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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Archive for Ecofreaks
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Archive for the “Ecofreaks” Category

…For The Children™, we suppose (Link thanks to LC James, Imperial Mercenary):

HAVING large families should be frowned upon as an environmental misdemeanour in the same way as frequent long-haul flights, driving a big car and failing to reuse plastic bags, says a report to be published today by a green think tank.

Did you feel a disturbance in the Force, a tremor as if the very fabric of time and space was being pounded with planet-sized jackhammers? Let that be a lesson to you all about the dangers of using Fujita-6 Class Oxymorons like “green think tank.”

The paper by the Optimum Population Trust will say that if couples had two children instead of three they could cut their family’s carbon dioxide output by the equivalent of 620 return flights a year between London and New York.

To think that the Imperial Heirs are the equivalent, “carbon footprint”-wise of 2,480 transatlantic flights. It makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. That’s almost as many flights as the Most Holy High Priest of Gorebecility, the Goreacle himself, makes in a whole week!

We’re proud to have done our bit to rape Mother Gaia, our only regret being that we have not yet done enough but, if we put our mind to it, we’re sure we can find a way to make her shudder in her torn panties at the merest thought of our return. Any good polar bear recipes? (Yes, we know that we have to stay away from the liver).

John Guillebaud, co-chairman of OPT and emeritus professor of family planning at University College London, said: “The effect on the planet of having one child less is an order of magnitude greater than all these other things we might do, such as switching off lights.

Which leaves eco-nuts with a bit of a dilemma, seeing as the single most effective means of birth control among Moonbats is to leave the lights on. But if the benefits of remaining without issue outweigh the benefits of darkness by that much, surely Mother Gaia won’t mind? As long as it’s a CFL bulb, of course.

“The greatest thing anyone in Britain could do to help the future of the planet would be to have one less child.”

Hey, come on, fwenchy, think outside the box, will you? Given that the life of a child is the equivalent of about 1,240 one way journeys across the Atlantic in all their kerosene-burning, Gaia-raping glory, and given that the average life span of a human is 75 years, give or take a couple, you could achieve the same positive effect on the ecosystem by bumping off two 37-year-olds. Like, say, two 37-year-old treehugging nutjobs.

Think of it as “infant carbon emissions offsets.”

Want a baby? Kill a couple of hippies and you’re cool with Mama Gaia. Not to mention that they’ll be ecstatic to sacrifice their lives for the Earth Mother AND the effect on the global economy will be negligible since they haven’t contributed to it since 1968.

The planet has a fever, and the solution is…

MORE DEAD HIPPIES!

In his latest comments, the academic says that when couples are planning a family they should be encouraged to think about the environmental consequences.

“The decision to have children should be seen as a very big one and one that should take the environment into account,” he added.

And by “environmental consequences”, we mean “full diaper smell.”

Professor Guillebaud says that, as a general guideline, couples should produce no more than two offspring.

Wonderful! Off to the turd world with you then, since pretty much all of the first world is not only at that level, but well below it.

Good luck convincing Habib, Ahmed and Mohammed that they should stop making babies.

The world’s population is expected to increase by 2.5 billion to 9.2 billion by 2050. Almost all the growth will take place in developing countries.

The population of developed nations is expected to remain unchanged and would have declined but for migration.

The British fertility rate is 1.7. The EU average is 1.5. Despite this, Professor Guillebaud says rich countries should be the most concerned about family size as their children have higher per capita carbon dioxide emissions.

So, directly after having said that “two is the limit”, he goes on to say that childlessness is primarily the responsibility of nations that have already gone below his limit. Why, that makes practically no sense at all. What a surprise.

Yes, what the world truly needs is yet more people living in mud huts, stripping forests for firewood and starving in the dark.

You first, fwenchy, you first.

Comments 31 Comments »

Thanks to LCs Jewells52 and Aubyn:

WASHINGTON - Top intelligence analysts are diving into the politically sensitive issue of climate change, but some Democrats in Congress are demanding even more.

The House Intelligence Committee approved a provision late Wednesday as part of a spy budget bill that would require the National Intelligence Council to produce its highest-level assessment — a National Intelligence Estimate — specifically on climate change.

So we’re going to strip our already underfunded intelligence gathering programs so our spooks can go spy on Mother Gaia to see what she’s up to?

Wow, that has to be the most singularly stupid thing we’ve heard of this week and, considering what comes out of the DemCong these days, that’s saying rather a lot. We were under the impression that intelligence is a rather valuable commodity, particularly during a time of war or, for that matter, it would’ve been nice to have more of prior to, say, 9/11, but obviously the DemCong don’t think it’s near as important as trying to figure out what that great, glowing ball in the sky might be scheming to do behind our backs. Inasmuch as they and their Church of the Goreacle has even acknowledged its existence, something that is far from clear at this time.

The bill, which the House could take up next week, calls on analysts to study the political, social, agricultural and economic risks associated with climate change over the next 30 years.

Republicans rejected the endeavor as an unnecessary distraction from higher priorities.

Yet the Office of the National Intelligence Director said it has begun working on the national security implications of climate change.

“The intelligence community necessarily explores a number of long-term issues that may have an effect on U.S. national security, including potential national security implication of global climate change,” spokesman Ross Feinstein said in a statement Thursday.

Oh, so they’re not going to spend scarce resources on studying the climate, they’re going to waste them on studying what as of yet unknown and quite uncertain changes might possibly mean for areas that, as far as we know, are already covered by other agencies. Beats having to do what they’re actually hired to do, we suppose.

The research, an intelligence official said, will not address the scientific foundations of global climate change scenarios. “That determination will be left up to the scientists,” said the official, who spoke on condition of anonymity about internal policy issues.

Among questions that some are asking: Will drought and weather changes create mass migrations that could threaten governments? Will U.S. military bases be affected by rising sea levels?

Wouldn’t it make sense to see if the seas are actually rising first? We mean, if that’s the only threat we’re facing currently, then by all means, but don’t we have more imminent and demonstrable actual threats to deal with? Like, we don’t know, those people running around blowing up our soldiers and civilians? We forget what they’re called since the name has been banned by the MSM in favor of “militants”, but we’re sure you know who we’re talking about.

In a statement, Michigan Rep. Peter Hoekstra, the House Intelligence Committee’s top Republican, questioned Democrats’ intelligence priorities, saying the report would divert scarce resources to study global warming.

Pish-posh. That’s not true at all. They’re not studying global wormening, they’re studying the possible effects of a problem that nobody has a clue as to the magnitude or existence of. See? Much better.

Republicans, he said, worked to focus on terrorists, rogue nations and U.S. enemies.

Rep. Darrell Issa, R-Calif., went a step further, sponsoring an amendment to prohibit “environmental spying.” The proposal failed.

“Our government should not commit expensive spy satellites and human intelligence sources to target something as undefined as the environment,” Issa said.

Next, we’ll have the National Guard ordered to measure temperatures, fly weather balloons and print promotional fliers for “An Inconvenient Truth.”

Idiots.

Comments 26 Comments »

(Via the Imperial Firearms Advisor, go read the whole thing).

What do you call it when “scientists” deliberately cull out data points that don’t fit the preferred conclusion, throwing out almost two centuries’ worth of precise CO2 measurements in favor of not nearly as accurate ice core proxy measurements?

Why, you call it an IPCC report on Global Warming, that’s what (please note, Gorebeciles, Mr. Jaworowski is an actual scientist with experience in the field, as opposed to an interior decorator or expert in Chinese herbal medicine).

Not to mention that an organization delaying their “scientific” report, claiming that they had to, so that:

“Changes . . . [could be] made to ensure consistency with the ‘Summary for Policymakers.’ ”

…isn’t an organization that we’d dignify with much credibility, if any at all.

One thing we did learn in school and, later, in our professional life is that if the data don’t fit the hypothesis, then the hypothesis needs work, not the data. Or, to put it another way, the job of actual science is to describe the real world based on what we can observe, not shoe-horning, finagling and falsifying what we see to fit what we have decided that the real world should be.

And if you’re caught doing the latter, your credibility is out the window and only an idiot would consider a single word you ever published credible without renewed and painstaking scrutiny to verify that you weren’t lying there as well. Most of the time, it’s easier to just disregard your work as whole and file it under “fiction.”

Of course, with the IPCC, we reached that point years ago when they first started publishing, editing out contributions that didn’t fit with their pre-determined conclusions while keeping the names of the purged scientists on the list of contributors against their protests.

This article just proves that they haven’t learned a thing. It doesn’t just prove that they’re lying, it proves that they’re lying still.

Thatisall.

Comments 24 Comments »

Someone might want to contact the Goreacle and tell him that his ship, the SS (Socialist Succubi) Glow Bull Worming™ is taking hits below the waterline and is taking on water like Rosie O’Donuts during PMS.

It is known as the Little Ice Age. Bitter winters blighted much of the northern hemisphere for decades in the second half of the 17th century. The French army used frozen rivers as thoroughfares to invade the Netherlands. New Yorkers walked from Manhattan to Staten Island across the frozen harbour. Sea ice surrounded Iceland for miles and the island’s population halved. It wasn’t the first time temperatures had plunged: a couple of hundred years earlier, between 1420 and 1570, a climatic downturn claimed the Viking colonies on Greenland, turning them from fertile farmlands into arctic wastelands.

Some of us have been well aware of these little tidbits of trivia that have, for some strange reason, been Inconveniently left out of the reporting Midiot Hysteria these last few years. We like to call it “being students of history“. You also forgot to mention the little part about MILLIONS OF PEOPLE STARVING TO DEATH BECAUSE OF FAILED CROPS, DUE TO COLD WEATHER.

Could the sun have been to blame? We now know that, curiously, both these mini ice ages coincided with prolonged lulls in the sun’s activity - the sunspots and dramatic flares that are driven by its powerful magnetic field.

“Now”? “Curiously”?

We’ve known about this for YEARS, yet, “curiously“, somehow AlBoron’s vaunted Undebatable Scientists of Worldwide Consensus™ have acted as if this was something that never happened and “conveniently” left any mention of it from the “non-debate“.

And would you mind refraining from using the royal “we”? That’s solely reserved for those of us in the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Thankyouverymuch.

Now some astronomers are predicting that the sun is about to enter another quiet period. With climate scientists warning that global warming is approaching a tipping point, beyond which rapid and possibly irreversible damage to our environment will be unavoidable, a calm sun and a resultant cold snap might be exactly what we need to give us breathing space to agree and enact pollution controls. “It would certainly buy us some time,” says Joanna Haigh, an atmospheric physicist at Imperial College London.

Yep. You read that paragraph right. Go back and read it again and try to see if you can wrap your brain around the twisted “logic” contained therein. Go ahead. We’ll wait… When you come back, click and continue reading below the fold. It just gets better. We promise.
Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 50 Comments »

Just a quickie, courtesy of LC & IB Ace:

Mars is being hit by rapid climate change and it is happening so fast that the red planet could lose its southern ice cap, writes Jonathan Leake.

Scientists from Nasa say that Mars has warmed by about 0.5C since the 1970s. This is similar to the warming experienced on Earth over approximately the same period.

So, over identical time periods, the two planets seem to have been experienced identical temperature changes? Hmmm… We’re sure there’s a clue in here somewhere, but we’ll be damned if we can find it… Wait! Eureka! We’ve GOT it!

There IS life on Mars, and they’re driving big SUVs while raping Mother Martia with their foul, unsustainable energy production!

Since there is no known life on Mars it suggests rapid changes in planetary climates could be natural phenomena.

Er… Careful there… If the Goreacle and his Church of Gorebeciles hear you saying that, you’ll end up with a visit from the Moonbat Gorequisition when you least expect it.

*CRASH!*

“NOOOOOObody expects the Moonbat GorequiSItion! Cardinal Prius, Rrrrrrread the chargesssss!”

Warned ya…

Of course, no post would be complete without its obligatory Idiotarian guest appearance:

The mechanism at work on Mars appears, however, to be different from that on Earth. One of the researchers, Lori Fenton, believes variations in radiation and temperature across the surface of the Red Planet are generating strong winds.

Variations in radiation and temperature? Hmmm… What culprit in our solar system could possibly cause variations in radiation and temperature?

It couldn’t be… THIS?

Of course, luckily, Mother Gaia is completely immune to that insignificant spark of flame. Down here, every temperature change is caused by your cousin Cletus’ 4×4.

In a paper published in the journal Nature, she suggests that such winds can stir up giant dust storms, trapping heat and raising the planet’s temperature.

So, you see, the dust storms are causing the heat increase, the dust storms that are originally caused by wind, winds in turn caused by increases in…

SHUT UP! HERETIC!!!

Next, some iconoclastic heathen will start suggesting that rising temperatures lead to rising CO2 levels and not, as His Most Holy Pontiff, Father Goreacle, tells us, the other way around.

Comments 38 Comments »

LC Mope sends us this, asking us for Imperial Sanctuary since somebody has obviously gotten wise to his carbon offset scam. Not to worry, Mope, you’re welcome inside the compound.

Companies and individuals rushing to go green have been spending millions on “carbon credit” projects that yield few if any environmental benefits.

Nahhh… Really? Who’d have thought?

A Financial Times investigation has uncovered widespread failings in the new markets for greenhouse gases, suggesting some organisations are paying for emissions reductions that do not take place.

We’re shocked, SHOCKED we tell you. It’s almost as if somebody thought “hey, we’ve got all of these bozos yearning to buy their way to a warm, fuzzy feeling without actually having to do anything, so why don’t we part some fools from their money?”

Others are meanwhile making big profits from carbon trading for very small expenditure and in some cases for clean-ups that they would have made anyway.

Say it ain’t so! You mean they’re actually, *gasp!*, double-dipping, getting gullible twats to pay for stuff they’re already doing?

The growing political salience of environmental politics has sparked a “green gold rush”, which has seen a dramatic expansion in the number of businesses offering both companies and individuals the chance to go “carbon neutral”, offsetting their own energy use by buying carbon credits that cancel out their contribution to global warming.

Except, of course, that it doesn’t. No matter how many indulgences you buy from “carbon offset” scam artists, the CO2 you pumped out isn’t going anywhere, any more than me buying a Papal indulgence for killing somebody is going to raise them from the dead. Not that I can buy a Papal indulgence these days. People got wise to that scam centuries ago, so it sort of went out of business, only to be replaced by the exact equivalent, The Church of Gore carbon indulgences. There’s always a new generation of idiots waiting to be taken advantage of.

The burgeoning regulated market for carbon credits is expected to more than double in size to about $68.2bn by 2010, with the unregulated voluntary sector rising to $4bn in the same period.

…and we suppose we should be outraged about this but, quite frankly, there’s something about drooling fucktards being robbed blind because of their rampant idiocy that appeals to us.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Comments 35 Comments »

Noted Genius on Everything There is to Know in the Whole Universe™ (according to 9 out of 10 certifiably sub-retarded garden slugs) Sheryl Crow and her girlfriend went to Washington, and all they got was a lousy T-shirt. Oh the HUMANITY!

Last night Thelma and Louise drove the bus off the cliff or at least into the White House Correspondents Dinner. The “highlight” of the evening had to be when we were introduced to Karl Rove. How excited were we to have our first opportunity ever to talk directly to the Bush Administration about global warming.

Why didn’t you bring Hansel & Gretel as well, seeing as how you seem to be enamored of fairy tales?

We asked Mr. Rove if he would consider taking a fresh look at the science of global warming.

You mean you actually found some? Please, let us see it as well, because all we have so far is a bunch of hyperventilating hysterics on the public grant dole, trying to outdo one another in baseless assertions and crazed conjectures.

Much to our dismay, he immediately got combative. And it went downhill from there.

We reminded the senior White House advisor that the US leads the world in global warming pollution and we are doing the least about it.

Which is what one should do about something that isn’t “pollution” and doesn’t contribute in a meaningful fashion to global warming.

Anger flaring, Mr. Rove immediately regurgitated the official Administration position on global warming which is that the US spends more on researching the causes than any other country.

Which is, sadly, true. And a horrible waste of tax funds as well. Surely we can find something other than full employment for nutty “scientists” to spend His Imperial Majesty’s money on?

We felt compelled to remind him that the research is done and the results are in (www.IPCC.ch).

…now that the IPCC, a wholly owned subsidiary of the U.N., the single most inept and corrupt kleptocracy in all of human history, are done editing out the scientific conclusions that contradict the preferred message, that is.

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 39 Comments »

No, don’t worry, this post does not contain The Controversial Hypotheses That Dare Not Speak Their Names™, just our Imperial Thanks to LC Radical Redneck for the generous gift of Avery & Singer’s “Unstoppable Global Warming: Every 1,500 Years.”

We’ve only had a chance to read about 20 pages of it before going to sleep yesterday, but that alone was enough to make us laugh our arse off at the stupidity of the Goreacle and his Ecofreak Gorebeciles, not to mention their “scientific consensus” which is neither scientific, nor much of a consensus.

Not that it would matter if it were.

The general “scientific consensus” at the time stated, quite unequivocally, that Galileo was stark raving mad, yet we do believe that he turned out to be rather spot on.

Heaven help us if we start establishing scientific “fact” by majority vote.

Comments 25 Comments »

Here’s just a quick list of areas/cities that are sweltering under The Gorebecile’s mythical Anthropogenic Global Worming™ on this Easter Sunday, 2007.

The good people of Tennessee are probably gathering up their pitchforks & torches and heading to the Gorethedral of Global Worming™ to kick the fast bastard’s ass back over to EUnuchistan. (That’s AFTER bundling up like Nanook of Nashville™ & scraping the ice off their SUV’s o’ Doom™, of course.)

Perhaps we should just scrap our plans, altogether, for that Ron Jon® Surf Shop in Omaha and plan on opening up an Alpine ski resort in the U.S. Virgin Islands, instead…

F.E.T.E.

Comments 32 Comments »

It was 37 degrees this morning. In Texas. In April.

They’re talking about possible sleet tonight. Again: In Texas. In April.

So Gorebeciles: I strongly suggest you shut the fuck up, because if you even think about bloviating about your delusions in my immediate vicinity, or as much as try to impose your idiocy on me and mine, I’m going to mess you up.

Bad.

At least it might keep me warm.

Also, since I have two kids, I figure that I have two homicide offsets, so you better be fucking careful.

Brrrr…

***UPDATE***: I should’ve known. The Goreacle has left DC and flew home to Tennessee Friday. Listen, oh fine citizens of the Volunteer State, we like you, we really do, but would you fucking MIND? Kick that pontificating Frost God back across the Mason-Dixon Line or send him straight to Hell. Hell, of course, will then promptly freeze over at last, but that’s Satan’s problem.

Comments 29 Comments »