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His Majesty isn’t exactly on Jack Cafferty’s shortlist of people he has to write Christmas cards to, but we fail to see what the big friggin’ deal is with him pointing out the obvious the other day when he, referring to the narcolepsy-inducing, nauseating 24/7 coverage of America’s most fake boobs dying, asked Wolf Blitzer if Anna Nicole Smith was still dead.
Maybe it’s because they don’t like Jack very much, we know that we don’t, but in this particular case he hit the nail square on the head.
So’s to eliminate any confusion and avoid endless discussions about irrelevant matters, here’s our take on it (and, we suspect, Jack’s too):
No, we don’t take any delight in Anna Nicole’s passing. She never harmed us or anybody we knew, as a matter of fact we don’t think she harmed anybody at all.
No, there’s nothing funny about the way she died. If there were, we’d have been posting tasteless jokes about it since the news broke, because that’s what we do. But there is nothing funny about a young woman screwing up her life beyond belief and ending up feeling that her only recourse is to take the short route out of this Vale of Tears. It’s quite sad and, unfortunately, it happens every day. His Imperial Vileness hopes and prays that G-d may find mercy on her soul and that she might find the peace and happiness that she obviously was unable to find here on Earth.
What we find truly, utterly sickening and, moreover, an utter waste of our time, is when the networks decide that she, because of her having managed to install a pair of truly magnificent fake mammaries on herself, is worthy of wall-to-wall coverage when she kicks the bucket. What we find even MORE sickening is that people who had absolutely no use for her vapid self when she was still breathing, suddenly decide that she’s the reincarnation of Mother Theresa because her vital signs happened to suddenly cease.
She was a gold-digging, subretarded, inheritance-hunting prostitute when she was alive and we, for the life of us, can’t see why her lack of breathing suddenly changed all of that.
As a matter of fact, if it wasn’t for a the lack of a Y chromosome, two silicone boobs, no Senate seat and no history of betraying her own nation, she’d be John Kerry.
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Indeed.
February 9th, 2007 at 9:25 PMUsing
Are you QUITE certain that Jihadi Johnnie al-Qerry has one of the above, Boss?
February 9th, 2007 at 9:28 PMUsing
My Lord, Fox News is the worst when it comes to drooling over the latest tabloid story.
Let me pull an excerpt from my lowly myspace blog. And I’m the most anti-conspiracy theory person on the planet. I just figured out the odds.
Back, a little more seriously, to the original point. So, this Howard K. Stern just happens to be present at the scene of the very premature deaths of a mother and son under questionable circumstances within a short period of time. One thing about me is my mind picks up on events that perk up my ears, then the old brain just takes over. Hmmm, and millions of $ could be involved.
Ask yourself, because all my friends are intelligent…What are the odds of this? Think about it. You’re all young and healthy. What are the odds you’ll die this year? I’m not talking about a traffic accident or a drawn out battle with cancer or AIDS. And what are the odds your mother will die the same year? Again, just drop dead. And what are the odds that the same guy will be there? I’ll tell you. Astronomical. Just sayin’s all.
Speaking of astronomical, I’m glad I never dated an astronaut.
February 9th, 2007 at 9:35 PMUsing
This caught the Dead Pools waaay off guard.
February 9th, 2007 at 9:58 PMUsing
Not only would she have been a better Senator than John F’ing Kerry when she was alive, I’m quite sure she’d still be a better Senator in her present condition.
Sudden death is wasted on the wrong people sometimes.
February 9th, 2007 at 10:16 PMUsing
Personnaly I don’t give a shit!
February 9th, 2007 at 10:32 PMHer death only served to push the crazy space lady to the side and if OJ were to be found dead tomorrow, the bimbo would be shuffled to the side as well. Our media sucks! Jack sucks too. Not for this comment but for all the other wonderful comments that flow from his piehole.
I do however, disagree that this silicon bitch never hurt anyone. What about her son? What kind of example did she give him? How much love was this young man shown? What chance did he have in life?
Maybe with her death, that little girl now has a chance but I kind of doubt it. Poor little thing is just a pawn!
Using
Damnit, Guido beat me to it. (grumble grumble grouse)
February 9th, 2007 at 10:50 PMUsing
If it weren’t for the wall-to-wall coverage of this, the networks would have to report the news.
The story here, if it qualifies, is the dueling would-be daddies who probably could give less than two shits if the kid wasn’t in line to become a multimillionaire.
February 9th, 2007 at 11:06 PMUsing
And your post is one of the reasons why I love the Rott. Yeah she died, condolences for the family. But I don’t understand why all the attention. SHe never actually contributed anything to society. Hell I am pissed at the news networks because Our soilders out there in Iraq and Afganistan deserve all the attention and support.
February 9th, 2007 at 11:51 PMUsing
Right now, I am somebody the media hates with a passion: I don’t have TV and therefore have been spared from this garbage. Come to think of it, not having TV has spared me from a lot of the news media garbage. It’s rather pleasant.
February 10th, 2007 at 12:11 AMUsing
Like I said over at my blog:
February 10th, 2007 at 5:10 AMUsing
I agree that we pay waaaayyyyy too much attention to people like her, who never actually contributed anything to society. We should focus on real news. :annoyed_tb:
February 10th, 2007 at 5:31 AMUsing
Hey, Spats ol’ bud, I had to get something yesterday. After all, Gunsniper beat me to the “FIRST!” (And then didn’t even gloat about it…) :rolleyes_tb:
February 10th, 2007 at 7:43 AMUsing
my thoughts exactly.
February 10th, 2007 at 9:33 AMUsing
Sorry, the whole damn thing makes me giggle.
February 10th, 2007 at 9:50 AMUsing
Sure was nice of you Dick to come up with a headstone already… :lol_wp:
Good job!
February 10th, 2007 at 10:33 AMUsing
Hey, somebody had to ge there.
February 10th, 2007 at 11:55 AMUsing
Hmmm Don’t really know what to say about this.
February 10th, 2007 at 12:12 PMUsing
Makes you think, doesn’t it? All that gold digging and the only thing she came up with was a grave….
February 10th, 2007 at 12:45 PMUsing
Hey, at least she didn’t commit treason.
February 10th, 2007 at 2:46 PMUsing
Hey, she is dead. There is no reason to compare her to john kerry. Have a little respect.
February 10th, 2007 at 3:53 PMUsing
All the cleavage, all the preening, fawning, pouty looks ain’t gonna help her now. Her own life will smack her right in the face. It is a shame how she lived. No man in his right mind would want his daughter to emulate her.
How much of a role model was she for other vapid, senseless young women?
If that drooling, demented old fool had thought to keep his shriveled manhood in his pants for just two year before he died this wouldn’t be a story.
February 10th, 2007 at 4:24 PMUsing
After Reading about Rick Rescola on another site, I got really annoyed at how much attention she is getting, because he deserved it. To give it to him go to http://www.PetionOnline.com/pmfrick :innocent1_tb:
February 11th, 2007 at 7:59 PMUsing
Sorry should be http://www.PetitionOnline.com/pmfrick :doh_tb:(anyone know a good typing teacher?
February 11th, 2007 at 8:02 PMUsing
Evidently, Anna’s passing was just too much for some to bear. Somebody out in Oakland is selling his 1962 Anna Nicole Smith Chevy Impala. It’ll probably fetch a fair amount as it’s the highly sought after gangsta’ version. It looks to be the kind of elegant ride anybody would be proud to drive around on a daily basis.
February 13th, 2007 at 12:38 AMUsing