Whole Foods™ in Austin are re-thinking this whole selling live lobsters in their stores concept.
Why?
Because they’re concerned that their customers might be cruel to the poor little lobsters when they get them home.
No. Really. I swear I’m not making this shit up!
What the fuck do you progressive granola-munching gimpwits suggest that we do with them? Cuddle with them in bed?
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Crustacean-cuddling is a capital offense in Nevada.
(Now sheep… that’s another story…)
June 13th, 2006 at 4:39 pmFirst!
No they expect us to release it back into the wild where it will die as the climate is wrong for the lobsters. (but don’t mention to the dipshit treehuggers that they are animals that eat lobsters in the wild)
June 13th, 2006 at 4:40 pmThat’s insane!
June 13th, 2006 at 5:03 pmWell Misha, what did you expect of liberals? Rational thought?!?!…:lol:
June 13th, 2006 at 5:10 pmI think the poor little lobsters should be dropped off at the Imperial
DungeonGame Room Lobster Freedom Project™ immediately.They’ll live a care-free, yet decidedly short, life of lounging around in tropical, sauna-like waters and then, after they’ve expired of “natural causes” (“Death by hyperthermia” is, after all, “natural”.), they’ll be given a fitting send-off that will include being dredged through drawn butter and then recycled into their constituent organic molecules through the natural process of gastro-intestinal particulate re-arrangement.
That should satisfy everyone on both sides of the issue. Next conundrum?
June 13th, 2006 at 5:17 pmDoc, that’s pretty baaaaaad.
June 13th, 2006 at 5:35 pmNeed to send part of them to my Citidel Annex Play Room™, BC. you can’t claim ALL the duties of the Lobster Freedom Project™, it’s only fair the we share those responsibilities.
June 13th, 2006 at 5:39 pmEvery time a hippy cries, an angel gets his wings …
June 13th, 2006 at 5:43 pmYou also have to look at the fact that it’s impossible to be cruel to a lobster as they can’t feel pain. The don’t have a central nervous system! Sure, they know when bad shit is going down, but they don’t feel a thing…they just go to sleep.
June 13th, 2006 at 5:55 pmI like it better this way, Jim-Rose:
June 13th, 2006 at 6:05 pmWell, B.C., it’s going to take one heck of a pot if you want to dunk a Moonbat in boiling water but, then again, that’s a mere technical problem.
No way you’re going to make me dip one of them in melted butter and eat them, however.
June 13th, 2006 at 6:16 pmi just wonder how many of you shop at Whole Foods and how many of you even buy lobsters from whole Foods
considering the problems our country is facing, this issue doesn’t even rate to be at the botton of the list
June 13th, 2006 at 6:32 pmAnd we need a clean-up on Aisle 12; Libtard w/o a sense of humor crapping on the carpet….
June 13th, 2006 at 6:45 pmAnd your nomination for the bottom of the list?
Just askin’.
June 13th, 2006 at 6:49 pmI thought all Libtards were without a sence of humor, and I have yet to meet one that was housetrained.
June 13th, 2006 at 6:54 pmYou know I have been thinking about this lobster thing, and feeling a little guilty.
Couple of years ago JB and I had a beta fish that was actually our daughters (serena) and she was neglecting the poor fish, so as good grandparents we were we decided to take custody of the fish.
Well one day beta (yes that was his name) jumped out of his bowl on to the couch. *tears in my eyes* and he took a little breath with his fishy mouth, and his fins were going back and forth and he died with his last breath.
JB and I were so worried that the human society was going to come and take our couch away and put it into evidence for our murder the fish case.
Well we are happy to say that all the charges were dropped and the judge ordered us never to have seafood again, including lobster as that would be cruelity to seafood.
*smile*
Red
June 13th, 2006 at 7:04 pmThanks for the editorial input. Now carefully type it out in triplicate, wrap it around a spiked baseball bat and jam it up your… You get the picture.
How on Earth do you manage to go through life being such a dour, solemn, humorless killjoy?
See the masthead up there? It says “Anti-Idiotarian”.
Those morons at Whole Foods are idiots.
There. That’s your explanation for you.
Now go buy a sense of humor. Even a cheap one would improve your quality of life immensely. Trust me. You can thank me later.
June 13th, 2006 at 7:05 pmLOL LC Sandy!
That was a truly touching story. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a look of misery and dejection on the face of my son as I just did a moment ago, after I’d finished reading your tale of woe aloud to him. He just couldn’t understand how the President could have failed to send in FEMA to rescue your dear little fish when he jumped out of his bowl. “Doesn’t Mr. Bush care about the little fishies anymore?” he asked pitifully.
I sat down with him on the sofa and (as calmly as I could) tried to explain to him why the President seems to be abandoning all shreds of human decency. “Squirt, I think his boss, Mr. Rove, told Mr. Bush to ignore the little fishies in order to better focus on his illegal war in Iraq…”
I tried to keep my voice steady, but it became increasingly difficult - the rage and feelings of helplessness were just too much. I think my son could tell something was wrong. I found myself at such a loss for words - nothing made any sense; nothing makes sense anymore. I finally had to admit, “Squirt, I just don’t know - I don’t know what’s going on in this country anymore…”
When I finished, his lower lip started to tremble and his eyes began to fill with tears, “Daddy” he said, “why are the Republicans doing this to the fishies?” Well, that was it for me: I finally fell apart. He just fell into my arms and we both began sobbing for several minutes.
June 13th, 2006 at 7:12 pmI find that you must be careful when shopping at a whole foods store.Wearing the correct attire for example is important.One must abstain from deoderants and all perfumes that kill the ozone and not wash for at least a week.
June 13th, 2006 at 7:16 pmBirkenstocks are the shoes of choice and anything with peace signs or anti-war symbols is sure to get you discounted prices.
Be mindful of their rituals and they will accept you as one of their own.
Of course this is purely for documenation purposes only..because WHY THE HELL would you want to be.
You know what? I’ve got a great idea for a protest! Everyone who objects to the treatment of Lobsters at Whole Foods should buy one, free the claws — those rubber bands are cruel, doncha know — and stuff them intheir pants for safekeeping while they wave their signs!
June 13th, 2006 at 7:42 pmDoes that include the “Peace Through Superior Firepower” pin on my boonie hat?
June 13th, 2006 at 7:59 pmto the tune of “Stars and Stripes Forever”
So be kind to our fine feathered friends,
Just remember that they’re really tasty,
Whether roasted, fried or broiled,
You’ll love the way they look,
On your plate.
So be kind to our fine feathered friends,
When you cook them don’t ever be hasty.
With some garlic, some butter, some salt,
June 13th, 2006 at 8:26 pmThey smell so good,
They look so fine,
They are so tasty.
WARNING: When lowering the moonbat into the boiling peanut oil, ensure that your pot and heat source are secure. A tip over can cause a fire. And if you aren’t careful, the moonbat may escape.
June 13th, 2006 at 9:04 pmAh, heck, I don’t think you can get peanut oil hot enough to melt baling wire without setting it on fire anyways…
June 13th, 2006 at 9:12 pmNice to know we have a pet libaturd again. I’ve missed ron. As far as your ’serious’ observation, I think it reveals that you are simply oblivious to how far the idiotarian agenda has seeped into our daily lives. We are committed to fighting the forces of stoopid wherever we have the displeasure of finding them. This is as good an example as any.
As for supemarkets in general, having worked in one while in high school and college, I could tell you stories from each department that could make you think twice about ever eating anything ever again.
June 13th, 2006 at 10:06 pmI recall watching a live lobster getting fried on the Today Show … the chef de-gutted it, removed the tail for further treatment, and placed the still live head, legs, and thorax on a hot skillet … and the cameraman, bless his heart, zoomed in for a closeup of it skittering around the pan, trying to get out without touching the pan with its legs …
I guess the chef thought the meat tasted better if he could generate more “excitotoxins”.
How a mere consumer could beat this display is beyond me …
June 13th, 2006 at 11:11 pmOh hell, Lobsters are just great big salt water cock roaches anyway. Give me crab instead!
June 13th, 2006 at 11:39 pmLiving here in the land of crustateons, and the home of the Dungoness crab, most of our stores have live shellfish caught fresh. We seem to have no problem taking our new-found pets home and offering them up for a meal.
mmmmm!
June 14th, 2006 at 1:44 amGo ahead, Dave. Make me drool and turn green with envy. You cruel, CRUEL man!
June 14th, 2006 at 1:49 amAllyn, You forgot the fresh salmon.
June 14th, 2006 at 3:59 amI’m writing this from Saint John, New Brunswick, where lobster roll is as commonplace as Cheezy Fries back home. Years ago, lobster was Low-Rent Food in these parts. Rich kids ate bologna sandwiches for their school lunches; the poor kids had to make do with lobster. True!
For my 30th birthday - a long time ago - the Missus and I went out and ordered a 10 pound Maine lobster. It must have been old enough to have little lobster great-great grandchildren, but tough noogies. It was delicious…the left claw, the size of a dinner plate, came home with us to be converted into lobster salad the next day.
Dang, them big Ocean-Bugs is tasty. Whole Foods needs to have their collective heads examined.
June 14th, 2006 at 2:52 pm