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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Dumb and Dumber, An Object Lesson In Stoopid
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This one caught my attention. There is just no way to overestimate STOOPID.

Oversalted Burger Leads To Charges

A McDonald’s employee spent a night in jail and is facing criminal charges because a police officer’s burger was too salty, so salty that he says it made him sick.

Obviously Ronald McDonald is working in the kitchen now, besides entertaining the kiddies at the Playland.

Kendra Bull was arrested Friday, charged with misdemeanor reckless conduct and freed on $1,000 bail.

Yes Virginia, stupid can be illegal in the right context. Call me confused here, the headline stated she spent a night in jail, but now you tell me she made bail. The idea of setting bail (or a bond) is that by surrendering some moolah, you don’t stay in the bucket before an arraignment. I’m certainly not familiar with local procedures, but up here, that $1000 could be in the form of a 1) Promise to Appear signature, with no cash money actually surrendered, 2) a bondsman could post 10% of the set bail or 3) A cash bond that is the full amount.

Law enforcement officers have quite a bit of discretionary powers normally and I just can’t see why he would go out of his way to make a custodial arrest for a minor misdemeanor charge unless something said really pissed him off.

Bull, 20, said she accidentally spilled salt on hamburger meat and told her supervisor and a co-worker, who “tried to thump the salt off.”

This has to be a joke right? The three stooges trying to get a shit-load of salt off a lump of ground beef. Having worked with ground beef on rather more than a few occasions, it’s not very practical to ‘thump’ it once you’ve dumped something onto the sticky mass. Perhaps they were drawing on ‘life experience’ dealing with thumping-off meat. Why in bog’s name the idiots didn’t throw it out is beyond me. Guess we’ll add dumber to the list along with a super-size side of stupid.

On her break, she ate a burger made with the salty meat. “It didn’t make me sick,” Bull told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Kendra obviously has a refined taste for sweaty salty meat and her digestive system’s response to it’s side effects.

But then Police Officer Wendell Adams got a burger made with the oversalted meat, and he returned a short time later and told the manager it made him sick.

Bull admitted spilling salt on the meat, and Adams took her outside and questioned her, she said.

No doubt the outside conversation and attitude by the accused, led to the arrest. Something just tells me the latter constituted about 80% of the decision. Note to Idiotarians Everywhere: Polite goes a long way with pissed-off police, big-balls gets you something that won’t be pleasant, trust me.

“If it was too salty, why did (Adams) not take one bite and throw it away?” said Bull, who has worked at the restaurant for five months. She said she didn’t know a police officer got one of the salty burgers because she couldn’t see the drive-through window from her work area.

Thus displaying the exact attitude that got her pinched. Silly Sow. As an aside, if you’ve ever seen a cop on a busy night trying to get some chow, eating is an event that occurs at world class Olympic speed. My first wingman could mange a Triple Quarter-Pounder with cheese in three bites in under 60 seconds without a belch in between.

Police said samples of the burger were sent to the state crime lab for tests.

Smart move, any bets that the meat was dropped onto the floor during the ‘thumping’ process?

City public information officer George Louth said Bull was charged because she served the burger “without regards to the well-being of anyone who might consume it.”

Reckless endangerment fits quite well into Bull-Shit-For-Brain’s, little meat thumping stunt. Let’s hope the city health department gets out their inspection proctoscope to visit that place a few times. I’m surprised the supervisor and co-worker weren’t charged as well.

Morons

75 Responses to “Dumb and Dumber, An Object Lesson In Stoopid”
  1. LC SkyeChild G.L.O.R. Comment by LC SkyeChild G.L.O.R.

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    Actually, I think there was stoopid on both sides of the counter. I personally don’t think that what she did was a crime worth getting arrested for. Stupid, yes, but since when is it a crime to be stupid?

    And, I don’t buy this about the cop just wolfing it down without knowing it was too salty. Most people can tell if something is too salty. I can, for sure. He should/could have just returned it.

    I think the judge should have thrown out this whole case. What do you want to bet he sues for umpteen millions of dollars?

    Holy cow! A FIRST!!!!

  2. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Call me confused here, the headline stated she spent a night in jail, but now you tell me she made bail. The idea of setting bail (or a bond) is that by surrendering some moolah, you don’t stay in the bucket before an arraignment.

    Having spent a night or two in the hoosegow in my younger, more rambunctious years, I know it is possible for a person to bail out and STILL spend a night waiting to be released. Some jails take twenty-four hours to be booked in and another twenty-four hours to be booked out, so it is possible to be arrested, immediately post bail, and still be locked up for up to forty-eight hours just for the process. Not everyone is a Paris Hilton or Michael Jackson.

    As far as the salt in the hamburger meat goes:

    I am kinda confused here.

    McDonalds uses frozen meat patties. They don’t make the patties at the restaraunt, they are preformed pre-seasoned, pre-chewed patties made in hamburgerland somewhere and shipped frozen to each store. The pimple-faced kid tosses them on a grill for a specific period of time and slaps them on a bun.

    • Where did the salt come into play?
    • Why didn’t they just throw away the hamburgers and start over?
    • How much salt are we talking about? There had to be a gawd-awful amount of salt on the burger to make a person “sick”. I mean a thick caking of salt on that burger, and maybe even in the “special sauce”.

    Here is the test to see how old you are

    What is the Big Mac Slogan? I will start it out for you:

    “Two all beef patties…”

  3. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

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    I am kinda confused here.

    It’s ok Dejj Your one of dem der lib-RALs..we undestand :em95:

    The big Mac jingle?
    Ah hell I remember it.. but not the exact order of the words, didn’t they say something about pickles next? *shrugs*

  4. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

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    “two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun,”

    Google. Its a wonderful thing!

  5. Unregistered Comment by demonicgerbil

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    The manager should have been arrested, if anyone. He knew about the burger, and everything that happens on his watch is his responsibility, not that of his employees.

  6. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

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    “two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun”

    No, no, no, NO!!!!!

    It’s “two all beef pattiesspecialsaucelettucecheesepicklesonionsonasesameseedbun”

    Get it right,  people! 

  7. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

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    Get it right, people!

    With a moniker like Lord Spatula…I guess you would know a thing or two about flippin’ burgers eh? :em95: *ducks*

  8. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    With a moniker like Lord Spatula…I guess you would know a thing or two about flippin’ burgers eh? :em95: *ducks*

    Mr. Korrioth…target that smartass and fire. 

  9. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

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    Mr. Korrioth…target that smartass and fire.

    What? No trial? Jeesh! This place is really going to the dogs!!
    *pun most certainly intended*

  10. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

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    With a moniker like Lord Spatula…I guess you would know a thing or two about flippin’ burgers eh? *ducks*

    I guess its a better thing that he isn’t “Lord Hoover”. *goes to warp*

  11. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I’m a little puzzed by the whole thing. I had freinds who worked in fast food when we were growing up. I heard the stories about “special sauce” and any manner of “special ingredients”, but salt? Stoopid indeed.

  12. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

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    guess its a better thing that he isn’t “Lord Hoover”. *goes to warp*

    :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99:

    *Gulp* No really, I wasn’t laughing Spats…*snicker*

  13. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

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    The whole thing ranks high in “stuk on stoopid”…

    Mmmm..”The Stoopid is strong with this one yes”?

    Oh well…I guess the grill jockey at Mc’d’s ignored John Kerry’s advice…”she din’t work hard and go to skool, she jus lukie she dint end up in Irak”.

  14. psychochick Comment by psychochick

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    I forget exactly, but about a year ago wasn’t there some fast food employee arrested for purposely doing something vile to food he knew was going to a policeman?

    Too many comments when I try to Google

  15. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

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    It’s ok Dejj Your one of dem der lib-RALs..we undestand

    No, I mean I am a little confused HERE. :em99:

    I barely remember the last McD or fast food restaurant I was in. It has been several years. I just don’t find them appetizing. I did years ago, but not now. Besides, there are so many other choices out there like Vietnamese, Thai, Korean, Russian, Indian, and yes, your better American establishments. Lately, I have been eating at this fine place.

    A much better quality of food for a reasonable price. If you have a Ruby’s in your area, check it out. You will really like it.

  16. Rurik Comment by Rurik

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    I wonder if this could have been some lame-brained attemtp at an anti-cop “prank”. Sort of like the Rear-end Jesse Jackass spitting in the mashed potatoes during his waitering days. Hmmmm. If people wanted to make a really bid deal of this, they could even stretch it into attempted murder by cooking. :em41:

    Remember, We’ve been told for years, by the liberals who matter, that salt is hazardous to your helth. Too much salt is a killer :em95: Right up there with fats, sugar, and second hand smoke.

    This could go all the way to as-salt and battery.

  17. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I am kinda confused here.

    McDonalds uses frozen meat patties. They don’t make the patties at the restaraunt, they are preformed pre-seasoned, pre-chewed patties made in hamburgerland somewhere and shipped frozen to each store.

    That part raised my Sith suspicions as well. Something doesn’t add up. I agree with others it’s a pretty BS situation for a cop to make an arrest out of, as I alluded to, the accused must have copped an attitude about what happened to push him over the line to pinch her ass.

  18. Unregistered Comment by jimmytheclaw

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    lol some idiot around here tried that with extra hot peppers and tobasco on a cops cheesesteak and got similar treatment. note to police haters if you try and poison a police officer with food you are serving them you are a dumbass if you think you can use a lame excuse to get out of being charged with a criminal offence

  19. Unregistered Comment by jimmytheclaw

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    That part raised my Sith suspicions as well. Something doesn’t add up. I agree with others it’s a pretty BS situation for a cop to make an arrest out of, as I alluded to, the accused must have copped an attitude about what happened to push him over the line to pinch her ass.

    an attitude with a confession followed by whatchya gonna do pig like the example i posted.

    anyone else watching patreaus

  20. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper

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    If you have a Ruby’s in your area, check it out. You will really like it.

    I’m glad I clicked your link first because I thought you might have meant “Ruby Tuesdays”. :em38:

  21. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Too much salt is a killer Right up there with fats, sugar, and second hand smoke.

    Well, as far as the salt, fat, and sugar — too much can kill you. What amount is too much is up to the individual involved. The three of them are directly responsible for one out of three in this country being overweight by more than just a few pounds.

    I don’t think I have heard any doctor say that sugar, fat, or salt in large porportions are good for you — in fact, they say just the opposite.

    Insurance companies are starting to charge people with “unhealthy habits” more for health care coverage. If you are an overweight or a smoker, you are going to pay a higher cost for medical insurance. They too realize that unhealthy living is driving health costs high.

  22. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    McDonalds uses frozen meat patties. They don’t make the patties at the restaurant, they are preformed pre-seasoned, pre-chewed patties made in hamburgerland somewhere and shipped frozen to each store. The pimple-faced kid tosses them on a grill for a specific period of time and slaps them on a bun.

    I thought that same thing. Micky D’s uses pre-made patties that are simply slapped on the grill and then on the bun. You have to ASK for salt packs to be added to the bag or if you are eating in you have to get it off the condiment tray. The only thing they should be salting ahead of time is the fries.

    Sounds like the whole crew is stuck on stoooopid. :em41:

  23. Unregistered Comment by wrbones

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    Awwww. Poor baby.

    Contempt of cop!

    His poor wittle feewings were hurt.

    Somebody has to pay!!!!

    Stupid all the way around. Clumsy burger flipper. Plus. Ethics-challenged shift manager. Plus! Cop on an authority/ego binge…who lacks proper table manners and is apparently culinarily challenged to begin with.

    Remember. Driving while eating is something they can give you a ticket for, after all.

    Equals fun times for all.

    Stupid is as stupid does, as they say.

    Actually, a cop arresting someone for something like that should frighten you just a little bit.

    You’re next.

  24. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    Yeah DJ!!,

    Rubys is a great place. I’ve eaten at the one in Idaho Falls many times…..

    I’m in the same boat when it comes to fast food. Due to a colonic condition that I’ve acquired, I have to watch my diet or I lock up tighter than shrillery’s chastity belt. The fastest food I ever eat is Spuds Fish ‘n’ Chips…..eating some as I write this. A double order with Bleu Cheese on the side for french fry dippin’

  25. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    wrbones-

    You’re so funny, but still a shit-head.

    Have all the fun you want, please do especially with lines like this:

    Cop on an authority/ego binge…

    Actually, a cop arresting someone for something like that should frighten you just a little bit.

    You’re next.

    Just keep that in mind the next time, the goblins boot your front door at 3 am and all you have at hand is your pathetic pecker.

    I agree he might have went a bit far on this arrest, but dealing with assholes everyday, some of which, wish you harm has an effect on your attitude. They’re human too…..

    Put that in your bong and smoke it, turd-sniffer.

    Fuckin’ drive-by trolls, just aren’t the quality they used to be.

  26. Unregistered Comment by LC Croaker

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    I personally find McDonalds’ burgers to be sickening to begin with. You don’t need to have salt spilled on them.

  27. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    I used to work in a Micky D’s, and actually, it’s rather easy to spill the salt on the patties. There is a salt shaker at the grill, as salt and pepper are the seasonings used. Large, industrial grade salt shaker, holds about a pound.

    The patties are indeed frozen. They stay that way from the time they are unloaded from the truck until they land on the grill, where they are cooked for approximately 3 minutes (5.5 for a Quarter Ponder.) Uncooked weight is 1.6 ounces (4 for the above mentioned QP.)

    If the meat is thrown away, it comes right off the P/L. You pick up the frozen patty and bop it on the edge of the grill a couple of times.

    Not condoning it, but I understand how it happens. But this was way beyond any reasonable reaction from the cop. Somebody is setting McD’s up for an ambulance chaser.

  28. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    “If it was too salty, why did (Adams) not take one bite and throw it away?” said Bull, who has worked at the restaurant for five months.

    I don’t know. Perhaps because he was hungry and didn’t have the time to shop around at fast-food restaurants until he encountered one where the mentally retarded fuckheads stirring the frying oil had the good sense to throw out spoiled meat rather than trying to pass it off as good to innocent passers-by?

    Where the fuck do they find those losers from life’s gene lottery?

    I suppose that if somebody had vomited on the meat, they’d have just tried to wipe it off before selling it?

    Probably not. They’d have called it a bonus.

    She said she didn’t know a police officer got one of the salty burgers because she couldn’t see the drive-through window from her work area.

    And just why the fuck does it matter WHO FUCKING BOUGHT IT, you silly, slimy, retarded sow???????

    What matters is that you and your simian clowns are too fucking stupid/greedy to simply throw out a couple of handfuls of spoiled meat, preferring to feed it to people instead.

    If you get a fucking yeast infection, stay off the Monistat, or you’ll wipe out the only intelligent life that ever inhabited your body.

  29. LC MoMinuteMan Comment by LC MoMinuteMan

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    Children’s Television Workshop Short Bus Role Call -

    Two obese Pattys, Special Ross, Lester Cheese pickin’ his bunions on the Sesame Street Bus.

    :em95:

  30. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    Get it right, people!

    “Have it your way”.

    :em99: :em93:

  31. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

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    “Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce,
    Don’t let tasteless adds’ upset us,
    All they want is that you send your money their waaaaay”

  32. Unregistered Comment by JakeTheSnake

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Ok DJ and the rest of you, you brought this on:
    Once there was a city bus driver who showed up to his bus one morning to begin his route, when he noticed someone had vandalized it overnight. The vandals had spray painted Bert, Ernie, Big Bird, and Oscar the Grouch all over his bus. Hmmm, that’s peculiar the driver thought, but he didn’t have time to remove the vandalism and began his route. At his first stop, he saw two rather large women waiting on the bench. They got up, jumped on the bus and one of them announced “Hi!! I’m Tricia and this is Pat”. “Good morning”, the driver said and he asked them to have a seat. The driver shook his head and drove on. At the next stop he came upon a young boy and his mother. He stopped the bus, and the mother, although not getting on, stuck her head in and said “Mr. bus driver, this is my son, Ross, and I want you to keep an eye on him and make sure nothing happens to him because he’s special”. The driver said OK, shut the door and continued on, shaking his head, thinking to himself about the strange start to his morning. He then came to the next stop, where he saw a nice looking young man wearing a suit. He thought ahhhhh, a normal person for once. He opened the door and the young man jumped on and proclaimed, “Hi!! I’m Lester Cheeks” The driver said “That’s great Lester, have a seat”, once again wondering to himself when his day was going to normalize. Just as things were going smooth, the driver looked into his rear view mirror and noticed that Lester had his shoes off and was picking at the bunions on his feet. The driver then just shook his head again and thought to himself, “that’s just great, I’m having the wierdest morning. Here I have two obese patties, special Ross, Lester Cheeks pickin’ bunions on a Sesame Street bus.

    /runnin’ for cover

  33. Unregistered Comment by farmerpaul

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    now, we all agree that the folks employed at mc’s are not the smartest. but why the fuck would you actually want someone arrested for this? First of all, this is right up there with the “hot coffee incident from years ago. My feelings is if you need to get something to eat at mc’s then you have the worst taste buds in the world. What did this moron order ther? The abortion burger? What else can you get there? Obviously this cop is a moron. How can one not taste all that salt and just not spit it out. I for one am not the most intelligent person in the world but if I would have tasted that nasty burger I would have gone back, bitched, asked for my money back and went elswhere. almost every place that there is a Macdonalds there are also other fast food places to eat at since they are zoned in a commercial zone. this person needs a mind fuck to see what the fuck is wrong with him. After talking to my cop friend this evening he could not believe it.!!!!! Total abuse of power…why in the hell would you arrest someone for this? what’s next, a cop at every fast food establishment to ensure tastiness? Do not blindly support this individual as obviously he has a serious authority problem. Also one might want to think, how did John Edwards make his living? answer; from stupid laws that allow this kind of judgement. and lets see here…..sending the goddamn burger sample off to the crime lab?????????
    nice!!
    waste more $$$$$!
    Obviously he didn’t eat it all and should have noticed. maybe he had an urgent call on the radio to attend to. What the fuck!!!!! how much taxpayer $ is this going to take? This sounds like a bunch of liberal speak here. I would love to be in the precinct and teasing him on his “big” bust. (think Lethal Weapon)

    This is one bust I hope gets thrown out of court!!!!

    The fast food establishment were morons (what if this person was told never to throw away the product) but the cop took this way beyond where it should have ended up at.
    I bet if you can get a picture of this cop he is a big fat slob…just guessing but this is what I have always found out these kind of people…..

    and think about this…
    if this person get convicted understand what kind of precedence this sets…that is scary

    either support common sense or don’t
    And I am not some troll-by either, been reading this blog for three years and it is my favorite. And I am also not a lib….I hail from the only state where Clinton came in third….

  34. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    As an aside, if you’ve ever seen a cop on a busy night trying to get some chow, eating is an event that occurs at world class Olympic speed.

    “Uuurp! What did I just eat?”

    “I dunno, what did I eat?”

    “Fuck it, what’s the next call?” Sound familiar JB?

    Jake, #32, you can run but you can’t hide. :em99:

  35. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P. Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P.

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Wil

    You’re not the only one. And, yes, I remember those monstrous aluminum salt shakers. Had the top come of one once, fortunately, I only wound up killing fou 10/1s…

  36. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P. Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P.

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Jake

    That’s roughly two minutes of life that you owe me…

    I suspect I’m not the only feeling that way, right, crunchie?

  37. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Jake, God will get you for that . . .

  38. Useful Idiot Comment by Useful Idiot

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Let me see if I have it right:

    Someone ate at McDonalds and subsequently became sick.

    DAYUM! Don’t that beat all.

  39. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Crunch-

    “Uuurp! What did I just eat?”

    “I dunno, what did I eat?”

    Yup, and jeebus pard !!! where did you put the wrapper or did you eat that too? Better check your fingers while you’re at it. (All at Code 3 doing a buck PLUS on the road). :em99:

  40. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    For those too young to remember, this is all that I could come up with for the 70s Burger King commercial jingle…

  41. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper

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    “Hold the pickles, hold the ketchup,
    McDonalds burgers make me retch up.”

  42. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    Jackboot, ya haven’t lived until you have tried to wolf down a whopper at about warp three, whilst reaching for the switch for the party lights, steering with yer knee while you try to make sure you don’t lose the lock on the radar. At 1 in the morning.

  43. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Wil-

    Does it still count with all the above except keeping the Laser-Gun (those Kustom Pro IIIs are expensive) from flipping over the seat and smashing into all the shit in the back seat? Well and a Wendy’s Double w/Cheese instead?…..ahh the days of yore…we do miss them at times.

    :em95:

  44. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    It’s even better in a 1982 Ford Galaxy 500. Great acceleration, but a turning radius like an ocean liner.

    ==========================

    All right, I’m off to bed. Ya’ll keep the shiny side up, and don’t forget to tip the waitresses!

  45. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Dumbasses, both.

    Oh! I saw one of North Kansas City’s finest looking for a goblin today. Nothing unusual there…..but….He was totin’ a real purdy AR-15 (maybe it was an M-4?). Somebody must’ve been misbehavin’ something fierce!

  46. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    …..ahh the days of yore…we do miss them at times.

    For some of us those days are a lot closer in the rear view than others, say about 4 hours ago. Which reminds me, I have absolutely no idea what I ate for lunch today other than that I think I actually tasted it and I KNOW that it left a greasy spot on my steering wheel. Now I’ll have to check the floorboard and see what wrapper was left behind. :em38:

    except keeping the Laser-Gun from flipping over the seat and smashing into all the shit in the back seat?

    That’s why I prefer radar. Mount it on the dash and don’t worry about it. And, you don’t have to aim it like the laser so it doesn’t interfere with yer nap! :em99:

  47. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    He was totin’ a real purdy AR-15 (maybe it was an M-4?). Somebody must’ve been misbehavin’ something fierce!

    Not for long ten.

  48. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Ya think the bad guy assumed room temperature, Crunchie? :em96:

  49. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Only if he was real stooopid and didn’t follow instructions well.

  50. Unregistered Comment by nerbygirl

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    This is the most idiotic blog that I have read on this site.
    A fast-food employee going to jail because she put too much salt on a burger????????
    Are you kidding me?

    The cop should have just returned the bad burger and we would be done with this crap.
    Grow up, Rotties!

    We have more important things to talk about—like our General in Iraq being called a TRAITOR(Betray us)
    Apparently, salt is more important.

    I’m losing faith in ALL of you on this site.

  51. Unregistered Comment by JakeTheSnake

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Lol I heard that about 20 years ago. My apologies to Crunchie, Guido, Wil, and God.

  52. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

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    How DARE us all have a bit of fun!!!!!! :em95:

  53. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I heard that about 20 years ago. My apologies to Crunchie, Guido, Wil, and God.

    20 years ago and it’s still rotting away in yer brain Jake. Now I have the same future to look forward to. Thanks pal! :em99:

    Nerby , We’re just having some fun with a stupid situation. I’m sure that there will be a fisking of that disgusting ad, and the disgusting behavior of Lykos and the other surrendercrats when Misha gets around to it. Have faith.

  54. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I’m losing faith in ALL of you on this site.

    Lighten up Nerby. I just about bawled my eyes out on the air during my radio show with a tribute to the victims of 9/11. I needed the laugh I got from reading the comments. There’s more than enough bad news out there to last us all a lifetime. Laughter keeps us from going insane.

  55. Useful Idiot Comment by Useful Idiot

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Lady H

    70’s jingles, you say? I’ll see your “special orders” and raise you a Frito Bandito.

  56. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Rubys is a great place. I’ve eaten at the one in Idaho Falls many times…..

    Were you aware that there is a Ruby’s at the Alderwood Mall, Woodinville, and Redmond? I go to the one at Alderwood because it is about a mile and a half from here.

    You really do feel like you have stepped back into time there.

    Just keep that in mind the next time, the goblins boot your front door at 3 am and all you have at hand is your pathetic pecker.

    What would he be charged with, assault with a dead weapon?

    [I would have thought BC would have caught such an easy flyball like this] :em99:

    Where the fuck do they find those losers from life’s gene lottery?

    You haven’t driven down the freeway up here lately, have you? I call them “Oblivions

    Someone ate at McDonalds and subsequently became sick.

    DAYUM! Don’t that beat all.

    It is actually more believable than a headline stating that someone lost weight by eating at McDonalds.

  57. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I worked at McDogmeats many years ago. You can salt the food. But what a silly bitch. Working in a pizza parlor is where it’s at. Once receiving a phone in from a total asshole customer, used to stiff the drivers and such. A real prick. You don’t put a condiment on something, you put it in it. Say half a pound of cayenne pepper in the thick and chewy crust. You won’t taste it…but half an hour later you will feel it..guaranteed. And if you got ‘roids they get real easy to count. Don’t ask me how I know this, please. Milton had it right, best served cold…or hot. Whatever.

  58. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    We have more important things to talk about—like our General in Iraq being called a TRAITOR(Betray us)
    Apparently, salt is more important.

    Nobody called Petraeus a “traitor”. You just added that yourself possibly through word association. While the MoveOn.org ad was stupid and non-productive, it was a clever play on words.

    Since you want to talk about it, here is my take on it:

    Petraeus was put in a position he never should have been put in. Why? Because Bush, who is the one ultimately responsible, is shirking his responsibility by putting the heat on his military leaders.

    BUSH needs to sit in front of Congress and spell out his plan and report if it is working or not. HE needs to answer the questions. It shouldn’t be left to the military to do that. Petraeus shouldn’t be put in the position where people are going to wonder whether he is acting as his own man or being a lackey for the administration.

    On a related note, what is all of this telling us? Is The Surge™ working or not?

    As I recall, the purpose of The Surge™ was to bring down the violence so that we could eventually get our collective asses out of there. But from what I gathered from Petraeus, The Surge™ was successful to the point that The Surge™ could be stopped in around nine months and the troop levels could drop back down to Pre-Surge™ levels. This makes it sound like The Surge™ was put in place to make The Surge™ successful enough for The Surge™ to end. In other words, we haven’t accomplished the original goal that The Surge™ was put in place for: to eventually leave Iraq.

    So, instead of the goal of The Surge™ being the reduction of the Pre-Surge™ troop levels of 130,000, it only means that we will cut the current level of 170,000 back down to 130,000.

    We’re makin’ progress. “Kicking Ass”.

  59. LC Ranger 6 Comment by LC Ranger 6

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Dave, you are one (very smart) stupid, tow the party line, dumbfuck sonofabitch.

    Wake up.

    Your party MUST lose this war for political gain or lose power.

  60. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Your party MUST lose this war for political gain or lose power.

    Hardly.

    The political gain comes from handling the situation that delivers results. Tangible results.

    The only thing Bush has managed to do with The Surge™ is to fool people into thinking that he actually accomplished something different.

    Yes, if you pump an area with thousands of troops, you are going to cut down violence and attacks. You don’t have to be a great military thinker to know that. But when you take them away, what happens? You get a return to the way things were before.

    The Surge™ didn’t accomplish anything sustainable. We can claim it was successful enough to remove the extra troops, but it does nothing to reducing and eventually removing American troops altogether.

    Security and political benchmarks have not been met, and under the current Iraqi government they aren’t likely to. All the American troop presence in the world isn’t going to sustain a lasting peace until those benchmarks are met.

    There is a reason why the retiring Chief of Staff is pushing for a troop reduction in Iraq. We cannot sustain our strength at this level indefinately.

    Democrats are pushing for a change of strategy in Iraq. Sure, there are people pushing for immediate withdrawal, but they don’t understand how impossible that actually is at this point. Of course it would be nice if we could just bring them all home in one week. It’s never going to happen no matter who is president or who has the majority in Congress.

    The only way we are going to leave Iraq is if there is a new government installed. I am guessing that before it is all said and done, Al-Sadr is going to be heading up Iraq with our blessing, because he is the one with the most juice over there right now. He is in control of an army second only to us. Heck, we’ve been training a lot of it over the past three years or so.

    I think this is the basic difference between the Bush Republicans and the Democrats: Bush doesn’t intend on ever leaving Iraq. Democrats want to leave Iraq eventually — the sooner the better. But realistically speaking, we probably have another two, maybe three years minimum to go over there AFTER Bush leaves office. The difference is going to be in the strategy.

  61. Deathknyte Comment by Deathknyte

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    We have more important things to talk about—like our General in Iraq being called a TRAITOR(Betray us)
    Apparently, salt is more important.

    I’m losing faith in ALL of you on this site.

    What? You expected them not to?

    nerby, I think you need a vacation. Go unwind somewhere. Your showing signs of stressing out.

  62. Unregistered Comment by leoni2, LC

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Wil,

    Jake, God will get you for that . . .

    No, Wil. God won’t get him for that. I will, and he will have no where to hide from the punishment he deserves for that!!!!! I just have to determine whether to use the tickler or the comfy chair.

  63. Unregistered Comment by DukeFenton

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    LC Wil pretty much covered this already, but just to clarify: McD’s patties are pre-frozen and pre-shaped, but they are *NOT* pre-seasoned. At some point during the grilling cycle the griller is supposed to sprinkle them with a specially balanced blend of salt and pepper. (If you’re ever there and bored, watch the guy and you should see this take place.) Some cooks do indeed have a heavier hand than others, so depending on which McDeath you go to and who’s on duty your burger might be noticeably salty.

    Yes I used to work there - but it was a long time ago. How long? Think McDLT…

  64. Unregistered Comment by JakeTheSnake

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Hmmmmm Leoni, how about the “comfy tickler chair”?

  65. LC Rurik Comment by LC Rurik

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Leoni2, LC

    No, Wil. God won’t get him for that. I will, and he will have no where to hide from the punishment he deserves for that!!!!! I just have to determine whether to use the tickler or the comfy chair.

    I cast a vote for the dreaded 16 ton weight.

  66. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I cast a vote for the dreaded 16 ton weight.

    As to myself:

    Release — … the TIGER!!!

  67. The Major Comment by The Major

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    #28 (Comment) by Emperor Misha I

    If you get a fucking yeast infection, stay off the Monistat, or you’ll wipe out the only intelligent life that ever inhabited your body.

    Jesus! That is about the funniest slam I have ever read/heard! Two thumbs up!

  68. Unregistered Comment by leoni2, LC

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    JakeTheSnake,

    Hmmmmm Leoni, how about the “comfy tickler chair”?

    Hmmm, I need to see if it’s in stock first.

    Rurik,

    I cast a vote for the dreaded 16 ton weight.

    No no no. That’s for the execution. I want to Torture him!!!

    Emperor Misha I,

    As to myself:

    Release — … the TIGER!!!

    You do realize there won’t be anything left to torture if we let the tiger loose, right?

  69. sig94 Comment by sig94

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I agree with JB, there had to be some extra curricula criminal mopery with intent to gawk in the first degree to get her ass busted. You go into a joint in uniform to grab a bite to eat - you almost can count on some asshole deciding he wants to ruin what little chance you have of digesting your food quietly. I never did respond to fools lightly when I had the rare opportunity to get a lunch break authorization from the dispatcher.

    That’s why it is important as a newbie to ask the veteran cops where to eat in a new territory. The joint’s owner will look out for your ass while you’re chowing down (usually while also writing a report). Let the owner handle the asshole, you don’t need the aggravation or the paperwork.

    Emperator, that Monistat crack was priceless. Yes Ms. Bull, that yeast infection is your friend and mentor and it’s probably the most intelligent thing that ever crawled into your “special place.”

    On a related note, the police cars of the late sixties, seventies and early eighties were the best for drinking coffee. The roll of padding on top of the dashboard usually stopped about 11 or 12 inches from the windshield right in front of the steering wheel. This made a nice backstop to wedge your styrofoam coffee cup so it wouldn’t slide off the dash and dump in your lap when you had to haul ass. The Fords were best for that. Of course nowadaze these young pups have cup holders. And we used to have to tear the plastic lids so we could drink and still leave the lid on to prevent spills - the cup manufacturers finally caught on to emergency responders’ need for self medication with caffeine.

  70. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P. Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P.

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    DukeFenton

    but it was a long time ago. How long? Think McDLT…

    Heh, I used to make McDLTs… And McPizza Mark I.

    (No joke, there have been two McPizza’s test marketed. I’ve had both of them. And preferred the first… (Sadly, the Mark I was best right before the timer ran out on it…))

    (Okay, does THIS give me wierdo geek creds in combo with using a Hazeltine 1500 and USRobotics 1200 baud to BBS?)

    (Or does this just make me a geek?)
    (Hey! At least I never rode a moped named “Tardis”!!!)

  71. Puddle Pirate Comment by Puddle Pirate

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Of course nowadaze these young pups have cup holders. And we used to have to tear the plastic lids so we could drink and still leave the lid on to prevent spills - the cup manufacturers finally caught on to emergency responders’ need for self medication with caffeine.

    Hey! I happen to like my cup holders, thankyouverymuch. Not that they’ve entirely prevented more than a few cups from still going all over the damn radio. Caught hell for that one. I was trying to explain “Look LT, it was like this…see, I was drifting through the corner, and then there was this bigass axle-eating pothole I didn’t see…”. Didn’t help.

    It’s those special moments that put the fun in code 3.

    And I’m totally with JB and Sig on this. There is no way in hell I’d put up with the paperwork for a minor offense like this, especially when tired and hungry, unless somebody seriously flunked the attitude test. And it sounds to me like this Mc-twit punk has a serious case of “Don’t you know who I AM!!” going on.

    Seems the stupid is strong with this one. Note to high school punks everywhere, Police Officers typically have a lot more self-restraint than your average citizen and will put up with a tremendous amount of shit without complaint, but don’t take that as a license to abuse the privilege.

  72. Unregistered Comment by wrbones

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    You made an assumption, there, Jackboot. I’ve known and dealt with cops all my life. Even sat beside ‘em in church. I’ve comforted them when things went wrong…when they had tears streaming down their faces. I’ve even watched their families for them under trying circumstances. I’ve even helped to council one or two when the job actually drove them certifiably crazy…and other cops wouldn’t have anything to do with them. I’ve even worked with cops to help drive gangs out of otherwise quiet neighborhoods.

    I’ve done the Marine Corps thing, including the disabled bit. I’ve lived in Little Mexico in Santa Ana and even spent a couple of years in Crack Town in South Phoenix. Cops are people, too. They aren’t perfect. I’ve known good cops and I’ve known bad cops. A bad cop will arrest a burger flipper for cooking a bad burger. A good cop, if he had the time, would have filed a complaint with the manager and then - maybe - notified the health inspector.

    When I have called the cops “for my own protection” it was usually just to clean up the mess, dispose of the bodies and haul the living off to jail. A four minute response time is very quick…but in four minutes time a lot of people can die, so it is best to be prepared to kill or to be killed.

  73. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    When I have called the cops “for my own protection” it was usually just to clean up the mess, dispose of the bodies and haul the living off to jail.

    :em99:

    Sweet!

    :em69:

  74. LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech Comment by LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P.

    (Okay, does THIS give me wierdo geek creds in combo with using a Hazeltine 1500 and USRobotics 1200 baud to BBS?)

    Noooo doubt.
    A sound engineer saw a box I screwed together back in ‘94 with 4 Turtle Beach sound cards in it,,8 16 bit audio lines in.
    World class audio hardware in a shoebox pc., ‘told me he didn’t know you could do that..
    I said “neither did I” ‘Just have to write to the SCSI drive.
    “Gotta respect anyone that can record broadcast quality with stone knives and bearskins..”
    When ya got the latest n’ greatest crest of technology,, folks are gonna expect lotsa dazzle.
    But if your stuff looks n’ sounds just as good, from a frankenstine swapmeet special of your own construction that just won’t quit,,Now, THAT is how ya get the Old Geek’s respect.

  75. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P. Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, M.o.P.

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Cheapshot

    A sound engineer saw a box I screwed together back in ‘94 with 4 Turtle Beach sound cards in it,,8 16 bit audio lines in.
    World class audio hardware in a shoebox pc., ‘told me he didn’t know you could do that..
    I said “neither did I” ‘Just have to write to the SCSI drive.

    ^bowing in awe^

    Just remembered something… I STILL have my Kay-Pro 16 with an NEC V-20 chip in the garage… Anybody know where I can come up with either a CGA standalone or a 9″ greenscale tube for it?

    (You see, it’s got this really cool text based dungeon game on it… But it’s clock locked like the original PC-XT Pac-Man, so running it on anything faster than the Kay-Pro is a fast route to “Game Over”…)