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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Archive for January, 2007
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Archive for January, 2007

After having watched this footage out of Iraq, courtesy of Hot Air, His Majesty has to admit that he’s feeling strange stirrings in his pants:

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 26 Comments »

Or at least that’s what my calendar, clock and laptop indicate.

As such, that means it’s fine radio entertainment tonight on the Imperial Cluebat 11-12 pm CT on WideAwakesRadio.

Assuming our continued biological Oh-2 infusion, we’ll be there, so do join His Offensiveness and Company, engaging the Idiotarian-rich target environment.

Hopefully, phone lines will be open- 1-888-407-1776 for comments, critiques and mockery.

[Update: Bad News, We will NOT have calls tonight. Good News, W.A.R. management informs us this will be corrected after today going forward. Otherwise, I do have the keys and the Imperial Flying Monkeys™ need some proficiency training.-JB]

Comments 4 Comments »

It’s taken 25 days for the IDF to waste a Paleostinian Terrorist in 2007.

I guess the Paleos were hucking rocks at each others’ caves and the IDF didn’t want to get caught in the paleolithic crossfire.

Well, it’s time to fill in a square:

Witnesses said the Israeli forces shot dead 17-year-old Fadel Balawneh, described by Palestinian security sources as a member of Islamic Jihad, as he tried to run away from a building which the army was surrounding.

The Israeli army declined to comment.

Too busy ordering the cake and renting the dance hall, right?

Let’s mark off Islamic Jihad, kiddies:

Pali Bingo

Who’s next?

Stay tuned… and when there’s five in a row, get ready to break out the pizzas!

Comments 9 Comments »

We know that we’d promised not to, but since it’s inevitable that some poor, naive fool is going to look up the text of the SotU Address out of curiosity unless we do something to stop it and save him or her from slipping into a coma, here’s a somewhat condensed recap.

The things we do to save you from yourselves, Loyal Citizens.

The Weenie-in-Chief started out with the obligatory, ceremonial kissing of Democrat arses in an inevitably futile attempt to ingratiate himself with the plebes of the left. Or maybe he really is happy that the party whose domestic platform he has been following slavishly since he got into office finally is in the majority, so he won’t even have to pretend that he’s a Republican anymore.

Who knows? More relevantly, who really cares anymore?

Personally, we think that the part where he prostrated himself before House Stretcher Lugosi and carefully sucked on each one of her toes while mumbling “I’m not worthy” over and over again was a bit over the top, but different strokes for different folks, we guess.

Other choice quotes from the ritual self-abasement:

…we’re all held to the same standards, and called to serve the same good purposes: To extend this nation’s prosperity; to spend the people’s money wisely; to solve problems, not leave them to future generations; to guard America against all evil; and to keep faith with those we have sent forth to defend us.

All of which every last worthless one of you will then proceed to ignore, just as you always have in the past. Next.

Our citizens don’t much care which side of the aisle we sit on —

Too true.

You’re all an equal waste of perfectly good DNA.

This economy is on the move, and our job is to keep it that way, not with more government, but with more enterprise.

Quoth the drunken sailor who has managed to outspend even Clinton on making government bigger, more expensive and, most of all, more intrusive. A bureaucrat in every room, a spoonful of gruel in every pot.

Pull the other one, dork. This one quit flying 4 years ago.

Then it was on to the usual promises to waste our money:

First, we must balance the federal budget.

A task made somewhat difficult by you making the Bent Dick from Hope look like Uncle Scrooge on a particularly stingy day in your frantic attempt to implement your No Vote Left Unbought Program™. How did that work out for you, by the way? Remember ‘06?

Never mind. We’re the ones who will have to pay.

We can do so without raising taxes. What we need to do is impose spending discipline in Washington, D.C.

So you’re resigning tomorrow?

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 10 Comments »

…all the fun, we miss.

LC & IB Rusty of the Jawa Report discovered a terrorist sympathizing video broadcaster on the InterTubes and, being the noble civil servant in search of global enlightenment that he is, was kind enough to share the information so that we might all listen, watch and learn about the Religion of Peace and their sadly misunderstood faith.

Sadly, by the time His Majesty finally got his lazy bum around to checking his email, the Voice of the Caliphate was gone, apparently removed from the InterTubes due to excessive bandwidth usage. And just as we were about to tune in for live, 24/7 towelhead nutcasery, all day and all night, just to make sure that we didn’t miss a single second of it all.

Obviously, that station is wildly popular because, lo and behold, a lot of other people got the same idea, inadvertently sucking up all of their bandwidth.

Mhehehehe.

Comments 5 Comments »

For some obscure reason, His Imperial Majesty will most likely be needing large amounts of yummy 7.62×51 NATO rounds afore long.

Fortunately, it’s real easy finding truckloads of mil-surp, affordable ammunition for such a widely used caliber, right? Well, that’s what we’ve always been told, but after quite a bit of Googling around, it seems that it’s about the rarest round on the planet and, when we DID manage to find some, it was priced at a level that makes shooting a Desert Eagle look cheap, and we don’t particularly feel like being ripped off by some con artist trying to pass off plain old military 7.62×51 as either expensive or rare.

So where has all the cheap ammo gone?

Does anybody know?

Comments 80 Comments »

Our dear friends of the Empire over at Euphoric Reality have been digging around some more into the “family business” of Faisal Khetani of discount-mats.com.

Turns out that Faisal runs his “company” out of his momma’s basement (hence the whines about the contact address belonging to “somebody else” and said “somebody else” being flooded with angry calls and letters. “Somebody else” happens to be Faisal’s daddy) and that he’s running a whole network of “companies” together with, at last count, two guys named Ahmed (sorry, “Accchhhhhhmed”) and Sajid. Of course, we don’t know the extent of the “togetherness”, but they all seem to link to pretty much the same place. We’re just speculating here.

Oh, and Faisal’s friend Sajir Nasir is a Muslim activist at UW-Milwaukee, his daddy is an engineer with the State of WI. Also, his brother has a degree in biomedical engineering with detailed knowledge in toxicity studies, disease studies and engineered tissue.

Now, this may of course be entirely innocent. It’s not like there’s a law against it, and we’re not suggesting, sans evidence, that there’s anything more to it than a whole bunch of interesting coincidences, but in this day and age, it’s hard to be too curious.

Not to mention that, as soon as LC & IB Heidi’s post wondering about the same things went up, the site got hacked and the entire post disappeared and the site has been slammed by proxies out of Chicago and Milwaukee, along with the usual anonymous threats via email. Of course, LC & IB Heidi wasn’t born yesterday, so there’s a copy up now which I urge you to read. Lots of good research there, and a lot more details.

Again, and I cannot stress this enough, all of the above is speculation, and it would’ve been nothing but that until the post provoked such a concerted and vicious response (oh, and assholes: Hacking sites is a felony, in case you’re wondering, so start packing your bags and get ready for a stay in the gray bar hotel), at which point it rose to somewhere slightly above that.

Still, there’s no hard evidence, so no jumping to conclusions.

But, you know, sometimes stuff that quacks and walks like a duck turns out to actually be a duck, if you know what we mean.

We’ll keep you posted.

Comments 30 Comments »

You’d think that at least a few Americans could pull their amples asses out from in front of “24” and “American Idiot” long enough to start building the gallows to hang the entire fuckin’ group of traitorous assholes who have perpetrated the unpardonable wrongful lynching of US Border Patrol Agents Compean and Ramos. (Warning: Be sure to put away all firearms and throwable objects before clicking on that link.)

Y’all bring the rope, we’ll bring the beer.

F.E.T.E

PS: No offense meant to those who like to watch “24” or “American Idiot“, but you’d think that The ReichWing Network™, aka “Fox“, would devote at least ONE story to this case, instead of the nightly 10-minute “American Idiot Update” segment. We mean, how many horribly-faked, choreographed bad try-outs can Fox possibly shove down the throats of the gullible, 15-second attention-spanned Americans before they smack themselves in their collective foreheads and go “Holy FUCK!!! This shit is contrived and fake and it’s all a scam to get gullible people to use up their “Anytime Minutes” calling in to vote, while watching commercials for even MORE episodes of American Idiot!”

Comments 22 Comments »

So as to save myself the pain, I think I’ll skip tonight’s dose of empty blather and broken promises. I’ve heard it all before, and it will fall into two groups of declarations:

1) Promises to spend obscene amounts of my tax money on illegal immigrants, retired baby-boomers and various and sundry other groups that he wants to buy the votes of, all of which promises he will do everything he can to keep and THEN some.

2) Promises to “bring evildoers to justice”, confront and defeat states sponsoring terrorism and standing firm with our allies against them, all of which promises he will do diddly fucksquat about while Condi Rice tours the Middle East, gobbling terrorist schwanz.

I mean, why would #7 be any different from the preceding 6?

Comments 25 Comments »

First, allow us to apologize for the absence of the last 2 hours of the 4-hour marathon of Jack last week. It was actually pretty much done when a technical glitch (His Imperial Majesty’s fat fingers hit the wrong button) caused it to disappear into the ether. Maybe that Stevens character from Alaska will locate it for us the next time he cleans the InterTubes.

At any rate, you didn’t really miss that much. Achhhhmed will never again criticize anybody for mispronouncing his name, and the All-American Suburban Family won’t be bothering us with their tepid, inane presence anymore either. Well, All-American Daddy won’t, that’s for sure, seeing as how he’s now a glowing puff of plasma somewhere in Valencia, which is a fitting end to some twit managing to make Anakin Skywalker’s “NOOOOOOOO!” sound even more retarded than the original.

As you know, Curtis isn’t among us anymore, since Jack ended up shooting him in order to save a terrorist. Oh yes, something’s seriously wrong with Jack these days but, then again, perhaps a couple of years in a ChiCom gulag will do things to your mind. We all know what the Hanoi Hilton did to the rotting lump of goo in McCain’s skull.

Oh, and a nuke blew up in L.A. What a waste of a perfectly good nuke. What, with Hollywood so tantalizingly close and all that. Then again, not even terrorists would be crazy enough to blow up their truest allies.

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 10 Comments »