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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Archive for September, 2007
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Archive for September, 2007

John and Allen of Cox & Forkum fame (also knows as the Imperial Ministers of Satire around here) have decided to hang it up.

Sad news indeed, it’s always tough when another member of The Old Guard™ decides that enough is enough, and John and Allen were always two of my favorite members of that exclusive “club.” Nobody I know have been able to capture the political issues of the day and comment on them more efficiently than they, always managing to say more with one cartoon than any of the rest of us blowhards could express on 40 column inches.

On the other hand, having read their farewell, as you should too, I completely understand how they feel. The BlogoSphere, no matter how rewarding, and rewarding it IS, is hard work too, and it pays worse than lousily if at all, at least in terms that creditors will understand. I also know what Allen means when he speaks of “blog weariness” and having to wade through the sewers of politics every day, and it really gets to you. When you combine that with being as committed as he and John are to produce a consistently excellent output on a regular basis, then there will eventually come a time when you’ll have to decide whether your other obligations in life are being neglected. Again, the pay is lousy, life’s circumstances change and creditors will demand payment from time to time, so sometimes one will have to prioritize.

But it still sucks to lose two enormous talents like theirs.

I remember way back when, not long after Black Tuesday, when I first discovered their work. I was floored by their talent, and when they asked me if I’d be willing to use their material, free of charge, on my site I was wondering if they’d lost their minds. I should be paying for that! And it didn’t end there. After that, in return for the “favor” of me using their excellent material for free they sent me not one, but two copies of their first installment of “Black and White World”, both signed. One for reading and wearing to shreds, one for safe keeping.

We stayed in touch for a while after that, they even asked me for my opinion on some of their work once or twice and if I had any ideas I’d like to share, and I was at a loss for words. Not that I don’t think I do a half decent job at what I do, I’m pretty proud of most of it, but I could never do what they do, so to me it was kinda like getting a note from old Master William saying “yo, Mish, what do you think about Hamlet, Prince of Denmark? Any thoughts or suggestions?”

Yes, John and Allen, you’ll be missed.

Good news is that you mentioned that you just might not be able to resist putting out the occasional editorial cartoon anyway.

I intend to hold you to that.

Comments 13 Comments »

Only one item today:

1938 — After the world has watched passively while the palestinians Germans have systematically violated every part of previous accords and treaties the Versailles Treaty while gobbling up Gaza the Rheinland, Condoleezza Rice Neville Chamberlain goes to Cairo Munich to meet with Israel’s enemies the Nazis to discuss how to split up the rest of Israel hand over the Sudetenland in return for “peace.”

Adolf Hitler, once again making good use of the naivety of the appeasing clown Chamberlain, agrees to make the Sudetenland his “last territorial claim in Europe” and Chamberlain returns to London waving Hitler’s worthless promise around while promising “peace in our time.”

Shortly thereafter, Hitler annexes the Sudetenland and, in the spring of the next year, the rest of Czechoslovakia who, unable to defend herself after Chamberlain has handed over her best line of defense to their arch enemy, chooses surrender over certain annihilation and devastation.

Six months after that, Hitler invades Poland as well, beginning what would later be known as World War II.

“Peace in Our Time” indeed.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Comments 6 Comments »

Listen, I know that some of you Northern “conservatives”, particularly those on the Rudy McRomney bandwagon, are scared shitless of any GOP candidate to the right of Chuck Schumer because you think that only a liberal with an “R” next to his name can win in ‘08, but if you think that this is what is going to win an election:

…then I have to ask you why you don’t just cross over to the Hildebeest while you’re at it, because I’m having a damn hard time seeing the difference these days.

(Bonus question: Who’s the half bald, smirking chimpanzee behind Rudy McBradyBunch?)

Comments 19 Comments »

Four and Oh, suckers, FOUR AND OH!

Comments 18 Comments »

Occasionally, when debating the paleosimian question and how they’re all just innocent lambs paying unfairly for the crimes of the Nazis, the name “Hajj Amin Al-Husseini”, the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem back during WWII and a national paleosimian hero today, is mentioned.

In particular, a picture of him meeting with Adolf Hitler will be brought up, but that’s pretty much the extent of it. As if Arafat’s hero’s only crime against humanity was to have tea with Hitler.

Well, that isn’t it, that’s not even one tenth of it.

If you want to really learn about the true founder of the paleoswinian movement, this article will give you all the details.

Keep in mind: That war criminal is revered as a hero in paleswine today.

Yep, those poor “innocent” paleoswinians. Let’s give them a state.

Comments 11 Comments »

(Via LC & IB Stop the ACLU):

BY ANGELA CAPUTO Daily Southtown
So long, Halloween parade. Farewell, Santa’s gift shop.

The holiday traditions are facing elimination in some Oak Lawn schools this year after complaints that the activities are offensive, particularly to Muslim students.

Quick: Is there anything that isn’t “offensive” to muslim students? Other than stonings, child molestation, murdering infidels and ad hoc amputations, we mean?

Final decisions on which of the festivities will be axed will fall to the principals at each of Ridgeland School District 122’s five schools, Supt. Tom Smyth said.

Parents expect that the announcement is going to add to the tension that has been building since officials agreed earlier this month to change the lunch menu to exclude items containing pork to accommodate Muslim students. News that Jell-O was struck from the menu caused such a stir that officials have agreed to bring it back. Gelatin is often made with tissue or bones of pigs or other animals.

Just in case you’re wondering just exactly what it is that leads to school kids throwing lunch bags with ham sandwiches in the general direction of muslim students, there’s your reason. What? You didn’t think that the non-muslim students would be in the least bit offended by having their traditions and preferences outlawed one by one to appease a howling, irrational, implacable minority?

It’s called “pushback”, and as long as the spineless Dhimmis of this country refuse to draw a line in the sand, it’s only going to get worse. Much, much worse. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Elizabeth Zahdan, a mother of three District 122 students, says she took her concerns to the school board this month, not because she wanted to do away with the traditions, but rather to make them more inclusive. “I only wanted them modified to represent everyone,” she said.

Oh sure you did. And we’re sure that you brought a long a list of suggestions as to how you could make Christmas and Halloween more compatible with Shariah, didn’t you?

Bullshit. We’re not as dumb as you look, you harpy.

Comments 31 Comments »

Looks like Jack Murthafucker is getting closer to being buried in a flapping heap of our enraged feathery friends (thanks to Sir Christopher):

A federal judge has ordered Rep. Jack Murtha (D-Pa.) to testify in a defamation case related to the deaths of Iraqi civilians in the town of Haditha in 2005, according to the Associated Press.

Murtha, a former Marine. accused Marines of “cold-blooded murder and war crimes” during the Haditha incident. Frank Wuterich, a Marine sergeant involved in the incident, has sued Murtha for libel and invasion of privacy over his comments.

According to AP, U.S. District Judge Rosemary M. Collyer wants Murtha to explain why he made this statement and any documents he has related to the incident.

Gee, isn’t that fun, you buddy-fucking, grand-standing donkey’s arse? Looks like some judges still take the law seriously and won’t automatically give you DC dorkwads a pass just because you’re, well, DC dorkwads.

From the AP: ‘You’re writing a very wide road for members of Congress to go to their home districts and say anything they choose about private persons and be able to do so without any liability. Are you sure you want to do that?” Collyer said, adding later, ”How far can a congressman go and still be protected?”

Hopefully not as far as acting as judge, jury and executioner, libeling U.S. Marines before they’ve had the benefit of a trial, much less an actual investigation. Either way, it’ll be interesting listening to the unindicted ABSCAM co-conspirator (unindicted only because he didn’t want to take the bribe right away, mind you) trying to defend himself in court.

Of course, the mouthbreathing knuckledragger at Politico doesn’t agree with the ruling. To him, Congresscritters are a breed apart, above the law of the land and should most certainly be allowed to libel and slander to their widdle hearts’ content. After all, how can they possibly do their job if they’re not allowed to walk around calling anybody they want to rapists, murderers, cold-blooded killers or child molesters?

Frankly, I don’t understand this ruling at all, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it is appealed by the Justice Dept. and/or House general counsel’s office on behalf of Murtha. Murtha, who can say some inappropriate things once in a while, was clearly acting in his capacity as a lawmaker when he made the comments and is thus protected by the Speech or Debate Clause from any type of prosecution for official acts.

It used to be that the one of the principles of a civilized nation was that there was one law for all people, but apparently the ignorant clown writing that article doesn’t agree. To him, some animals really are more equal than others and should be treated as such. Immune to prosecution no matter what they do, presumably because they’re so much better than we are, or because they can’t do their jobs if they have to be tied down by the same laws that the rest of us plebes have to follow.

Unless, of course, Mr. Bresnahan thinks that the law as a whole is unfair, in which case I suppose it would be alright for me to accuse him of being a cold-blooded killer, a child molester, a rapist, a bank robber or whatever else I could think of.

Murtha has a right to say what he did under the Speech or Debate Clause, even if he was wrong about what happened. When we start restricting what members and senators can say in the performance of their jobs, then we are really in trouble as a country.

Oh we are, are we? I suppose it would be The End Of The Republic As We Know It™ if a precedent against 535 anointed philosopher kings was established, barring them from committing libel and/or slander without legal consequences?

No, you drooling serf, we would be in trouble if we created a political upper class unbound by the laws that they themselves pass to control the rest of us. If I wanted to live in that kind of a society, I’d move to Tehran.

Maybe you should do that instead since, by your standards, it’s a much better place to be?

Comments 20 Comments »

Against our better judgment, we’re going to try to bring this one back from the dead:

1547 — Miguel de Cervantes is born to no fanfare at all. As he grows older, he manages to get himself shot at the Battle of Lepanto and, while returning home to Spain, gets abducted by members of the Religion of Peace. Luckily for Miguel YouTube hasn’t been invented yet, so he and his brother eventually return to Spain with their heads still on their shoulders. Once home, he takes up a life long passion for exploring the seedier sides of life, working as a tax collector for a while. A promising career in income redistribution abruptly comes to an end when he’s caught keeping the stolen loot for himself and he’s sent to jail where he, stuck with nothing much else to do, gets the idea to write a book about a guy tilting at windmills, a book which is the only reason that anybody remembers him today.

1758 — Horatio Nelson, most known for repeatedly slapping the fwench around like little bitches (and the Spanish too, since Lord Nelson liked to have at least a bit of a challenge), is born. In 1798, he destroys the fwench fleet at the Battle of the Nile, stranding the Corsican midget in Egypt where he proceeds to work on his tan and study hieroglyphics. Most famous, however, is the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805 where he spots a numerically superior fwanco-Spanish fleet and, in keeping with the best British naval traditions, proceeds to knock the shit out of it. During the battle, a fwench sniper, in direct contradiction of fwench military tradition, decides to actually fire his weapon rather than just drop it and run away (perhaps he was a really poor swimmer?) and, even more unusual for a fwenchman, manages to hit something. Sadly, what he hits happens to be Lord Nelson who is mortally wounded, yet refuses to die until he has made sure that his forces won. That’s “Stiff Upper Lip” for you. Currently, he’s stuck on top of a column in London being shat on by pigeons 24/7, which should tell you all you need to know about how the Brits treat their heroes.

1862 — Union General Jefferson C. Davis, upset by a reprimand from his commanding officer, General William Nelson, promptly reacts in the only fashion that seems appropriate to him and shoots General Nelson. Thus fragging is invented. Thanks to the influence of Governor Morton of Indiana, a friend of General Davis’, Davis is never court-martialed, proving once again that you can do no wrong as long as you have the right connections.

1888 — Daimler Motor Company starts producing cars in the U.S. In order to confuse the fwench, they’re called “Mercedes”, named after a famous fwench prostitute. More than a hundred years later, no longer concerned with what the fwench think, Daimler buys out Chrysler and sticks to the name this time, although the cars continue to be called Mercedes. The fwench remain confused.

1913 — Rudolf Diesel, best known for having a foul-smelling organic fuel named after him, jumps off a cruiser in the English Channel and discovers, much to his dismay, that he can’t swim.

1918 — The Allies, after having sung about it for four years, finally manage to hang out their washing on the Siegfried (Hindenburg) Line. The 2,500,000 who have died getting the laundry ready can’t be reached for comment. Upon arrival, the Allies realize to their consternation that the Huns have run off with all of the washing lines, putting a much-needed cleanup on hold for another month and a half when, at long last, peace suddenly breaks out.

1939 — The socialists of Germany and the socialists of the U.S.S.R. divide Poland between them. Socialists in the U.S., exuberant at the news of Stalin’s Great Victory, decide that Mr. Hitler isn’t all that bad after all since he’s a friend of Uncle Joe’s now. Two years later, when Hitler invades the Soviet Union, the socialists here decide that they’ve been against Nazism all along. They maintain this claim to this day in spite of any facts to the contrary thrown at them.

1953 — The New Duranty Times, much to the confusion of its readers, publish an article claiming that Russians want freedom, private property and the right to not go to Siberia whenever the government decides to send them there. Among other things that the article shockingly reveals to be among the desires of citizens in the Workers’ Paradise are food at least once a week, clothes to wear, shoes and hot and cold running water. Strangely, only a few decades earlier, the same newspaper was proudly declaring that there was no famine in the U.S.S.R. and that nobody should pay attention to the piles of emaciated bodies behind the curtain. For this, they won a Pulitzer that they’re still very proud of. No, we don’t get it either.

1965 — Hanoi proclaims that downed U.S. pilots will be treated as war criminals. It turns out to be another lie, though. No U.S. pilot is subsequently given a commission in Ho Chi Minh’s army. Not that they’d have taken it anyway. Except for John Kerry, but he wasn’t a pilot and, on top of that, he never got close enough to the enemy to be captured.

1988 — Stacy Allison of Portland, Oregon, becomes the first American woman to reach the summit of Mount Everest, only to be left wondering what the Hell she went up there for and returning back down again. Hillary Clinton fondly remembers how her parents originally wanted to name her “Stacy” in honor of this womyn’s amazing achievement.

Comments 22 Comments »

Jesse Hi-Jackson and Al Sharp(as a stick of butter)ton, call your offices!

Oh no he DIN’T! Oh yes he DID!

Silky Pony, the Breck Girl, actually stands before a live studio audience, stating that all young blacks are criminals. White boys, apparently not so much.

That ought to play well with the usual race-baiting suspects.

If they’d pull their fat fingers out of their ears, that is.

Comments 22 Comments »

So somebody decides to bitch slap for their disgusting “Betrayus” ad by mocking them mercilessly, and guess what?, that bastion of Free Speech, sends a cease & desist letter to CafePress, insisting that they remove the offending items and hand over personal contact info for the merchant.

Gee, that sounds like something Tits on a Chair™ would do.

So tell us again, weren’t huffing and puffing about their “First Amendment Rights” when defending their vile slander ad from the slings and arrows of outrage and disdain, claiming that they were being persecuted and having their rights threatened because people got mad at them and criticized them in public?

Obviously, to liberals, Free Speech Rights only apply when they happen to agree with the speech being expressed.

But we already knew that, didn’t we?

And no,, your precious copyright isn’t being “infringed” by somebody making fun of you. Tell your dumbass shyster lawyers to go back to school, will you? If the vendor were selling stuff as your stuff, now THAT would be copyright infringement.

But you’d have to be as dumb as a liberal to think that this:

…is in any shape, form or fashion “official merchandise.”

For one thing, it happens to make sense, you flaming hypocrites.

But hey, if that’s the game you want to play, let’s have some more:

Comments 20 Comments »