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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Archive for Front Page
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Archive for the “Front Page” Category

(Crossposted at the Realm™.)

Okay, so two weeks ago or so, I stepped in front of a wedding-qualified official-type person for the (mumble mumble)th time (    ), engaged in a private little ceremony, and am now planning on where to go have dinner with two of my bestest friends in the Blogosphere and some of my Beloved Bride’s Buds™.

At this point, I’m thinking On The Border™.  Festive, there’s margaritas there, relatively inexpensive, there’s margaritas there, cozy, there’s margaritas there…did I mention that there’s margaritas there? 

La Reina Espatula™ is advising caution, however, as she’s not sure if her friends already have a bistro in mind.  “No worries”, I’m thinking, “I’ll just use my powers of persuasion…

(there will be a short pause here as BC finishes up with his sudden coughing fit)

…to talk ‘em into OTB.  Okay?  Okay.”

So our little two-vehicle convoy - myself, the SpatulaBride™ and the SpatulaGoddess™ - pull up at Ana’s former place of employment, a little school called Descubrir, I and my new wife walk inside while the SG waits in her van, so that I can announce Our Plans™ for Ana’s pals for the next four hours.

Before I can utter a word, however, they open the door to their main classroom…and both my jaw and that of the SpatulaBride™ hit the floor at warp speed.

For this is what awaited us…

(Click on the pic to take you to the rest of ‘em.)

Needless to say, a bodaciously fun time was had by all (though probably the most fun was had by the Royal Heirs™, who were bouncing like Super Balls™ all over the place all night long).

And, as soon as we secure our house, we’ll have our own little homewarming shindig in the form of Texas Blogfest ‘07:  Spats Can BBQ, Too!!!

Enjoy the pics!

Comments 16 Comments »

…not that I have frequent scientific polls.


Comments 83 Comments »

East Timor.

We fought to make it free. We shed blood and worked for years to give those people a fighting chance. Thousands of Australians risked their lives every day to give the people of Dili a new home, a better place to live.

The rat bastard bombers of Kuta murdered us because we were there, two hundred souls lie sleeping, in memory bright.


We built hospitals, schools,we built water systems, we cared for their children as if they were our own…we walked amongst the bodies of those whose only crime was to want independence from the brutal Indonesian government and their “insurgents”..and we swore we would make it right.

We went home when the job was done. We were proud of ourselves. We helped bring an independent nation into the sunlight.

And the UN moved in.

TEENAGE Timorese prostitutes gather just before dusk opposite a hotel on Dili’s waterfront where drivers in United Nations vehicles can be seen picking them up and driving away.

Weep for the children, weep for the future that they could have had, if these inhuman scum had never set foot in their country.

For the love of God , haven’t these people suffered enough????

Some of the 2000 UN police and civilian staff from more than 40 countries are openly violating what the UN promised would be a “zero tolerance” policy towards sexual abuse and misconduct in the deeply religious country, sources say.

Expatriates say a dozen brothels have recently opened in Dili, and that vehicles with UN markings can be seen parked outside them most nights.

When the UN Security Council established UNMIT in August, Sukehiro Hasegawa, then the top UN official in Dili, promised a crackdown on the behaviour of personnel serving in the mission, which includes 1600 police and 500 civilian personnel.

Yes,well we know just what those “promises ” were worth,about the same as a hundred of those meaningless and futile “resolutions” on Darfur, not to mention the venom thrown at Israel and the United States every single day.

The UN headquarters in New York had just received an internal report exposing a culture that covered up perverted and outrageous behaviour by UN staff in East Timor over years.

Like this?

And this?


How many more fucking reports will it take for the “esteemed” and “humanitarian” Secretary General to start cleaning the scum off his own floor before he has the fucking unmitigated GALL to open that yap of his about the “poor mistreated souls” at Gitmo??


Look into this child’s eyes, you incompetent, negligent son of a bitch. Chances are he is already dead. him and millions more..whilst you sup on caviar and champagne

The report said peacekeepers had left behind at least 20 babies they had fathered to poverty-stricken Timorese women who were now “stigmatised” and in some cases “ostracised” by their communities. It also listed cases of sexual abuse of children.

And for each and every one of these “peacekeepers”, there is a special place in Hell, waiting, with their names on the door.

Since 1999, when UN personnel first arrived in East Timor, not one employee has been charged with a serious offence.

The UN will do what it has always done, what it always will do….until we kick their sorry asses out and tell them to take their stinking, corrupt paedophilic “peacekeepers” with them.

It will do……NOTHING



Lots of trees.

MAJOR assembly required.

Comments 25 Comments »

Due to circumstance beyond Beth’s and my control (read: absolutely underwhelming response to the invite, plus the fact that the Blown-Eyed Blodgers just got through having their own little soirée and we don’t want to space these things too close together), Texas Blogfest 2007 has been postponed yet again.

We’re now thinking about a date sometime in the fall. More details to follow, but it’ll help if you guys can tell us when in the fall would be best for you.


UPDATE: Guys, that doesn’t necessarily mean there won’t be anything going on. We’ll likely have some sort of informal get-together Saturday or so, just a few of us. May even do a little shooting that day. This just means there won’t be anything scheduled…you know, like Saturday at my place for Train Wreck Stew™.

Those of you who still wanna come out can email me here, and we’ll figure something out.

Comments 11 Comments »

Don’t you just love it when a plan works?

Man Drowns In Moat At Missouri Casino

In a blinding display of engineering passive security systems, a casino in Missouri successfully tests a new security system.

A man fleeing security drowned early Saturday after he leaped over a railing into a moat surrounding a casino, authorities said.


Police said the man, identified as Anthony D. Swopes, 21, of Kansas City, fled while being questioned about his identification at the Isle of Capri casino. A check of the card revealed an outstanding bench warrant.

Living up here in the heart of real casinos, anyone with a few functioning neurons will conclude if you are even close to the legal age for gambling expect to be carded by casino security. They are as proficient and professional as military personnel charged with guarding nuclear weapons. I’ve personally been intercepted by them, tailing a claimant in moderately crowded times. Those guys are on the ball, and the really good ones you won’t see at all.

Authorities were called around 12:30 a.m., and firefighters recovered Swopes about 45 minutes later. He was pronounced dead at a hospital.

I would suggest, perhaps the addition of a few hungry ‘gators to the new security system, further reducing disposal tasks.

It was the second death of its kind at the casino in recent years. In July 2005, police said, a woman apparently jumped into the Isle of Capri moat and later died.

Ahh, right on time too. Leave it to our journjizmers gleefully congratulating themselves on pointing out how deadly the Moat of Doom™ actually is. The score is Moat-2, Goblins/Suicidal Guests-0. I’m sure this will predicate a call from the left to ban anything that could possibly drown someone.

Moats are common fixtures at Missouri casinos. Casino gambling in the state initially was restricted to floating riverboats, but the state’s constitution was amended to allow riverboat casinos to float within manmade moats.

ummm…they were rather more common in other places, but I’m sure you skipped that class in j-school. I know history was an elective course, taking a back seat to eminently more important classes such as culture studies and navel-gazing. G_d forbid exposure to actual education, emoting is all a good little leftist needs to be successful.

Don’t you just love it, when Darwin steps up to the plate, once again?

Comments 35 Comments »

Over the last two days, the level of sickening hypocrisy and arrant stupidity of the media has reached depths of nausea that even I did not believe were possible

Chief of these, is a cry to ban all handguns.

This, if done, will leave all the guns in the hands of those who don’t give a rats ass for the laws being clamored for.

We do not have the right to keep and bear arms in Australia

And a criminal brandishes a shotgun in our faces and robs us in broad daylight.

We do not have the right to keep and bear arms in Australia

And we are carjacked at gunpoint.

We do not have the right to keep and bear arms in Australia.

And as a bank employee, we are threatened with a gun as the bank is robbed.Or shot as we cower on the floor.

We do not have the right to keep and bear arms in Australia.

And a woman is shot to death by a maniac, in a real estate agents office.

We do not have the right to keep and bear arms in Australia.

In the future, a lunatic who got his guns from an illegal dealer on the streets stalks through an office, slaughtering anyone he sees. I may be next, as he stands there laughing, and my last wish is that I had had a gun to shoot him instead.

But yes, all bad guns are “bad” and we have lots of gun laws to keep us safe. The government will pass lots more, and ensure we are never allowed to have a gun.

If you have the nerve to defend yourself, expect to wind up in jail when the criminal sues you.

We keep telling ourselves how safe we are, thanks to all of those gun laws…until an armed home invasion gang smashes down the front door.

Don’t let them do this to you.


Comments 39 Comments »

Since it’s a slow news day (and, nowadays, that’s a Good Thing), His Imperial Majesty will just piss and moan a bit about the weather. Hey, when all else fails… The level of complaints about the weather is a good general indicator of the peacefulness of a society, just look at history. You won’t find many records of Cato the Elder yammering about droughts, for instance. He was too busy agitating in favor of urban renewal projects in Carthage. Nor will you find too many long-winded screeds about excessive rainfall in the writings of Winston Churchill who, at the time, was somewhat preoccupied with the explosive precipitation over London, courtesy of the Luftwaffe.

At this point, we’d like to know if maybe the Gorebeciles could find it in themselves to send some of the Global Wormening our way. At the time of writing, the temperature outside is 45 degrees. In Texas. In the middle of April. To be sure, once the statisticians are done massaging the numbers, they’ll be telling us that April of 2007 was the hottest April since the firebombing of Hamburg in 1942, but we all know what they say about statistics, right?

It’s like the endless complaints about “not enough rainfall.” Yes, rain is a Good Thing, particularly when you’re occupying the same latitudes as His Imperial Majesty, but throughout the years, no matter how much rain we’ve gotten, even when whole neighborhoods have been turned into lakes by the wet stuff, it’s always the same song on the TV: “We didn’t get enough” or “we didn’t get as much as we usually do”, which leads us to suspect that their baseline is the Great Flood. We can hear it now:

“Much needed rainfall ends after a mere 40 days and 40 nights. Women, minorities hardest hit by driest season in history.”

Oh, and then there are the twisters. Now, we’re not going to complain about those, we’re used to them down here. They’re just a fact of life, just as earthquakes are in California. Don’t like ‘em? Leave. Last night we had one passing through and it left a lot of damage in its wake, along with two dead which, all things considered, isn’t all that bad for a super cell hitting a metroplex. Cold comfort for the families of the two who died, we know, and our prayers go out to them, but in the grand scheme of things it could’ve been a lot worse.

What we will bitch about is the morons operating the severe weather sirens. Put it bluntly: They’re more useless than teats on a bull. True to form, they went off all over the place last night, AFTER the storm had passed, when it was nothing but a bad memory and a slight drizzle, just like every fucking time in the past.

Not that it matters all that much to us locals. We know when Bad Shit is about to happen. The sky gets a funky color which is hard to describe if you haven’t ever seen it, but all of you fellow Southerners know what we mean. The light is “off”, the clouds look “not right”, the wind is “wrong” or absent when it should’ve been there, the air doesn’t feel “right”… All of this tells you, if you live here, that this isn’t just one of the thunderstorms that we get all the time. So it’s not that we need the sirens to tell us that Bad Shit is about to happen. We’re inside with the Doppler on a continuous feed and shelter and emergency lighting all ready to go before the NOAA has even noticed that anything out of the ordinary is afoot.

So what good, exactly, are the damn sirens, other than an excuse to waste tax payer funds? Obviously, they might warn people who aren’t used to our peculiar weather patterns. Tourists, business travelers spring to mind. But how are they helped by sirens that never, ever go off before a storm? All that they do is to annoy the shit out of us locals while informing everybody that hey, a storm just passed through. In case the roofs, cars and livestock flying through the air failed to alert you to the fact.

“Gee willikers, you just survived a super cell, just wanted to let you know in case the fact that you’re still breathing eluded you.”


So in case you’re visiting our beautiful state, the sound of sirens means that you have nothing left to worry about, because the fuckheads operating the “on” switch wouldn’t dream of letting you know while the information might actually be useful to you. It’s like an “all clear” without the benefit of a “take shelter” warning. Of course, if you’re hearing the “all clear”, you most likely don’t care since it’s all over. Look to the locals instead. If they’re getting off the streets, ask them why. If you think that the weather looks like it’s about to get bad, ask them what they think. Because waiting for the severe weather sirens to go off isn’t going to help you one little bit. They’ll only tell you that it’s over which you’ll already know. You’re still breathing, after all.

Oh, and another piece of advice to tourists: Don’t, for the love of G-d, walk around outside at noon in the middle of summer. Unless you want to provide entertainment for normal people sitting inside, drinking cold beer while taking bets on how long it will take for you to pass out. If we’re not out there, you shouldn’t be either.

“Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.”

Come inside and have a cold one instead. It’s on us.

Comments 111 Comments »

(Re-posted since the first attempt was buried in a Misha post-a-lanche.    )


Okay, guys, here’s what Beth & I have come up with:

We’re gonna shoot for May 25th through May 28th, 2007, in Dallas Addison (where TB ‘05 took place).  (By the sheerest of coincidences, that just happens to be Memorial Day weekend.  We are aware of the potential for disaster problems inherent therein.  On the other hand, it seems to be an excellent time to get together and hoist one (or eighteen) in honor of absent friends.)

And to make things dovetail very nicely, the future La Reina Espátula and I have decided to postpone our wedding one month, which may allow more of you to attend.  (No, nothing’s wrong - we need more time to find a house, that’s all.)  Therefore, TB07 festivities will kick off with the wedding and go from there.

More to come as things develop.  And we’ll likely be cranking up the old Blogfest site for up-to-the-minute stuff.  Keep yer eyeses peeled.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled ranting.

UPDATE:  Oh, one other thing:  As of now, the wedding itself is scheduled for Friday afternoon - IOW, when many of you are either still at work or in transit.

That can be possibly pushed back to Saturday, if  you RSVP that you’re interested in attending.  I can attempt to persuade the JP to have it somewhere - say, Realm™ Headquarters (i.e, my place), but I need to hear from you, either by email or here.

Lemme know, and thanks.

Comments 3 Comments »

[A short introductory note by your benevolent arse of an Emperor: As you may have noted, there’s a new byline on this post. It belongs to our very own Voice of the Pacific, LC & IB Brendan, who has been kind enough to offer his unique Australian point of view on this site from time to time, and we were more than eager to take him up on it. So, without further ado, please offer a big welcome to the Thunder from Down Under, Brendan:]

In a stunningly revealing interview, the female sailor some have dubbed Ms Headscarf, has detailed how she was brutally tortured by the Iranians.

“THE female British sailor captured and held by Iran has told how her captors stripped her to her panties, lied to her and threatened she might never see her baby again.”

Oh MY GOD, tell me they didn’t do THAT???

What was next, making you watch Iranian TV? That she was LIED to?? How terrible… You’re right,. that’s really cruel and unusual punishment, we must call the UN and tell them that it was all their fault.

Iranians lied, Turney cried….

Dear Lord, not the panties, please, it brings back memories of Abu Ghraib…oh wait, they didn’t put them on your head…yeah, that was MUCH less traumatic.

Silly me.

Compare this simpering,vacuous, sickly little weakling with what REAL warriors have suffered in the past, vets suffering physical trauma, beatings,isolation, sleep deprivation, starvation, truth drugs, brainwashing,freezing, cigarette burns….hundreds died in the hands of the enemy..yet they never bowed, never broke, even the ones confronted by Hanoi Jane Fonda refused to give an inch..yet all it took for this little wallflower to break, was to be told she “might never see her baby again”.

Compare her “stress” and “fear” to the shining courage and valour of Pte Johnson Beharry, newest recipient of the UK’s highest award for bravery, the Victoria Cross.

You can damned well bank on the fact that faced with the same dilemma, Pte Beharry would have spat defiance in their faces.

Awww…did poor widdle Turney have her widdle feewings hurt???? Poow wittle wady….

Gentle LC’and G.L.O.R’s, please disregard that high pitched whine you are hearing….it’s just Winston Churchill reaching 3000 rpm.

Meanwhile, the youngest among the 15 Britons held captive by Iran has told another newspaper that he was “blindfolded, threatened, and left in solitary confinement for days by the Iranians, who dubbed him “Mr Bean”.


Not the “Bean” procedure…anything but that, please, I beg you, have mercy…

I can think of thousands of Korean War and Vietnam veterans who would take one look at this little wuss, and burst into tears at the pathetic state of a once great military force. Where are the jut-jawed, implacable, indomitable Tommies that kicked the Afrika Korps across the African desert?? Is THIS the pride of the British Navy..are these…people the inheritors of the harriers of the Graf Spee, the courageous heroes who defied the U Boat menace on the Murmansk run??

“At one stage … (the interrogator) asked me, ‘How do you feel about dying for your country’,” she told the tabloid.

I can tell you what any soldier or sailor with any GUTS would have said, you mewling little COWARD.

“As long as it’s with my hands around your scrawny little throat”

And at the end…this…this alone says it all

“He told me, ‘If you even survive this, what will you tell your family’.”

I’ll tell you what you can tell your family…what you will be telling everyone, for the rest of your miserable life.. that when called upon to stand straight and tall for your country, when duty demanded that you never give the enemy an inch….you buckled like a wet noodle and handed Iran a propaganda victory of catastrophic proportions, disgracing yourself and your uniform beyond any hope of redemption.

If you had an ounce of integrity in that yellow bellied, Fwench spirited body of yours, if you had one tiny shred of dignity left, you’d resign, hand in your uniform and spend the rest of your life atoning for your disgusting cowardice in the face of the enemy.

In the old days there was one, and only one, punishment for your craven deeds.

What will you tell your family? You can tell them this.

That when duty and country called, you did not hesitate.

You turned and ran like hell.

Comments 42 Comments »

Rather than just disappearing from this site, I thought I would at least wave goodbye. After all, even though we have our political differences, most of you are pretty decent people that I have come to know over the past few years.

Why am I leaving?

Frankly, I am growing tired of politics. I grow weary of the talking past one another, and the constant need to keep score.

I have other interests in my life that I have been neglecting. I want to stop and smell the roses, not dig through the septic tank to find the nastiness just so I have something to talk about. It isn’t a “Left” or “Right”, or an “us” or “them” thing. It’s that I have spent a lot of my time looking at the negatives. If you keep looking for negatives, you will always find them, regardless of what “side” you are on.

I need to pursue some positive aspects in my life right now. It’s just me.

Does this mean I will stay away forever? Probably not. It just means I plan on staying away for now — until such a time when I choose to come back.

I will still be available for the technical things here. If you have login problems or the site goes south, feel free to email me and I will fix you up as I’ve always have.

I might drop in from time-to-time in the Instant Bark to chat a bit, but as far as participation in the threads on this site, consider me on an extended vacation. A sabbatical, if you will.

I have some other reasons, but they are too personal to talk about right now. If and when the time ever comes for me to talk about them, I will. But I don’t see that happening any time soon.

I wanted to let you know because I felt it would be rude if I just walked away without so much as a reason for doing so. I will still be here in the background, just not out in the open any longer.

Comments 40 Comments »