Things are going great, and they’re only getting better… (link thanks to Sir Christopher):

Israel’s Cabinet decided earlier Wednesday to send the military, which had been carrying out small operations in northern Gaza, deeper into the territory to set up a buffer zone to prevent rocket attacks on southern Israel, and to step up pressure on Palestinian militants terrorists who captured an Israeli soldier on June 25 and refused to free him until Israel has released hundreds of Palestinian prisoners.

Er, it was a thousand, but who’s counting? After all, that is the same as ten “hundreds”, right? And that’s when the paleswinians got really, really stupid:

On Wednesday, militants paleswinian terrorists fired a rocket into the southern Israeli city of Ashkelon, the second in two days. Ashkelon’s 110,000 people had previously been too far from the Gaza border to be hit by the militants’ paleswinian terrorists’ many homemade rocket attacks. But the militants paleswinian terrorists appear to have obtained or built longer-range rockets.

The famous paleswinian space program or “irritant”, as the al-Grauniad’s Patrick Seale prefers to call it. Of course, Patrick doesn’t even recognize the 13 civilians who’ve been killed by the Kassams as human beings, referring to them instead as “nobody.”

On the Gaza beach, two people were killed and 11 wounded in an explosion. Palestinians said Israeli gunboats or tanks shelled the area, but Israel denied that. One of the dead was a Hamas militant terrorist from the democratically elected governing party Hamas and the other a Palestinian coastal policemen, hospital officials said.

A distinction without a difference, which is why we had to edit the original to conform with reality. On one hand, the Asspounding Press wants us to recognize Hamas as the democratically elected government of “palestine” (which it is) and, on the other, they go to great lengths to pretend that Hamas and “palestine” are two completely unrelated concepts.

Unfortunately for the impeccably credentialed professional journaljizzmers at AP, we can fact-check their asses.

And this is where it gets really funny:

A car carrying a crew from the Arabic satellite TV channel Al-Jazeera came under fire from Palestinians, wounding two, according to one of the reporters in the car, Wael Dahdouh. He said the gunmen apparently thought the reporters were Israeli undercover agents.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Couldn’t have happened to two nicer assholes.

Oh, and we want to know who blew the cover of those two fine Zionist undercover agents? Heaven help us if the paleosimians find out that not only al-Jazeera, but also AFP, AP, CNN and quite a few other news agencies in the area are firmly and deeply in our Evil Zionist pockets.

Of course, we did expect them to notice at some point in the future that every time a “reporter” shows up to photograph and/or interview some of them, IDF missiles have a tendency to show up a short while later. The dots aren’t all that hard to connect, but we were hoping that it would take a little while longer.

[Don’t worry. The above has been encrypted and can only be read by legitimate members of the Global Zionist Conspiracy. We wouldn’t want any of those wonderfully brave undercover agents posing as members of the press to get hurt, now would we? We DID encrypt this notice too, right?]

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 5th, 2006 at 8:18 pm and is filed under Paleswinians. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.