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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Archive for Democrat Arses
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Archive for the “Democrat Arses” Category

…but the rest of you can read it as well. Perchance you can direct a few liberal morons to it or make a slideshow that even they ought to be able to understand. Just don’t use big words. Words with more than two syllables, I mean.

Afterwards, the correct response to questions will be to throw the offender off a tall building. Keep the gene pool clean and all that.

Comments 9 Comments »

Meanwhile, Congress is busy extending the FISA nonsense that led to the search for Alex Jimenez being pointlessly delayed for 10 hours while the hajis were sharpening the scimitars.

The only surprise here is that the Dem Cong didn’t try to attach an amendment requiring our intel people to also inform the terrorists ahead of operations that we were on to them by using the words “we’re going to close our eyes and count to a hundred, and then it’s ‘ready or not, here we come’.”

Comments 6 Comments »

Just when you think that you’ve heard every “argument” by a defense lawyer asking a judge to toss out a cut ‘n’ dried case, along comes William “Chocolate City’s Ice Cream Man” Jefferson and his comedy writer lawyer come up with one that makes even his namesake’s, Slick Willie of the Bent Dick’s™I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Mizz Blewinski.” defense, seem almost Aristotelian.

ALEXANDRIA, Va. (AP) — A Louisiana congressman caught on tape accepting a $100,000 cash payment…

First off, since his party affiliation wasn’t mentioned within the first three words of the article, we can be assured that he’s NOT a Republican…

…should not have been charged with bribery because technically, such an act is closer to influence peddling than bribery, defense lawyers argued Friday.

Go on and laugh. We’ll wait for you to catch your breath…

Lawyers for Democratic Rep. William Jefferson made no admission that Jefferson engaged in improper conduct. But defense attorney Amy Jackson argued that even if the government’s allegations are true, they do not constitute bribery under federal law.

Uh-huh. And Rep. Jefferson vigorously defended Randy “Duke” Cunningham during his “influencing troubles“, didn’t he?

“We think using influence is not a bribe,” Jackson told U.S. District Judge T.S. Ellis III in seeking to have some of the charges dismissed.

Stop it! You’re KILLING us, here!

“No, no, he’s not dead, he’s, he’s restin’!”

Prosecutors scoffed at the argument, and Ellis seemed skeptical. He offered several hypothetical situations that he likened to the conduct alleged in Jefferson’s case and questioned whether such situations did not amount to bribery.

That’s “judicial politeness” for “You’re out of your fucking MIND if you think I’m going to fall for THAT steaming pile of bovine excrement!

Or, in Pythonese: “Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.”
Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 65 Comments »

Just got this from the DNC in my inbox:

Dear Emperor,

Our organizing plan for 2008 has one critical component: you.

OK, it’s official: The DemCong are toast. If I’m their “one critical component”, then their entire campaign is in critical condition.

Next month, we’re asking you — and we’re relying on you —

This is going to hurt a bit, I can tell you right now.

to stand up and take ownership of your own neighborhood.

What nonsense is this? Which part of “Emperor” did you not understand? It was in the salutation you wrote yourselves, after all. “Take ownership?”

“We’ll ask him, but we don’t think he’ll be very keen. You see, he’s already got one!”

It’s a key part of our 50-State Strategy, and the cornerstone of our plan for Democratic victory in 2008.

On Saturday, November 3rd we need you to host your friends and neighbors for the first national organizing event of the Presidential race — months ahead of the Republicans, and a year before we elect a Democratic president.

Why be so timid? Why not start hosting parties a full decade before elections? That way we’ll be sure that not even the kids of those participating will remember what it was all about.

You’ll get together, learn the plan, pledge your leadership, and then get started.

We aren’t going to play catch-up in 2008. We can’t afford to.

Then get off your incumbent derrieres, extract your thumbs from your recti and get to work, why don’t you? Unless, of course, you’re offering to pay for the party as well, in which case I’m all for it. Let’s PARTY! You didn’t mention any specific candidate, did you? No, you didn’t. Alllllrighty then.

Our organizers have already set up hundreds of events across the country. You can see if there’s one in your neighborhood or plan your own right here:

http://www.dumbassdonks.org/ComeCrashOurParty

Could we have the GPS coords as well? Please? Just because?

We’re ready to get our ground game moving, but we have a small problem: we don’t have a name for the event yet.

We’ve had meetings, sent emails, had passing conversations about it, but we’re still stuck.

…on Stupid™. Yes, we already knew that. So you want me to come up with a name for this party as well. This party that I’m supposed to plan, arrange, pay for and host for you? Gee, with deals as sweet as yours, it’s a bloody mystery that the DemCong doesn’t have members numbered in the billions already. It goes a long way toward explaining why the average IQ among your voter base tends to hover somewhere south of room temperature, though.

We’ve had the “National Organizing Kickoff” and the “50 State Canvass.” We’ve also had a couple of “Democratic Reunion” events. Right now we’re just generically calling it the “year out event.”

If you’re the cornerstone of our 2008 ground game, we figured we’d ask for your ideas on a name for the kickoff event. After all, campaigns and organizations are already asking you for everything from a campaign theme song to a bumper sticker slogan.

So, any ideas?

Sure.

How about the “Stalinist Revival Tour of ‘07?”

“100 Million Dead Was a Fluke. Let’s Try it Again?”

Actually, simply requiring all attendees to wear a simple cardboard sign on their backs saying “Kick Me, I’m a Retard!” would suffice, methinks. Simple, accurate and to the point, not to mention that you can save a lot on overhead by requiring them to print their own. Or at the very least pay somebody to do it for them. Microsoft Word™ might be a bit too complicated for them, as you guys found out when you tried to make those fake but accurate memos for Dan Rather’s 15 Minutes of Imbecility.

Please let me know what you think.

Very sincerely,

Misha I

Comments 46 Comments »

Turns out that the Frost family and their 12-year-old kid, Graeme, aren’t quite as destitute as the Dem Cong claimed when they trotted out the kid to complain about the Evil Right Wing Death Beasts killing S-CHIP.

Imagine our surprise. It’s almost reminiscent of the time the Hildebeest used a couple of child abusers to promote her HellCare Reform back in ‘94. Almost, since there are no signs that Graeme is abused by anybody but the Dem Cong.

Of course, now the Dem Cong and their lickspittles are outraged, OUTRAGED that anybody would dare to factcheck their little propaganda ploy. The Evil Right Wingers are attacking The Childreeeennnnn™, don’t you know?

Here’s a hint, Dem Cong scumbuckets: Nobody would have to factcheck your pre-teen healthcare experts if you’d quit using the poor children as human shields.

Your friends and allies in Anbar should have told you by now that that tactic tends to backfire.

Badly.

UPDATE:
Just because we can:

Comments 23 Comments »

Scratch a liberal, find a fascist.

Comments 21 Comments »

We just got a call from Australia the other day from LC Brendan, telling me that I might want to make sure that I still had some sparkly in the fridge, because he had some excellent news to share with me:

SAN DIEGO (AP) — An investigating officer has recommended that the Marine at the center of the biggest prosecution of U.S. troops in the Iraq war should not stand trial on murder charges, a defense attorney said Thursday.

Staff Sgt. Frank Wuterich, 27, of Meriden, Conn., is charged with the unpremeditated murder of 17 Iraqis in Haditha in 2005. The former squad leader allegedly directed his Marines in an assault that left 24 men, women and children dead.

I wish I could say that I were surprised by this development, but I really can’t. From day one or, at the very least, from the time that LCs and IBs Kit and Heidi were kind enough to share what they’d learned with me (which was a lot. They’ve both been working their arses off on this whole bogus Stalinist show trial), I knew that the whole case was rotten.

It came to be at a time when the MSM were publishing frivolous and unsubstantiated claims of abuses and crimes by our troops on a daily basis, it relied almost entirely upon wildly contradictory eyewitness testimonies from, shall we say, sources with dubious affiliations and loyalties, the prosecution was stonewalling any attempts by the defense counsel to examine the evidence etc. etc., and all that coupled with an obvious need on the part of the Administration to “prove to the world” how Good We Are™, even if it meant stringing up a few innocents in a blatant human sacrifice ritual made me reach the conclusion that something stunk to high heavens here and that the whole “case” would fall apart.

If justice worked, that is, which was my only real worry. Particularly as the charges fell apart and were thrown out one by one, leaving the Stalinists on the prosecution team with only one scalp to hunt for, that of SSGT Wuterich. I know how desperate coyotes will get when they’re starving and rapidly running out of prospective dinners, so I was a bit worried that they’d end up getting him as a consolation prize, justice be damned.

Looks like that’s not going to be the case, provided that the Corps follows recommendations, of course. However, even if they DO follow this recommendation, SSGT Wuterich isn’t quite out of the woods yet:

Lt. Col. Paul Ware recommended that Wuterich should be tried for the lesser offense of negligent homicide in the deaths of five children and two women, said Neal Puckett, Wuterich’s attorney.

This too is bullshit. He shouldn’t be charged with a damn thing. Furthermore, the Corps owe him AND the rest of the innocently accused one HECK of a compensation package for dragging them and their families through this nightmare. Lives and reputations have been destroyed, finances wiped out and families torn to shreds because of this desperate attempt to create a blood sacrifice to World Opinion™, and somebody needs to fucking pay for that. Not that any amount of compensation can fully restore what has been done to these servicemen, the time wasted alone is time they’ll never have back, but in order to teach the prosecution vultures a lesson and maybe make them think twice in the future before they whip out the knives and start leading their human sacrifices to the altar.

And MOST of all, Jack Murthafucker needs to be strung up from the nearest utility post, figuratively speaking, if we can find one strong enough to support his bloated, corrupt, slandering carcass.

How about those “cold-blooded killers” NOW, Murthafucker, you buddy-fucking, honorless, worthless waste of DNA?

What goes around comes around, Jack. COUNT on it. Not only have you done immeasurable damage to the reputation of those innocents; your ridiculous, unsubstantiated shameful comments have further encouraged our enemies, enemies responsible for the killing of our countrymen. Their blood is on YOUR paws, MAGGOT! “Aid and comfort”, anyone?

Murthafucker

Comments 92 Comments »

Nope. They’re not anti-American or anything…

NEW YORK — Nearly one out of every five Democrats thinks the world will be better off if America loses the war in Iraq, according to the FOX News Opinion Dynamics Poll released Thursday. (Emphasis mine—B.)

And another 20% “Aren’t sure.

Anything to ensure that they’re fatalistic, treasonous worldview isn’t proven wrong and their attempts to gain a stranglehold on power aren’t shattered by an Eeeevil Rethuglican™ president successfully leading a coalition in helping the Iraqis form a free and stable society in the Middle East.

Let’s see how they try and spin their way out of this one… (We should tap into their perpetual spinning to solve the world’s energy “crisis”.)

F.E.T.E.

Comments 42 Comments »

Clinton assails Bush’s ‘war on science’

Why yes, we did notice that RoveBushMcHitler are indeed carrying out a war on science, just last week my Imperial Correspondent’s spy network reported that the administration is working on a draft proposal to rescind gravity and lock-up those pesky Globull Worming Twoofers.

Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton cited frustrated scientists and a comedian Thursday as she assailed President Bush’s record on scientific study and pledged to rescind his restrictions on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research.

Didn’t we already settle this issue? If embryonic stem cell research had any possibility whatsoever of a significant medical breakthrough the private sector would have hundreds of millions invested in it. It doesn’t. Conclusion….it’s a dead-end for now.

The presidential candidate also said she would bar political appointees from altering or removing scientific conclusions from government research without a legitimate reason for doing so.

No indeedy, we can’t have people actually attempting to revise and/or correct poorly conducted, biased research. It’s much better to spend another umpteen million (or so) to do another study. Notably absent is what exactly constitutes government research? Papers published directly by a federal agency or funded by the government?

“The Bush administration has declared war on science,” the New York senator said. “When I am president, scientific integrity will not be the exception it will be the rule.”

Her address to the Carnegie Institution for Science was a preview of what she said would be more detailed proposals in coming weeks on energy and environmental issues.

Gee whiz and here I thought the Air Force has made some incredible breakthroughs in missile defense systems, the human genome project is making huge advances in medicine. Whoda thunk Noodlespine was making war on those scientific advances?

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 45 Comments »

Bomber Wesley, the utter failure of a candidate you might remember from a few elections ago, wearing home-knit sweaters, flipping pancakes and daring anybody to question his patriotism, has joined the Anti-Rush Crusade, and we’re just about to die from laughing here.

In a blog to the Huffington Post, former NATO Supreme Commander Wesley Clark…

We’ll just leave that bit up there for a while for you to cherish. Former NATO Supreme Commander, now unknown Puffington Host blogger… Damn, with a CV like that, the sky’s truly the limit. Maybe for his next career move, he’ll be handing out cheap cologne in the mens’ room at the nearest gay bar.

Not that we claim to have ever been Supreme Commander of NATO or even a presidential candidate, nor do we ever expect to achieve either, but at least we can modestly brag that all of our career moves have been in the upwards direction. One thing we know for sure is that we’ll be dead and buried before we end up blogging for the Blatherton Toast and, even if the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune should force us to sink that low, we sure as Hell wouldn’t be bragging about it. We wouldn’t even mention it to anybody.

…called for Congress to immediately take steps to remove conservative radio personality Rush Limbaugh from Armed Forces Radio.

Somebody calling for Congress to forcibly remove somebody they don’t agree with from the radio? And this tinpot dictator wannabe wanted to be President?

Last week, Rush Limbaugh labeled any American soldier who supports an end to the war in Iraq as “phony,” noted Clark.

The rest of us note that Wessie is about as impressive in the reading comprehension department (transcripts are widely available) as he ever was as a Supreme Commander, although we’re sure that the title “Supreme Commander” suits him a lot better than the title of “President.” The voters, by the way, seemed to agree.

“We challenged Limbaugh through an email campaign to invite VoteVets.org’s Jon Soltz to his show and repeat these same insults to an Iraq war veteran’s face. Over 10,000 people responded and emailed Rush — but to our disappointment, he has refused to respond to our request.

We’re still waiting for your honey-boy Harry Reid to respond to Rush’s invite to come on the show and call him “unpatriotic” to his face. We can play this game all year long, but the fact remains that Rush issued the challenge first. And why the Heck would Rush even want to call Whazzisface (who, by the way, thinks that the only soldiers allowed to speak out in uniform are the ones that agree with himself) a “phony soldier” to his face? Rush wasn’t talking about Whazzisface. The mere fact that we have mentioned that clown now means that we’ll have to go dip our fingers in Lysol and gargle Listerine for an hour.

“It’s time to put real pressure on Rush Limbaugh. His show is broadcast on Armed Forces Radio, and this time we are going to go straight to the lifeblood of Rush’s show — Congress.

Not to burst your bubble here, high-altitude random bombing boy, but somehow we don’t think that Armed Forces Radio is Rush’s “lifeblood.” We could be wrong, but we’re reasonably sure that Rush would be more than capable of scraping by with his “minor” gig on Clear Channel alone. But we find it quite enlightening that a “patriotic American” such as yourself is so hungry for the lifeblood of people you don’t like. Not to mention your strangely un-American call for Congress to prohibit free speech that you don’t agree with. Do the words “Congress shall make no law…” even mean anything to you, Mr. former candidate for the Presidency, now obscure blogger on the Billabong Boast?

Congress has the power to remove Rush Limbaugh from Armed Forces Radio, and it won’t be as easy for elected officials to ignore our call.”

Unless they happen to have read the Constitution, that is.

Clark further decried the fact that Republicans in Congress have drafted a resolution supporting Rush Limbaugh, “commending [his] relentless efforts to build and maintain troop morale through worldwide radio broadcasts and personal visits to conflict regions.”

Absolutely! How the fuck dare they commend a man for encouraging our troops in a time of war, entertaining them and lifting their spirits and traveling all over the world to do so in person while the DemCong have done so much for our country visiting with every shitcan terrorist dictator on the planet? It is OUTRAGEOUS!

“That’s outrageous,” concluded Clark. “Rush Limbaugh’s ‘phony soldiers’ comment should not be commended — it should be condemned. And it’s time to tell Congress to act swiftly to hold Rush Limbaugh accountable.”

One question, Wessie: How on Earth did you end up fighting against Milosevic? Was your Serbian not good enough?

Comments 56 Comments »