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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Edwards Announces Dream Cabinet
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John Edwards showing the size estimate of his “My Little Dream Pony Testicles.”

Edwards’ Cabinet list includes GOP names

The inhumanity of it all…say it isn’t so, the Democraps’ first metro-sexual candidate couldn’t possibly have even a RINO in his cabinet. Don’t worry citizens of the Empire, I’m sure he’ll clarify this shortly, it was a day-dream he had whilst having his latest coiffure. He dreamt that big, bad Fred was hiding in his closet [not cabinet], right next to the year’s supply of hair-spray, waiting to shout boo !!!!

Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards carries a running list of people he might put in his Cabinet, and it includes “more than one” Republican.

Ron Paul and Olympia Snowe?

“I want to be ready for when I get sworn in,” the former North Carolina senator said between campaigns stops as he dug into a travel bag for the list.

Looking for his little dog, Toto.

“I might have it with me,” Edwards told The Associated Press. “I wouldn’t show it to you, but I could have it with me.”

Show me yours and I’ll show you mine, but I have to run home and get Elizabeth first, her’s is bigger and I still haven’t found mine anyway.

He didn’t hand over the list, nor did he commit to putting Republicans in his Cabinet.

So why in the name of Fidel’s Lice Infested Beard™, does the headline make an affirmative declaration that it does?

“No, because the test for me is not whether they’re Democratic or Republican. The test is how competent they are and whether they’re the best person for the job, and to make a decision about who’s best to choose you have to spend time talking to them,” said the 2004 Democratic vice presidential candidate.

Absolutely, you positively must be sure a potential cabinet member agrees with you on haircare and personal hygiene products. After all, the cabinet meeting restroom can only stock one variety of tampons.

Would he name a Republican vice presidential nominee?

“I don’t think so because my view about Cabinet positions is different than the vice presidency,” Edwards said. “I think the vice president needs to be someone who shares my vision for the country and that’s much more likely, obviously, to be a Democrat.”

Of course not, a republican, any republican would highlight my utter lack of testosterone.

Edwards didn’t go as far as rival Bill Richardson, who has said that as the Democratic nominee he would give voters a preview of his Cabinet before Election Day.

Only because the Village People weren’t available for a photo opportunity.

“It would have independents, Republicans and Democrats. Don’t worry, I won’t overdo the Republicans,” Richardson told a Democratic audience in July.

Richardson? Presidential Cabinet? Bill, you do know that will give you warts and make you go blind, right?

Also on Saturday, Edwards dismissed critics who question his sincerity and point to stories about his pricey hair cut, big home and hedge fund job.

They are such bruuuuthes aren’t they Johnny?

“They’re look for something to criticize about. It’s what comes with running for president. If you’re not ready to be criticized, you shouldn’t run for president,” Edwards said. “I mean, I know who I am. I know I haven’t changed at all. I’m the same person I’ve always been.”

No disagreement there at all. None. You’re still a two-bit malpractice shyster that channels dead babies and panders juries into millions of dollar punitive damages, at the cost of good doctor’s careers. A left-wing socialist, frothing moon-bat that plays every class divisive card in the book without shame, while hiding behind the skirts of your wife’s unfortunate illness for insulation.

Do us all a favor, drop out now, get yourself a nice manicure, pedicure and even some new frilly thongs from the Victoria’s Secret catalog. You’ll feel much better.

33 Responses to “Edwards Announces Dream Cabinet”
  1. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

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    No, because the test for me is not whether they’re Democratic or Republican.

    Pull the other one,,

  2. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    If you’re not ready to be criticized, you shouldn’t run for president,”

    Unless you got Mamma Lizzy running block for you.

    “I mean, I know who I am. I know I haven’t changed at all. I’m the same person I’ve always been.”

    *He says in a sultry lisp as he flips his hair back*
    Was he wearing his Blue Sparkle Tutu or his Strawberry Shortcake one?

    This pansy ass makes Liberace look like a hunk.

  3. evilned Comment by evilned

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    I followed the link to the yahoo story. It says he was in Nashua NH. I live in Nashua. I went out a little while ago for some tasty vittles from a local Pizza place.

    As I was driving along I smelled the most horrendous stench. I thought it was the dead skunk I saw on the road. Now I know what it really was.
    (No skunk smells THAT bad!) :em93: :em72:

  4. Unregistered Comment by jkaiseresquire

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    My vote is on Olympia Snowe. But maybe he has a big spot in his heart for Chuck Hagel.

    John

  5. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    Thanks for including the picture, JB.

    If it’s not there, I’m liable to get confused, trying to figure out which one of the Mrs Edwardses we’re talking about.

  6. LittleRott84 Comment by LittleRott84

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    I think if anyone should be thinking about his cabinet, it’s Fred!

  7. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper

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    Well he did say “dream cabinet”.

    :em99: If you’re gonna dream, dream big. :em99:

  8. Xystus Comment by Xystus

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    Somehow I don’t think Ron Paul would agree to serve in a Silky Phony cabinet. He probably wouldn’t want such a job unless he was allowed to dismantle whatever agency he headed–& we know how that worked for Pres. RR & SecEd BB.

  9. Sir Christopher Comment by Sir Christopher

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    heard today that THIS INDIVIDUAL will be Edwards’ head of Housing and Urban Development

  10. Sir Christopher Comment by Sir Christopher

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    Secretary of Transportation

  11. Unregistered Comment by LC & IB Random Numbers

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    Somehow I don’t think Ron Paul would agree to serve in a Silky Phony cabinet. He probably wouldn’t want such a job unless he was allowed to dismantle whatever agency he headed–& we know how that worked for Pres. RR & SecEd BB.

    Thus Edwards will gleefully appoint Paul the SecDef.

    It make surrender easier if you fire all your own soldiers first.

  12. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    Yes, where he doesn’t get it is about Islam.

    I think the main problem with Paul is that we don’t have time for him to “Get it” about Islam. If he doesn’t already he’s not going to. At least not until after another 3 or more thousand of our citizens have been turned into grease spots where they once stood.

  13. James, Imperial Mercenary Comment by James, Imperial Mercenary

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    If it weren’t for Ron Paul’s isolationist stance, I’d consider him to be a useful candidate. Foreign policy issues are probably the only think RP and Silky Pony have in common (and most likely for different reasons).

    Off topic, but Get Fuzzy has a particularly hilarious comic today:
    http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/archive/getfuzzy-20070909.html :em99:

  14. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

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    ‘Mornin’ Fanusi

    Now, show me the political figure who does.

    ‘You’ve seen Fred!’s credentials?

  15. ohio right wing nut Comment by ohio right wing nut

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    maybe Mike Dewine? hear he’s looking for a job and likes to kiss lib ass.

  16. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    Oh, and then there’s the problem that Ron Paul is crazier than a wet shithouse rat, cuddling up to the Truthers.

    I’m a bit leery when it comes to handing the reins to our country to somebody who’s pathologically insane and doesn’t go anywhere without his tinfoil hat on.

  17. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    The real fight against Islam isn’t in Iraq - it’s here. In New York, in Dallas, in Oxford, in Edinburgh… In every place this pestilence has taken hold.

    well said Fanusi, I believe that the islamonazis are playing our system against us. Their sharpest weapon is our own political correctness, they can literally get away with murder. We have neutered ourselves to the point that we worry more about “offending” the poor muslims than about them murdering us wholesale in the name of islam.

    We weaken the grip of islam by limiting it’s practice in the west, at least until it goes through some very serious and radical reform. There is no place in a 21st century world for a 7th century death cult.

  18. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

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    It’s not just Islam, Jaybear. Think of the illegals here. Bush is part and parcel of this problem. Business in general is not our friend in such matters. And Fanusi makes a very good point. It’s what they do here that concerns me the greatest. But it does not end here, that must be known. I sometimes wish we had our battle seasoned magnificent Marines guarding our southern flank here at home, rather than an impotent border patrol. The only thing about Paul really bugging me is his seeming lack of comprehending the threat Islam presents. We can only stick our heads in the sand for so long, even here at home. I think of WW2, eventually we had to become involved. Had we not………. I do believe fervently they wish to subjugate the entire world, their best friends here being the America hating left. Suicide by multiculturism. It’s happeing in Europe. I do not want it happening here. Fortunately I have noted, in my travels, there is a certain mind-set to the average American, when pushed to the wall. I thank God for it. We have it here at the Rott in spades, but many have it. Some overseas view it as foolish or arrogant. I simply view them as foolish. The sad note is it generally takes a disaster of a certain magnitude to get our attention. I have noted the world tends to shut it’s collective mouth when this nation unites and goes after a foe. We need to do that again. Many hate us for needing us, others fear our freedoms, the second amendment being a classic. But this nation, above all others, would be the one no military could subjugage if the populace were not willing. And this is why….. :em96: :em96: :em96:

  19. Unregistered Comment by rstephens

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    Only six guns caveman?

  20. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

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    I know, I know, I’m lacking. I only own four, rstephens. Two .45’s, a twelve gauge pump and a .44 rifle, the rifle being my joy. But my wife has her eye on this flat out gorgeous nine millimeter Springfield pistol we saw. It is a gorgeous, carved pistol. Due to her arthritis she can only slam fifty rounds from my .45 before her hand gets sore. And it is a beautiful gun. Fine machines are like that, beautiful in form and function. One guy at the range was admiring mine, and mine is not really pretty. But it does what it is supposed to do and does it well. Right now finances are limited though. But I think of the hundreds of millions of guns out there, I would have noooooooo problem handing one of mine to a needy friend or compatriot. My best friend of forty years acquaintance owns a dozen. Somehow I suspect we here at the Rott would have an awesome collective arsenal should the need ever arise. A gun for every occasion?

  21. Unregistered Comment by rstephens

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    Caveman,
    Understand and agree with your sentiments completely. You have me beat on throw weight. Might be that I am a little older and have a little more arthritis than you…

  22. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

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    You may be right, rstephens. I got enough arthritis for a fifty-five year old. I am presently seeing a Doc, but I’m more active than most men half my age, with a better physique, so my sawbones says. You have to be or you knot up. You make a good point. But it does not change my shooting. I simply won’t let it. But after a hundred or so rounds it’s time for a break. If my shoulder is acting up it makes the rifle a bit tougher to fire, but I love shooting it. I wanted guns that would knock some rapist, robber, etc. flat on his dead ass. So did my wife, so I taught her how to shoot .45 and a twelve gauge. She did great, delighting me no end. My job is to make sure I hit what I’m aiming at. Besides, one must like their gun, regardless of throw weight. A well aimed .22 far deadlier than a missed .45. It is your buddy, may save yours or a mates life someday. Funny thing was, realizing I’m not quite the man I used to be, I thought about equalizers. My mother used to pack around a eight shot .22 revolver in her purse after Dad had his stroke. I just implored her to never open it in a bank……..but Mom wasn’t fucking around. She worshipped Dad, he was her hero, and mine too, thinking about it. My view is any gun is better than no gun…….

  23. Unregistered Comment by irish19

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    Slightly OT, but might be worth a visit by some of the Rotties to correct some misconceptions. Be nice, it’s a good blog on the whole. href=”http://thefinalredoubt-hookie.blogspot.com/search/label/America”

  24. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

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    I just saw it, irish19. I have never expected all of them to like us. I know full well many don’t. But it is not all roses and cherubs, war never is. Nor am I particularly interesed in being liked, my concern is a victory. But true, a lot of sadness and abuse goes on, no doubt of that. I have also noted many of our detractors ore often the first to not want us to leave.

  25. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    Forgive me for having to call you out on this one Misha, but I haven’t heard anything from him to suggest that he is associated with the 9/11 conspiracy crowd. Could you give me a quote or something on that?

    Sure. I’m always happy to help. Nothing pleases me more. Because I’m such a helpful feller.

  26. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

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    Fanusi Khiyal

    but I haven’t heard anything from him to suggest that he is associated with the 9/11 conspiracy crowd.

    Here ya go.

  27. Unregistered Comment by irish19

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    I guess you’re right Caveman, but it just didn’t sit well with me, especially with the Brits pulling out-even if it’s to move to Afghanistan.

  28. Unregistered Comment by DukeFenton

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    “This video is no longer available.”

    Hmm… I wonder who did that - and why?

  29. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    *heavy duty sigh* I should have known it was to good to be true. Misha, allow me to echo the sentiments of one of those links:

    Allow me to echo that sentiment myself, Fanusi, and don’t feel bad about it. When it comes to liking him initially, only to be disappointed when he lost his mind and went off the deep end, you’re in good company.

    I myself, when I first started looking into him and his opinions, went straight from :em69: to :em98: in a matter of days.

    I’m hoping and praying that the same won’t turn out later to be the case where Fred! is concerned because if it is, then we’ll be left with fuck all to vote for.

    Oh, and save some of that Scotch for me, please. Or, better still, come visit Texas one day and we’ll both bring a bottle. Room and board is on me.