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Yep. It’s 74 years ago today that Congress finally realized that Prohibition didn’t work and repealed the whole sorry mess of government meddling, so pour yourselves a tall one, such as this mouth-watering Long Island Iced Tea, and let’s have a toast to that!

And remember, just as gun control laws would eliminate guns from society today, Prohibition completely eliminated alcohol from society back then. Not to mention how illegal drugs have completely disappeared. None of those around, thanks to our brilliant legislators in DC.

Comments 59 Comments »

Sorry, Bill, but there really is no better headline for this entry, so I’m just going to steal yours.

Since everybody’s talking about the NIE’s sudden discovery that the Iranian nuclear weapons program doesn’t exist anyway and has been stubbornly non-existent for four years now, we figured that we might as well say something too, but we’ll keep it short and sweet. We try not to waste too much electronic ink on self-evident displays of massive ignorance like that one.

We’re still waiting for the liberals to announce that the NIE’s latest is a bunch of bollocks that can’t be trusted, however. Isn’t that what they’ve been telling us about their (and the rest of the world’s intelligence agencies’) estimates about Saddam’s WMD programs? It’s almost as if they only believe the NIE when it happens to agree with their agenda. Besides, lest anybody throw the same charge at us, the pre-Iraqi Freedom estimate, we repeat, agreed with what pretty much every single intelligence agency in the world was saying at the time. This time? Not so much.

Over to you, Ehud Barak:

Defense Minister Ehud Barak said that he was familiar with the report that had been shown to him by US Secretary of Defense Robert Gates during the Annapolis peace summit last week.

“I am familiar with the American intelligence assessment,” Barak said following a meeting with Hungarian Chief of Staff Gen. Andras Havril. “Nevertheless, I say again that Iran is today a central threat on the world and the State of Israel.”

Could Ehud Barak be wrong? Of course he could, the NIE could be accurate, but when somebody’s pointing a gun at you and threatening to kill you, common sense dictates that you ought to take his word for it, rather than waiting to see if it’s just a toy gun.

And, besides, Bill says it so well that we can’t possibly improve on it:

Frankly, given that intelligence “estimates” in the United States have become political footballs - or worse, guided missiles launched by defensive bureaucracies at presidents they despise - I would tend to take Israeli intelligence a bit more seriously, given that for them, such estimates are a matter of life or death. [Emphasis ours — Emp.M]

Comments 62 Comments »

Time to light up the menorah and make some latkes!

Even if nudniks like these can’t help being utterly, cosmically stupid about it (link via Chef Mojo):

In a campaign that has spread like wildfire across the Internet, a group of Israeli environmentalists is encouraging Jews around the world to light at least one less candle this Hanukka to help the environment.

The founders of the Green Hanukkia campaign found that every candle that burns completely produces 15 grams of carbon dioxide. If an estimated one million Israeli households light for eight days, they said, it would do significant damage to the atmosphere.

Far be it from us to introduce logic and rationale to those shlemiels, experience shows us that it’s as much of an exercise in futility as trying to explain basic algebra to a garden slug, but it is our impression that rather more than a million observant Jooos have been doing just that since, well, forever, and last we checked the atmosphere was still there.

“The campaign calls for Jews around the world to save the last candle and save the planet, so we won’t need another miracle,” said Liad Ortar, the campaign’s cofounder, who runs the Arkada environmental consulting firm and the Ynet Web site’s environmental forum.

If we were in the “asking for miracles” business, we’d ask H’shem to have mercy and give you a brain instead of the one you obviously misplaced at some point in your life.

“Global warming is a milestone in human evolution that requires us to rethink how we live our lives,

Glowbull wormening is a milestone in the history of Ponzi schemes and the gullible goo-goo heads who are terminally daft enough to fall for them, and what it really requires is for us to accept the premise that life was so much better in medieval times when we were all sitting around in dark huts gnawing on bark. Except for the fact that today’s Glowbull wormening idgits would tell those medieval peasants to snuff out their candles and fireplaces as well.

and one of the main paradigms of that is religion and how it fits into the current situation.”

Glowbull wormening is a religion. Granted, a particularly stupid religion, but a religion nonetheless.

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 53 Comments »

Tuesday again. Oh my, how time flies.

Tuesday is Rottie Radio Night on Your First Choice On the ‘Net!!!

LC Jackboot, Imperial Correspondent and Ambassador to the Outer Blue Rim and Ranter Extraordinaire™ slicing, dicing and stomping the left on Tuesday Truth 7-9:30 CT and yes I might consider taking music requests. That doesn’t mean I’ll play them however.

His Imperiousness will be taking the night off for once in order to catch up on some much needed sleep, he hasn’t had much of that for a while and his eyes are dangling about at the level of his cheekbones, but that only gives the excellent Tuesday Truth™ more time to rock your lives.

You can reach JB on the RadioCIA request line ciarequest AT gmail DOT com or via Yahoo Instant Messenger (tuesdaytruth).

We do get rather busy on the console, so your patience is appreciated and please, no IM “Buzz” that’s reserved for technical emergencies.


Please note to all listeners: We have been experiencing issues with the Winamp media player that occurs during our handoffs from one studio to another. Listeners, immediately following transfer of the broadcast may hear either James Earl Jones on barbituates or Alvin and the Chimpmunks on crack, issuing forth from your headphones or speakers. Not to worry, if that happens, just reset your player using the “Play Bookmark” function or alternatively you can also just bypass using Winamp altogether and stick with Windows Media Player. It is NOT necessary to reboot your ‘puter to correct. Sorry folks it isn’t something that is under our control to correct, so don’t waste your time telling us about it, M’Kay?

Comments 17 Comments »

A year ago, three Christians were executed in indonesia for murdering muslims. There were a number of protests regarding the actual guilt of the executed individuals, and we must admit that we have our reservations about the legitimacy of the charges as well. But disregarding all of that and assuming for the sake of argument that they were guilty, His Majesty has absolutely no problem with them being executed. Murderers are vermin and should be terminated with extreme prejudice wherever they may be found.

In another case from indonesia, three little girls were brutally murdered (as in “they had their heads hacked off with machetes on their way to school”) and the evidence in this case most certainly was ironclad. Another difference that has turned out to be important is that the victims were Christian and the murderers were muslim in this case.

Important to the “court”, at least, because the slobbering subhumans guilty of the atrocity got off with 10 to 19 years in prison.

Our friends at The Jawa suggest boycotting the pisslamic pesthole known as indonesia, which is a good idea. For a start. Personally, we’d much prefer that we carpet bombed them. With Ebola. Repeatedly.

“Religion of Peace” Our Arse.

Thatisall.

Comments 34 Comments »

…because Her Royal Cankledness, the Hildebeest, has caught him in a lie not once, but twice.

Yes. A flat out, baldfaced LIE! And Her Bitchiness should know one when she sees one, having pretty much written the book on the subject. A book that, incidentally, still suffers mightily in its usefulness by not having been printed on two-ply, soft paper.

So what’s the lie? Well, wait ’till you hear THIS, because it’s going to shoot Osama Obama Yo Mama’s campaign down in FLAMES, we tell you. As you may be aware, Dumbo The Messiah once claimed that he never really planned to run for President. Well guess what? The Wicked Bitch of the West’s crack research staff have revealed that it isn’t true. Barack Hussein has revealed a desire to become President not once, but twice in the past.

In Kindergarten and in Third Grade, no less
. It is believed that he also, at various times, may have expressed a desire to become a doctor, a policeman, a fireman and even a cowboy.

So there you have it, all of you Obama-supporters: You might as well pack up and go home, because you’re just no match for Shrillary’s elite campaign staff and their 1337 5k|11z.

Her Pantssuitedness Herself couldn’t be reached for comment. It is unknown at this time whether it was because she was busy heroically staying at home and talking on the phone during another hostage crisis, but we hope not. The multiple consecutive orgasms that the MSM were having all over the place praising her fortitude and Presidential demeanor by canceling a public appearance were embarrassing, to say the very least. Not to mention more than a little bit sickening. Next week in the MSM: “Hillary Shows Uncommon Valor by Calling in Sick Because of Hangnail, Film at Eleven!”

Getting desperate, Hildebeest?

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Comments 31 Comments »

This just in from alert reader hilljohnny:

In a December newsletter to the families of elementary school students, Spokane Public Schools’ list of “important dates” didn’t include Christmas.

Hanukkah, Human Rights Day, winter break, the Islamic holy day Eid al-Adha, first day of winter and Kwanzaa all made the list. But no Christmas.

“It was absolutely an error of omission,” district spokeswoman Terren Roloff said. “In our efforts to be inclusive, we missed the obvious.”

That’s actually quite funny. Being so obsessed with being “inclusive” that they forgot to include the single largest and most obvious group. No, His Majesty doesn’t think it was deliberate, it is just a typical example of Idiotarians being so desperately afraid to “insult” minority groups and cause a manufactured outrage that they quite forget to engage their brains. Ending up creating an even bigger outrage, of course. Oh, the irony.

The omission drew complaints from some parents that Christians are being overlooked in favor of other cultures and beliefs.

Greater Spokane Association of Evangelicals Executive Director John Tusant said the error surprised him.

“The stores have been decorated for the last month. How do you overlook that?” Tusant asked.

“What? Christmas? Oh, so that’s why we have nativity scenes, Christmas Sales, carols, pine trees and decorations everywhere! Gee, I completely didn’t notice that.”

Sorry, but we just can’t muster Teh Outrage™ here. We’re too damn busy laughing our Imperial Arse off at the bumbling fools.

Hutton School parent Jane Harper noted the absence of Christmas but didn’t think the omission was meant as a message to Christians.

“Christmas is so dominant in our society. I don’t know that anyone should feel slighted,” Harper said.

Oh? We see: Because Christians are in the majority, we just have to put up with everything. The comedy of the school clowns and their fuckup isn’t insulting, but that statement surely is. It’s the exact same blather we hear when we’re told that Because Whitey Has All The Power™, there’s no such thing as discrimination against whites. And if there were, we bloody well deserve it. To atone for our sin of being in the majority and Oppressing The Poor Brown Skinned Peeples™, of course. Which is strange, because His Imperial Highness can’t recall the last time that he oppressed anyone, brown skinned or otherwise, so he’s utterly unable to find something to feel guilty about.

Roloff said the district would not have included Hanukkah and Eid al-Adha if it had intended to avoid religious celebrations.

Just some religious celebrations. Again: We don’t for a second believe that this was intentional. It’s more hilarious than anything else, but that’s just because we relish mocking other people’s idiocy and screwups, adorable and cuddly that we are, but that “explanation” is utter and complete bull manure. Incidentally, we think that the school tried to do the right thing: To avoid the usual sectarian nonsense and blatherskites babbling about “separation of church and state” because of their total inability to understand the First Amendment, they decided to celebrate all holidays, which is exactly what we’d have proposed ourself. It’s just that they sort of forgot the largest religious celebration of them all in the process, which is flat out hysterically funny.

Outraged? No. Laughing our tuchis off? Oh yes. Oh yes INDEED.

Comments 20 Comments »

(Via Hot Air)

An Israeli scientist is now saying that the nuclear plant hit by the IAF earlier this year wasn’t merely a nuclear plant, it was a nuclear bomb plant.

ISRAEL’S top-secret air raid on Syria in September destroyed a bomb factory assembling warheads fuelled by North Korean plutonium, a leading Israeli nuclear expert has told The Sunday Times.

Professor Uzi Even of Tel Aviv University was one of the founders of the Israeli nuclear reactor at Dimona, the source of the Jewish state’s undeclared nuclear arsenal.

“I suspect that it was a plant for processing plutonium, namely, a factory for assembling the bomb,” he said. “I think the DPRK [Democratic People’s Republic of Korea] transferred to Syria weapons-grade plutonium in raw form, that is nuggets of easily transported metal in protective cans. I think the shaping and casting of the plutonium was supposed to be in Syria.”

Bullshit?

Your mileage may vary, but His Omnisciency would suggest that it isn’t. It’s a bit hard for us to imagine that an appeasenik and lily-livered fucknozzle like Ehud Smolmert would acquiesce to an armed attack upon a neighboring nation with all that that implies, just because he was worried that Damascus might get cheap electricity.

At any rate, it clearly demonstrated to Syria (and, *cough*, a certain turbaned titweasel in Tehran) that Eretz Yisroel won’t be sitting around with their thumbs up their arses while their enemies prepare Shoah II, the Sequel.

No matter what the State Dept. and Gondolapisser Rice say.

Comments 18 Comments »

After all, one of the socialist tinpot tyrants that he is so enamored with just suffered a defeat in a vote.

CARACAS, Venezuela - Humbled by his first electoral defeat ever, President Hugo Chavez said Monday he may have been too ambitious in asking voters to let him stand indefinitely for re-election and endorse a huge leap to a socialist state.

Throwing democracy out the window and electing something with the IQ of a shredded turnip to be President for Life “ambitious?” Naaaahhhh…

“I understand and accept that the proposal I made was quite profound and intense,” he said after voters narrowly rejected the sweeping constitutional reforms by 51 percent to 49 percent.

The narrative has changed a bit already, we see. Earlier, this narrow squeeze of a victory was called “a stunning defeat” by some of the MSMidiots, but perhaps they decided that it was too obvious an admission of their opinion that any rejection of socialist tyranny is “stunning.”

Some shed tears. Others began chanting: “And now he’s going away!”

Dream on. Hate to burst your bubble here, but if history teaches us anything, it’s that socialist wannabe dictators don’t let such minor things as transient election defeats stop them. You might want to look up a certain Austrian with a toothbrush mustache if you’re not sure what we mean.

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 20 Comments »

Dutch legislators have set down a commission to answer an utterly baffling (to them) question:

Netherlands authorities are commissioning a study to determine why Moroccan men target gays in Amsterdam, considered one of Europe’s most gay friendly cities.

Wow. That’s really confounding. We wonder why that could be? Let’s see… Moroccan men, religion of piss, targeting gays… Nope, we’ve got nuthin’.

Of course, they’re already busy trying to come up with an answer that has nothing to do with the actual cause:

Half the hate crimes were committed by men of Moroccan origin. Some researchers believe they lashed out at local gays after feeling stigmatized by Dutch society, the newspaper said.

Of COURSE! The mooselimbs of the famously tolerant towards gays religion of piss are targeting gays because… *drumroll*… THEY ASKED FOR IT. Being the evil, white, imperialist, oppressing bastards that they are.

If there’s a species of flagellates more terminally mindfucked than the average, self-loathing EUroweenie, we sure haven’t heard of it.

Assclowns.

Comments 27 Comments »