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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Are You SURE You Want My Input?
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You are viewing the Archives for 2007.......If you want the current page, CLICK HERE.......

Just got this from the DNC in my inbox:

Dear Emperor,

Our organizing plan for 2008 has one critical component: you.

OK, it’s official: The DemCong are toast. If I’m their “one critical component”, then their entire campaign is in critical condition.

Next month, we’re asking you — and we’re relying on you —

This is going to hurt a bit, I can tell you right now.

to stand up and take ownership of your own neighborhood.

What nonsense is this? Which part of “Emperor” did you not understand? It was in the salutation you wrote yourselves, after all. “Take ownership?”

“We’ll ask him, but we don’t think he’ll be very keen. You see, he’s already got one!”

It’s a key part of our 50-State Strategy, and the cornerstone of our plan for Democratic victory in 2008.

On Saturday, November 3rd we need you to host your friends and neighbors for the first national organizing event of the Presidential race — months ahead of the Republicans, and a year before we elect a Democratic president.

Why be so timid? Why not start hosting parties a full decade before elections? That way we’ll be sure that not even the kids of those participating will remember what it was all about.

You’ll get together, learn the plan, pledge your leadership, and then get started.

We aren’t going to play catch-up in 2008. We can’t afford to.

Then get off your incumbent derrieres, extract your thumbs from your recti and get to work, why don’t you? Unless, of course, you’re offering to pay for the party as well, in which case I’m all for it. Let’s PARTY! You didn’t mention any specific candidate, did you? No, you didn’t. Alllllrighty then.

Our organizers have already set up hundreds of events across the country. You can see if there’s one in your neighborhood or plan your own right here:

http://www.dumbassdonks.org/ComeCrashOurParty

Could we have the GPS coords as well? Please? Just because?

We’re ready to get our ground game moving, but we have a small problem: we don’t have a name for the event yet.

We’ve had meetings, sent emails, had passing conversations about it, but we’re still stuck.

…on Stupid™. Yes, we already knew that. So you want me to come up with a name for this party as well. This party that I’m supposed to plan, arrange, pay for and host for you? Gee, with deals as sweet as yours, it’s a bloody mystery that the DemCong doesn’t have members numbered in the billions already. It goes a long way toward explaining why the average IQ among your voter base tends to hover somewhere south of room temperature, though.

We’ve had the “National Organizing Kickoff” and the “50 State Canvass.” We’ve also had a couple of “Democratic Reunion” events. Right now we’re just generically calling it the “year out event.”

If you’re the cornerstone of our 2008 ground game, we figured we’d ask for your ideas on a name for the kickoff event. After all, campaigns and organizations are already asking you for everything from a campaign theme song to a bumper sticker slogan.

So, any ideas?

Sure.

How about the “Stalinist Revival Tour of ‘07?”

“100 Million Dead Was a Fluke. Let’s Try it Again?”

Actually, simply requiring all attendees to wear a simple cardboard sign on their backs saying “Kick Me, I’m a Retard!” would suffice, methinks. Simple, accurate and to the point, not to mention that you can save a lot on overhead by requiring them to print their own. Or at the very least pay somebody to do it for them. Microsoft Word™ might be a bit too complicated for them, as you guys found out when you tried to make those fake but accurate memos for Dan Rather’s 15 Minutes of Imbecility.

Please let me know what you think.

Very sincerely,

Misha I

46 Responses to “Are You SURE You Want My Input?”
  1. Unregistered Pingback by Bad idea

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    […] DNC sending Misha a fundraising invitation? Very, very, very bad idea. But good for […]

  2. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    Raising Taxes Together Tour 2007?

    America’s Enemies Friends and Family Plan?

    Kiss a Commie for Mommy Tour?

    Control Freaks Coming Together?

  3. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    btw, Can anyone register that website, or have you been in touch with GoDaddy already? Just askin’

    :em93:

  4. Unregistered Comment by DukeFenton

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    How about the Democrat Initiative for Clinton Kickoff? Each house party would be headed by a Host Education and Administrative Delegate.

    Who gets to be the Boss in General, Democrat Initiative for Clinton Kickoff Host Education and Administrative Delegates? :em93:

  5. Son Of The Godfather Comment by Son Of The Godfather

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    OMG, what an opportunity!
    I say “go for it”… Sign up, and when one of the “get togethers” is organized, Misha comes out in black robes holding a black candle in one hand, and freshly slaughtered chicken in the other…

  6. Light29ID Comment by Light29ID

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    hummmm Sounds like Rott t-shirts should be required dress for the celebration along with copious copies of Laura’s and Ann’s books.

  7. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    Duke, I had to read that twice. OMG!

    :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99: :em99:

  8. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    Damn, you guys are funnier than I am. I don’t like that. I don’t like that at all. :lol:

    Can anyone register that website, or have you been in touch with GoDaddy already? Just askin’

    Tell you the truth, Wil, I didn’t even check. Quick, hurry before somebody else snatches it up!

  9. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    Bravo Duke! Sad thing is they would probably never get it.

    I do like Godfathers’s idea though. Just add a picture of Rove over the altar and their lil heads would ehtplode.

  10. LC SkyeChild G.L.O.R. Comment by LC SkyeChild G.L.O.R.

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    Here’s my ideas:

    “Sippy Cups United”
    “Mommy’s basement flooded”
    Socialists “R” Us
    “Che is NOT Really Dead”

  11. ohio right wing nut Comment by ohio right wing nut

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Instead of a chicken could we sacrifice a hog to piss off the dnc’s buddies too?

    Just spitballin, thinking outside the box and all.

  12. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Socialists Uniting Campaign Kickoff And Sensational Shindig!

    Progressives In Social Solidarity Initial Election Soiree!

  13. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Thinking Americans Reviving Democratic Standards!

  14. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper

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    My turn…

    American Secularists and Socialists Hoping Only Liberal Enterprises Succeed!

  15. LC SkyeChild G.L.O.R. Comment by LC SkyeChild G.L.O.R.

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    WAAAYYY off topic, but Chris Muir (Day by Day cartoon) has sent out an SOS of sorts.

    http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/

    I’m anticipating the worst. His sister has been ill with cancer for quite some time.

  16. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

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    http://www.dumbassdonks.org/ComeCrashOurParty

    I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.
    :em99: :em93:

  17. Redeard Comment by Redeard

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    Help Americans Live Free And Stay Strong

  18. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Hey! I think they switched our email or something. I keep getting all the RNC like this one:

    Maybe we can go to a neutral place and swap? :em99:

    Oh, and NO, I DIDN’T DONATE MONEY TO HIM. He must have me confused with someone else.

  19. Hardclimber54 Comment by Hardclimber54

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    Well Folks, you REALLY crack me up!

    It goes a long way toward explaining why the average IQ among your voter base tends to hover somewhere south of room temperature, though.

    Sire, I am inclined to believe that the said IQ would probably be a perfect match to their shoe size, but what do I know about politics in the good old U.S.?
    That being said, we have a fair amount of our voters exhibiting the same characteristics here in Canada…

    I can just see the headlines as the “party” gets underway “Democrats rally to compare shoe sizes and IQs, total confusion ensues”. Sorry couldn’t resist!
    Euh, would I be invited..?

  20. Unregistered Comment by leoni2, LC

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    What, they’re bugging you too, Misha?

    I got something similar in the Spring. Only mines said this:

    Special Notice for Mr. Stanley Alston

    You have been selected to represent Philadelphia, PA in the 2007 Grassroots Survey of Democratic Leader. (I’m sure you can imagine me laughing my head off upon seeing this. Me, a Democratic Leader? Okay, where’s Allen Funt, cause this has Candid Camera written all over it.) Survey documents registered in your name are enclosed.

    Let’s just say I had fun with my replies, didn’t send the DNC shit money when they asked for it and in fact sent the thing back to them on their dime instead of putting a stamp to help defray the cost.

    I wish I was a fly on the wall when Howie howl in anger upon seeing some of my responses.

  21. Unregistered Comment by Admiral of the Imperial Seventh Fleet

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    How about a little truth in advertising?

    We’re Here For Your Money

    Logic Not Needed

    We Hate America

    We Hate Freedom

    Go Osama Go!

    I Know You Are But What Am I?

    Like a Key Party, but You Won’t Like The Fuckin You Get From US.

  22. LC RobertHuntingdon Comment by LC RobertHuntingdon

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    Hmm Dave, since you did NOT donate but he won anyway, maybe this year the secret to getting a demoncrap elected you have been seeking is to donate frequently and heavily to every republican candidate in sight.

    /sarc

    RH

  23. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    Oh, and NO, I DIDN’T DONATE MONEY TO HIM. He must have me confused with someone else.

    Dave. Dave. Come over to the Dark Side, Dave.

  24. Unregistered Comment by T

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    Son of the Godfather - DAMN, SON, Give us a warnin’ afore you do that!! I nearly spit coffee all over me keyboard!!

    Hell, I believe in truth in advertising - I’d just recommend “Commies LIVE!” and be done with it. Then maybe an accident happens while everyone is at the party, ya know?? What a shame…

  25. Unregistered Comment by T

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Oh, And I had fun when the Assholes, Commies and Liberals Union sent me an invitation to join. The fools put in a letter with a self-addessed and postage authorized envelope.

    The envelope got clear-taped to a cinderblock. The US postal service took it and honored it. (Course, I AM friends with the postman…) Wonder how much postage a first-class cinderblock runs?

    They don’t send me those envelopes anymore… No sense of humor I guess…

  26. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    Maybe we can go to a neutral place and swap? :em99:

    Nah, we wouldn’t want to destroy the comedic possibilities here, Dave :lol:

  27. Unregistered Comment by LC Elchonon, Imperial Chief of Civil Disobedience

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    way OT but I need some help here, now that the fit has hit the shan and we settlers have been AGAIN unjustly lynched by the medfia and their anarchist leftwing lovers.

    A video of our simchat torah parade was taken, in it you see us settlers smashing the shit out of the arabs but that is NOT what happend.

    This was a provoked and instigated incident on the arabs part.

    The video posted by the ISM fags has been edited and chopped but one part they could not erease shows a arab standing on the sideline as a jew argues with a arab and then the arab runs and jumps onto the jew starting to beat him which caused the fight to erupt.

    So can anyone help me ? I want to circled mouhamad’s face as he stands on the sideline and runs and attacks the jew clealry showing that this accident was started by tge arabs.

  28. Mad Insomniac Comment by Mad Insomniac

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    Duke :em99:
    That’s worthy of Monty Python’s The Life of Brian. My thoughts:

    1979: The Sequel

    Democrats: You bring the whine, we’ll cut the cheese

  29. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    T

    The envelope got clear-taped to a cinderblock.

    Thats beautiful man *sniff*, just beautiful.

  30. LC Moriarty Comment by LC Moriarty

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    Maybe we can go to a neutral place and swap? :em99:

    Nah, we wouldn’t want to destroy the comedic possibilities here, Dave :lol:

    Hey, whatever you two want to “swap” in a “neutral place” is none of my business.

    (Whatever it is you young people are calling it these days…) :em99:

  31. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    Hey, whatever you two want to “swap” in a “neutral place” is none of my business.

    (Whatever it is you young people are calling it these days…) :em99:

    I’ll let that one fly for now, on one condition: Tell me, do these new jeans make my butt look fat? Be honest, now.

  32. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Tell me, do these new jeans make my butt look fat? Be honest, now.

    Yeah, like I’m gonna answer that! I’ve been married to damn long to fall for that one.
    Again.

  33. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    Tell me, do these new jeans make my butt look fat? Be honest, now.

    The majority of us wimmen actually ask “do these new jeans make me look fat?” Not just the butt, the whole body. (in my case, the belly)

  34. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Tell me, do these new jeans make my butt look fat? Be honest, now.

    After twenty-six years of marriage, I am going to answer that? “No, you make the jeans look fat.” I’ve been called a fool but never stupid. Not yet, anyway. I bought my wife a .45 for her fiftienth birthday, she is almost through menopause, takes her targets to work, writing on them I have PMS…make my day or Hot flashes make ammo blow up. . No, you look fine in those jeans, no shit, really fine…etc.

  35. BauerPower Comment by BauerPower

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Oh, And I had fun when the Assholes, Commies and Liberals Union sent me an invitation to join. The fools put in a letter with a self-addessed and postage authorized envelope.

    The envelope got clear-taped to a cinderblock. The US postal service took it and honored it. (Course, I AM friends with the postman…) Wonder how much postage a first-class cinderblock runs?

    They don’t send me those envelopes anymore… No sense of humor I guess…

    At least you didn’t take the flaming bag of poo dare, and set the bag on fire at their office and watch one the morons stomp the bag and the poop out.

  36. BauerPower Comment by BauerPower

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Well, speaking of suggestions, who has suggestions on how to welcome back Al Gore for winning the Nobel Peace Prize….

    http://apnews.myway.com/article/20071012/D8S7KOB82.html

  37. Hardclimber54 Comment by Hardclimber54

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Lady Heather

    You ladies will ALWAYS look fantastic in any jeans, pants, slacks, whatever, you’re it! Why do I feel like I just stepped into a minefield everytime a woman ask me a question like that though…

    Bauer Power

    I don’t know what to suggest for Goriepoo’s return. An honour guard composed of parka-wearing folks holding snow shovels and displaying a red clown nose on their faces..? With a Nobel prize, if you think he was insufferable before, what will he be like now!?!?!? What have we done to deserve this, pray tell!?!

  38. Unregistered Comment by Jerry

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    A little off topic, but, none the less, still related: http://www.anncoulter.com/cgi-local/printer_friendly.cgi?article=211

  39. Hardclimber54 Comment by Hardclimber54

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Jerry

    That Ann Coulter has some bite, doesn’t she!?! I am starting to like her… Always interesting to watch the political arena in the States, our own politicians here in Canada tend to be uniformely boring…

  40. BigDogg Comment by BigDogg

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    I once - once - received a survey from the DNC. It was 4 or 5 pages long, and asked for input a wide array of policy issues. I did my best to answer as a Greenpeace/PETA/ELF/DU/MoveOn/Truther freak. I then enclosed my contribution - one cent - and mailed it off.

    I have never received anything else from the DNC. :em93:

  41. Unregistered Comment by fanbladesaresharp

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    From checking at goDaddy, dumbass donks brings up this:

    Curiously, “DomainsbyProxy” business purpose is to privately and anonomously register domains, masking what can be found in the public WHOIS.

    Please note: the registrant of the domain name is specified
    in the “registrant” field. In most cases, GoDaddy.com, Inc.
    is not the registrant of domain names listed in this database.

    Registrant:
    Domains by Proxy, Inc.

    DomainsByProxy.com
    15111 N. Hayden Rd., Ste 160, PMB 353
    Scottsdale, Arizona 85260
    United States

    Registered through: GoDaddy.com, Inc. (http://www.godaddy.com)
    Domain Name: DUMBASSDONKS.ORG
    Created on: 11-Oct-07
    Expires on: 11-Oct-08
    Last Updated on: 11-Oct-07

    Administrative Contact:
    Private, Registration DUMBASSDONKS.ORG@domainsbyproxy.com
    Domains by Proxy, Inc.
    DomainsByProxy.com
    15111 N. Hayden Rd., Ste 160, PMB 353
    Scottsdale, Arizona 85260
    United States
    (480) 624-2599 Fax — (480) 624-2599

    Technical Contact:
    Private, Registration DUMBASSDONKS.ORG@domainsbyproxy.com
    Domains by Proxy, Inc.
    DomainsByProxy.com
    15111 N. Hayden Rd., Ste 160, PMB 353
    Scottsdale, Arizona 85260
    United States
    (480) 624-2599 Fax — (480) 624-2599

    Domain servers in listed order:
    NS29.DOMAINCONTROL.COM
    NS30.DOMAINCONTROL.COM

    Registry Status: CLIENT DELETE PROHIBITED
    Registry Status: CLIENT RENEW PROHIBITED
    Registry Status: CLIENT TRANSFER PROHIBITED
    Registry Status: CLIENT UPDATE PROHIBITED
    Registry Status: TRANSFER PROHIBITED

  42. LC Rurik Comment by LC Rurik

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I really wish I could claim personal credit for this, but….I had a friend once upon a time, who filled out one of those questionnaires and filled in a contribution of five thousand dollars. But then he neglected actually to enclose a check. After a little while, he tells me, they called to remind him about his generous contribution and ask for the check which they never had received. At which point my friend became very upset, saying he had sent the check and how could they lose such a thing? He kept them running around searching the office and their bank accounts for several weeks looking for the missing 5K. Eventually when the game got old, he just told them that if they couldn’t keep track of his generous contriubtion, they had no business trying to run the public budget, and he’d never vote for another democrat again.

  43. LC Rurik Comment by LC Rurik

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Caveman,

    No, you look fine in those jeans, no shit, really fine…etc.

    In such situations the appropriate answer has always been, “Dear, you’d look much better without those jeans.”

  44. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Rurik, 42 & 43, bravo!

    I’ll definitely remember that answer to the jeans question!

  45. Hardclimber54 Comment by Hardclimber54

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Rurik, Crunchie

    In such situations the appropriate answer has always been, “Dear, you’d look much better without those jeans.”

    Guys, I GUARANTEE you that the response to this will be “I knew it, they DO make me look fat!” And then my friends, just TRY to get out of it. It is easier to get out of LOCKED ON from an Air National Guard F-16 (done it hehehe…) than to escape that one. My advice, cut in the afterburners and disappear for at least 3, 4 hours. Upon your return, look contrite (big hurt puppy eyes seem to work) and say NOTHING unless she mentions it again. If she does, respond, with FEELING, “I didn’t want to see you hurt like this, I preferred to remove myself from your anguish” (be creative guys!) and give her a hug. Flowers help as well…

    OK, now I am OPEN season for the ladies, that certain!

    Dreeeeb, dreeeeeeb, dreeeeeb , missile lock!

  46. Unregistered Comment by Jerry

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Hell, just tell her that, at least, the Goodyear blimp has a better shape and gives a smoother ride! :em95: