It’s Twilight in Tinfoil Land (UPDATED)
Posted by: Emperor Misha I in Idiotarians, Lefty America-Haters12:25 pm
Just look at this touching piece published at the Daily Kotz (and if you don’t speak German, you won’t understand why that name’s funny, but trust us: It IS!) and brought to our attention by LC & IB Jeff G.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a look of misery and dejection on the face of my daughter as I just did a moment ago.
Somebody stole Fitzmas again. The poor child. We’re tearing up here.
She just couldn’t understand why the President would be going to Iraq when so many things are wrong in this country.
What is he doing being all Presidential and stuff, visiting with our troops fighting to protect a fledgling democracy in a war-torn nation under attack from fundamentalist terrorists when so much is wrong here? We’re not entirely sure what it is that is so horribly wrong here that it must, perforce, demand the full and undivided attention of the Commander-in-Chief, but perhaps some midnight basketball program got cancelled somewhere.
Oh the HUMANITY! Will nobody think of The Children™???
“Doesn’t Mr. Bush care about us anymore?” she asked pitifully.
Are you talking about “us” as in “all of us Americans” or “ME!?”
In the latter case, please elaborate on your use of the word “anymore.”
I sat down with her on the sofa and (as calmly as I could) tried to explain to her why the President seems to be abandoning his country.
Because, as we all know, unless the President is firmly chained to his desk in the Oval Office, the country is officially abandoned, left hanging over the gaping maw of the bottomless abyss, bound to plummet to the hellish depths below at any moment.
“Honey, I think his boss, Mr. Rove, sent Mr. Bush out of the country in order to keep himself out of the newspapers. You see, he wasn’t sure if he was going to be arrested today or not, and so he planned Mr. Bush’s trip ahead of time just in case…”
“Oh, and sweetie: We seem to be out of tinfoil. Could you please be a good girl and go buy us a dozen rolls later today?”
I tried to keep my voice steady, but it became increasingly difficult - the rage and feelings of helplessness were just too much. I think my daughter could tell something was wrong.
Throwing yourself on the floor, kicking your feet and beating the organically grown hemp throw rug with your clenched fists while screaming “Fitzmas, FITZMAS, why must you TORMENT me so? WAAAAHHHH!” probably gave the game away, yes.
I found myself at such a loss for words - nothing made any sense; nothing makes sense anymore.
You never did.
I finally had to admit, “Honey, I just don’t know - I don’t know what’s going on in this country anymore…”
Again: What’s with the use of the word “anymore?”
When I finished her lower lip started to tremble and her eyes began to fill with tears, “Daddy” she said, “why are the Republicans doing this to the country?”
Because we can. Because nothing is more efficient at putting a smile on our evil, bloodless lips than ravaging the pristine beauty of this nation of ours, persecuting little brown people and forcing underage girls into back alleys to die at the hands of coat hanger-wielding savages. When we’re not busy pushing wheelchair-bound grannies down stairwells or stamping out every last trace of the three-toed Alaskan mountain slug.
Well, that was it for me: I finally fell apart.
Hey, relax. We aren’t really going after your precious endangered slug. We were just kidding. Not to mention that we haven’t been able to locate the pesky little bugger. Yet.
She just fell into my arms and we both began sobbing for several minutes.
Awwww… Isn’t that cute?
For once she had to comfort me and get me back on my feet. Sometimes I just think it’s too much, but seeing the strength in my young daughter’s voice helped me to get through.
Poor kid, stuck with raising an overgrown baby still in diapers.
UPDATE: And now, with added Devil!
Frankly, I’m pretty convinced that his number three option at the end is the truth.
Entries (RSS)
That poor girl, to be so brainwashed at so early an age.
June 13th, 2006 at 12:30 pmThis is one case where I would ENCOURAGE the Nazis at Children’s disServices to get involved.
That kid will grow up a paranoid schizophrenic with delusion of adequacy if not immediately removed from that home and placed with actual human beings.
June 13th, 2006 at 12:42 pm“It’s going to be okay, darling. Let’s just go read the nice neutral fairy tale about how the evil Republikkkan king spent all his time peeing in the peasants’ drinking water until the courageous transgendered chairman of the People’s Cooperative Yak Farm convinced him to examine his own sexuality in a frank and non-critical manner and the king discovered that he was actually gay and was then beaten to death by his own storm-trooper Nazi guards. That one always makes you feel better.”
June 13th, 2006 at 12:47 pmWhat a dark dark world they live in.
June 13th, 2006 at 12:58 pmDamn it! You beat me to it! Now I’ll have to go find something else to fisk….
June 13th, 2006 at 1:02 pmMy gawd, I haven’t had such a good laugh in months. I really need to visit the Daily Kos more often. “Daddy, why are you crying like a whipped, liberal, pansy wuss?”
Bwahahaha! Poor kid.
June 13th, 2006 at 1:11 pmHoly CRAP, Misha!
Go back and read the comments this guy got!
Dang!
- MuscleDaddy
June 13th, 2006 at 1:11 pm[…] Update Part Deux: The moonbats are allready feeling dejected. His Imperial Rottiness has an excellent fisking here. […]
June 13th, 2006 at 1:15 pmUnfortunately, my ability to fisk myself is too limited or I’d spend far too much time at the DailyPOS myself. But I very much enjoy reading your versions of these whiny moronic airheaded piles of steaming horse droppings.
As far as turning this kid over to some government agency… too bad they are all so infested by incompetent libtards (like this whiny moron) too stupid to be able to figure out how to pour piss out of a boot if somebody hands it to them upside down with instructions printed on the heel…
RH
June 13th, 2006 at 1:16 pmFrom Kos
They are so depressed over there that they are eating there own.
June 13th, 2006 at 1:17 pmC’mon guys! That diatribe was from IowaHawk, right? Right?
ROFLMAO!!!
June 13th, 2006 at 1:25 pmWell, I guess we all need a good cry now and again……
[tries to keep a straight face, and fails]
Honestly, I hope this guy is kidding. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned (goodness, I’m only 20) but I have NEVER seen my dad cry; its just not done. If something’s broke you fix it, not curl up in a little ball and whine and cry. Parents are supposed to be PARENTS, not the equal. You can’t raise a kid when they have to comfort you!
June 13th, 2006 at 1:25 pm/incoherent rant
June 13th, 2006 at 1:26 pmI can’t believe that’s an actual post. It’s just too over the top. It reads like an overwrought fantasy that some one has been writing and rewriting in their head until they figured it sounded ‘poigniant’. Well, until others pointed out that ChiChi (great nick for a woman, by the way) has posted simular crap recently.
June 13th, 2006 at 1:31 pmWhoops- I am corrected- it’s CheChe. Maybe she’s Cuban, I dunno.
June 13th, 2006 at 1:33 pmIt’s a man!!!!!!!!!!!
June 13th, 2006 at 1:52 pmYou gotta love it when someone’s getting fisked by his / her / its fellow KOStards.
June 13th, 2006 at 1:54 pmmy daughter has seen me cry. but only while watching the Reagan Funeral procession and memorial, and almost any time i hear the Star Spangled Banner. She’s older now and understands. Not so much cry as get teary, if there is a distinction.
June 13th, 2006 at 1:56 pmThat there is. I hold nothing against anyone for that. Its crying for petty things that bothers me.
June 13th, 2006 at 2:00 pmThe Truth Will Out…
It’s so sad, being left at the altar like that. But no worry: They’ll just speculate that it’s another White House official. Dare they hope for Dick Cheney? Why yes, they do! (The legal merit of that hope is, um, a bit thin.)
(Can I suggest pur…
June 13th, 2006 at 2:01 pmWhere’d you find that quote, DJM? (# 6) I went and read through the comments over there, but I can’t seem to find it.
UPDATE: Wait, never mind. Found it.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
June 13th, 2006 at 2:05 pmLong time lurker, first time poster. I haven’t laughed this hard in, um well, actually it was yesterday at another whiny ass liberal.
Great stuff. Love your site!
June 13th, 2006 at 2:13 pmthat’s like using your child as a Human Emotion Shield
June 13th, 2006 at 2:15 pm“here daughter, read what this mean republican said about me and share my injury and alleviate my pain”
June 13th, 2006 at 2:17 pmBush Makes Surprise Visit to Baghdad…
Via AP
June 13th, 2006 at 2:19 pmPresident Bush made a surprise visit to Iraq on Tuesday to meet newly named Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and discuss the next steps in the troubled, three-year-old war.
It was a dramatic move by Bush, traveling to violence-rattled Baghda…
Welcome aboard, Jewells, and thanks! Also, don’t be a stranger. Post until your fingers bleed
June 13th, 2006 at 2:41 pmOh, here is a follow up at KOS. This has got to be a troll, it is just too funny. Apparantly this guy has recycled this same story about his crying daughter three or four times.
Check it out!!!
June 13th, 2006 at 3:00 pmThis is too much. I’m going to crack a rib reading this stuff… I never knew how much fun the Daily Kos could be! But what should I expect from a blog that has news links to The Onion…
(All by CheChe)
June 13th, 2006 at 3:02 pmSorry, Jay, I must have been copying and pasting as you were linking.
There must be a lot of crying in that household - they even end up sobbing in each others’ arms with ‘happy’ news. All because of the agony the horrible republicans have wreaked. I’m so ashamed.
June 13th, 2006 at 3:11 pmNotice, the posts starts with:
Insert whatever the evil Republicans are doing here.
And ends with….
Word for word. We should have a contest in who can enter the most insane shit they could think of.
Bwaahahahahaha
Moroons….
June 13th, 2006 at 3:20 pmThis is actually my first visit. I try to avoid donkey blogs. I feel so dirty afterwards.
June 13th, 2006 at 3:24 pmThat’s a good idea Staci.
And on another bit of good news, if you want to celebrate all of the idiocy with a good cognac or bourbon just make sure you drink plenty of coffee in the morning.
June 13th, 2006 at 3:24 pmHis daughter has the ever increasingly, intensifying “look of misery and dejection” on her face. Maybe it’s because she’s just discovering what a pussy she has for a father. I can’t believe people actually attended a ‘Yearly Kos’ convention for this crap. It’s no wonder liberals can’t get anywhere on the radio or in the blogosphere.
June 13th, 2006 at 3:27 pmClarify-I meant my first to Daily Kos.
June 13th, 2006 at 3:30 pmLOL, someone else picked up on it.
http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=433909&mc=42&forum_id=2
And posted it in a comment over there. If anyone has a troll account, they should let them know about this thread too.
BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
June 13th, 2006 at 3:39 pmJune 13th, 2006 at 3:41 pm
Some comment from over the pond…
DK
June 13th, 2006 at 3:50 pmJesus H. Christ! And me without my puke bucket …
June 13th, 2006 at 4:00 pmAwww how heart-touchingly PATHETIC and these numbskulls think they should be in control of a bicycle, much less the country?
Duty, Honor, Country
June 13th, 2006 at 4:01 pm(in THAT order)
Rowane
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! …………….BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!……someone *PLEASE* put those two poor miserable fucks out of our misery!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!
June 13th, 2006 at 4:03 pmOMG!!! This has GOT to be the most PATHETIC excuse for a man I have ever seen. Are his panties the same shade of pink as his miserable and dejected daughter’s?? This child sorely needs a father that is a real man and not some whiney, limpwristed, pansy ass, jello-spined moron. She is already so brainwashed that there’s little hope that she’ll grow up with any sort of realistic perspective of life.
June 13th, 2006 at 4:04 pmEven from the snippets that Misha ripped into, I could tell it was BS. But checking out the comments on KOS was fantastic.
There is no daughter, any girl who is old enough to know politics has absolutely no interest in talking to her Father. Unless there’s money involved.
June 13th, 2006 at 4:16 pmWonderful idea, Staci! Kind of along the lines of “It was a dark and stormy night…”. This “guy” in the Reynolds Wrap chapeau is going to be hard to outdo, though. His writing “style” reminds me of Jeremy Zilber (Why Mommy is a Democrat). It’s really hard to believe that a man wrote this - it’s too sissy even for most women, I think! I sure hope he wears waterproof mascara, with all of the crying he does.
Maybe it’s the sofa that is causing all of the problems at this household … just a thought; all of the weeping and wailing seems to take place on the comfy couch.
June 13th, 2006 at 4:22 pmWe don’t push grannies down the stairs ourselves anymore. We have robots for that.
Pak Chooie Unf!
June 13th, 2006 at 4:26 pmCheChe replies:
“I’m simply not going to apologize for loving and comforting my daughter.
She happens to be very concerned about the course of this country and if you want to make fun of that, well, good for you.
There’s just not enough time to always be writing a new story each and every time something happens, and since this is what happened, it seems fair. Since we lost her mother there hasn’t been a lot of free time around here.”
Not even the loons believe the guy, and if you can’t sell full frontal weepery to them, it’s time to find another schtick.
June 13th, 2006 at 4:33 pm*yawn*
I heard (and made fun of) better Bouncy Ball tales at the DUmp.
I give it one bong out of five.
June 13th, 2006 at 4:34 pmlinky no workie?
June 13th, 2006 at 4:38 pmLooks like CheChe is going for the “Jersey Girls” tactic.
June 13th, 2006 at 5:17 pmYou just gotta love the DU for the entertainment value provided by those tin hatted clowns…
Junkdrawer says: “I think the Jason Leopold affair has been a GREAT SUCCESS!“…:toast:
June 13th, 2006 at 5:27 pmLooks like perpetually-wet Che-che got his pe-pe whacked by his own LefTardian Fuckwit Brethren…
Jewells said:
And the donkeys feel so ashamed after being forced to have sex with Dhimmicrappers, hon.
As His Majesty™ said earlier, WELCOME ABOARD & DON’T BE A STRANGER!
June 13th, 2006 at 5:48 pmBut, please, don’t be any stranger than B.C., I don’t think we could take another one…
^snarky grin^
June 13th, 2006 at 6:38 pmThat’s when she wiped the snot running down my face and said, “Come on Daddy, finish your your Fruity Pebbles and get your crayons and helmet, you’re going to miss the short bus again.”
June 13th, 2006 at 6:48 pmThe more they “express themselves” to those few of us left who can actually read/think/understand, the stupider they appear to be - and are!
The question I must ask is how people actually GET this way? Is it their public school education? Their “indoc” by lefty professors? Their living in an alternate universe?
I do not, and do not wish to, understand them, for they know not what they think!
June 13th, 2006 at 6:49 pmOne problem with this one, RobH, if I recall correctly from HS Biology, “stimulus/response” is not considered thinking…
Or is my memory going out, along with my vision?
(It’s all B.C.’s fault I’m going blind, BTW, I ran across those Helen Thomas pictures of his the other day….. ^shuddering^)
June 13th, 2006 at 6:56 pmBill H, I agree. Misha’s fisking was epic but this lobotomized Kos Klown is full of shit. It doesn’t even sound remotely genuine let alone believable, imao.
June 13th, 2006 at 6:58 pmHaw, haw, haw! Here’s another one, from June 7, about the California race:
You see, Apollyon, this clown is not full of shit, but his carpet now is….
June 13th, 2006 at 7:56 pmKkkarl Rove is sooooo gooood at feeding them this misinformation. I hope there is a whole room full of psyops “bloggers” in the White House.
June 13th, 2006 at 8:27 pmThe one thing so unnervingly weird about this, Apollyon is other Kossies are telling the guy “enough already!”. Apparently the guy has zero idea his style of prose is in imminent danger of making him- and Kos by extension- a laughingstock. I agree with Staci- we need a Bad Kos Kontest. Open it up to all bloggers, and posters with a sense of absurd. CheChe’s latest attempt at crocodile tears can only serve as inspiration.
June 13th, 2006 at 8:48 pmFolks, it’s a send-up! Complete and utter trolling. I admire the chutzpah of his/her baiting of the Libtards. Effing brilliant! And they are so dim they fall for it. This same person has made the same sobby post at least 4 times I could find.
The Hobo
June 13th, 2006 at 9:24 pmIf it isn’t the Troll King, it sure comes close.
June 13th, 2006 at 9:32 pmI agree. It is a most brilliant troll. Sure had me going for quite a while.
June 13th, 2006 at 9:35 pmAlpha troll! It makes the most sense of any explanation so far …
June 13th, 2006 at 11:46 pmHowever … he/she is not that far off the mark. Check out Jeremy Zilber - he’s close, he’s for real, and he has posted at that site.
June 13th, 2006 at 11:49 pmI was listening to the Medved show yesterday, and some leftard was on talking about his book “American Taliban”, where he acuses the christians in America of wanting to have a christian taliban type government here. Total pap.
One caller asked that if he REALLY felt that boosh was the end all and be all of evil, why didn’t he act like a true hero and call for his assasination?
The way that the libtards carry on about how evil boosh, rove and the rest are, you’d think that if they had owned a pair of balls, that they would take that final step and work toward his assasination. Medved dodged the question, but really, when will the KOZ crowd stand up on their hind legs and IF this administration IS worse than Nazi Germany, DO THE RIGHT THING and kill boos and every single republican they can get their hands on? Seriously, what’s worse, someone who takes glee in watching a house burn down or someone who risks their life and indeed, their sacred fortune to put thigns right? How many libtards in their little fantasy world, if thrown back in time, would have tried to stop Hitler or died trying?
With all their rhetoric about the evils of this administration, but no real guts to do the hard and difficult thing and kill boosh to save the world, I won’t belive a word they say in opposition until they are willing to put their own lives on the line for the freedoms and liberty that not only claim to defend, but insist are the greatest things they could hold.
I mean, I put on the uniform of the US Army not more than 4 months ago because I BELIVE that this is a fight that is worth fighting and I WILL put my life on the line for the freedoms and liberty of this country. If they are not willing to bleed and die for what they say is so important, then why don’t they STFU and keep their fucking politics in the realm of reality, and work on getting their worthless piece of shit liberals in office. And they say that WE use scare tactis and prey on the fears of America for political gain.
June 14th, 2006 at 2:15 amMan, hard to believe that wasn’t just a mole screwing with their heads, it was so over the top….then again, we are dealing with la creme de la certified moonbats….
June 14th, 2006 at 3:33 amROFLMAO @ that post kwongdzu!!
That HAS to be a troll….
Now I need to go find another box of tissues before I leaving behind a trail of tears that will flood the whole continent from laughing.
MUST. BREATH.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
OMG, this is out of control. CheChe…. With a name like that, he HAS to be troll. This is killing me.
June 14th, 2006 at 3:19 pmAnd a very ugly, wicked, and devious troll at that!
(glad it’s one of “ours”)
As Michael Cain said in Goldmember:
“Got an issue, here’s a tissue.”
June 15th, 2006 at 4:59 pm[…] (tip o’ the hat to Emperor Misha for the inspiration. […]
June 15th, 2006 at 8:28 pm