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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Archive for August, 2007
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Archive for August, 2007

(Via the Jawa Report).

David Beckham and Justin Timberlake are the targets of an alleged Al-Qaeda murder plot.

A chilling internet video, which has been posted on YouTube, brands Becks, 32, and JT, 26, as criminal influences on young Muslims.

Fellow footballers Wayne Rooney and Thierry Henry, as well as rapper P Diddy, are also mentioned.

Why is Al-Qaeda trying to do us a favor all of a sudden?

I’m confused.

Comments 60 Comments »

On Lifelike Pundits. Read the whole thing, but here’s the money quote:

* U.S. spy agencies, which were overseen by Tenet, lacked a comprehensive strategic plan to counter Osama bin Laden prior to 9/11. The inspector general concluded that Tenet “by virtue of his position, bears ultimate responsibility for the fact that no such strategic plan was ever created.”

* The CIA’s analysis of al-Qaida before Sept. 2001 was lacking. No comprehensive report focusing on bin Laden was written after 1993, and no comprehensive report laying out the threats of 2001 was assembled. “A number of important issues were covered insufficiently or not at all,” the report found.

OK Kostards (and various and sundry other bleating bumblefarts), tell us again how Bu$hHitlerMcHalliCheney “dropped the ball.”

Aren’t you supposed to be actually handed a ball before you can “drop” it?

Comments 32 Comments »

Waitaminit™ - I think the G-men just got called for another penalty…

Miami 11, Kansas City 10
Minnesota 37, NY Jets 20
Dallas 31, Denver 20
NY Giants 13, Baltimore 12
Chicago 27, Indianapolis 24

Patrick Cobbs (late of the University of North Texas) scored a late touchdown and jackass Mormon John Beck - sorry, I still have it in for him for the TCU game last year - got the two-point conversion that sent the Chiefs down to defeat at home.  The Chiefs are a little banged up right now (they’re missing pretty much their entire backfield from last year at the moment) and have only one offensive TD in the preseason (according to the linked report).

Even though OU’s Adrian Peterson ran tough for the Vikings, Mizzou’s Brad Smith got to play his rendition of Kordell “Slash” Stewart for the Jets, and even former Cowboy bust (dammit) Drew Henson got into the act, the highlight of Minn-NYJ was a calico cat that got caught on the toob gallivanting across the endzone halfway through the fourth quarter.  Smith didn’t see him, opting instead for a handoff. 

Baltimore & the New York G-Men played a very  sloppy game, even for preseason - the teams combined for 23 penalties for a grand total of 177 yards - and those were just the accepted ones. 

Chicago got its revenge, I guess.  If you wanna call a three-point preseason win revenge. (shrug)  Adrian Peterson had a sorry night for Da Bears™ (5 carries, 8 yards), but he did  score a touchdown.  (OTOH, if the best Chicago can do is 68 yards rushing on a fast track vs. the Indy run defense with  Cedric Benson & company - well, Urlacher had best have another career year.)

Side note before we go on:  Look at the last part of the scoring recap:

Craphonso Thorpe 4 Yd Pass From Josh Betts (Shane Andrus Kick)

Great Honkin’ Cthulu™, W(ho)TF names their kid “Craphonso”?????  Damn.  Just, damn.

Since the Cowboy game was on the See-BS affiliate, KDFW-TV decided to put the San Diego-St. Louis game on its sister station.  San Diego pretty much dominated.

The Bolts have gone back to the ugly-assed white helmets from their old AFL days, plus an ugly font for their numbers.  Ew.

Think Norv Turner doesn’t realize this is his last chance at a head coaching gig?  Last play of the game, his Chargers comfortably in front, 30-13, and he’s griping about how Ram QB Brock Berlin’s Hail-Mary pass was almost caught for a TD. 

Speaking of Turner - ever wonder what his timing-based offense would have done with a Brett Favre-type quarterback in charge?  Tony Romo is nowhere near Brett’s greatness, but the poor-man’s Favre led the Dallas offense on three very nice-looking drives in the first half (one was fairly short due to a fumble recovery deep in Bronco territory) as the Cowboys rolled.  Romo was 11 of 18 for 122 with several timely passes for 10-yard-plus gains, though he did have one pick.  Julius Jones & Marion Barber managed 88 yards between them, and Tyson Thompson got 75 all by himself against scrubs.

The ‘Boys are running right a good deal more this year to the right side (one TD came going that route) - Leonard Davis may be the signing of the year if he can keep up this performance level.

Only one sack by the defense for the game, but constant pressure on Bronco quarterbacks forced several errant throws (Bobby Carpenter managed one interception).  Nate Jones may have just played his way out of Dallas, whiffing on a pass that turned into a 90-yard Bronco touchdown.

But the most oddball note comes from Mike Klis of the Denver Pissed Post, who reported that the Broncos were apparently a little torqued that Dallas…well…played football.

“I don’t know if Wade’s (ticked) off the Broncos fired him, but it sure looked that way,” Broncos safety John Lynch said.

Lynch wanted to make it clear he was joking.

But as a safety entering his 15th season, Lynch is qualified to know football’s unwritten rules better than most. The Broncos played their base, seven-man front on defense Saturday and, because their offensive line is so banged up, tried to employ a conservative plan when they had the ball.

“That’s not what they did,” Lynch said. “They came out and game- planned us, blitzing every play. They came after us. It’s no excuse for the way we played. But I think they might have broken the code of ethics for the preseason.”

A few other Broncos, including quarterback Jay Cutler, shared similar feelings about the Cowboys getting a little too aggressive with their approach to a preseason game

What, guys?  You were expecting a nice, friendly game of tiddlywinks?  Sheesh. 

The PFW will return in a couple days.

Comments 17 Comments »

Sorry, but this isn’t somebody I’d vote for:

“My position for many years has been that just as a motorist must have a license, a gun owner should be required to have one as well. Anyone wanting to own a gun should have to pass a written exam that shows that they know how to use a gun, that they’re intelligent enough and responsible enough to handle a gun. Should both handgun and rifle owners be licensed…we’re talking about all dangerous weapons.”

Yep. That’s Rudy Bradiani on the subject of the 2nd Amendment, and he can now officially go fuck himself with one of Hitlery’s used tampons as far as I’m concerned.

Sorry, you cluefucked Noo Yawker, but there’s a slight difference between the right to keep and bear arms and the privilege to drive a vehicle on public roads.

Right.

Privilege.

Not the same, you retarded, ratfaced rump ranger.

How about we establish a test, a written exam to prove that political candidates are intelligent and responsible enough to hold office before we let them run? All of you overpaid, underworked, corrupt, thieving, lying, totalitarian wankers would be out of a job overnight.

You start making “lists”, I pull the safety off the reset button.

Capisce?

Comments 59 Comments »

The Rott is banned in Iran.

I know, I know — it is disappointing.  You tried so hard to be accepted, but what can you do?

I was checking server speeds through Host-Tracker, which checks server response times with 78 nodes all around the world.  It just so happens that Host Iran, THE Internet gateway in Tehran, Iran no longer allows traffic to visit this site. 

I check all of the sites I work on every week and it would allow traffic a week ago, and it allows traffic to a lot of other sites, but no longer.

So now you’ve done it — you’ve gone and pissed off the Mullahs.

BTW:  IsraPundit just got banned this week also.

Comments 136 Comments »

Just picked up this quote from LC & IB Dan Riehl:

Clinton said new tactics have brought some success against insurgents, particularly in Iraq’s Anbar province.

“It’s working. We’re just years too late in changing our tactics,” she said. “We can’t ever let that happen again. We can’t be fighting the last war. We have to keep preparing to fight the new war.”

Jumpin’ Jehosaphat on a Factory Tuned Pogo Stick, woman, how fucking dim can any single humanoid be?

You always “fight the last war” until you learn better. Put down your cattle futures and crack open a history book, you over-educated simpleton. The “last war” is all you have to go on when a new one starts, you rampaging rectal protuberance. What? You’re expecting divine inspiration, perhaps? The question isn’t about “fighting the last war” or not, it’s how long you keep “fighting the last war” after events begin to unfold and I will, reluctantly, grant you that the current administration hasn’t been overly impressive when it comes to thinking outside of the box. If those clowns had been in charge during WWII, we’d still be pondering whether invading Normandy would be a good idea in 1958.

But spare me the soundbites, please. I’ve forgotten more about military history than you’ll ever learn, so you’re not impressing anybody except for the morbidly ignorant.

Another blast of idiocy from the Hildebeest that I just can’t let pass:

Clinton said she wanted to restore America’s image abroad.

“People have to root for America,” she said. “They have to want to be on our side.”

Why, Hillary von Clausewitz? Granted, it would be awfully nice if everybody in the world stood up and cheered us on. It would also be nice if we had flying cars and the laws of physics could be repealed and altered as we see fit. Not to mention that I’d really like for money to grow on trees. But now that we’re done with the infantile wishful thinking that runs completely counter to every single record of history, could we please leave the perfect world and get back to Walgreen’s?

Whether the rest of the world like it or not is utterly immaterial. What matters is if it’s best for us, because we’re the only ones to whom we and, more specifically, the government of our nation has an obligation. I don’t really care whether the fwench would love to serially felch us all if doing so requires us to give up everything that makes us America. All I have to say to them and anybody feeling like they do is “you can either get on the train, step aside or get the fuck run over. I don’t give a flying flip.”

Dumb cow.

Comments 16 Comments »

I found this at Urban Scrawl

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

  • An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
  • An old friend who once saved your life.
  • The perfect woman (or man) of your dreams.

There can only be one passenger in your car and you can’t return to the bus stop once you have left it. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to?

Think before you answer. This is a moral / ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job selection process, so your future could depend on how you answer this question.

What would you do?

I posted the answer at comment #29

Comments 59 Comments »

Found at Hot Air:

“Listen, you silly taxpayers, we’re here to look pretty and march up and down the parade ground in our snazzy looking uniforms. What the fuck do you think we are, civil servants or something?

Border Patrol agents dont have the responsibility of apprehending illegal immigrants, Carlos X. Carrillo, chief patrol agent for the Laredo sector, said at a town hall meeting Wednesday.”The Border Patrol is not equipped to stop illegal immigrants,” Carrillo said, noting that illegal narcotics are also not on the agents priority list.

“The Border Patrol mission is not to do any of those things,” he emphasized.

Oh, I get it: The Border Patrol’s job is to patrol the border. Anything beyond that is just too much hard work. You know, all that silly crap about protecting the borders and making sure that they aren’t violated.

It’s pretty obvious that somebody is in dire need of re-assignment to something more in keeping with his severely limited abilities. Like, say, assistant trainee railroad track shit-scraper without benefits. Oh, but he’s not saying that they’re not supposed to do anything at all, you know:

The Border Patrols mission is to keep the country safe from terrorist and terrorist weapons, he said. Carrillo added that when and if terrorists come into the country, the agents will be ready.

Well, we damn well better hope that the wily terrorists make sure to wear their big “I’m a Terrorist, Not Just Another Illegal Immigrant” signs so the poor dumbfucks with the Border Patrol know who to stop and who to let right through. I mean, otherwise the overpaid, underworked, incompetent retards might have to actually investigate individuals entering the country illegally and, as he just told us, that just isn’t the job of the Border Patrol. Maybe it’s the job of the Boy Scouts or the Audubon Society.

Carrillo said the Carrizo cane along the river is an environmental challenge. He said that before enforcing any type of fence, the Carrizo canes need to be addressed, allowing agents to patrol and spot traffic in the river.

What would be the point? After all, if all you’re supposed to be doing is spotting illegals entering the country, then who cares?

Mayor Raul Salinas spoke to the audience about using taxpayer money to build a fence.

“I want a secure border, but I want more common sense,” Salinas said, adding that the fence would affect relations with Mexico.

Sorry, Senor Salinas, but those relations have already been severely affected by Mexico using us as a dumping ground for about 12-20 million of their undesirables, so pardon me for not giving a rodent’s rectum about hurting their widdle feewings.

A concerned citizen, who lives on property about 34 miles out of Laredo on Interstate 35, said she has seen from 20 to 50 illegal immigrants daily. She said agents have addressed the situation before, but they can only do so much and the situation continues.

Carrillo responded that the Border Patrol will look into the issue.

And that, apparently, is all that they’re going to do if Carrillo has a say in it. After all, actual enforcement isn’t the Border Patrol’s job. He just told us that.

Useless fucking morons.

Obligatory disclaimer for the benefit of the hard-of-reading: If you’re one of the Border Patrol agents who hasn’t heard about this non-enforcement policy, somebody who is working his arse off in the searing sun trying to actually do the job that we taxpayers expect you to do, YOU’RE NOT THE TARGET OF THIS RANT. If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it. Go kick Carrillo’s arse for making you all look stupid and lazy instead, it would be a much better use of your time and would be much appreciated by the rest of us. And if you find a tree and a nice length of rope while you’re busy with the arse-kicking… Well, you know what to use that for, don’t you?

Comments 27 Comments »

Found this at the Imperial Firearms Advisor’s:

By Steve Bailey, Globe Columnist | July 20, 2007

There is an epidemic of handgun violence in Boston’s poorest neighborhoods, and the US Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives is investigating me?

How horrid! And why, pray tell, are they investigating lil’ ol’ you?

Twenty months ago, a lifetime in columnist time, I wrote in this space about going to a gun show in New Hampshire. The idea was to see how easy it would be to buy a handgun just across the border from Massachusetts, which has some of the toughest gun laws in the country. The answer: not very hard at all.

I went with John Rosenthal, the Boston gun-control advocate the gun lobby loves to hate, a cop named Andrew Heggie, and a former prison guard, Walter Belair. I also took my kids, who got in free. The cereal makers may be cutting back on marketing to kids, but the gun industry knows it is never to early to target the next generation.

We shopped till we dropped. Someone beat us to the used grenade launcher (price: $190), but it took Belair, a New Hampshire resident and licensed gun owner, less than 20 minutes to complete the purchase of a trashy little .38-caliber revolver, perfect for a night out in Dorchester. The gun, which retails for $349, was bargain-priced at $240, which I had given to Belair. (And, of course, expensed to the Globe.)

Well lookee what we’ve got here. That’s what we call a straw purchase, you silly little GFW moron, and it happens to be very much against the law. As a matter of fact, I seem to recall you GFWs forever whining about straw purchases and the horrible consequences they have for The Childrrrrreeeeennnn™, so why would you do do such a thing?

More importantly, why exactly would you expect to be allowed to walk away from deliberately breaking the law? Because your heart was pure and full of righteousness?

I love the Imperial Firearms Advisor’s analogy (go read it, dammit), but I’ll offer my own nonetheless: I suppose it’s alright that I demonstrate how easy it is to commit burglary by going to your home address, Mr Bailey, breaking in, terrifying you and your family and making off with all of your possessions? I mean, as long as it’s for “research” and I return the belongings to you later, of course.

Moron.

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 34 Comments »

First the Emperor’s Imperial Television decides to take a dump and quit. As I’ve been informed it’s at least fixable. Up next, we learn that the most gracious and lovely Empress’ Imperial Limousine also decides to initiate a job action and quits also (starter no-workee). The Imperial Clocktower™ is quite a few drachmas poorer as a result, but the transportation issue is resolved. The telly should be functional in short order, providing the necessary, however not immediately available parts arrive along with the repair technician.

So at that point the score is awww shit, times two.

But we’re not done yet. Not by a bit. Back to work for my third day to a critical assignment, away I depart in the Ambassador’s trusty (sometimes) sooper sekret spy-vehicle, northwards to the turd-world city otherwise known as Providence, RI. En route the pesky AC converter powering various, asundry devices necessary for my particular line of work, decides to begin incessant screaming, an indication of under-voltage. The laptop computer/GPS doesn’t like it either and goes into standby mode, depriving me of directions within the labyrinthine environs. I twiddle and diddle with the various plugs and wires to no avail. About this time I notice the “Battery Low Voltage” light on the instrument panel is locked in solid.

Not a “Good Thing”. Fortunately the alternator was producing sufficient voltage to allow the ignition system to continue it’s function, lest motivation via shanks-ponies would soon follow. Providence indeed allowed me to abort mission and RTB for repairs. I managed to get it to my local ace mechanic’s garage and lo and behold he has a light schedule today and repairs are in progress as I pen this tale of multiple misfortune and woe. Hopefully in the next few hours and $300 lighter in the bank account, the spy-car will be ready to swing into action once again. Oh did I forget to mention, this followed a battery replacement to the tune of another $75 on Saturday and overdue service at a unnamed lubricating services establishment with a $120 tab.

One day lost wages= Expensive
Automotive Repairs= Very Expensive
Blood Pressure= Astronomical
Shit/Funny Factor= Priceless

The good news should be, the Empire’s bad karma should be dissipated for this week anyway. Maybe.

Good Luck out there, and don’t forget that proper imprecations go a long way to alleviate the stress. When eating the shit-sandwiches of life, it’s best to take large bites, don’t chew and swallow quickly.

F.E.T.E.

[Update #1: Obviously nothing is EVER easy. Seems not only did the alternator quit alternating, but in the process of doing so, burned the wiring harness from the battery. High amperage heat melts copper as well as steel (note to Rosie O’ Donuts). Of course it’s not a simple little piece of nice insulated wire but an entire harness. But wait there’s more, it’s a dealer item and not in stock locally. Wednesday for a delivery date, meaning, your’s truly will be running the tab more stratospheric, renting a vehicle while the other one sits, laughing at it’s owner. As Le Ann Rimes puts it, something’s gotta give. Shoot me. Just SHOOT ME. -JB]

[Update #2: G_d in his infinite wisdom, chose to have mercy on this poor recidivist sinner. My masterful mechanic managed to repair the damaged wiring at no extra charge, saving me an extra $100 on the replacement part. The Aston-Martin DB-Kia is ready to go back to work. But the score is still shit happens in Fours, see Spats comment #11 below. By the way, find a good local garage and mechanic whenever possible, you wouldn’t believe the dealership quote for that repair.-JB]

Comments 32 Comments »