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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Archive for Tehran Tumblefucks
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Archive for the “Tehran Tumblefucks” Category

Sorry for not posting much, but the Muse has been absent for a while, and still refuses to come back in full force. And we have a great staff here at the Rott, so it would be criminal of His Majesty to pollute their excellent posts with half-hearted drivel from yours truly.

But this caught our interest (thanks, Sir Christopher). Looks like things might be heating up as the genocidal maniacs in Tehran ratchet up the rhetoric and bang their scrawny chests.

A claim by President Ahmadinejad that Iran has 3,000 working uranium-enriching centrifuges sent a tremor across the world yesterday amid fears that Israel would respond by bombing the country’s nuclear facilities.

Of course, Ahmadingdong may just be full of shit as per usual, but it’s not like Israel can afford to take that chance, now is it? Picture the last living Jooo sitting around in the radioactive ruins of Tel Aviv saying “but we thought he was bluffing!” Not going to happen. Mahmoud, may the devil curse his scrotal sac with painful, oozing sores, is about to get a lesson in what not to say around understandably nervous Israelis.

Here’s a hint, Ahmadillydally: The retards at Columbia might think that you’re hot shit and not much care about your constant threats to finish what Hitler started, but the good folks of Israel and, more specifically, the IAF are paying very close attention. Just ask your boyfriend Bashar “Giraffe” Assad.

Amid the international uproar, British MPs who were to have toured the nuclear facility were backing out of their Iran trip.

Probably not a bad idea, British MPs. The ambient temperature of certain regions of Iran might be going up quite a bit in the near future.

Israel responded by serving notice that it would not tolerate a nuclear Iran. “Talks never did, and never will, stop rockets,” said Ehud Barak, the Defence Minister, after talks with the security cabinet.

Well put, sir. Somebody needs to take those words, chisel them into a marble slab and bang President Waffles in DC about the head with it for an hour or seventeen.

Mr Ahmadinejad, speaking yesterday at a rally, said that UN sanctions had failed to halt uranium enrichment. “The world must know that this nation will not give up one iota of its nuclear rights . . . if they think they can get concessions from this nation, they are badly mistaken,” he said.

But hey, let’s have more TALKS, right? Oh, and those dreaded sanctions that are obviously about as effective as peeing on a forest fire. A few weeks ago the “hawks” in DC, amidst much fanfare, announced that they’d declared the Revolutionary Guard a terrorist organization and, as we all know, Iran surrendered the next day. Oh wait, they didn’t. Well, how about having the credit card companies freeze their frequent flier miles? THAT’LL teach ‘em!

Go for it, Israel, because it’s pretty damn obvious that nobody else will.

NEVER AGAIN!

Comments 25 Comments »

We fully expect the Tehran Tumblefucks to be begging for terms any day now:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, joined at a State Department news conference by Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, said the steps the Bush administration is taking against the Revolutionary Guard Corps and a number of banks are designed, among other things, to punish Tehran for its support of terrorist organizations in Iraq and the Middle East.

[…]

The United States has long labeled Iran as a state supporter of terrorism and has been working for years to gain support for tougher sanctions from the international community aimed at keeping the country from developing nuclear weapons.

The sanctions will cut off more than 20 Iranian entities, including individuals and companies owned or controlled by the Revolutionary Guards, from the American financial system and will likely have ripple effects throughout the international banking community.

We’re reminded of a little-known historical fact that many military historians believe was the real Turnaround Point™ in World War II, as opposed to the piffling minor incidents at Stalingrad, El Alamein et al. We’re referring, of course, to the recently de-classified document revealing that the Roosevelt Administration, in November of 1942, put travel restrictions on all members of the 1. SS “Leibstandarte Adolf Hitler” Panzer Division and froze their overseas bank assets.

What effete, incompetent, half-arsed pricks we have in DC.

LC & IB Bill Quick, from whom we got the news item, asks:

Does anybody but me think that “sanctions” against the Iranian military, but not against the Iranian regime are, well, ridiculous?

We’d have chosen more colorfully appropriate words than “ridiculous” for it, Bill, but, other than that…

Yes.

UPDATE: Just as we think that it can’t possibly get any worse, that there is no way on this Earth that the President Milquetoast administration and his paleosimian-fellating Secretary of State of Servitude can further prove to us that they aren’t worthy of running a lemonade stand, Bill drops by in comments to show me this:

WASHINGTON, Oct 26 (Reuters) - Anxious not to repeat mistakes of past Middle East peace-making, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has turned to former presidents Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter for tips ahead of her own conference this year.

At this point we have to tell ourselves that this is just al-Roto-Reuter spinning in favor of their two favorite traitors of all time, because if we don’t, then there is absolutely no way that anybody can ever convince us again that Kerry or Gore would have been worse. Or Satan, Pol Pot, Ho Chi Minh or Josef Stalin, for that matter.

But it’s hard to make a convincing case for it, considering that our Fearless Leader has spared no effort to kiss Islamofascist butt ever since he conveniently forgot about what he said right after 9/11 (something that, to his credit, took him several weeks which is unusual for the slime-covered swampcritters infesting Washington DC), that his Secretary of anti-Semitic States has been so busy sleeping with the paleosimians that it’s a wonder that she hasn’t had several litters with them already (her latest hit being to lean on Israel to get them to hand over Jerusalem to the terrorist Saracen hordes. Why not Tel Aviv as well, Gondolapisser Rice? And throw in Haifa as well or, even better, DC) and that he still, six years into the war, refuses to do something about our wide open borders because it would make his boyfriend Vicente mad.

And those are just a few of his fuckups.

The only legitimate reason for inviting Dhimmi Khadr and Billie Jean Blowjob over would be to serve them both with their charges of treason, then having them dragged outside and shot against the nearest Rose Garden wall, and since they’re both among the living still, we can only conclude that the most lily-livered, spineless administration since Dhimmi Khadr’s own has fucked up…

Again.

I’ll be outside getting drunk…

Comments 30 Comments »

Yes, we heard the ferocious furrowing of brows and vigorous wagging of fingers from president Bollinger too, but before you wear out your arms patting him on the back for that “beautiful smackdown” and how it “utterly ridiculed that Tehran Tumblefuck in the eyes of the world”, allow us to remind you, once again, that it doesn’t matter one mosquito in an F-5 twister how YOU perceive it, what matters is how it is perceived in the part of the world that our propaganda should be directed AT.

And they’re having a ball with it.

But hey, if it makes you feel better, keep reminding yourselves how foolish the psychopath looked to US. I don’t know why that would be considered a “victory”, though, unless you were a bit on the fence about him to begin with, which I fervently hope isn’t the case.

Thanks, State Dept. and Gondolapisser Rice, thanks president Bollinger for handing a free propaganda coup to our enemies, enemies who are, as we speak, murdering American servicemen overseas.

May we one day forget that you were ever our countrymen.

Comments 32 Comments »

Hat Tip to LC Mrs. M ITT™ for the linky love.

Not that it should come as a surprise to any of our loyal readers, Iran has always been and continues to be the real puppet-masters of the middle east Ass-Spelunkers-For-Allah™. Finally, FINALLY the Noodlespine-Roveless administration begins to turn up the heat on the Turbaned Tehran Tumblefucks.

U.S. Eyes Terror Tag For Iranian Force

The U.S. government is involved in intense discussions over naming all or part of Iran’s Revolutionary Guard as a terrorist group in a move that would effectively declare “open season” on the organization, a senior official told CNN.

Open Season on terrorists? Where can I get my license and is there a bag limit?

If made, the designation would come in the form of an executive order from President George W. Bush, the State Department official said.

Such a move would allow the Treasury Department to go after the finances of the group and those who do business with it.

Beautiful, a bit of a financial squeeze of Iran could go a long way to reduce the “Have AK, Will Travel” insurgency and arms supply in Iraq and Afghanistan. Definitely a “Good Thing”.

“It would basically declare open season on these guys,” the official said, adding that the move is being taken because of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps’ (IRGC) support for “all the bad actors” — insurgents in Iraq, the Taliban in Afghanistan and other terrorist groups in the Middle East like Hezbollah and Hamas.

Hezbollocks and Hamassholes too? I’m liking this even more. The Palis are only a squeeze or two away from starving anyway.

The move is “three-fourths done but the devil is in the details,” the official said. An internal decision has been made to take some action, but there is still debate on whether to designate the entire IRGC or just the elite Quds Force.

“We need to decide whether to go for the sledgehammer approach of the larger group or the laser method of just going after the Quds Force,” the official said.

C’mon W, just dig down deep, find at least one of those shriveled nads and go for the “10-Pound Sledge” approach.

Asked to comment on the reports that the Guard Corps may be named a terrorist group, National Security Council spokesman Gordon Johndroe would only say:

“It’s not appropriate for us to discuss potential future actions. We continue to urge Iran to play a constructive role in the region, and to stop providing support to terrorist organizations.”

Don’t hold your breath on them playing along with anything, but this move might get their attention, especially if W decides to continue along with the obvious folllow-on plan to the squeeze play.

Although most in the administration wants to go for the whole group, some want to tone it down a bit to soften the anticipated criticism from European allies, the official said.

Foggy-Bottom, pin-striped, pusillanimous pus-bags are sucking their thumbs over losing their best butt buddies in the EUrinal.

For months, U.S. officials have contended that Iranian agents, from the Quds Force, are helping train and equip militants in Iraq and have been supplying armor-piercing explosively formed penetrators to insurgents that have been used against U.S. forces. Iran has denied these assertions.

Tell us something we don’t know, Skippy.

The discussions come amid increased pressure by Congress to take tougher measures against Iran, including a possible divestment campaign. According to the official, the move by the administration could blunt any action in Congress which might tie the administration’s hands.

Maybe, just MAYBE W has another card to play in the WoT.

Let’s hope this is a serious move, that’s pushed hard and fast into real policy.

Comments 14 Comments »

LC kwongdzu sends us this about what was going on behind the scenes as Bush was negotiating with the Tehran Tumblefucks that have murdered an untold number of our soldiers and continues to be the biggest state sponsor of terrorism on the planet (a snippet, but do read it all, especially for the video bit):

For some reason, no one told you that just 5 days before Monday’s talks, an entire floating army, with nearly 20,000 men, comprising the world’s largest naval strike force, led by the USS Nimitz and the USS Stennis, and also comprising the largest U.S. Naval armada in the Persian Gulf since 2003, came floating up unnanounced through the Straight of Hormuz, and rested right on Iran’s back doorstep, guns pointed at them. The demonstration of leverage was clear. And it also came on the exact date of the expiration of the 60 day grace period the U.N. had granted Iran.

And it came just a few weeks after Vice President Dick Cheney had swept through the region and delivered a very clear and pointed message to the Saudi King Abdullah and others: George Bush has unequivocally decided to attack Iran’s nuclear, military and economic infrastructure if they do not abandon their drive for military nuclear capability. Plain and simple. Iran heard the message as well, and although a lack of leverage may seem clear to America’s retired military tv talking heads, it is not so clear to the government in Tehran.

Now, I have nothing but the highest respect for Pat Dollard, he’s very high indeed on the list of people whose hands I’d love to shake, and I’m certainly not going to suggest that sending an Armada to your enemy’s doorstep isn’t a quite powerful message indeed (it’d be more powerful if our President wasn’t named George “Can’t We All Just Get Along” Dubya, but I digress), all of this is true.

But it doesn’t change the fact that you do NOT negotiate with terrorists. Ever. In any shape, form or fashion. To do so achieves nothing but to encourage them and grant them a standing in the eyes of the world that they have not earned, don’t deserve and won’t earn unless they voluntarily commit mass suicide.

There’s nothing wrong in sending an ultimatum to your enemies, even if they’re terrorists, but you do not let them say a word. They don’t exist. They’re not human. They have not earned the RIGHT to talk. They will listen quietly, then they’ll wander off in silence and do as they’re told, or they will be exterminated within 48 hours, and that’s the end of it.

You shouldn’t even dignify them with actually being PRESENT when the ultimatum is given. Send them a note, leave a message on their answering machine, tie the ultimatum around an inert JDAM and dump it in front of their government building, write it on a piece of paper and nail it to the chest of a dead terrorist (or a live one, that works even better), but don’t EVER let them or anybody else in the world get the idea that their opinion matters, that they’re worthy of being seen as sentient beings or that they have any say in the matter.

Because they don’t.

Let them know, in no uncertain terms, that they have two choices and two choices only: Unconditional surrender and submission or complete, swift, brutal extermination AND let them know that we don’t really care either way. One of the two will happen within the next 48 hours. They only get to choose which one.

THAT’S how you deal with scum.

Thatisall.

Comments 21 Comments »

The Embassy hostages? Threatening to nuke one of our key allies off the map? Funneling IEDs and weapons, not to mention terrorists wielding them, into Iraq to kill our troops?

“Never mind, Mullahs, why don’t we all sit down and talk?”

Tue May 29, 3:50 AM ET

BAGHDAD - The United States and Iran broke a 27-year diplomatic freeze Monday with a four-hour meeting about Iraqi security. The American envoy said there was broad policy agreement, but that Iran must stop arming and financing militants who are attacking U.S. and Iraqi forces.

Iranian Ambassador Hassan Kazemi Qomi told The Associated Press that the two sides would meet again in less than a month. U.S. Ambassador Ryan Crocker said Washington would decide only after the Iraqi government issued an invitation.

President Dumbass just continues to impress. Please note the dateline on that article. Not only did President Milquetoast’s Administration sit down to have talks with the most active state sponsor of terrorism on the face of the planet, they did so on Memorial Day.

Yep, that’s right. While the rest of us were busy honoring and remembering our fallen, President Noodlespine’s people were schmoozing with their murderers.

I can’t wait for that honorless assclown to get the fuck out of office.

Hey, Dumbya, remember this?: “You’re either with us or you’re against us.” Or how about “you don’t negotiate with terrorists?”

Apart from completely flip-flopping on your commitment to actually, you know, fight the Long War, apart from building the most bloated, overpriced bureaucracy in the history of these United States, apart from outspending even the Klintoon Kuntheads, apart from working hard to erase our borders and utterly destroy this nation in a flood of un-assimilable criminals, apart from licking the floor of every mosque in the nation out of fear of offending the death cult that we’re at war with, apart from violating the Constitution’s First Amendment by signing McCain/Feingold, apart from promising to sign a violation of the Second Amendment as well if the Bastard Child of Klintoon’s Scary Weapons Ban ever makes it to your desk, is there any other part of the United States and conservative values that you wish to tear up, burn and piss on the ashes of before you leave office in ‘09?

Is there any other part of my children’s birthright that you want to throw away, Mr. 28% Approval Rating?

Fuck you very much, you simpering, spineless suckweasel.

Cox & Forkum nail it.

Comments 16 Comments »

As our limited intel on the Mad Mullah’s nuclear ambitions decrease, IAEA Boob-In-Chief urges even more dialogue.

IAEA: Iran 3-8 years from atomic weapons

The head of the U.N. nuclear agency said Thursday he agreed with CIA estimates that Iran was three to eight years from being able to make nuclear weapons and he urged the U.S. and other powers to pursue talks with the Islamic country.

Since it’s worked so well this far, might as well continue doing More Of The Same™ blather-fests. I am surprised El Baradei extracted Ammadinnerjacket’s meat pole from his mouth long enough to come up with Sure-Fire Solution #21497.

The best way to keep Iran from acquiring nuclear arms is “through a comprehensive dialogue,” International Atomic Energy Agency chief Mohamed ElBaradei told a news conference in Luxembourg. “One way to do that, rather than to continue the rhetoric, is to … sit down together.”

If I’m not mistaken, the rhetoric has largely come from your boyfriend there Doc. You remember, “holocaust denial” and “finishing what Hitler started”. But then again, I might have missed the rhetorical points in stating “Iran is getting damn close to building nuclear weapons”. I agree language is an art form to some extent, but demonstrably factual statements, backed by corroborating additional statements, might be considered a little more convincing than rhetoric.

On Wednesday, the IAEA reported that Iran’s uranium enrichment program was expanding in defiance of U.N. demands that it be suspended, findings that could lead to new sanctions against the country.

Obviously requiring even more demands and if it really gets out of control, a stern look.

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 12 Comments »

Mr. Blair after graciously receiving the tender colo-rectal ministrations from the Mad Mullahs, is asked to provide sloppy seconds.

Iranian: U.K. Can Help Mend Relations

Fifteen British sailors and marines freed from captivity in Tehran began two weeks’ leave with their families Saturday, while Iran’s ambassador to London urged Britain to help his nation mend relations with the international community.

Now in the context of this shameful affair, one might think the ambassador is asking for help from the UK to mend Iran’s relations with said international community, right?

Ambassador Rasoul Movahedian told the Financial Times newspaper in an article published Saturday that Iran had “showed our goodwill” by freeing the Britons.

“Now it is up to the British government to proceed in a positive way,” he was quoted as saying. “We will welcome in general any steps that could defuse tensions in the region.”

Nope, the Brits after getting thoroughly dry-humped, sans a solitary reach-around, are being encouraged by the Mad Mullahs to drop trou’ for the rest of the international community. At least Assad will be at the back of the line, I’m sure it will take him at least a month to recharge the man-juice reservoir from Lugosi’s visit.

The British mariners, captured in the Persian Gulf on March 23, were freed Wednesday by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who called their release a gift to Britain. [emph mine]

Such a delightful Easter present huh Tony? Your own Royal Navy and Marines. They should’ve given them fake bunny-ears along with the cheap suits.

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 11 Comments »

That’s it. WWIV can’t be far away, now that the intrepid leader of the British Lion has escalated all the way to disgust!:

Blair responded that the service personnel will be released, that Iran is facing increasing condemnation from world bodies and that Britain has done nothing wrong.

“I really don’t know why the Iranian regime does this [show captives on TV],” because it just arouses disgust, he told reporters Friday.

“If they continue in this way, they will face increasing isolation,” Blair said, referring to a UN Security Council resolution passed Thursday and an announcement from the European Union expected Friday.

The U.N. Security Council! Mahmoud, all is lost! You’re doomed, we tell you, DOOMED! Just look at the puissant nature of that august body’s statement:

The United Nations Security Council has agreed to a statement voicing what it calls “grave concern” at Iran’s seizure of 15 British sailors.

The statement is not as strong as Britain was hoping for. Britain had wanted the UN statement to say the council “deplored” Iran’s detention of the sailors.

Britain’s ambassador to the UN, Sir Emyr Jones Parry, says he hopes Iran will respond.

See? “Grave concern!” Witness the isolation! Despair, Ahmadinnerjacket, despair and crumble in the face of the terrible resolve of the West!

Meanwhile, the Mad Mullahs continue their abuse of women (but hey, it’s a Muslim country. Who are we to question their equally valid cultural mores?), torturing the sole female hostage into delivering yet another coerced message:

She said she was “sacrificed due to the intervening policies of the [U.S. President George W.] Bush and Blair governments,” and continued a critique of Western intervention in Iraq from her previous letter, released Thursday.

“It is now our time to ask our government to make a change to its oppressive behavior towards other people,” the new letter said.

Yep. Sounds exactly like something a member of the armed forces would say of her own free will, without coercion or threats. Just ask Rosie O’Donut. “Google it! Peace out!”

And, just to be sure that nobody gets the idea that the Religion of Peace (Our Imperial Arse) only condones torture and abuse of female infidels, they applied the thumbscrews to a male member of the crew as well:

Summers said he was aware that the incident in which he was seized was the second time since 2004 that British military personnel had entered Iranian waters.

“Again I deeply apologize for entering your waters,” he said. “We trespassed without permission.”

“See? There’s the evidence”, the fat lesbian vampire from “The View” shrieked while hanging from the ceiling, munching on four pounds of prime lard.

Meanwhile, apologists for the West’s complete and utter lack of resolve in the face of Iranian piracy continue to claim that actually doing something would be “simply playing into the Iranians’ hand.” An unnamed government official, who spoke to the Imperial News Network on condition of anonymity, said “if we were to destroy the Iranians’ only gasoline-producing refinery, blockade their ports and wipe out their infrastructure, thus sending their economy back to the pre-industrial era, we’d be doing exactly what they want us to do. Just as FDR committed his one fatal mistake by destroying Nazi Germany after they declared war on us. That was exactly what Hitler wanted us to do, as he told his personal advisers right before he ate a bullet. It was the happiest moment of his life.”

In Heaven, Winston Churchill has been reassigned for duty as a ceiling fan in G-d’s office.

Comments 26 Comments »

His Majesty earlier alluded to how the appeaser hiding under the coffee table at 1600 Penn Ave has previously ignored acts of war committed by the Turbaned Tumblefucks of Tehran, and here, courtesy of LC kwongdzu, is another example:

According to a U.S. Army report out of Iraq obtained by U.S. News, American troops, acting as advisers for Iraqi border guards, were recently surrounded and attacked by a larger unit of Iranian soldiers, well within the border of Iraq.

The report highlights the details: A platoon of Iranian soldiers on the Iraqi side of the border fired rocket-propelled grenades and used small arms against a joint patrol of U.S. and Iraqi soldiers east of Balad Ruz. Four Iraqi Army soldiers, one interpreter, and one Iraqi border policeman remain unaccounted for after the September incident in eastern Diyala, 75 miles east of Baghdad.

September of 2006, we assume, since we haven’t quite reached September of ‘07 yet. Not that we’re saying that invading Iraq and opening fire on our soldiers didn’t have any consequences at all. Unnamed sources at Foggy Bottom inform us that, as a result, they refused to sign Ahmadinejad’s visa application with their customary “XOXOXO. Love, your admirers and eternal friends at the Dept. of State.”

And it’s not like it was all that serious, really:

It is possible that Iranians thought they were in Iranian territory, according to U.S. military officials. Such border confusions and disputes happen routinely.

Which, of course justifies invasions and use of military force perfectly. We’re amazed that the U.S. soldiers weren’t reprimanded for firing back, but maybe it was because it wasn’t the border between the U.S. and Mexico that the foreign invaders had violated.

Comments 18 Comments »