North Korea Bombards the Sea of Japan
Posted by: Emperor Misha I in Communist Swine, UN Watch3:15 am
So far, no news as to whether marine life has surrendered.
In a burst of nationalistic fervor, the Poofy-Haired Midget of North Korea, Ding-Dong Ill, decided to celebrate the 4th of July by launching a series of missiles at marine mammals of the Sea of Japan. At this time, it looks like half a dozen, only one of which were the inter-continental Bow-Tied Dong which, as was to be expected of a North Korean dong, didn’t manage to stay up for more than thirty-some seconds.
Sadly, the failed dong didn’t drop back down on Pyongyang and, sadder still, it wasn’t fully armed with a nuclear warhead.
Since President Milquetoast stated last month that a launch of the Bow-Tied Dong would be “unacceptable”, a sternly worded diplomatic message of concern is expected at any moment now. Anonymous sources inform the Imperial News Service that the message, in an unprecedented display of courage, might even include the words “naughty” and “bad boy”.
Joining in a unified front of uncompromising opposition to the nuclear ambitions of North Korea, Japan has requested that the U.N. Security Council join today in order to have a glass of champagne, a lobster dinner and possibly even scribbling down a note of concern on a placemat.
Entries (RSS)
frist, Maybee he is just deep sea fishing?
July 5th, 2006 at 3:44 amNow is the time to take out the missile test facilities in N. Korea. They’ve tested their ICBM and it doesn’t work. We should give them 24 hours notice (just to be nice) and blow the hell out of the site and tell them any other launch site they construct will have the same fate. Enough with the negotiating, China Russia, Japan and S. Korea are in much greater danger from Lil Kim than we are, and should now realize that this psychopathic despot is more of a threat to them than us.
I did like the launching of a couple of medium range missiles to camouflage the ICBM launch. “We confuse you running dog lackeys of imperialist power by playing your three card Monte game. You never guess which one blow up….by accident…if it did…which it didn’t”.
July 5th, 2006 at 3:57 am“Splish, splash, missiles takin’ a bath”
Now, did they file Environmental Impact Statements on the effects of the missile propellants on the sealife?
Or is the ACKU gonna do that for ‘em?
July 5th, 2006 at 4:45 amLooks like Ding-Dong takes the phrase “Nuke the Whales” seriously.
July 5th, 2006 at 5:59 amLittleman has gone too far this time. I heard some yammering on MSM about how the Urinal Nations just HAD to step in now. “Stop right now or we will…tell you to stop again…or something.”
July 5th, 2006 at 7:01 amThis just goes to prove that the North Koreans can’t keep their Dong up for more than 40 sedconds at a time.
July 5th, 2006 at 7:23 amMore like: “staging the event in order to shake-down the UN ’security council’ for concessions.”
Look everybody! I’ve got a gun!
Okay, who’s going to pay me NOT to use it?
Of, course the RATIONAL answer to that question is a headshot from the roof across the street.
- Oh, crap! I just used ‘rational’and ‘UN’ in the same thought-stream…
Okay, see you guys later - now I have to go chip away at the ozone layer again. (this membership-maintenance thing takes a lot of work)
- MuscleDaddy
July 5th, 2006 at 8:31 amWhen I was a kid many moons ago, I was into model rocketry. The little solid fuel buggers really flew. In fact I had one the surpassed the Ding Dong II missle in flight duration. If I had added a second stage, it probably would have exceeded its range as well.
July 5th, 2006 at 8:37 amHas Red Peace issued any statements? Of course not, because the marine mammals were not threatened by capitalism; actually they WERE since WE forced Littleman into a corner and he really had no choice
July 5th, 2006 at 8:58 amfound that in an AP story. Do they claim a sovereign right to counterfeit our currency as well?
July 5th, 2006 at 9:02 am[…] Regarding this post by the Grand Imperial One: Joining in a unified front of uncompromising opposition to the nuclear ambitions of North Korea, Japan has requested that the U.N. Security Council join today in order to have a glass of champagne, a lobster dinner and possibly even scribbling down a note of concern on a placemat. […]
July 5th, 2006 at 9:10 amhttp://kcna.co.jp
What a joke. Barney fife with a missile silo. Time for some “point-and-laugh” diplomacy.
The link up top is to the “Korean Central News Agency”. It’s pretty quiet about their fizzled missile tests, but today’s news has puff pieces about the Ronery One visiting and “providing guidance” to a new tire factory (the poor buggers are starving, but they’ll be damned if Ding Dong Il ever sees a bald tire on HIS roads), greetings to the presidents of Rwanda and Venezuela, blah blah blah.
Massive drink alert for the site; it’s North Korean propaganda and, as such, self-fisking.
July 5th, 2006 at 9:47 amI saw this from Strategypage: http://www.strategypage.com/qnd/korea/articles/20060705.aspx
Truly insane, especially since China is the only reason NK still exists as a “nation”. This dictator doesn’t have much of a grasp on reality, does he?
July 5th, 2006 at 9:54 amSeventh Missile Launches from North Korea…
This morning the ILL manic has fired another one.Oh, an idea, perhaps we can send Kim Jong Il’s buddy, Clinton’s former Sec of State, Madeleine Albright over there to kiss up to him and then everything should be alright. Albright stated Il watches CN…
July 5th, 2006 at 9:57 amYou know, I really hated it when you were calling him “President Milquetoast” a year ago or so but recent events have proven (unfortunately) that you were merely a bit “ahead of the news cycle”… or something kinda like that, except that you were right unlike ther rest of the stinky farts who try to use that as an excuse for screwing up by the numbers.
I wish the guy truly was the cowboy everybody outside our borders seems to think he is.
RH
July 5th, 2006 at 10:00 amMaybe Kim would feel better, calm down, and stop trying to assault the Sea of Japan if we could get Fwance to surrender to him.
The Norks haven’t beaten the Fwench yet … they might as well get it done now.
July 5th, 2006 at 10:10 amHans Brix ? Aw no
You breaking my baws Hans, you breaking my baws
Life imitating art…..
July 5th, 2006 at 10:17 amSorry Mish you’re sources are wrong.
The Imperial Sixth Column Intelligence Agency is reporting that a *stern look* is being contemplated. Negotiations are at an impasse whether it includes a frown or not.
July 5th, 2006 at 10:18 am**************************************
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In a reckless and provocative move Kofi the Kookie Krime Czar™ loses his composure and wags his finger in reproach at Little Kim-che.
July 5th, 2006 at 10:42 amLook….had anyone considered that the reason no one is all that fussed is because they knew it was a fizzle??
His “long range missile” was a dud..and right now he is at the drawing board going “hmmmm”…its a NON EVENT.
Yeah he fired a missile…and it lasted exactly 40 seconds. It proved his “threat” is a wet noodle.
Yeah , the guy needs handlihng and yeah its ongoing…but he was trying to make a “point” and instead made a fool of himself…but an immediate issue/??
Not now..no. So why yell DEFCON TWO?? It’s not a criticality….yet.
July 5th, 2006 at 11:11 amDISCUSSIONS, DISCUSSIONS, and more discussions while more, and more missiles are launched…..I say BOMB that SUCKER!!! Blow Kim Jong IL, the evil dick-tator….in orbit. (excerpt from updates)
This little weenie needs to go!!!!
July 5th, 2006 at 11:35 amTrue. But it’s generally wiser, not to mention a whole lot easier, to deal decisively with a maniac like Ding-Dong Ill before he becomes a real threat.
Besides, since he’s obviously not quite up to snuff missile-wise, wouldn’t it be the Christian thing to do to show him how it’s done? By, say, sending a cruise missile through every window of his government buildings?
July 5th, 2006 at 12:01 pmThe Good Emperor sez:
Well if you listen to madeleine albright she says that when she talked with kim jong il, he expressed a fondness for American sports and Michael Jordan, and loves American TV. She emphasized “He is NOT insane”.
what position did she hold in the clinton cabinet again?….was it Secretary of……..Sucker?.
The world is a safer place because of people like hans blix, albright, and kofi anan…..dontcha agree?
July 5th, 2006 at 12:26 pm“Bent over the desk with her knickers around her ankles.”
July 5th, 2006 at 12:46 pmI learned about this talking with a friend yesterday. He said of course the missiles didn’t go far at all; they were made in North Korea. Who ever heard of quality products coming out of North Korea?
We’re also both big anime fans. The theory that Japan secretly has the technology to shoot down missiles did arise in our discussion. Whether it’s a SAM missile defense system, or giant robots piloted by cute girls, we’re still not sure on that.
July 5th, 2006 at 12:50 pmRe: madeliene not so bright
Darth Misha sez:
jeeez, that’s a mental picture I didn’t need right before lunch…
July 5th, 2006 at 1:12 pmdon’t forget about Ultra Man!
July 5th, 2006 at 4:31 pmThe first one to mention a certain woman from Robotech is assigned to dishwashing detail for the remainder of 2006.
July 5th, 2006 at 6:36 pmKim Jong Il To Shoot A New Load…
North Korea, the nation that put the word “terror” in the phrase “Stalinist terror state,” may be preparing another set of missile tests….
July 5th, 2006 at 11:59 pm4th Of July Afterglow…
I hope everyone had an enjoyable 4th….
July 6th, 2006 at 12:24 am