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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Oh No, It’s Halliburton Again!
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For years, the Nutroots have been trying to tell us that Evil Scientists of the BushHitlerHalliburtonCheneyJooos Conspiracy™ are tinkering with the weather to Kill Black Peepul!™, and now it turns out that they were absolutely right (link thanks to Sir Christopher):

Scientists have made a breakthrough in man’s desire to control the forces of nature – unveiling plans to weaken hurricanes and steer them off course, to prevent tragedies such as Hurricane Katrina.

Rrrrright! We all know, the Un-Reality-Based Community of Tinfoiled Twats tell us so, that they’re doing it to cause tragedies! And then they send in the Air National Guard to blow up the levees! Or something.

The damage done to New Orleans in 2005 has spurred two rival teams of climate experts, in America and Israel, to redouble their efforts to enable people to play God with the weather.

We suppose that people building flood levees along major rivers are “playing G-d with nature” as well. Better to just let the floods drown everybody. Because Mother Gaia Wills It So!™

Under one scheme, aircraft would drop soot into the near-freezing cloud at the top of a hurricane, causing it to warm up and so reduce wind speeds. Computer simulations of the forces at work in the most violent storms have shown that even small changes can affect their paths – enabling them to be diverted from major cities.

Soot? SOOT???? But, but, millions of women and children will immediately choke to death as a result! Who will pay for the carbon offsets? The world’s oceans will rise by 2, er 5, er 7,000 feet overnight! Will somebody PLEASE Think of the Childreeeeeennnnnn!™

And, obviously, that scourge of mankind, the plague that has been haunting civilization ever since we got the idea to start one:

The MIT team has now hired a professor of risk management to advise on steps necessary to protect themselves from legal action by communities affected if a hurricane is diverted. It is pressing for changes to US law and for an international treaty to settle possible disputes between neighbouring countries.

Lawyers, of course. You can’t take a dump nowadays without finding at least two of the slimy bottom feeders swimming around in the bowl, sifting through your feces to find something actionable.

Mr Alamaro said: “The social and legal issues are daunting. If a hurricane were coming towards Miami with the potential to cause damage and kill people, and we diverted it, another town or village hit by it would sue us. They’ll say the hurricane is no longer an act of God, but that we caused it.”

Er, Mr. Alamaro? They’re already doing that, so there’s really not much of a difference there.

It’s All Bush’s Fault™ anyway.

18 Responses to “Oh No, It’s Halliburton Again!”
  1. Mike M Comment by Mike M

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    The damage done to New Orleans in 2005 has spurred two rival teams of climate experts, in America and Israel, to redouble their efforts to enable people to play God with the weather.

    Under one scheme, aircraft would drop soot into the near-freezing cloud at the top of a hurricane

    The author won’t come right out and say it, but you know what he’s thinking - “Where’s ‘the Bush Administration’ and its Zionist lackies going to get all that soot?”. That’s right, straight from the ashes of incinerated hippies, lawyers, reporters and assorted brown-skinned people.

  2. hitnrun Comment by hitnrun

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    Mr Alamaro said: “The social and legal issues are daunting. If a hurricane were coming towards Miami with the potential to cause damage and kill people, and we diverted it, another town or village hit by it would sue us.

    Uh…yeah, you would fucking think they might, since you just threw a hurricane at their town and everything.

    To these NWO trekkie masturbators, anyone who objects to the utopian promise of deific technology is a jutting-chin hick barbarian godbag.

    The irony of who, in this situation, is really corrupting natural processes in dangerous and unpredictable ways is apparently lost to the Community of Hope.

  3. Sir Christopher Comment by Sir Christopher

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    Bush Lied: People Tie-dyed

  4. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    It’s All Bush’s Fault™ anyway.

    Au contraire, Your Darthness. You’ve known about this for years.

    I just hope you okayed it going public.

    Meanwhile in Bizzaro World™, Ray Nagin has been asked to speak at an ECONOMIC conference in my hometown.

    Unbelievable.

  5. LC Rurik Comment by LC Rurik

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    Lady Heather,

    I’m so sorry for you. Perhaps if someone could drop a large amount of soot on Mayor Nagin’s schoolbus could he be diverted elsewhere? :em02:

  6. Unregistered Comment by peanuttree

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    Okay, legal issues aside, am I the only one who realizes that this simply isn’t true? Wow, “computer models” say we can influence hurricanes, that must make it true

    We absolutely CANNOT influence such huge phenomena of nature, and IF we are ever able to, it won’t be for another 300 years or so - but frankly I would guess we simply NEVER will.

    It’s this line of thinking (that humans are that powerful) that feeds this global warming B.S. It sure is more comfortable and easier to think that we have any real, significant influence on nature, but the harsh truth is we don’t. We only control the immediate world around us, and barely affect it beyond that, and frankly we’re only alive because of nature’s current “generosity” if you will. It will only take one strong disease to kill scores of people, or (ACTUAL) changes in the weather/sun or tectonics/geology of our own planet to seriously F-up our society - not to mention that at any moment our entire planet could be wiped out by a comet, and we would barely know it’s coming (and it’s not all that unlikely).

    Sure we build some impressive tall buildings, and cured some diseases, and managed to figure out how to feed ourselves well, and otherwise do well for our OWN interests, and have and still do pollute and destroy thousands of acres of our world every year, but this is NOTHING compared to the ENTIRE EARTH, not to mention the UNIVERSE.

    People, stop thinking we humans are anything more than a fart in the world.

  7. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    What I want to know is why is the Bushhitlerjooo cabal even pretending to work on the mighty Weather Control Machine, when anybody who attends the VRWC meetings knows we’ve had it already for several years.

    Don’t you people read the memos! Jeesh. :em98:

  8. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

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    Funny thing….the vast majority of klansmen I knew, and from my time in the south I knew a few….damn near all of them were democrats.

  9. ACLPoo Comment by ACLPoo

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    I’m sorry to go OT for a second, but I am issuing a FATWA against the lowlife smegma who did this:

    http://www.click2houston.com/news/14384502/detail.html

    I want the death penalty. I don’t care if it’s a 12 year old kid, I want the death penalty. It would be an honor to be allowed to flip the switch that kills this animal. I want death, a river of blood. After a fair trial, of course…..

  10. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    ACLPoo

    You’ll have to beat me to that switch buddy! Fucking ignorant savages!

    That’s the face of our domestic enemies LC’s. Fuck them, fuck the hose they rode in on, and fuck every little cocksucker who ever so much as smiled at the disgusting little bags of shit!

    They’ll fuck up and brag about it to someone, and when they get arrested I KNOW that they will “resist arrest with violence” and will be dealt with “appropriately”. That and be real clumsy getting in and out of the cruiser. I hope one day I can buy the arresting officer a beer or three.

    :em98:

  11. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

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    I consider what these life forms do….I would have no difficutly killing one of them, none whatsoever. If this was a protest, I can only think back to the times I have been called an idiot, both here and elsewhere, or laden to capacity with human waste products, for daring mention an obvious truth. Their lust for power, their rabid hatred of Bush insatable. What stops them is amendment two, for while they may be cowards, many are not fools. For while this spiritual dreck has hurt many people, he, she or they lack the courage to cop to it. Do they really believe we will weary of this and capitulate? Judging by gun sales nationwide I would say not…….

  12. LC SkyeChild G.L.O.R. Comment by LC SkyeChild G.L.O.R.

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    enabling them to be diverted from major cities.

    So, it’s okay to destroy and kill people in SMALLER cities.

  13. NevadaDailySteve Comment by NevadaDailySteve

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    peanuttree

    Okay, legal issues aside, am I the only one who realizes that this simply isn’t true? Wow, “computer models” say we can influence hurricanes, that must make it true.

    It’s called sympathetic magic. Primitive cultures believe the symbol IS the thing and if you manipulate the symbol the thing just goes along for the ride. Voodoo practitioners swear by it.

    But seriously. They can’t get the weather right a week in advance and they’re trying to convince us they have models that can accurately predict what will happen if they try something that has never been done before. What if their models are wrong? What about the legal ramifications if they try something and it makes the hurricane worse, or makes it appear to be worse? I mean hurricanes have intensified and abated for no perceived reason whatsoever.
    Nine out of 10 scientists believe the 10th guy is a nut case, and they are usually right. Mostly because nine out of 10 scientists are. Nut cases that is.

  14. LC Hardclimber54 Comment by LC Hardclimber54

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    Fanusi

    You make an excellent point! I can just see it now, the Prez pondering a map… “Hum, this sucker is right off the coast of Iran and Tehran is having a “Death to America” street fest, wonder how they would like a little wind and rain…”. Brilliant, you are brilliant! :em93: :em99:

    As for dropping soot, well, why not drop lawyers!?! It would not change the course of a hurricane, but sure would improve the climate on the surface, don’t you think! We could replace the old expression “it’s raining cats and dogs” with “it’s raining fucking lawyers!”. I like the latter one better…

    If these poor misguided “scientists” think they can fool with Lady Weather and get away with it, they have another thing coming, too bad the rest of us will be doing the suffering while they are being proved wrong… again!

  15. Unregistered Comment by Snarkmistress

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    Um, hate to burst these scientists’ bubbles, but back in the 1960s, they “seeded” a hurricane to try to make it dissipate. Anyone remember Camille? I wasn’t born yet, but apparently, it was going up the east coast, they dumped some chemical or other into the top of it, and then it swooped BACK DOWN and entered the gulf, obliterating Mississippi.

    And Lady Heather - have your leaders listen to everything Ray Nagin says. Then have them do the opposite. P’cola will flourish!

  16. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Um, hate to burst these scientists’ bubbles, but back in the 1960s, they “seeded” a hurricane to try to make it dissipate.

    Hon, you’ve been mis-informed. They “spilled their seed” into that poor, oppressed hurricane and she got preggers. Well, those damned hormones kicked in and the rest is, as they say, “history“.

    :em93:

  17. Unregistered Comment by leoni2, LC

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    ACLPoo,

    I’d just read the story from Houston. May I live to be 100, I will never understand why some morons seem to get some twisted joy from doing that. I just hope the person or persons who did the act will be caught and get his head bashed in. A lot!!!!

    As for the weather story, oh please, tell me another fairy tale. When are these idiots going to join the rest of us in reality land? Control the weather? Excuse me. :em01: :em01: :em01: :em01: :em01: