For years, the Nutroots have been trying to tell us that Evil Scientists of the BushHitlerHalliburtonCheneyJooos Conspiracy™ are tinkering with the weather to Kill Black Peepul!™, and now it turns out that they were absolutely right (link thanks to Sir Christopher):
Scientists have made a breakthrough in man’s desire to control the forces of nature – unveiling plans to weaken hurricanes and steer them off course, to prevent tragedies such as Hurricane Katrina.
Rrrrright! We all know, the Un-Reality-Based Community of Tinfoiled Twats tell us so, that they’re doing it to cause tragedies! And then they send in the Air National Guard to blow up the levees! Or something.
The damage done to New Orleans in 2005 has spurred two rival teams of climate experts, in America and Israel, to redouble their efforts to enable people to play God with the weather.
We suppose that people building flood levees along major rivers are “playing G-d with nature” as well. Better to just let the floods drown everybody. Because Mother Gaia Wills It So!™
Under one scheme, aircraft would drop soot into the near-freezing cloud at the top of a hurricane, causing it to warm up and so reduce wind speeds. Computer simulations of the forces at work in the most violent storms have shown that even small changes can affect their paths – enabling them to be diverted from major cities.
Soot? SOOT???? But, but, millions of women and children will immediately choke to death as a result! Who will pay for the carbon offsets? The world’s oceans will rise by
2, er 5, er 7,000 feet overnight! Will somebody PLEASE Think of the Childreeeeeennnnnn!™
And, obviously, that scourge of mankind, the plague that has been haunting civilization ever since we got the idea to start one:
The MIT team has now hired a professor of risk management to advise on steps necessary to protect themselves from legal action by communities affected if a hurricane is diverted. It is pressing for changes to US law and for an international treaty to settle possible disputes between neighbouring countries.
Lawyers, of course. You can’t take a dump nowadays without finding at least two of the slimy bottom feeders swimming around in the bowl, sifting through your feces to find something actionable.
Mr Alamaro said: “The social and legal issues are daunting. If a hurricane were coming towards Miami with the potential to cause damage and kill people, and we diverted it, another town or village hit by it would sue us. They’ll say the hurricane is no longer an act of God, but that we caused it.”
Er, Mr. Alamaro? They’re already doing that, so there’s really not much of a difference there.
It’s All Bush’s Fault™ anyway.