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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Archive for Journaljizzm
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Archive for the “Journaljizzm” Category

Another Great Moment in Journaljizzm, as an inanimate object is given free will and the ability to fire itself while the ClueFucked Journalijizzmer sits around scratching his pointed noggin (via IB Classical Values):

Yesterday afternoon, Nahdirah Jaamar dropped by a rowhouse on Salford Street to pick up her younger brother and ran into her 4-year-old cousin, Dyshon Boyd, a boisterous toddler that family members called “Pooh Bear.”

Dyshon gave Jaamar, 15, a big hug and a kiss, and ran off.

Roughly a half-hour later, the 4-year-old lay dying from an apparently self-inflicted bullet wound, another young victim of Philadelphia’s gun epidemic.

“Gun Epidemic?”

Try “Parental Stupidity Epidemic”, and couple it with “Journalistic ClueTardedness Epidemic” while you’re at it.

“Oh NOES! We’ve become infected by feral guns roaming the street, committing random acts of mayhem!”

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 69 Comments »

LC & IB Vulcanrider came across an article demonstrating the continued, clueless, hopeless, and IQ lowering ignorance of what passes as journalism these days. Being the fine upstanding Rottie and nasty bastard he is, he couldn’t resist a most righteous clue-batting of the first order.

More Journalistic Stupidity On Display posted over at the Cigar Intelligence Agency.

The topic, Motorcycles and why ‘Wendy’ just doesn’t see why people actually enjoying riding them.

What follows is a stunning display of the epitome of clue-bereft journalism today and to think it gets paid for scrawling those screeds.

Morons

Check all the links to see where he’s coming from too.

Comments 16 Comments »

Well, well, well, that didn’t take long.

The news had hardly broken that lives were saved in Colorado thanks to a brave, private citizen armed with a legal weapon before the impeccably credentialed and unbiased “journalists” of the MSM threw away their planned 14-installment eulogy for the poor misunderstood goblin and started devoting time to sliming the heroine instead:

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (AP) - The security guard being credited with shooting the gunman responsible for the killings at a church and missionary training center in Colorado had been fired as a police officer in Minneapolis.

Minneapolis police say Jeanne Assam worked for that city’s department from 1993 to 1997, but was fired for lying during an internal investigation.

At least we know that the MSMidiots are capable of doing research. When it comes to digging out information in order to vilify and question a bona fide hero, that is. When that is what is at stake, they can dig 10 years back in order to find out that the Evil Private Citizen had lied. About what? Oh, but that’s the kicker:

The president of the Police Officers Federation of Minneapolis says police were investigating a complaint that Assam swore at a bus driver while she was handling an incident on a city bus. He says Assam denied that she swore at the driver, but her actions were caught on tape.

Oh. My. G-D!!!!!1!!!one!!!11!

She cussed! At a BUS DRIVER! What a psycho! What a mentally unstable MANIAC! What a, a, MONSTER! BURN HER!

Yep. The Associated (with terrorists) Press can dedicate all manner of resources to finding out that an upstanding citizen credited with saving an untold number of lies fibbed about cussing at a bus driver 10 fucking years ago, but when it comes to doing even the most basic of fact checking on their latest terrorist stringer provided fable out of the Middle East… Not so much.

Rope. Tree. Journalist.
Some assembly required.

Comments 53 Comments »

Grab a cooler full of adult beverages and head on over to Iowahawk’s place for one of the longest and, more importantly, funniest rectum shreddings of TNR and their Fuckheaded Fabulist™, Scott Beauchamp, you will ever read.

Here’s an excerpt:

Regardless, the doubts about “Shock Troops” resonated. All over the blogosphere, people who presented themselves as “experts” and “veterans” and claimed that the events described in the piece could never have happened. Some of these assertions were vague and meaningless– “They are not ‘Shock Troops.’ They are our best and bravest,” Kristol wrote–as if our soldiers were dainty plaster saints, immune from the traumas of wacky practical jokes of war. One wonders if Kristol has actually read the IMDB film reviews of Redacted, let alone actual seen it. But others were more specific and troubling. Denizens of FOB Falcon insisted that they had never seen a woman who matched Thomas’s description; some familiar with the Bradley asserted that it couldn’t be maneuvered into a 90 mph four-wheel drift, or pimped out with 22″ spinners, or setup with hydros to hop on stray dogs.

Remember to have plenty of refreshments on hand, but make damn sure that you wrap your monitor in SpewProof® brand plastic wrap before you go over and start reading.

F.E.T.E.

Comments 22 Comments »

Sometimes we hate being right, and this is one of those times.

When the terrible news broke about the horror at the Westroads Mall in Omaha, Nebraska, our second thought (our first thought was a combination of sheer horror and prayers to G-d for comfort and strength to the loved ones of the victims) was “we’re willing to bet that this is yet another one of those ’subhuman beast somehow, mysteriously ignores ‘gun free zones’ signs and goes to town on innocent victims in what amounts to a ‘free fire zone’ cases.”

We also had a pretty solid feeling that the MSMidiots would somehow, mysteriously, fail to report on that “tiny” fact. Well guess what? We were right. Again:

The horrible tragedy at the Westroads Mall in Omaha, Neb. received a lot of attention Wednesday and Thursday. It should have. Eight people were killed, and five were wounded.

A Google news search using the phrase “Omaha Mall Shooting” finds an incredible 2,794 news stories worldwide for the last day. From India and Taiwan to Britain and Austria, there are probably few people in the world who haven’t heard about this tragedy.

But despite the massive news coverage, none of the media coverage, at least by 10 a.m. Thursday, mentioned this central fact: Yet another attack occurred in a gun-free zone.

Gee, we wonder why? They certainly had everything else covered, didn’t they? Within hours they breathlessly reported everything about the psycho bastard: His history as a “troubled youth”, the make and model of his weapon, the contents of his suicide note, everything except for his shoe size. But somehow, inexplicably, they failed to notice that yet another mass murder committed with a gun was committed in a “gun free zone.”

Which is, by the way, about as “professional” as writing 15 articles about a “mysterious plane crash” and not once mentioning that the engines had fallen off or that the plane hadn’t been refueled prior to take-off.

If the MSM journaljizzmers with their impeccable credentials and googly-umpteen layers of rigorously fact-checking editors fail to notice the signs plastered all over the mall, is it any wonder that a psychopath criminal misses them too? The poor guy probably wasn’t aware that he was breaking the law. If only he’d seen the signs, he would surely have had second thoughts and decided not to go murder eight innocent people. After all, bringing a gun to a “gun free zone” is a CRIME, right? And we all know that if there’s ONE thing that cold-blooded, heartless, psychopathic murderers respect, it’s the law.

Back here in the real world, if you do some basic Google research (we wouldn’t expect anybody to match the flawless in-depth research done by the Einsteins of the MSM. They’re so much better than we are, after all), you’ll find that every single massacre like this one that has been committed since some gummint imbecile dreamed up “gun free zones” has been committed in one. Every. Single. One.

If we were the scientifically minded type, we might almost think that there’s some sort of correlation here. But that would be ridiculous, because surely The Deciders™ in the MSM would have noticed and reported on that, if that were the case. Must be nothing but a coinky-dink.

Now, of course, the thing that you’re bound to get thrown in your face if you suggest that maybe Open Season on Innocents, er Victims Guaranteed to be Defenseless, er Gun Free Zone signs aren’t all that safe and therefore not much of a good idea (except from the criminal’s point of view, of course), is that “nobody would’ve been able to do anything anyways, even if they had been carrying, because those things just happen too fast.”

Which isn’t a completely astoundingly asinine and imbecilic argument. Because yes, Virginia, they can happen even in areas where everybody and their cousins thrice removed are carrying. Yet, somehow, they don’t seem to happen there, do they?

The civic value of law-abiding citizens bearing arms isn’t in “we need somebody there to return fire”, although that certainly is a bonus if the situation drags out for a while. It’s in deterrence. Because somebody in such a place just might be carrying, and they just might be right next to you when you pull your rifle out of your duffel bag, or whichever method you’ve decided to use in your sick, deranged, criminal mind. And then your “blaze of glory” will suddenly turn into a hollowpoint unceremoniously planted between your beady, piggy eyes before you even get a chance to take aim.

Remember: Most of those notorious nutcases want to be noticed, they long for their deaths to “mean something.” If there’s one thing they don’t want, it’s to be executed on the spot by a law-abiding, gun-toting civilian like the common criminals that they are. The slime that committed the Omaha atrocity ended his suicide note with “now I’ll be famous.” (See what good that’s going to do you in Hell, you swine). And if you don’t believe us, we invite you to look past incidents up, because even if you don’t believe that murderers prefer “Gun Free” zones, the criminals certainly seem to.

And, of course, in addition to pure deterrence, allowing law-abiding gun owners to carry adds greatly to the probability that one is in the immediate vicinity of the goblin when he decides to carry out the atrocity.

It’s not a guarantee, nothing but death, taxes and corruption in politicians is guaranteed, but neither is locking all the doors and windows in your house a guarantee against burglary. That doesn’t mean that you’re going to leave them all open in the future, does it? Think about it.

We pray that Almighty G-d may embrace the ones left behind and grant them peace, strength and comfort, and we pray that the imbecilic “gun free zone” laws are repealed as soon as possible.

Before they and the politicians who embrace them claim any more innocent victims.

Comments 57 Comments »

And the MSM, wholly owned subsidiary of the DNC, continue their planting campaign during the debates. Strangely, almost all of CNN’s “undecided, concerned voters asking critical questions” seem to be avowed Democrat activists.

Something that can be found out by anybody with two minutes and knowledge of that mysterious device called “Google”, but is apparently too hideously arcane and complex for the impeccably credentialed journaljizzmers and their nine thousand, six hundred and umpty-nine layers of editors and researchers.

It must be CNN’s concern over glowbullshit wormening, because with all of those plants they’re making, they have made enough offsets to run a coal-fired megaplant for about nineteen centuries already.

Bias? What bias?

Comments 42 Comments »

…4.5% growth in GDP is a “recession.”

At least according to the MSMidiots, inasmuch as they’re willing to even talk about the second-highest quarterly growth since Q2 of 2000.

Mustn’t disturb the narrative, don’t you know? We’re in THE WORST ECONOMY SINCE HOOVER!!!!1!!!1ONE!!!!

This, of course, coming hard on the heels of a record-breaking sales record for Black Friday which, unsurprisingly, also went almost unmentioned.

With all of the concerted effort that the “unbiased” media has put into downplaying the economy and convincing everybody that we’re about five minutes away from long lines at the soup kitchen over the last seven years, one can only wonder how well the economy might have been doing if it hadn’t been for the Journaljizzmers putting political preference over the welfare of American citizens.

Oh, and “Women, Minorities Hardest Hit.”

Had to put that in there, since the media clowns managed to forget for once.

Thatisall.

Comments 39 Comments »

We mean, how else are we to interpret a hed like “Minorities Hit Hardest By U.S. Housing Crisis” for a story about a black guy who made a boneheaded decision? They must be suggesting that minorities are more boneheaded than other people, then. Oh well, one more reason to detest al-Roto-Reuters.

Listen, Mr. Horribly Discriminated Against Minority, it’s quite fucking simple. So simple, in fact, that His Majesty managed to grasp the concept in his first year of Economics, but let’s make it even more simple by dividing every mortgage in the world into Fixed Rate (FRM) or Adjustable Rate (ARM) ones only: Fixed rate means that, no matter what the interest rate does over the next 30 years, you’ll pay the same every month. Clearly, this makes it a really, really fucking dumb idea to get one of those if interest rates are at an all-time high, because ten years from now, when everybody else is getting nice, low-interest loans, you’re still stuck paying an arm and a leg. (We’ll cover refinancing and other issues in an Advanced Class. Suffice it to say that setting yourself up with a loan that you ought to know that you need to refi soon is about as dumb as anything I’ve ever heard of).

Conversely, which applies to your case of mental retardation, Adjustable Rate means that you’ll pay whatever the interest rate will be at any given point in the future. If it goes up, you pay more, if it goes down, you pay less. Simple, huh? Alright, then. This obviously means that it’ll be fucking daft to get one of those if interest rates are really bloody low, since you’ll likely be paying an arm and a leg while all of those who got FRMs are still paying peanuts (compared to you).

Now look at current interest rates, dumbass. Do they look like they’re going to drop substantially in the future? Not unless the Fed digs out the shovels and starts paying people to lend money from them, they bloody well won’t.

So why the FUCK did you sign an ARM when you already acknowledge that you were looking for an FRM? “Because you felt pressured into it by your broker?” What? He was holding a fucking .50 cal S&W to your head? Giving you the Evil Eye? Threatening to rape your family unless you signed?

Dumbfucked dumbass doodlebrain.

UPDATE: Our alert readers (more alert than we are, obviously) point out another interesting detail from the article: The dumbass in question is an executive assistant at… *drumroll* a BANK. That’s right. An executive assistant at a BANK who doesn’t understand what an ARM is.

Holy jumping Jehosaphat on a hydrogen-powered pogo stick, Batman! We too want to know which bank pity-fucked him with a job so that we can run, not walk away from it if, Heaven forbid, it turns out we have money in it.

Comments 22 Comments »

Oh, and how about these reporters getting a crash course in what “private property” really means?

What makes it truly hilarious (even if it IS as predictable as day following night), is the utterly cluefucked response from the journaljizzmers and their arrogant sense of entitlement.

We particularly love the airhead studio bimbo advising the trespassing reporter on the scene to “not let him (the property owner, presumably) touch you, because that would be assault.”

No, you clue-castrated clusterfuck, that would be “legal eviction of trespassers from private property.”

The moment you’re put on notice that you’re on private property and told to leave, your best course of action is to start vacating the premises without undue delay, because from then on you’re TRESPASSING, you bovine butt-pimple. And trust us, at least around these here parts you wouldn’t LIKE what might legally happen to trespassers who refuse to leave.

Comments 27 Comments »

Not that we give two shits about the Dhimmicrat “debates”, but we think that Hot Air’s expose of the “random” questioners at the last one is so brilliant that it deserves a link.

Next, they’ll be dressing themselves up in costumes and asking “deep” questions of themselves.

Which would actually be fun to watch, but we digress…

Comments 21 Comments »