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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Archive for Geekiness
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Archive for the “Geekiness” Category

Thanks to the Imperial Spy Network, more specifically LC Dan, we learn that those pesky Rebel Scum, once again, have bitten off more than they can chew.

Of course, they’re confident that it had nothing to do with the Empire.

Keep believing that, anarchist scum, just keep on believing that…

Comments 21 Comments »

John Edwards showing the size estimate of his “My Little Dream Pony Testicles.”

Edwards’ Cabinet list includes GOP names

The inhumanity of it all…say it isn’t so, the Democraps’ first metro-sexual candidate couldn’t possibly have even a RINO in his cabinet. Don’t worry citizens of the Empire, I’m sure he’ll clarify this shortly, it was a day-dream he had whilst having his latest coiffure. He dreamt that big, bad Fred was hiding in his closet [not cabinet], right next to the year’s supply of hair-spray, waiting to shout boo !!!!

Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards carries a running list of people he might put in his Cabinet, and it includes “more than one” Republican.

Ron Paul and Olympia Snowe?

“I want to be ready for when I get sworn in,” the former North Carolina senator said between campaigns stops as he dug into a travel bag for the list.

Looking for his little dog, Toto.

“I might have it with me,” Edwards told The Associated Press. “I wouldn’t show it to you, but I could have it with me.”

Show me yours and I’ll show you mine, but I have to run home and get Elizabeth first, her’s is bigger and I still haven’t found mine anyway.

He didn’t hand over the list, nor did he commit to putting Republicans in his Cabinet.

So why in the name of Fidel’s Lice Infested Beard™, does the headline make an affirmative declaration that it does?

“No, because the test for me is not whether they’re Democratic or Republican. The test is how competent they are and whether they’re the best person for the job, and to make a decision about who’s best to choose you have to spend time talking to them,” said the 2004 Democratic vice presidential candidate.

Absolutely, you positively must be sure a potential cabinet member agrees with you on haircare and personal hygiene products. After all, the cabinet meeting restroom can only stock one variety of tampons.

Would he name a Republican vice presidential nominee?

“I don’t think so because my view about Cabinet positions is different than the vice presidency,” Edwards said. “I think the vice president needs to be someone who shares my vision for the country and that’s much more likely, obviously, to be a Democrat.”

Of course not, a republican, any republican would highlight my utter lack of testosterone.

Edwards didn’t go as far as rival Bill Richardson, who has said that as the Democratic nominee he would give voters a preview of his Cabinet before Election Day.

Only because the Village People weren’t available for a photo opportunity.

“It would have independents, Republicans and Democrats. Don’t worry, I won’t overdo the Republicans,” Richardson told a Democratic audience in July.

Richardson? Presidential Cabinet? Bill, you do know that will give you warts and make you go blind, right?

Also on Saturday, Edwards dismissed critics who question his sincerity and point to stories about his pricey hair cut, big home and hedge fund job.

They are such bruuuuthes aren’t they Johnny?

“They’re look for something to criticize about. It’s what comes with running for president. If you’re not ready to be criticized, you shouldn’t run for president,” Edwards said. “I mean, I know who I am. I know I haven’t changed at all. I’m the same person I’ve always been.”

No disagreement there at all. None. You’re still a two-bit malpractice shyster that channels dead babies and panders juries into millions of dollar punitive damages, at the cost of good doctor’s careers. A left-wing socialist, frothing moon-bat that plays every class divisive card in the book without shame, while hiding behind the skirts of your wife’s unfortunate illness for insulation.

Do us all a favor, drop out now, get yourself a nice manicure, pedicure and even some new frilly thongs from the Victoria’s Secret catalog. You’ll feel much better.

Comments 33 Comments »

Okay, so I’m enjoying a brief respite from my hectic schedule as a PC repair-type guy when a ticket comes in:

Client states that her local printer will not power on. Client states that the printer was working fine on Tuesday. She states that she has tried plugging the printer into another location but this has not worked. Please ensure that the printer is connected properly.

So, after lunch, I drive to the location.  Find the customer.

“Aw, man, no, this printer will not work at all  and I’ve tried everything and can you pleeeeeeeeze fix it…”

Ad infinitum, ad-friggin’-nauseam.

Start at the back of the printer.  Connected.  Trace the cord down to the AC power brick.  It’s not connected to the power cord.  Connect it.

Start pulling the power cord.  It’s not hooked into the wall.  Plug it in.  Printer comes on immediately.

Customer’s jaw hits the floor.  And with a straight face (and I swear to Cthulu, that was the hardest part - keeping the straight face), I say “thank you” and walk out the door back to my car.

And for this, I get paid about $45K annually. 

Comments 55 Comments »

UFO Science Key To Halting Climate Change: Former Canadian Defense Minister

A former Canadian defense minister is demanding governments worldwide disclose and use secret alien technologies obtained in alleged UFO crashes to stem climate change, a local paper said Wednesday.

He’s demanding, I tell you. Obviously he wasn’t able to get in on the IPO for Indulgences Inc. That’s going to have a pretty dramatic effect on their quarterly earnings isn’t it? He does have a point though, the one that crashed in my yard had reams of documents, when translated with my Imperial Universal Translator™ made a pretty decent batch of hot wings. Maybe the natural biological by-product of that was the sekret technology.

“I would like to see what (alien) technology there might be that could eliminate the burning of fossil fuels within a generation … that could be a way to save our planet,” Paul Hellyer, 83, told the Ottawa Citizen.

If we had the technology tomorrow, it would take a generation to complete the permits to build a base-load generating plant using a new technology. Let alone another generation (or two) of litigation to get a building permit. As a former player in the nuclear electric generation business, I speak with some authority on the night-marish process currently existing with the environmental whackos and technology development/usage.

Alien spacecrafts would have traveled vast distances to reach Earth, and so must be equipped with advanced propulsion systems or used exceptional fuels, he told the newspaper.

Such alien technologies could offer humanity alternatives to fossil fuels, he said, pointing to the enigmatic 1947 incident in Roswell, New Mexico — which has become a shrine for UFO believers — as an example of alien contact.

Roswell….again….. :wallbash_tb:

“We need to persuade governments to come clean on what they know. Some of us suspect they know quite a lot, and it might be enough to save our planet if applied quickly enough,” he said.

Unfortunately, “those” that know a lot have been abducted and are under interrogation treatment at a mental health facility near you.

Hellyer became defense minister in former prime minister Lester Pearson’s cabinet in 1963, and oversaw the controversial integration and unification of Canada’s army, air force and navy into the Canadian Forces.

And what an integration it was….the results were transmogrifying the Canadian Forces into a fighting unit with roughly the same offensive power as a Campfire Girl meeting. That said, their military today is doing a fine job playing whack-a-hajj in the WoT, in spite of it all.

He shocked Canadians in September 2005 by announcing he once saw a UFO.

Shortly after joining the “Octogenarian Canadian UFO Alternative Energy Society”.

ohhhh… Governor Joe D- How is your budget looking for psychiatric treatment? I just found you a new patient.

Comments 25 Comments »

Now that all of you have been standing in line for days to get the first beta copy of Bill Gates’ new Vista, we feel that we have to lead you to this article, brought to us courtesy of LCs Robert Huntingdon and Gary.

It deals mainly with the many and wonderful processor-hugging features that Bill and Hollywood Inc. have integrated into it in order to make sure that your computing experience is as painful and annoying as humanly possible, and Bill and Hollywood Inc. are only too happy to charge you an arm and a leg in return for the “favor.”

It’s long, but it seems to be well-researched, and it’s well worth reading if you’re still wondering about upgrading.

As to ourself, we’re so glad to find out that Bill has done what he could to make sure that hardware and software development is now firmly in the hands of the specialists in Beverly Hills, as opposed to the rank amateurs of nVidia, ATI, Creative etc.

That was sarcasm, by the way.

Comments 58 Comments »