Archive for June, 2007
…and we’re almost choking with laughter reading the contemptible cries for money from a multi-millionaire plopping into our inbox.
The only reason we’re not using the word “panhandling” is that we’ve never met a panhandler shameless enough to use his momma to talk people out of their money, and that’s just one of the stunts that the Breck Girl has crossed off on his to do list already.
But this time, he actually has the decency to grab the hat and hold it out himself:
Thanks to you, we’re within striking distance of our $9 million fundraising goal with just under 48 hours to go. If we make it, the campaign will have the resources we need to compete going forward.
So you leftards had better dip into your bong money and do it fast, or the Empire will be in danger of losing one of its prime sources of entertainment: a political candidate that makes “Jack” on “Will & Grace” look like a testosteronically over-endowed epitome of manly studliness by comparison.
Do you unwashed plebes, er, trusted voters have any idea what those $400 haircuts, spa visits and trips to the Pink Sapphire in Manchester, NH add up to? So don’t be such bloody misers, Breck Girl fans, pony up some dough for a poor man doing his damndest that you stay in the one of the Two Americas where you belong.
I’m proud of the way this community has stepped up in these last crucial days. And like so many Americans, I’m proud of Elizabeth and the way she stood up to Ann Coulter and said no to hate speech.
Truly a stellar moment. When faced with the slings and arrows of outrageous misquotes of your opponents, you bravely sent your cancer-ridden wife into the breach to defend your honor. But let’s not be too harsh on Silky Pony. It’s not like he tried to sell his aging mother’s pie recipe for campaign funds. Oh, wait, he did? Well scratch that, then. But still…
And while we’re on the subject of Ann’s “death threat”, why don’t we take a look at the entire sound bite that beady-eyed Beclowner-in-Chief Matthews et al managed, completely innocently, to mangle beyond all recognition in order to manufacture a talking point. Ann was being asked about the memorable “faggot” incident that caused so much bed-wetting and hand-wringing on the “conservative” right, mostly because they’d fallen behind in their ritual sacrifices of their own to the gods of liberal compassion, and she replied:
“But about the same time, you know, Bill Maher was not joking and saying he wished Dick Cheney had been killed in a terrorist attack. So I’ve learned my lesson. If I’m gonna say anything about John Edwards in the future, I’ll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot.”
Damn. To somebody with an IQ above that of a baked potato, it looks like she was sarcastically remarking that, since nobody appeared to be bothered about Bill Maher non-jokingly wishing for the death of a sitting Vice President in a terrorist attack, perhaps it would be safer for her to do so as well, should she at some point in the future desire to say anything about Silky Pony.
But this somehow, with the eager help of the DNC’s wholly owned subsidiary, the MSM, became “Ann Coulter wishes that John Edwards dies in terrorist attack.”
We already knew that the MSM don’t have many employees capable of reading “Jack and Jill” without the help of a copy of Cliff’s Notes and a Webster’s unabridged, but sometimes they still manage to impress us. We still can’t quite imagine how they manage to roll out of their sheets in the morning without a written, illustrated user’s manual.
And, predictably, this too was turned into a fund-raising event for the Silky Pony campaign.
In these last 48 hours, I’m asking you to do two things. By contributing today, you can help us reach our goal. And you can join with me in letting Elizabeth know how proud we are of her by leaving a personal message for her when you contribute.
“Dear Elizabeth: You are a pathetic, shameless, lying cunt. The only mitigating factor is that those are some of your husband’s best character traits, so we guess that he really did marry above his station. Then again, it would be hard to imagine how he could not have.”
July 3rd is Elizabeth’s birthday and a great way to celebrate would be a donation by our June 30th deadline to help us hit our goal.
A great way of celebrating the birthday of one of the richest bints in the state of North Carolina is to fork over $9 million to her equally rich husband’s political campaign?
We thought that the Edwardses were all about eliminating the difference between the “two Americas?”
All of us are working so hard to reach this goal because we know the stakes are so high.
“We are only $765 away from being able to buy Silky Pony a pedicure and a facial!”
Our cause is building one America—a place where everyone has a fair shot at the American Dream and no one is left out in the cold.
You could invite half of North Carolina inside and out of the cold in your newly built Versailles and still have room for most of the Boston Pops.
It’s truly universal health care. It’s stopping global warming. It’s bringing our troops home starting today. And it’s not just talking about poverty—it’s eliminating it.
“And all of this can be achieved if you poor shmucks just give me nine million bucks!”
But none of us can do this alone. This campaign is about working together on the big changes we believe in. It’s true now, and it will still be true when I’m president—we’re in this together.
“Unless you happen to be one of those scary, unkempt, plebeian neighbors living in their slummy dumps and obscuring the view from my mansion.”
So in these last 48 hours, please make a contribution to help us reach our goal, and join me in thanking Elizabeth for showing that hate and fear are no match for civility and courage.
Let’s instead thank Elizabeth for putting her effeminate, spineless, narcissistic, pussy-whipped husband’s arse on display for all the nation to see.
Who are you going to send the next time, Breckwards? Your high school teacher?
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(Thanks to too many people to mention. If I try, the rest of you will be ticked off that I forgot you )
GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip — A Mickey Mouse lookalike who preached Islamic domination on a Hamas-affiliated children’s television program was beaten to death in the show’s final episode Friday.
In the final skit, “Farfour” was killed by an actor posing as an Israeli official trying to buy Farfour’s land. At one point, the mouse called the Israeli a “terrorist.”
“Farfour was martyred while defending his land,” said Sara, the teen presenter. He was killed “by the killers of children,” she added.
Some bloody “martyr” their Mickey is. Beaten to death by a passing Israeli who couldn’t be arsed to waste a bullet on him.
Quite fitting, really.
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(Link thanks to Sir Christopher)
A BBC executive died in mysterious circumstances after stripping off her clothes and walking into the sea.
Kari Boto, 53, was plucked from the water by a helicopter crew and taken to the hospital where her husband works as a doctor.
Nothing mysterious about it. Just another self-righteous, socialist sow convinced that she could walk on water.
Until it turned out that she couldn’t.
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Why does it sometimes take so long before the predictably outraged discover something to be outraged about in what I wrote? Aren’t they paying attention? But eventually they do, which never fails to put a smile on my face. Dance, my little puppets, dance:
I’ve commented before on the ignorance and intellectual incompetence of the self-styled ‘Emperor’ Misha, proporietor [sic] of the blog ‘Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler’.
Who is, at the very least, sufficiently competent to spell “proprietor”, but we digress.
He has provided new proof that wingnuts don’t really want law and order — they just want what they want, and to hell with any thought of doing it legally.
Oh? And how do you intend to prove that? Be still, my beating heart.
In a post regarding the arrest of an Australian man for allegedly firing a shot through the front door of his home to scare off intruders, he says:
Let’s revisit the arrested Aussie’s claim of “allegedly” having fired a shot to scare off intruders, shall we?:
The would-be intruders had thrown rocks through the front window and cut the home’s power supply before trying to jemmy open the front door.
Yep, I’d say that any reasonable person would conclude that the homeowner had reason to believe that there were some real intruders in need of being scared off. Note the operative word “reasonable” here. That means “not you”, “Thinking” Meat.
So what did I say that had “Thinking” Meat performing acrobatics through the flaming hoop that I had thoughtfully put out for him?
It’s a pity that he didn’t save a few rounds for the cops. That’s the only sure way to deal with Gestapo tyrants and their henchmen who are “only follovink orderz.” After a while, they get nervous from hauling the perforated bodies of their fellow goons back to the morgue.
And what did my little trained troll puppy have to say to that?
So Misha advocates killing cops rather than doing what civilized people do when they disagree with the law, which is to work to get the law changed.
Well, leaving aside for the moment (because it’s bloody pointless) the task of explaining hyperbole to “Thinking” Meat, there are situations in which “working to change the law” just isn’t an option and, more importantly, there are certain unalienable, inviolable rights that cannot be taken away by any law made by mere men, and any attempt to do so is illegal from the word “go”, no matter what “justifications” the tyrants may come up with.
That’s the larger issue.
Give us more, O Emperor! »« AIIIEEEE! My EYES!
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Let’s hope that the Breck Girl™ and HIS family are standing right next to the next Bumper Sticker™ that goes off, instead of innocent victims.
LONDON — Police thwarted an apparent terror attack early Friday after an ambulance crew reported seeing a smoking car parked near Piccadilly Circus that turned out to be packed with gasoline, nails, gas cylinders, and a detonator.
The explosives — safely defused by a bomb squad — were powerful enough to have caused “significant injury or loss of life” — possibly killing hundreds, British anti-terror police chief Peter Clarke said.
That’s some powerful Bumper Sticker™ there, Deadwards. How about you put one of those on your Carbon Neutral Limousine™? Also, while you’re at it, how about having The Chappaquiddick Swimmer™ be your chauffeur?
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No, not for me, but our friend LC Yochanon and his mom, who are in the process of being run off their land by a corporation that, I assume, have “better” plans for their family homestead. They’ve been beating the bastards off for 2 years to the best of their abilities, but obviously that’s no problem for a corporation. They’re not about to run out of funds, which is why they almost always win. Not because they’re right, but because their opponents go bankrupt just trying to defend themselves.
At any rate, before I get incoherent with rage, LC Yochanon, his mom and I would appreciate it a lot if any of you have any ideas/contacts/brilliant strategies, so have at it in the comments. If separate communications need to be set up, we can always do it through me.
Thanks in advance.
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One of the dysfunctional retards at the Wall Street Journal is wondering who the deep-pocketed Mr. Moneybags behind the obviously hugely expensive YouTube attack ads made by Hot Air can be.
Gee, Wall Street Journal, we don’t know. Could it be one of the millionaire racist bigots against amnesty, funding the anti-amnesty attack ads that no RINO will fund? Or could it be done by, you know, a couple of happy amateurs with some video editing software, a microphone and a bit of publicly available footage?
It’s an enigma wrapped in a mystery and stuffed way up the rectum of a borderline braindead Wall Street Journal employee.
Is it true what we’ve heard about Murdoch considering buying the WSJ?
If so, he’s either going to have to lay off a lot of people, or the mail room at the WSJ is going to be more crowded than a shed outside a Home Depot in the middle of Illegal Season.
[Full disclosure for the benefit of passing Wall Street Journal gimps: This post was created by a highly skilled 20-man team of trained professional consultants, state-of-the-art technology and software and funded entirely by a mysterious multi-national corporation that we shall refer to only as “Those Damn Joooos!” Total cost was $37 billion and a bit of change.]
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Maybe the times really are a-changing.
Washington - Public school districts may not use race as the deciding factor in assigning students to schools.
While the race of a student can be one of many characteristics taken into consideration to achieve diversity in the student body, it may not become the predominant criterion that determines which students are admitted to the most popular schools in a district.
In a major 5-to-4 decision announced Thursday, the US Supreme Court struck down race-based public school enrollment plans in Seattle and Louisville, Ky., that were designed to maintain racially integrated student populations. The majority justices said the plans were unconstitutional because they relied too heavily on race in violation of the mandate that all Americans be treated equally regardless of skin color or ethnicity.
“What do the racial classifications at issue here do, if not accord differential treatment on the basis of race?” asks Chief Justice John Roberts in his majority opinion.
The usual plantation massas in the DemCong and their wholly owned subsidiaries are, of course, outraged.
[Update: outrage, wailing and gnashing of teeth along with an army of straw men: Democrats bash court diversity ruling-Sorry Boss, too good not to cap the post with-JB ]
As to ourself, we find it highly encouraging to note that a majority on the Supreme Court finally realize that racism is racism, regardless of the color of the race being given preferential treatment.
And before you give Jorge too much credit for this, we would remind you that he was the first one to clap his fins together like a circus seal when the University of Michigan ruling endorsing racism as wholly appropriate as long as it’s the right race getting the benefits of it came down three years ago.
We’d also like to remind you that the only reason that we have Samuel Alito on the Supreme Court instead of one of Jorge’s incompetent secretary buddies is that we smacked him upside the head with a Clue-by-Four and forced him to do so. He had to be dragged, kicking and screaming all the way.
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It’s hardly a surprise that quite a few of the “Nay” votes were thrown by pro-amnesty shitheels after it became obvious that the bill would fail. “Hey, why go down with a sinking ship, and we all know that the stupid voters won’t be able to see through a transparent ploy like that, right?”
Senators, you don’t have to do anything more to prove what you think of We The People, so why do you keep trying?
But one of the more egregious examples of fair weather friendliness or, more accurately, scrambling for the lifeboats on the Titanic, was Senator Brownnose. You know, the one who wants to be your President.
He didn’t just sit back and wait to see how the “loudmouthed bigots, racists and Nazis who don’t want to do what’s right for America” would vote, oh no. He votes “Aye” and then, when it became clear that Bush/McKennedy/Graham was going to sink like a lead balloon, decided that he really wanted to vote “Nay.”
Senator Brownbutt, “I voted for it before I voted AGAINST it!”
And he wants to be your President.
Just thought that you’d like to know just how stupid he thinks that you are.
UPDATE: And let’s not forget George “Weepy” Voinobitch who, while he was being slapped around like a redheaded and exceptionally retarded stepchild on Sean Hannity’s talk radio show the other day, uttered the following:
I’ve had people at my back calling because of programs like yours saying, “If you vote for this bill, then it’s the end of your political career.” And I just want you to know, and I want everyone else to know: You. Do. Not. Intimidate. George Voinovich. This is my 40th year in this business.
Today George “Kleenex” Weepybitch, after having carefully waited to cast his vote until it was clear that Zhamnesty ‘07 would fail to achieve cloture, voted a purely CYA “Nay.”
We’d say that George “Spineless” Slivowitz is well beyond his sell-by date. Let’s make sure that he’ll be out of a job as soon as possible, so the poor, crying old codger won’t have to be intimidated any more, because obviously his alligator pie hole is firmly attached to a humming bird arse.
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(Click for full size)
Now go make your own.
UPDATE: Is gloating unseemly?
The heck it is! We’re sure that somehow, some day, they’re going to try to resurrect the zombie, but for now all of y’all calling, writing, faxing and emailing incessantly have earned yourselves a big, fat, obnoxiously loud gloating party.
Give yourselves a huge pat on the back and, from the Empire itself, here’s a huge
Go have a beer on me, all of you!
UPDATE the Second: Want to know just HOW much you all deserve a pat on the back and a couple of gallons of your beverage of choice? Go read LC & IB Bill Quick’s analysis of what all of this means.
Some may say that he’s overstating his case a bit, but I don’t think so.
Keep in mind: El
President Weeniedente Jorge Arbusto [C’mon, Sire. You coined it, y’might as well get some mileage out of it. (grin) -S.] had his bully pulpit, the RINO leadership, the slimiest, most determined members of the Dem Cong, all of the MSM as WELL as the usual gaggle of activist behemoth organizations on his side lined up against us to push this piece of shit Bill through. EVERY SINGLE ONE of the force multipliers usually considered vital in politics were on his side and he and his goons didn’t back down an inch throughout.
Against all of that, we lined up ourselves and the new media. Conventional wisdom would suggest that it would be like that Chinese student in Tianmen Square trying to stop a tank with his body.
But not only did we defeat Bush’s Shamnesty, we knocked it dead in its tracks. Not even a watered-down compromise was left of it.
If that’s not a victory, then I don’t know what is. I agree with Bill: We’re at a turning point here.
And we have a watershed victory well worth celebrating.
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