
(to the tune of “She’ll be Coming ‘Round the Mountain!”) with apologies to Derb:
We’ll be pouring through the border when we come
We’ll be pouring through the border when we come
We’ll be pouring through the border, to heck with law and order
We’ll be pouring through the border when we come
If you’re ranching near the border when we come
Better hide your wives and children when we come
Just don’t go to fix your fences
There’s no point in such expenses
We’ll just break ‘em down and burn ‘em when we come
We’ll be filling up your hospitals and schools
We don’t care about your petty, silly rules
When to pay your tax you’re straining
Think of all your nation’s gaining
What’s the point of more explaining you poor fools!
Every guilty rich white person needs a maid (”IT’S FREE TRADE!”)
Small and meek so there’s no need to feel afraid
They will work all kinds of hours
Mow the lawn and tend the flowers
And won’t argue if they’re grossly underpaid
Being brown and poor we make the leftys swoon
If you grumble “that’s just racist” they’ll impugne
If you protest you’re a bigot
So just open up that spigot
And we’ll have you speaking Spanish pretty soon!
Sure a lot of us come here to practice crime
In your prisons we’re a dozen for a dime (”DOING TIME!”)
But a prison cell in Utah
Beats that farm in old Oaxaca
And your prison guards can use that overtime!
In any case this country isn’t yours
May 27th, 2006 at 10:43 amJust remember all those cruel an unjust wars
Your Forefathers stole our nation
This is just “REPATRIATION”
So we’ve come here now to stay and settle scores………………….
Dr. Thomas Sowell has an interesting take on this alledged speeding ticket crapola:
May 27th, 2006 at 11:29 amHow about “If you murdered someone and spent time in jail, are you still a murderer?”.
Ummm. Yes.
May 27th, 2006 at 11:42 amI’ve heard some insane shit in my years but nothing, I mean absoflogginglutely nothing like the elephant kaka pouring out of this administration. If all the spin on immigration were turned into dung beetles you could walk across the Potomac on the shit balls being rolled out of the White House.
This is utter lunacy. Poor Tony has to compare the illegal entry into a sovereign nation with jaywalking! Our borders are nothing more than two sets of curbs and a crosswalk sign.
Gee Officer, I didn’t see the traffic light signal switch to “STAY THE F**K OUT!”
Gee Officer, I musta made a left instead of a right at Nuevo Laredo! Come on! It’s only an “illegal” turn.
Gee Officer, I was only driving with my Mexican attached!
I’m so pissed I wanna shoot something.
May 27th, 2006 at 1:32 pmOh, RobH, NICE!
May 27th, 2006 at 1:34 pmI dunno… why don’t you consult with the highway-side cameras along the 101 in Scottsdale! I’m sure they have many repeat offenders. Maybe our red lights should be blinking signs saying “VIVA LA MIGRA”… that’ll stop em in their tracks.
May 27th, 2006 at 1:42 pmSnow’s analogy is fatally flawed. The issue here is breaking the law, being it speeding or otherwise. But to answer the Snowjob……..yes. You do not speed all the time. If in this country illegally you are doing it all the time. You are forever an illegal alien, unless you get a visa, or your papers and take the oath. My feelings? Not that it bothers the more effluent among us, wanting these people to mow their lawns, work for their companies and such. Considering how I feel about these exploiters as human beings……I call them traitors. They make the cash, you pay the bills. Nice work if you can get it, huh?
May 27th, 2006 at 3:12 pmWhat really irritates me is they think I’m stupid enough to swallow that bullshit.
RobH…a fine piece of work. LOL.
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August 1st, 2006 at 4:08 am