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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Archive for August, 2007
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Archive for August, 2007

No words… No words at all…

Comments 45 Comments »

At least not if you’re a cluefucked retard scumbag goblin like Kaleb Nelson of Colorado (h/t LC Lorraine):

Devon Barker says he was about to get out of the car when the robber stuck a gun into the driver’s side window and demanded money.

Barker says he got out of the car, went around the backside, and tackled the robber. Barker says he punched the robber, but the man managed to get away.

Boulder Police arrested 20-year-old Kaleb Nelson a short time later at an apartment a block away from the Spanish Towers.

Normally we wouldn’t bother to post about something that doesn’t involve the immediate assumption of room temperature by a goblin, but there’s something about an armed goblin with all of the advantages over his intended victim getting a thorough thrashing that we find too irresistibly funny to let go.

Have fun in the clink, Kaleb, especially when it comes to explaining how you got busted on aggravated robbery charges after being beaten by an unarmed victim.

We predict that you’ll be needing to put a 2 by 4 across every barstool you ever try to sit upon after you get out, in order to not slide down and have your well-used ass hit the floor.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Comments 23 Comments »

(Found at LC & IB Ace’s)

For the past year, Ventura, 38, and his wife Trisha, 34, have been living in a cramped FEMA trailer, parked outside of their Lakeview home just a few hundred feet away from the 17th Street Canal.

Before Katrina or “pre-K” as the locals say, Ventura worked in real estate and owned several rental properties. But all of that changed when the levees broke. Storm surge from Lake Pontchartrain inundated their house with 7.5 feet of water. The couple were displaced, and to make ends meet Ventura took a temporary job as a loss verifier for the Small Business Administration. His wife continued her studies in occupational therapy.

Ventura, like many others, feels like New Orleans has been forgotten.

“America really doesn’t give a s*** about New Orleans. We forget. The bridge that collapsed [in Minnesota] — it’s gone, it’s yesterday’s news. The miners — if they’re not digging a sixth hole, we forget about them. We as a society, we really don’t give a damn,” Ventura said.

Not anymore, that’s for damn sure, but that’s only because we’re everloving fucking sick and tired of listening to you Nawlins whiny babies, after well over a hundred billion dollars’ worth (that’s “billion” with a “B”) of aid has been thrown at you, still screeching and blaming everybody else for the lack of progress in your skeeter-infested swamp.

“Forgotten” about you? Give me a fucking BREAK here, will you? How the fuck are we SUPPOSED to forget when you assnuggets keep wailing like demented banshees? We’re STILL “treated” to endless news reportages about your horrible plight that, apparently, is the only Bad Thing™ happening in the world that is worthy of coverage. I fucking WISH that I could forget about you so I wouldn’t have to spend so much time counting slowly to a hundred to keep me from shooting my damn TV set.

Listen, at this only goes for the whiners, it would be ever so fucking nice if you’d take a breath and a few seconds to say, I don’t know, fucking THANK YOU for all of the help we’ve unloaded on your craven, idiotic arses in order to help you fix the mess that the morons that YOU IDIOTS continue to elect created for you.

Not to be unnecessarily rough on you here, but after a while it gets somewhat tiresome to hear complaints about the flavor of the beer from a fuckhead who has spent months with his mouth firmly attached to the tap.

How about Mississippi and Alabama? Strangely enough, we haven’t heard much howling and demanding from those people, but maybe it’s because they’re too busy with CLEANING UP.

So shut up, already, or I’ll be spending a lot of time praying that the next hurricane finishes the job.

Thatisall.

Comments 116 Comments »

As we launch the first this-one-counts Perfect Football Weekend™ of the year, the Department of Ew, Just Ew™ alerts us to a charter member of the next generation of the Washington Redskins most well-known group of fans, the Hog-ettes.

A student at Sunset High School arrived for a second time Wednesday morning trying to register for class.

But it’s what 17-year-old Luis Valderamma wears that has created issues with administrators.

He’s a cross dresser, attired Wednesday in capri pants and heels.

“This is how I feel comfortable. This is me,” Valderamma said.

The student was sent home on Monday, but on Wednesday, school officials did allow him to register and attend class.

The DISD would not elaborate on any further agreements about his wardrobe.

“I’m not a distraction. There’s nothing in the rules that says I can’t wear girl clothes,” he said. “I see girls up here with saggy jeans. They come dressed up like boys. That’s going to be a distraction, too.”

Valderamma says he’s willing to compromise somewhat and wear capris instead of skirts.

But he says his choices are limited, as he has already bought his entire girl wardrobe for the school year.

I would pay Honest-To-Cthulu Real Money™ if this wussbag would go out for the Sunset football team. 

Awright, let’s get to it.  Tonight, the Dallas Cowboys play their last preseason game up in NoBridgeVille Minnesota as they visit the Vikings.  Widdle Terri Owens has already said that the stars are scheduled for “zero snaps” (his words).  Look for a ViQueens win, as the Cowboys get a heavy dose of former OU back Adrian Peterson.  (And, as this game is  preseason, it won’t count in the final PFW tally.)

Also tonight, Turner Gill’s UBuffalo Bulls play the role of sacrificial opening-night lamb vs. the 16th-ranked Rutgers Scarlet Knights.  A Vegas gaming site, to which I will hereinafter refer as “Vegas”, has the Scarlet Knights at -32½, so as long as the Bulls can keep from getting beat by 47, it’s a win.

In addition, the Bo Pelini-run defense of the #2-ranked LSU Tigers pays a visit to Starkville, MS to feast on Sylvester Croom’s Mississippi State Bulldogs.  ESPN thinks Croom could be fighting to save his job, and LSU’s going to be of no help whatsoever.  The line is LSU -18½, and I don’t think it’s going to be that  close.

Friday night, the “hah skrewlers” (a takeoff of a little Rush lingo, there) get back in action - and if it’s the first game of the season, it must be the Azle Hornets for my (Fort Worth, for you LCs) Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets.  Heights got in the playoffs last year with a losing record (a fact which I chronicled here), and they’re not much better this year, so the playoffs are a remote shot - as will be successful PFWs. 

Speaking of sacrificial lambs, the University of North Texas Eagles, under the direction of former Texas high-school coaching phenom Todd Dodge, goes to Norman Saturday evening at 7:00 to get their heads ripped off by #8 Oklahoma.

The line is OU by 40½.  Welcome to the NCAA, Todd. 

Finally, the 22nd-ranked Texas Christian University Horned Frogs will host the Baylor Bears and former TCU lineman (now Bear coach) Guy Morriss at 5 pm Saturday (this is where His Rudeness™ will be screaming his head off for the three hours following).  The story is that all spring & summer, Morriss has talked about nothing else but this game, been preparing for nothing else but  this game.

Trouble is, he did that last year too - and TCU pulled the upset in Waco.

TCU’s starting a freshman at quarterback, however, so this game (as they all will) scares me, even though TCU’s favored by 21.  I will have no  nails by game’s end.  Bank on that.

We’re back Monday or so for the recap.  In the meantime, now  it counts, so let’s hear the trash talk! 

Comments 27 Comments »

Actually, it was a year ago, but it was just brought to my attention.

In this case, the Cupid Stunt attacks a blogger, accusing him of supporting theft of intellectual property because he linked to and quoted an article that, apparently, used a different article as source material without proper accreditation.

Yep, that’s right. In the future, be sure to find out if any article you link to in turn got its source material without proper accreditation because if you don’t, Tits on a Chair will call YOU a thief or, at the very least, somebody who supports theft.

Read the whole conversation here. It’s hilarious.

Oh, and will somebody please send her a version of “How to Make Friends and Influence People”, along with a copy of “Jumping to Conclusions: It’s NOT an Olympic Discipline”, both of them preferably in the illustrated pre-K versions?

On second thoughts, please don’t, since it might rob us of a major source of unintended hilarity.

Comments 62 Comments »

Considering I almost forgot myself, this being back to work stuff is for the birds, however it keeps the bill collectors from the incessant calls etc. and more importantly the missus in shoes.

on air

Nonetheless it is Rant Day on Tuesday Truth 7-10 pm CT over at RadioCIA. Just click the Tuesday Truth link and if you don’t have another player installed, the Windows Media Player will function as a default when clicked upon.

We do recommend either WinAmp or JetAudio for the best sound quality and they are free downloads. That Listen Now page provides all the instruction you need to get the WinAmp player DL’d up and running. The stream URL is: http://ct5.fast-serv.com:8528 , to enter directly into your external player and don’t forget to bookmark it.

You can reach me on-air via the tuesdaytruth Yahoo IM account or ciarequest@gmail.com, to request a particular song for the break sets. (If… 1. I have it in the library and 2. I feel like playing it.) It does get rather busy, so please be patient for me to respond to your IM.

Get dinner taken care of, settle the kids in front of the TV (or to bed) and tune in. Mild PG rated as always, so speakers are safe for little ears regardless.

Thanks Y’all- JB

Comments 2 Comments »

Well, to paraphrase an old stand-up comic…last night I watched a Michael Vick public burial and a football game broke out.

Dallas 16, Pew-stun 14, Mike Carey’s Blind-Assed Excuse for an Officiating Crew 14
Jacksonville 21, Green Bay 13
New England 24, Carolina 7
Pittsburgh 27 Philadelphia 13
Atlanta 24, Cincinnati 19

Was that a football game last night or a public wringing-of-the-hands-in-angst over the Widdle Mikey Vick imbroligio?  I mean, you couldn’t go five minutes without Tirico, Jaworski & Kornheiser bringing it up.  What, was PeTA writing the fookin’ script or something?

Anyway, Joey Harrington didn’t look all that bad in leading the Falcons to a win at home, throwing two touchdown passes in about a half’s worth of work.  Carson Palmer had a couple of touchdown passes for the Bengals - the first ones of their preseason.  It didn’t help that they had 14 players out with injuries.

Who says you need reps in practice?  Not Pats quarterback Tom Brady:

Two days after Brady missed practice to fly to Los Angeles where his ex-girlfriend, actress Bridget Moynahan, gave birth to their son, Brady returned to the Patriots and was nearly flawless in New England’s 24-7 exhibition win over the Carolina Panthers on Friday.

Ah, but just wait until he gets hit with the child support papers. 

There’s just no pleasing some people.

Ben Rothelisberger throws for damn-near 250 yards, leads the Steelers on three scoring drives (okay, so two of ‘em were FGs - whatever), and he’s pissed about it:

“No, I’m not real happy,” he said. “We missed a couple of things, some things could have been better, but I told some of those guys I’ll get better and I’ll be sure to hit them.”

Sheesh.

OTOH, how long before the Philthy fans (did I really say that?    ) start clamoring for Kevin Kolb to replace Donna McFlabb as the starter?  The World’s Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever™ was only 5-of-11 for 60 yards, while Kolb went 26-of-37 for 242.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:  Eleven-on-eighteen is not a fair fight.

Dallas goes three-and-out on its first possession, then punts to little pipsqueak Jackoff Jacoby Jones, who promptly runs 91 yards the other way for the first Tex-anne touchdown.

Except that Pewstun committed a clip of the left-side gunner on the play.

Except that it wasn’t called.  Fucking excuse-for-a-side judge looked right at it  - and didn’t call it.  Pretty much de rigueur  for the ‘Boys the rest of the night:  Get mugged by Pewstun - no call.  Breathe on a Tex-anne - 10 yard penalty.

Romo didn’t have a great game, though he did throw TDs each to Widdle Terri Owens and Jason Witten.  The offensive line was just that - offensive; the running game was non-existant.  And Martin Grammitica has kicked himself out of a job for the second straight year, missing the PAT on the Owens TD (he’ll get cut this week or next with an injury settlement - you heard it here first).

Terrence Newman showed why he’s the Dallas defensive MVP.  He missed the game with plantar facsitis (sp?) in his heel, forcing the other cornerbacks to move up a spot.  Whereupon backup Jacques Reeves got beat for a 20-yard rainbow for a touchdown by the aforementioned Jackoff Jones.

(Incidentally, speaking of Jones, he should be damned glad I wasn’t trailing him on that punt return when he did a somersault over the goal line.  My elbows are pretty damned sharp, plus I wouldn’t have had much trouble leading with the crown of my helmet on the late hit.    )

Next PFW is in two days.  And this time, it counts for real (at least, on the HS and NCAA sides).  Start gearing up now, LCs & Denizens.

Comments 23 Comments »

The wonders of Academic Asshattery never cease. Fortunately most of the good science coming from the halls of institutes of higher learning occurred before the mold set in and actual scientific principles was scrupulously followed, to wit: a hypothesis was formulated to explain a particularly consistent behavior (and the hypothesis may very well have multiple explanations) and published, permitting peers to review the work and after considerable debate your theory just might be determined to be sound science or you go back to square one and start over again. But that was yesteryear. Today scientific method involves 1) An agenda that absolutely, positively must be proven, without any variance from the intended result 2) Research (usually paid for by public funds) carefully screened or adjusted to meet the agenda requirements and 3) Immediate publishing of the research results to the public sans any careful peer review.

And thus, we get the following. Alleged scientifically produced evidence (i.e. hard proof) of something, even the author himself finds arguable. But don’t let that stop you from immediately concluding the agenda has been proven and now “settled” science.

Gay Unions Sanctioned in Medieval Europe

Civil unions between male couples existed around 600 years ago in medieval Europe, a historian now says.

A nice conclusive statement isn’t it? Surely there must be incontrovertible evidence of this right?

Historical evidence, including legal documents and gravesites, can be interpreted as supporting the prevalence of homosexual relationships hundreds of years ago, said Allan Tulchin of Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania.

No question whatsoever, homosexuality has been prevalent throughout much of history and well documented in some cases. However, other ‘new’ evidence that the author himself alludes that could be interpreted (differently) doesn’t fall into the category of proof of anything.

If accurate, the results indicate socially sanctioned same-sex unions are nothing new, nor were they taboo in the past.

Hold the presses there. The existence of a legal document in and of itself is no proof of a societal sanction. Our legal system routinely voids various documents, being outside established customs and laws. We’ve seen wills conveying the decedent’s estate to pets that were eventually overturned.

“Western family structures have been much more varied than many people today seem to realize,” Tulchin writes in the September issue of the Journal of Modern History. “And Western legal systems have in the past made provisions for a variety of household structures.”

Why yes, I do believe you are right there anyway. We’ve adjusted family structures for couples with children from previous marriages, adoptions, custody for other than immediate familial relatives and such.

For example, he found legal contracts from late medieval France that referred to the term “affrèrement,” roughly translated as brotherment. Similar contracts existed elsewhere in Mediterranean Europe, Tulchin said.

In the contract, the “brothers” pledged to live together sharing “un pain, un vin, et une bourse,” (that’s French for one bread, one wine and one purse). The “one purse” referred to the idea that all of the couple’s goods became joint property. Like marriage contracts, the “brotherments” had to be sworn before a notary and witnesses, Tulchin explained.

Let me toss some other possibilities into ‘your’ maybe it is true hypothesis here. Throughout the medieval period numerous brotherhoods and sisterhoods sprang up, often related to religious practices. The Templars are one group that comes to mind. They were known as the ‘Poor Knights’ upon their induction into the order, they took a pledge of poverty, transferred their wealth to the order and pledged allegiance to their fellow Templars as brothers. Females entering convents also took similar pledges of poverty, piety and fealty to the particular order. An unbiased observer might conclude that considering the relative popularity of various orders such as these just might include legal documentation of their vows. I just happen to be a Notary Public myself, the notaries of the time were generally scribes, just ordinary citizens that could read and write. A notarized document is merely certification that the signatory parties are who they say they are, the document was not signed under duress and the statements and facts therein are the truth. A notarized document does NOT make any conclusion whatsover, that in this case the ‘contract’ has legal validity. Hells Bells you could have a mafia “Hit Contract” notarized if you really wanted to.

The same type of legal contract of the time also could provide the foundation for a variety of non-nuclear households, including arrangements in which two or more biological brothers inherited the family home from their paents and would continue to live together, Tulchin said.

Go ahead, keep inserting your foot into your mouth even further. Why don’t you?

But non-relatives also used the contracts. In cases that involved single, unrelated men, Tulchin argues, these contracts provide “considerable evidence that the affrèrés were using affrèrements to formalize same-sex loving relationships.” [Emph Mine]

Possibly, but you’ve provided a lot of evidence to the contrary. But don’t let common sense stop you from drawing a conclusion supporting your agenda. I do notice that on the path to ‘proving’ your agenda, the use of a number of disclaimers emnating from your piehole.

The ins-and-outs of the medieval relationships are tricky at best to figure out.

Buuuuwwwwaaaaahhhhaaaaaa….You just can’t make this shit up. All those tricky ins-and-outs. No doubt Mr. Tulchin has explored every possible combination of said activities.

“I suspect that some of these relationships were sexual, while others may not have been,” Tulchin said. “It is impossible to prove either way and probably also somewhat irrelevant to understanding their way of thinking. They loved each other, and the community accepted that.” [Emph Mine Yet Again]

Backpedal, cover your ass and proceed you ass-hatted academic chancre. If you take a look at most current religious orders, we are taught to view one another as brother and sisters in faith and with love. You know that pesky Bible book, that some of us plebes actually read, understand and believe in, tell us to do exactly that. It’s not an argument for homosexual love, you simpering, booger-eater.

Do keep on digging, just don’t mind if we piss in your hole from time to time.

Comments 78 Comments »

And I say that knowing full well that self-respecting rocks everywhere will be wanting to kick my arse severely for gratuitously, needlessly and unfairly insulting them like that.

I mean, just look at this clip, courtesy of the Imperial Blogsis.

Now kindly, calmly, patiently explain to me how in the name of Ba’al’s scrotal sac that, that, specimen managed to survive to teen-hood without strangling itself on its diapers, because I sure as HECK can’t imagine.

Oh, and a note to its parents: Please, please, PLEASE tell me that you didn’t breed beyond giving birth to that freakishly fatheaded abomination. I’ve seen fungi more capable of expressing a coherent thought than that numbskulled freak of nature, and fungi don’t have the right to vote.

Thinking about that two-legged fence post voting scares the SHIT out of me.

Comments 65 Comments »

After many calls, emails, and Yahoo instant message questions, I can unequivocally state that all is well with His Sithiness, Emperor Misha I, and family. What with all the minor details of moving the Palace, executions of recalcitrant servants and staff, sighting in all approaches into the security zone, planting mines and claymores (yes, the shipment arrived), there has been no time left for the normal avalanche of fine posts here at the Rott from da’ Boss.

Furthermore, the task of actually making a living, that even our Emperor is forced to submit to, is beginning to pile up.

I’ve been in direct contact, via secure channels with the Palace and all is well at the Imperial Clocktower™.

Thanks to our loyal readers for the concern and the rest of the Imperial Staph will do our best to keep a multitude of rants, raves and fisks of the first-order coming daily. Trust me, we’ll return to assimilation of the blogosphere quite soon at full strength.

END MESSAGE-JB SENDS-NO CARRIER @%#$$%^^&^&&&@######

Comments 19 Comments »