Obviously this video was made with an eye to the Iowa caucuses, but the message in there applies to all of us and, indeed, to the entire Fred! in ‘08 campaign.

If you want to know why we’re a FredHead, you need but to watch this:

Vote accordingly.

Unless you’d rather be left with a choice between Hickabee and Mitt “My Position, My Friend, Is Blowin’ In The Wind” Romney (or even, *shudder*, John McAmnesty McVain), that is.

Count us in.

From all of us at the Imperial Palace.

Kick back, relax, unplug from the rat race and spend some time with your loved ones, remembering to concentrate on the fact that you’re with your loved ones. Deadlines, bills and all of the other stuff that keeps us from enjoying the fruits of our labor and the many blessing in our lives can wait. It’ll all still be there after the holidays whether you waste precious time fretting about it or not, so DON’T.

In what may seem like a violation of our own Imperial Holiday Policy, we’d also like to forward Fred Thompson’s Christmas message to you. But only because he, unlike any of the other candidates, none of whom are worth wasting five bloody seconds on, completely fails to use his message to bloviate about his own greatness and eminent suitability for the office of President. In fact, he doesn’t talk about himself at ALL, which is a refreshing change in a politician, to say the very least.

Instead, he talks about the only ones other than the loved ones you’re spending the holidays with that you SHOULD spend some time thinking about:

Because if it weren’t for them, you wouldn’t be spending the holidays in peace, prosperity and safety at all.

Coincidentally, if you too think that Fred! is to be commended for this message and that he’s the kind of person we need in the White House, you can donate whatever spare change you still have left to him here. He needs it, and America needs HIM.

Thatisall.

At least that’s what Rod Dreher seems to ineffectually argue in this cosmic crapheap of an opinion piece.

His Imperial Majesty can’t possibly do a better job of incinerating that nonsense than LC & IB Ace does, so go read that one if you don’t mind being left with the mental image of Rod Dreher dangling from a coat rack by the elastic of his Hanes, crying uncontrollably about his lost lunch money.

We know we don’t.

But we do want to add this: Take your “you don’t like Huckabee because he’s a Christian” and shove it, pal.

We’re a Christian, about as Christian as they come, and we bloody well hate his guts. It’s not because he’s a Christian, no matter how much blathering buttskates like Rod Dreher would like to avoid addressing the real issue by donning the thorned crown of martyrdom instead, it’s because he’s a flipping nanny-statist, liberal, illegal alien-loving, murderer/rapist-pardoning, “hasn’t heard about the Cuban crises” imbecilic heap of incoherent, inexperienced, corrupt, flip-flopping sack of particularly nauseating codswallop.

In fact, that he’s a Christian (if, indeed, he is by any reasonable definition of the word) is his only redeeming feature.

But note this, Rod Dreher and Dreher wannabes, and note it well: THIS Evangelical Christian does NOT believe that that, and that alone, makes him qualified to be President. It certainly doesn’t disqualify him, but if that’s the only thing on his resume that doesn’t make us want to pull the lever for the trapdoor and feed him to the hungry tiger, then he can go get bent as far as we’re concerned.

If that makes us a card-carrying member of an “anti-Christian” Right Wing Conspiracy dreamed up by clowns such as Dreher, then so be it. That would make a religious fanatic out of Dreher, then, a fanatic of the sort that would make any Haji feel like a sinner in dire need of repentance.

As to ourself, it’s still Fred and Fred all the way, seeing as how he’s the ONLY candidate with some actual specific policies in place, conservative policies mind you, which we always found somewhat appropriate for a candidate running for an allegedly conservative party.

Also, he’s the only one of the candidates, with the exception of Hunter, that doesn’t make us want to vomit.

UPDATE: And now, via Hot Air:

We’re sure that all the Guilianistas out there will immediately rush to Rudy “Sanctuary City”’s defense, pointing out how a head of lettuce will cost at least $700 three weeks after Fred! takes office:

Senator Fred Thompson today unveiled a comprehensive border security and immigration enforcement proposal that would make America safer by increasing security at our nation’s borders, enforcing our country’s existing laws to reduce the incentive for illegal immigration and streamlining the legal immigration process.

Increasing security at the border (as opposed to Rudy “Come One, Come All!” Giuliani’s “technological fence” which, translated into plain English, means “not much of a fence at all but it sure does sound nifty!”), enforcing existing laws (Oh HORROR!) and streamlining the legal immigration process???

Do go on. You’ve got our full attention.

Give us more, O Emperor! »« AIIIEEEE! My EYES!

From The Globe and Mail:

THE PRESIDENT of the United States from 2008 to 2012 will be one of the following three people: Hillary Clinton, Rudy Giuliani or Mitt Romney.

It’s rather early in the election season for such pointed speculation. But a look at the situation reveals that the prediction is not all that chancy.

It is now almost certain that Mrs. Clinton is going to be the Democratic nominee. Fred Thompson is the most likely choice for the Republican nomination, but he could not beat Hillary Clinton in the fall.

Mr. Giuliani and Mr. Romney are the only two Republicans with a shot at the nomination who could defeat Hillary Clinton.

Republican candidate Sam Brownback, a dark horse, said the other day that if the Republicans nominate Mr. Thompson it’s political suicide. He’s right. Most polls show that, going head-to-head against Mrs. Clinton, Mr. Thompson would lose by 2-1. The former Tennessee Senator would be the Barry Goldwater of 2008. He is too right-wing to appeal to enough moderates to win and he is too prone to incredible gaffes.

Does this sound familiar? It should, for more than one reason, because it’s a rerun that we changed the text of a bit to make it current. Here’s the original, courtesy of LC & IB Bill Quick:

Give us more, O Emperor! »« AIIIEEEE! My EYES!

From LC & IB Mike Hendrix, here’s some delicious Prime Fred!™:

Q: “Some believe that the Second Amendment has different meanings in different places, and that the gun rights of citizens in, say, New York City and Chicago can restricted more than the gun rights of those in Tennessee and Montana. Do you agree?”

Thompson responds with a deep, rumbling, slow, “Noooope.” Then he follows with absolute catnip for gun owners: “It’s never seemed to me to be coincidental that the places that have the highest crime rates tend to be the places that have the most restrictions on gun ownership in America.”

Will he appoint an Attorney General who shares his opinion of the Second Amendment. “Yes.” More applause. “I think we’re winning on the interpretation of the Second Amendment. I have a complicated position on this: The Constitution means what it says.” He gets another standing ovation.

Oh yes, I know. The RudyMcRomneyBots will respond with “sure, that’s what he says, but how do you know?”

I don’t.

But I’ll tell you this: If I have to choose between somebody who openly supports the 2nd Amendment and the Constitution as it is written, even if I don’t know for sure whether he’s just feeding me red meat or not, and a clown who not only has stated his disdain for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms, but also has proven that he feels that way as, say, mayor of NYC…

If that seems like an awfully hard choice calling for “nuance”, then I suggest that you go right ahead and pull for Rudy in the primary.

But it’s a pretty damn easy call for me to make.

Oh, and as to the whole “Rudy is our best chance in the general election!” brouhaha, I offer you this opinion:

…people aren’t lining up to board the Rudy train because he’s another RINO, anti-gun, big city, northeastern politician; Kerry with an elephant; Dukakis with more red in his bunting. I’m about as “socially conservative” as… well, metaphor fails me. I’m not at all socially conservative, but I wouldn’t vote for Rudy Giuliani at gunpoint, and neither would anyone else I know South of the Mason-Dixon or West of the Mississippi. If the GOP wants a sure loss in ‘08, they’re welcome to continue with this big media Giuliani circle jerk, but don’t expect me to join in.

Do you need it any clearer? Should I break out the whiteboard and big, color markers for you?

Finally, to the whinging RudyBots in the media, the talking head shills for mediocrity who have been desperately, frantically digging around in their empty, RINO-sympathizing skulls for something to belittle the Fred Campaign with, I bring you this very succinct comment from Mickey Kaus, who is definitely not an Evil Right Wing Death Beast for Fred!:

Fred Thompson’s campaign had such a terrible, fumbling, disappointing first week that he’s already tied with Giuliani in the ARG poll and ahead by eight points in the Rasmussen poll.

Mheh.

Keep “fumbling and disappointing” like that, Fred!, and you’ll make Reagan’s victory in 1984 look like Florida 2000.

It appears that the frenzied apes at the L.A. and New York Times — “All The Leftist Propaganda We See Fit To Print, From Sea To Shining Sea!” — actually have managed to find some billing records connecting Fred! to the National Family Planning and Reproductive Health Association.

And it’s devastating, devastating, we tell you!

Over a mere 14 months, it turns out that Fred! consulted for them, something that lawyers are known to do from time to time, billing them for the astronomical sum of $5,000 (FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!). That’s right! Fred! made literally HUNDREDS of dollars a month as a legal consultant for an organization at the request of a partner at his law firm. He even, the New York Times breathlessly reports, chatted with unspecified members of the Administration for a grand total of 3.3 HOURS, indubitably changing the entire Administration policy in the process, not to mention the Earth’s orbit around the Sun.

Because Fred! is JUST THAT AWESOME, don’t you know? For a mere $5,000 bucks and a after few lunches with unspecified people he can, in 14 months, completely redesign an entire plank in an Administration’s platform!

Fear The FRED!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Really, somebody that has the hard-core socialist media clowns in that much of a frenzy to dig up some dirt, ANY dirt, HAS to be good for America.

Certainly good enough for me.

UPDATE: LC & IB Bill Quick isn’t impressed with the hilariously inept lefty agitprop either, and he raises another point with which I agree fully: If the moronic MSMidiots keep this up, Fred! may actually end up owing them a thank you note for helping to drive his numbers UP.

UPDATE the Second: I note that some on the right side are busy with the Fred! Lied, Social Cons Died! meme as well. Now, we could be snarky and say something about certain people not being comfortable with pro-abortion Rudy having Fred! running nose and nose with him, but let’s be serious for a moment, shall we?

The charge is that Fred! (or, rather, his spokesman) categorically denied that Fred! lobbied the Administration on the behalf of the NFPRHA, and now it shows that he actually did speak to Administration officials for 3.3 hours. Ergo, the argument goes, he lobbied which, of course, would mean that he lied.

Knowing full well that the response will be that I’m debating what the meaning of “is” is, I will still maintain that “to lobby” means “to exert actual influence” on somebody, at least it does to a lot of us. And the fact remains that nobody knows just who exactly he spoke to for those 3.3 hours and, more importantly, what he talked to them about. For all that we know, he could have been calling to ask them where they stood on issues near and dear to his clients, what legislation was coming up, when it was coming up etc. etc. etc. In other words, what’s normally referred to as “research.”

Now, I don’t know that that’s what happened, but are you trying to tell me that Fred! instructed his campaign to flat out lie about something that he knew could be documented? Come on, pull the other one. If that turns out to be the case, then you may have a point that he’s not suited for the post he seeks. Not because he worked for a piddling 20 hours for NFPRHA two decades ago over a period of 14 months, but because he’d be dumber than a brick wall.

But I guess we’ll find out about that, won’t we?

If you’re still wondering what this whole Fred! craze and, more importantly, what Fred! himself is all about, here’s a wonderful summary.

Our favorite quote, but do read the whole thing, is this one:

Part of a great nation’s responsibility for keeping peace in the world is the threat it must pose to those who would upset that peace. Therefore, we must act as a deterrent to outrageous activity when our interests are involved. And America’s response in this matter should set a lasting example of what happens to those who unleash bloody attacks especially on our own soil.

The time for carefully measured pinprick responses to terrorists activities has passed. But we in this Body, and in the House, do not have the luxury of simply expressing our outrage or demanding retribution. We, along with the President, set policy and we must quickly reconcile ourselves to some of the things that we must do.

Preach it, Fred!