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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Never Bring a Gun to a Fistfight
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At least not if you’re a cluefucked retard scumbag goblin like Kaleb Nelson of Colorado (h/t LC Lorraine):

Devon Barker says he was about to get out of the car when the robber stuck a gun into the driver’s side window and demanded money.

Barker says he got out of the car, went around the backside, and tackled the robber. Barker says he punched the robber, but the man managed to get away.

Boulder Police arrested 20-year-old Kaleb Nelson a short time later at an apartment a block away from the Spanish Towers.

Normally we wouldn’t bother to post about something that doesn’t involve the immediate assumption of room temperature by a goblin, but there’s something about an armed goblin with all of the advantages over his intended victim getting a thorough thrashing that we find too irresistibly funny to let go.

Have fun in the clink, Kaleb, especially when it comes to explaining how you got busted on aggravated robbery charges after being beaten by an unarmed victim.

We predict that you’ll be needing to put a 2 by 4 across every barstool you ever try to sit upon after you get out, in order to not slide down and have your well-used ass hit the floor.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH.

23 Responses to “Never Bring a Gun to a Fistfight”
  1. Unregistered Comment by Bushwack

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    :em99:
    Some real winners in Colorado, I think this is the same state that banned tag in schools right?

  2. sig94 Comment by sig94

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Pwn3d by Mr. Unarmed Refused To B. A. Victim! This loser musta been a Goblin School drop out.

    And foist…

    Hmmmm. The edit function keeps dropping me back into the edit function after I punch “submit.” Sorta reminds me of the movie Groundhog Day.

  3. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Fully Auto-High-Capacity-Military-style-Assailt-Knuckles..
    Them things registered son?

  4. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    A pity the idiot goblin didn’t get pistol whipped with his own piece. :em58:

  5. Unregistered Comment by crazylegs

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    But, but, but… THe liberals said that if someone ever tried to rob me I was supposed to roll over and play dead!

    Or am I thinking of grizzly bears? Either way.

  6. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Wanna bet that widdle Kaleb screamed like a little girl while he was getting his ass kicked? :em58:

    How much of a pantywaist do you have to be to screw up robbing an unarmed person with a gun in your hand?

  7. ohio right wing nut Comment by ohio right wing nut

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99:

  8. ohio right wing nut Comment by ohio right wing nut

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    WHAT A F-NING PUSSY

  9. ohio right wing nut Comment by ohio right wing nut

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    MRS M.

    Now why you gotta go an insult little girls like that?

  10. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Now why you gotta go an insult little girls like that?

    Well they can be rather noisy and do tend to scream at the drop of a hat…but given that, most little girls I know could slap Kaleb into the middle of next week, then do it again on Thursday. :em99:

  11. Unregistered Comment by leoni2, LC

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I’m guessing the prey decided to teach Mr. Nelson a lesson free of charge. I doubt he’d learned anything though. Other then maybe, he’ll now have to cover his ass where’s he’s going. :em99: :em95:

  12. Unregistered Comment by mindy1

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    What was he doing with the gun in the first place? Trying to compensate for something? :em99: Seriously, this is very funny.

  13. hOOt Gibson Comment by hOOt Gibson

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    What one or more of the students at VT should have done last spring. Yes is would have been hard and taken a large set of balls, but better that being slaughtered like sheep.

    hOOt

  14. Unregistered Pingback by Lesson one

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    […] Using a gun to try and rob someone is only useful if you plan to use it. […]

  15. Kristopher, LC Comment by Kristopher, LC

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Too many people … both victims and perps, think of firearms as magic wands of obedience.

    Nope … they just allow you to project deadly force.

    If you aren’t ready to bust a cap on someone if needed, leave it at home.

  16. NevadaDailySteve Comment by NevadaDailySteve

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    How much of a pantywaist do you have to be to screw up robbing an unarmed person with a gun in your hand?

    Apparently you have to be someone like Kaleb.

    And what is the matter with people? Can’t they spell their names like normal human beings? Kaleb, really. What kind name is that?

    I had to do a story on a lawsuit for today’s paper and there were two lawyers named Christopher there. (Sorry #14 Kristopher, LC) One spelled his name like you are supposed to but the other spelled his name Kristoffer. Duh. I’d give you the link but the story won’t be up on the papers Web site until later this afternoon.

    The lawsuit itself is a joke, but of course I can’t write about that. Must maintain objectivity. Ignore common sense. :em41: :em12: :em98:

  17. chuck Comment by chuck

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    A similar case in Atlanta early this morning.

    http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/clayton/stories/2007/08/31/homeinvasion_0901.html

    I wonder if we are seeing the beginning of a trend.

  18. LC MoMinuteMan Comment by LC MoMinuteMan

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    The arrested man was taken to Atlanta Medical Center for treatment of “multiple injuries…”

    :em99: :em99: :em99:

    I guess “multiple injuries” is the technical term for “Ass Whuppin’”??

  19. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    The rule in The Olde ‘Hood was:
    You mug, you get whupped, you lose your estate

    (what size are them boots on that mulched goblin there? Hey lookit this knife! Here’s his wallet, HEY, pictures! Wow,,that’s Bubba’s sister!)

  20. Unregistered Comment by Mark6591

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Misha, you are having way too much fun with this. I’m gonna steal your barstool joke. But there is an old one worth telling.

    How do you get four senators to sit on a barstool? Turn it upside down.

    BTW, Kristopher, you are oh so right.

  21. Unregistered Comment by leoni2, LC

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    MoMinuteMan,

    I guess “multiple injuries” is the technical term for “Ass Whuppin’”??

    I do believe that you’re right. And I got the feeling that mister I’m on the run now not only got an ass whuppin’, but gotten beaten royally if that blood trail is any indication. Serves. Him. Right!

  22. Unregistered Comment by Rainy

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Bushwack -

    It was the People’s Republic of Boulder after all.

    Unfortunately, yes, it was a school here that banned tag. The Californization of Colorado has been going on for some time but there are some of us natives left. Last year, the sheep in this state voted in a Democratic governor and both houses of the legislature, G-d help us! Now they’re talking about almost tripling the state income tax to pay for health care for illegals. In one of the other plans, they want to add a huge tax to “junk food” and alcohol for the same purpose. It would mean a bottle of rum would cost $5 more. In addition to making my own “junk food”, I guess I need to get a microbrew or home still kit to make my own alcohol. :em08:

  23. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    In addition to making my own “junk food”, I guess I need to get a microbrew or home still kit to make my own alcohol.

    Sounds to me like you need to get the hell out of there.