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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Archive for November, 2007
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Archive for November, 2007

I posted this in a thread, but Hardclimber gave me a great idea. Why not use it for a Caption THIS?

Warning: Might not be suitable for the weak at heart…

Give us more, O Emperor! »

Comments 109 Comments »

We mean, how else are we to interpret a hed like “Minorities Hit Hardest By U.S. Housing Crisis” for a story about a black guy who made a boneheaded decision? They must be suggesting that minorities are more boneheaded than other people, then. Oh well, one more reason to detest al-Roto-Reuters.

Listen, Mr. Horribly Discriminated Against Minority, it’s quite fucking simple. So simple, in fact, that His Majesty managed to grasp the concept in his first year of Economics, but let’s make it even more simple by dividing every mortgage in the world into Fixed Rate (FRM) or Adjustable Rate (ARM) ones only: Fixed rate means that, no matter what the interest rate does over the next 30 years, you’ll pay the same every month. Clearly, this makes it a really, really fucking dumb idea to get one of those if interest rates are at an all-time high, because ten years from now, when everybody else is getting nice, low-interest loans, you’re still stuck paying an arm and a leg. (We’ll cover refinancing and other issues in an Advanced Class. Suffice it to say that setting yourself up with a loan that you ought to know that you need to refi soon is about as dumb as anything I’ve ever heard of).

Conversely, which applies to your case of mental retardation, Adjustable Rate means that you’ll pay whatever the interest rate will be at any given point in the future. If it goes up, you pay more, if it goes down, you pay less. Simple, huh? Alright, then. This obviously means that it’ll be fucking daft to get one of those if interest rates are really bloody low, since you’ll likely be paying an arm and a leg while all of those who got FRMs are still paying peanuts (compared to you).

Now look at current interest rates, dumbass. Do they look like they’re going to drop substantially in the future? Not unless the Fed digs out the shovels and starts paying people to lend money from them, they bloody well won’t.

So why the FUCK did you sign an ARM when you already acknowledge that you were looking for an FRM? “Because you felt pressured into it by your broker?” What? He was holding a fucking .50 cal S&W to your head? Giving you the Evil Eye? Threatening to rape your family unless you signed?

Dumbfucked dumbass doodlebrain.

UPDATE: Our alert readers (more alert than we are, obviously) point out another interesting detail from the article: The dumbass in question is an executive assistant at… *drumroll* a BANK. That’s right. An executive assistant at a BANK who doesn’t understand what an ARM is.

Holy jumping Jehosaphat on a hydrogen-powered pogo stick, Batman! We too want to know which bank pity-fucked him with a job so that we can run, not walk away from it if, Heaven forbid, it turns out we have money in it.

Comments 22 Comments »

Inspired (too late) by LC & IB Michelle’s poster competition, we decided to go right ahead and apply our very limited PhotoShopping skillz to a healthy dose of ripping off old concepts, and this is what we came up with:

“Oohs” and “Aaahs”, while not obligatory, still come highly recommended. The Stormtroopers are a bit — restive these days. And bored.

Comments 26 Comments »

Because, thanks to a news bit found by this fine site, we think that it’s about time for some payback against all of the utter bullshite that the Liberal Thought Police™ foist on us. Oh, and while we’re at it, let’s make “one payer system” and “social justice” hate speech as well.

Accusations of racism in a Lee’s Summit high school have lead to suspensions, but now the parents say their kids were unfairly punished.

And how…

(By the way, it’s “have led“, you borderline illiterate, overpaid journaljizzmer asshat. We thought that knowing the English language was a requirement for people making a living writing in it, but obviously we were overly optimistic in our assessments. Again.)

Travis Grigsby loves playing drums, but he and his friend Alex Coday weren’t able to play for two weeks after they were suspended. It started after the band’s performance at a football game. Some kids on the drum line said they were talking about the best knots to use to tie up the drum equipment.

“Someone asked if anybody knew how to tie a noose and Travis did admit he knew how to tie a noose,” Kim Grigsby said.

Travis’ mom said her son is almost an Eagle Scout, he knew how to tie it, but told his friends he wouldn’t because you could get in trouble for that. Later, a black student on the drum line told the teacher he was offended.

Oh NOES. He said “noose” in the presence of a Snotty Brat of Color™!!!

Obviously, there can be only one “socially just” response to that kind of “hate speech:”

“Travis was accused of using a racial slur for saying the word ‘noose.’ Then he was suspended for 10 days,” Kim said.

She said the school district accused the boys of having a racially charged conversation about nooses, but Travis and Alex insist that’s not what happened.

“I don’t feel they let Alex or Travis tell their side of the story,” Kim said.

His Imperial Majesty doesn’t think, as a matter of fact we’ll go as far as to say that we’re 99.9999% certain that they didn’t get to say anything in their own defense. After all, somebody with Absolute Moral Majority™ (because somebody he’d never known had gotten abused by people that the white kids had never known) had spoken, so there is no need for the jury to retire. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

Not to put too fine a point on it, but if anybody is wondering just why some people sometimes feel moved to utter actual racially biased nonsense directed at random passers-by based on whatever ethnic group they happen to be associated with, here’s your reason.

It’s called “pushback.” Look it up. Unless it has been outlawed and airbrushed out of the dictionaries already, of course.

Assclowns.

Comments 46 Comments »

The title is a reference to a line from the 1964 movie “Zulu” about the defense of Rorkes Drift. After hearing that no 3 Column had been wiped out at Islandwana Leftenant Chard says “The army doesn’t like more than one disaster in a day”, to which Leftenant Bromhead adds “Looks bad in the newspapers and upsets civilians at their breakfasts”.

Apparently the attitude Lt. Bromhead referred is alive and well in Jolly Ol’ England. (h/t Mrs. M-ITT for the link).

Injured soldiers who lost their limbs fighting for their country have been driven from a swimming pool training session by jeering members of the public.

Isn’t gratitude a beautiful thing.

The men, injured during tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, were taking part in a rehabilitation session at a leisure centre, when two women demanded they be removed from the pool. They claimed that the soldiers “hadn’t paid” and might scare the children.

Can’t have the precious chiiiilreeen scared now can we. God forbid they may actually be taught that there are men in the world who have to face far worse horrors than seeing an amputee going through rehabilitation. Perhaps the imbecilic sows who complained would prefer that their children see dear ol’ mum stoned to death for being in public without a male family member.

As far as paying to use the pool, I think their payment was left on an operating cutting room floor sometime ago you fucking self centered, ungrateful cunts!

“These people are beneath contempt and everything should be done to get their names and publish them in the press,” he said. “It is contemptible that people who have given up their limbs for their country should be so abused when they are trying to get fit again.”

Admiral Loyd Boyce seems to have forgotten his Kipling;

I went into a public-’ouse to get a pint o’ beer,
The publican ‘e up an’ sez, ‘We serve no erd-coats ‘ere.’
The girls be’ind the bar they laughed and giggled fit to die,
I outs into the street again, an’ to myself sez I:
Oh, it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ ‘Tommy, go away’:
But it’s ‘Thank you, Mister Atkins,’ when the band begins to play -
The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,

Just go and bleed someplace else Tommy, be a good lad and don’t dirty the carpet, it might upset the children after all.

Comments 46 Comments »

Nothing particularly unusual about this story (link thanks to LC Azygos), but that’s exactly why stories like these need to be told again and again.

It’s quite helpful to remind the Oprahfied Instant Gratification Generation™ just what kind of beasts we are at war with, because it seems to us that they keep forgetting that Michael Moore’s Minutemen are subhuman scum that need to be put down whenever and wherever they’re encountered, by ANY MEANS AVAILABLE TO US.

Unless, of course, the ADHD’est Generation would prefer to start thinking about issuing Uzis to school crossing guards here in the U.S. one day:

BAGHDAD - Three suspected al Qaeda militants, including two sisters, beheaded their uncle and his wife, forcing the couple’s children to watch, Iraqi police said on Friday.

The militants considered that school guard Youssef al-Hayali was an infidel because he did not pray and wore western-style trousers, they told police interrogators after being arrested in Diyala province northwest of Baghdad.

The three cousins executed Hayali and his wife Zeinab Kamel at the all-boys school in Jalawlah in Diyala province, village police chief Captain Ahmed Khalifa said.

So they chop the heads off of a man and his wife while the children are watching because he wore western-style trousers?

And those are the animals that some of the more moronic specimens among us want to “dialogue” with???

The only way we should “dialogue” with those cave-dwelling pisslamic animals is through high-velocity munitions delivered in large and generous quantities whenever we hear as much as a whisper of a ululation.

If the dumbasses in DC want to talk with those creatures, then they’d damn well better devote some time to locating Dr Doolittle first.

Kill them all.

No mercy, no forgiveness, no peace, no negotiations.

Kill. Them. All.

Religion of “Peace” our Imperial Arse.

Comments 19 Comments »

Yeah, me too, although I feel a bit overstuffed, but that’s to be expected this time of year. At least I can still walk under my own power. Most of the time.

But who I’m really talking about is the Imperial Minister of Truth, who has resurfaced to let us all know that he’s still around, he’s just been a little busy as of late. Besides, he does tend to spend a while writing his essays, which is all fine by me. If he only wrote one a year, it’d still be worth waiting for.

So why not pop by and say “hi there, Bill, good to hear from you again?”

Comments 1 Comment »

Mike M posted a link to this hilarious YouTube video about Hitler being banned from a forum.  It was so fookin’ funny that I just HAD to post it here.

Comments 82 Comments »

Right at this moment I am sitting in my room, wondering how the hell the Australian people screwed the pooch so badly.

God help us…..

Comments 77 Comments »

We’ve known all along the enviro-loons true belief, that man is parasitic and Mother Gaia herself is the only thing worth saving. We see it rattling around in their pointed heads, carefully parsed statements and policy proposals, but NOW they’ve dropped trou’ showing they truly are stark-raving mad. Clinically so, as their ideas amounts to de-facto genocide.

Meet the women who won’t have babies - because they’re not eco friendly

Had Toni Vernelli gone ahead with her pregnancy ten years ago, she would know at first hand what it is like to cradle her own baby, to have a pair of innocent eyes gazing up at her with unconditional love, to feel a little hand slipping into hers - and a voice calling her Mummy.

The beauty of motherhood and all that goes along with it. But wait there’s more…..

But the very thought makes her shudder with horror. Because when Toni terminated her pregnancy, she did so in the firm belief she was helping to save the planet.

Perhaps, she should have thought of saving the planet before spreading her legs. All that grunting, huffing and puffing exerted to make that murdered child increased your carbon footprint didn’t it?

Desperate measures: Toni Vernelli was sterilized at age 27 to reduce her carbon footprint

Why even bother with the intermediate step? Just down a few hundred miligrams of alprazolam and a quart of everclear. Cheaper and you’ll reduce your carbon footprint even more, allowing for ’some’ minor carbon dioxide releases during decomposition of your useless, brain-dead, indoctrinated self.

Incredibly, so determined was she that the terrible “mistake” of pregnancy should never happen again, that she begged the doctor who performed the abortion to sterilize her at the same time.

Wholly disregarding for even a moment, that the terrible mistake might have been avoided by remaining celibate.

He refused, but Toni - who works for an environmental charity - “relentlessly hunted down a doctor who would perform the irreversible surgery. [Emph Mine]

I have this mental image of this waste of skin, chasing doctors down the street screaming, “I MUST, I MUST save the world !!!”. The doctor should have agreed and promptly had her committed for a psychiatric evaluation before picking up a knife. Why am I not surprised she works for an environmental charity?

Finally, eight years ago, Toni got her way. At the age of 27 this young woman at the height of her reproductive years was sterilized to “protect the planet”. Incredibly, instead of mourning the loss of a family that never was, her boyfriend (now husband) presented her with a congratulations card.

It’s too bad hubby didn’t enclose some semtex and an appropriate fusing device in the card, to be opened together in the ultimate gesture of saving the planet. Perhaps next year on the anniversary you can arrange to have Ted Kaczynski send one of his trademarked cards.

While some might think it strange to celebrate the reversal of nature and denial of motherhood, Toni relishes her decision with an almost religious zeal. “Having children is selfish. It’s all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet,” says Toni, 35.

Tahhh-Dahhhh, there we have it in black and white folks, they DO believe humans are merely parasitic life-forms.

On the other hand, they might be onto something here. If we could get the rest of the Church of Gaia™ to participate in this wonderful program, we would be loon-free in a single generation.

“Every person who is born uses more food, more water, more land, more fossil fuels, more trees and produces more rubbish, more pollution, more greenhouse gases, and adds to the problem of over-population.” While most parents view their children as the ultimate miracle of nature, Toni seems to see them as a sinister threat to the future. [Emph Mine again]

Geez, I guess we humans are even worse than parasites, as they rarely kill their hosts. Jonestown Redux anyone? This time you’ll have your choice of Kool-Aid flavors, all certified organic.

It gets better and if I read it again, I’ll have to perform the second cleaning of my keyboard, so just do it on your own, M’Kay?

SPEW WARNING IS IN EFFECT ON CLICKING THIS LINK

Thatisall, you have been warned.

Comments 66 Comments »