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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Archive for 24
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Archive for the “24” Category

Even CAIR was not ready for THIS….. :)

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 19 Comments »

Because “24″ is apparently going to go to depths where no other show with actual viewers has gone before (link thanks to Sir Christopher):

From “An Inconvenient Truth” to popularizing the Prius, Hollywood has helped lead the way on some environmental issues. One of the latest initiatives: Cool Change, Fox’s company-wide program to reduce the network’s impact on global warming. As part of that effort, the seventh season of “24″ will take steps to reduce and offset the carbon emissions from the show’s production, with the goal of having the season finale be entirely carbon-neutral.

And viewer-neutral as well, in that nobody of its ever dwindling target demographic are likely to bother watching it in the first place.

It may sound like a publicity stunt,

Gee, ya think?

but Fox spokesman Chris Anderson says the network isn’t after bigger ratings.

Gave up on that when you handed over script-writing duties to MorOn.org and CAIR, didn’t you?

“We are publicizing ’24’s’ commitment to climate change for two reasons and two reasons only: to inspire the public to take global warming seriously and hopefully to motivate other studios to make changes to their production practices as well,” he says.

Wouldn’t that require actual viewers in order to work, or are you going to strap innocent victims to chairs and give them the full “A Clockwork Orange” Special™?

The “24″ page at Fox.com now features energy conservation tips and a public service announcement about global warming featuring Kiefer Sutherland;

Oh great. Does it have special appearances by the Goreacle™ and His Holy Slide Show™ too?

Here’s an idea, you mongoloid show manglers: How about focusing on — I don’t know — writing a script that is actually worth watching and leave the sanctimonious, PC, interest group-peddling bullcrap to the likes of Kos and the Kostards?

more information will be posted when the show airs in January. Plus, climate change will be incorporated into the series’ plot (which just might scare some viewers into taking action).

It has already “scared” this particular viewer into keeping the TV far away from FOX whenever your new “eco-friendly” version of “24″ happens to be on. But hey, I’m sure that watching Jack Bauer driving around a Pious, chasing Enemies of Gaia and hissing “turn off the engine on that SUV! There is no TIME!” every five minutes will be a huge hit.

With the subretarded.

Oh, bother… It’s not like I’m going to be watching anyway, particularly not after this load of unadulterated twittishness.

Comments 54 Comments »

At CTU, Ming’s Mercs are still holding up everybody as we head into yet another recap of the Ongoing Adventures of Jack and the Recycling Writer Team:

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Comments 10 Comments »

Let’s see… What tried and true plot devices can we recycle this week? Well, we’re sure that the fine writers in Joel Surnow’s stable will come up with something…

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Comments 16 Comments »

Welcome to another day of endless 24 recapping, trying desperately to improve on the writers’ sloppy work by making the show appear deliberately funny. Which, considering the levels of unintentional humor we’re up against here, is really hard work indeed.

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Comments 6 Comments »

Last week, Jack left Little Lord Fauntleroy in the middle of nowhere on his way to rescue St Audrey of the Nose from the clutches of the Evil Emperor Ming. As this week’s episode of “24″ opens, poor Fauntleroy is still stuck there, trying to flag down a car by standing in the middle of a highway in the middle of the night, waving his arms around and yelling like a banshee.

Now, we don’t know about the drivers in L.A., but you try that little stunt on the 75 around here and you’ll soon find yourself turned into the hood ornament of a Ford 250. Unless we see you standing there in your black outfit at an ungodly hour, of course. In that case, we’ll shoot you instead.

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Comments 6 Comments »

And now, for some much-needed levity or, failing that, several hundred paragraphs of utter boredom as we wade through yet another recap of 24, this one so late that it almost didn’t get posted before the next episode. What can I say? More important things intervened…

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Comments 6 Comments »

This episode of 24 actually managed to do something that the show hasn’t managed since, well, since CAIR and MoveOn.org took over script-writing duties, but I shan’t spoil the fun by letting you know just yet. Instead, let’s dive into another silly recap:

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Comments 8 Comments »

…and so, after having been threatened with things too horrid to mention if I don’t continue the series, I dive into one of the most impossible tasks I’ve ever faced: Making the silliest script in the world look even more ludicrous. But hey, Misha is my name and silly is my game. Or something.

The task isn’t made easier by the fact that the screenwriters seem to have completely lost their mind in this episode, but it does help me feel a certain empathy for them, having lost my own many years ago. I swear, it’s like the writers of this episode were all playing that game where everybody writes, say, ten paragraphs, then fold up the paper so that only the last paragraph is visible and hand on the paper to the next one in line.

Which, at the very least, makes for unpredictable results, something that has been sorely lacking in the previous episodes this season. Plus, Jack gets some killing done and there’s an axe in there too. All in all, not bad. But let’s get on with the show:

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Comments 20 Comments »

In this week’s episode, we start out by learning, once again, that Fayed the terrorist is nothing but a helpless innocent Muslim who can do nothing without the help of the REAL mastermind, Gredenko the Evil White Russian Supremacist (because Muslims never committed any acts of terrorism in the entire history of the world, of course), that Gredenko himself is helpless without the assistance of an autistic brother of a security guard, that Nadia the Token Arab Chick Mole is as innocent as the day is long (because Muslims never committed any acts of terrorism in the entire history of the world, of course) and that President Allstate Jr, who was until recently in an induced coma because he’d, at best, end up as a brain-damaged vegetable if he wasn’t kept in it, wakes up like Lazarus at the very last moment to prevent the retaliatory strike against Fayed and Assad’s home country (because Muslims never committed any acts of terrorism in the entire history of the world, of course), none the worse for wear and prepared to take on the world.

I’m done.

Let somebody else do the recaps of this CAIR propaganda piece from now on, because I can’t stand watching that terrorist cock-sucking show anymore.

If they’d at least broadcast it in the original Arabic, then it’d have some novelty value.

As it is, they should tell al-Jazeera to stick to blood libels, because they suck donkey’s dick when it comes to writing TV shows.

The End.

***UPDATE:*** Oh what the Hell… Since tradewind asks so nicely in the comments, here we go. But let me warn you: There is precious little I can do to make last night’s episode sound any more retardedly absurd, even with my considerable talents, so if anything in the following makes you go “no WAY, that’s TOO much artistic license, Emperor”, chances are that I’m just quoting the script verbatim. Yes, it’s THAT ridiculous…

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Comments 47 Comments »