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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Memo From Southern Command Post
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TO: Empire, All Regions

FROM: Ambassador JackBoot

RE: Occupation of territories previously, known as the greater Tampa Bay area.

Mission successful. Infiltration has been completed successfully. Approximately 15 Loyal Citizens are in attendance, with number varying continually as my census does not include the recently comatose.

Plan Rott-Fest, Sub-plan C has been met with great success. Economic attacks on the local libation dealers has resulted in a localized spike in retail prices. Expect our market positions in Anheuser-Busch, Captain Morgan, and related stocks to spike at open of the market Monday 2/19.

Provisions supply logistics remain difficult, however we ARE attacking on all fronts. Casualties are light and forensic evidence has been purged.

Weapons/Ammo stores are adequate and the compound is secure.

We’re hoisting one (or more actually) to all that can’t be here, really…we promise…..

All is well, cheers to the rest of the Empire !!!!!!

JB/BC sends…

NO CARRIER !@##^TWR%$&^&^**$$*(&(($$(

[Update: 2110 ET…LC and IB (yeah he’s been hiding it from us) GuyK provides a preview of the 2007 additions to the DVD O’ Doom™ HERE. Guy graced the Denizens hereabouts with a steaming pot o’ Shrimp Gumbo, that would have been met with critical acclaim, however the belches and burps following consumption interfered with more verbose reviews. Thanks Brother !!!!–JB]

35 Responses to “Memo From Southern Command Post”
  1. LC Guido Cabrone Comment by LC Guido Cabrone

    NO CARRIER !@##^TWR%$&^&^**$$*(&(($$(

    Now we know they’re toasted. That shoulda been:

    !@##^TWR%$&^&^**$$*(&(($$(

    NO CARRIER

    And from the “We’re from the Government and we’re here to help you!” files…

    What! The! FUCK?!?!?

    BTW… (FirsT)!

  2. LC Guido Cabrone Comment by LC Guido Cabrone

    I hope this closes the link. Or it does it on it’s own…

  3. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

    JB and Crunchie are out securing badly needed supplies. Mope is still standing (an incredible feat of alcohol resistance), Radical Redneck is holding court in the hot tub, BC is singing his ass off (the man has an excellent voice, no, really) Cheapshot is running interference with the local libtards, and I’m enjoying this weekend more than should be legal. Blackmail pics to follow.

  4. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    That’s scary, Guido…very scary. And would, if it spread, end in all out civil war…..

  5. Unregistered Comment by Infidel River Rat

    SHIT!! I had to use up my floater holidays at work to go take care of my divorce, otherwise, I’d be participating in the drunken debauchery myself!! When’s the next Rottfest?

  6. LC Guido Cabrone Comment by LC Guido Cabrone

    When’s the next Rottfest?

    Mutters have been made by Spats about later in the spring… Texas direction, ya know.

    Just gonna have to see what happens…

  7. Unregistered Comment by LC Xealot

    Guns guns and more guns. :).

  8. Dick Comment by Dick

    I’ll drink a toast to you drunk fuckers.
    If you’re not drunk by now, that’s your own damn fault.

  9. LC Mrs. M Comment by LC Mrs. M

    Gadzooks! What a motley looking group of degenerates! I assume that the owners made sure to get a goodly deposit for having the place fumigated once they have vacated the premises?? :smoke_tb: :drunk_tb:

  10. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

    Gadzooks! What a motley looking group of degenerates!

    You don’t know the half of it! :twisted_wp:

  11. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    and to think I was going to crash that party…

  12. Empress Sofia Comment by Empress Sofia

    Heh! The Emperor and I, among other, were allowed to crash the party via video and audio on saturday! We had a blast, altho obviously not NEARLY as much fun as if we had REALLLY been there. But, we are grateful to have been fortunate enough to be able to be a part of the fun! Maybe we can accomplish something similar in Texas this year as well!

  13. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

    #9 LC Mrs. M- sezs:

    Gadzooks! What a motley looking group of degenerates!

    Well…the pictures were airbrushed quite a bit and we tried to be as presentable as possible.

    But….I must say degenerate is an understatement. Should a drooling leftard had somehow infiltrated this place around 2:00 am this morning (2/18), visions of Dante would have come to it’s mind. After all, ’bout that time we were doing fine justice to Toby “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue.

    The firearm cache alone would have induced immediate grand-mal seizures, incontinence and aphasia. Not that the poor little critter would have suffered very long. It would have missed Mrs. Cheapshot quietly over in the corner easy-chair with the her seat mate, a-.45 cal Chicago Typewriter replete with the drum magazine.

    Poor critter, it would be the humane thing to do, right?

  14. jaybear Comment by jaybear

    Jackboot sez:

    It would have missed Mrs. Cheapshot quietly over in the corner easy-chair with the her seat mate, a-.45 cal Chicago Typewriter replete with the drum magazine.

    I want a Chicago Typewriter, been looking for one for years…preferable WW2 vintage…before the assault weapons laws mandated the longer barrel. It would compliment my M1 Garand quite nicely.

    soooo…do any of you hard cases need an emergency shipment of ice packs or Excedrin?

  15. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Got Class III, Jaybear?

  16. jaybear Comment by jaybear

    The Emperor sez:

    Got Class III, Jaybear?

    Oh come on Sir, are you gonna go rules and regulations on me?

    I’m mainly a collector, having taken possession of all my Dad’s legacy guns on his passing 2 years ago. Sure, I’d LOVE to have a Thompson, I’ve had the pleasure of firing one about 25 years ago and it still ranks as one of the best moments of my life. I’d also LOVE to take it out to push rounds through it, but it would mostly be something to round out my growing (but miniscule) collection of World War II weapons and acoutrements.

    All that said, I wouldn’t mind having a Class III…just in case I found the time to get really serious about this firearms stuff. Hell, I still need to get my C & C.

  17. LC Mrs. M Comment by LC Mrs. M

    Hell, I still need to get my C & C.

    Come on Jaybear!!! Even I’VE already jumped through the hoops and barked for the biscuits for that crown jewel.

    Chop chop Bud!! Get off your arse and Gitter done!!!

  18. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

    Ah, the serenity of the company of 50 completely loyal frenz, and some mighty fine people too.

  19. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    A fantastic suare if ever there was one. My compliments to BC and Jackboot for securing such an incredible mansion for the weekend.

    I was there for one hour and BC had grabbed my ass 4 times. That was an omen of things to come I tell ya. Mopes drinking ability absolutely amazed me. Bangie Thang and I rolled out of the rack at 1130 on Saturday morning and Mope was already on his 5th beer! Of course he did go comatose around 1200, buy hey the guy had the right spirit!

    Cheapshot’s photoshop skills are very impressive as I’m sure all will see when the Emperor decides the timing is right.

    I can now say that I have been to BC’s Imperial Game Room for real as I and all the LC’s were tortured by his Karaoke versions of Whitney Houston (admittedly I did join in on a special group performance for the Empress, once my blood alcohol level reached near fatal levels, although I have no freaking idea what song we sang).

    And the gun pr0n, oh the gun pr0n!

    Some quotes from the debauchery

    “BC stop grabbing my ass!”
    “Damnit Mope, you drank my beer!”
    “Put that thing away.”
    “Thats just plain wrong!”
    “Left that door wide open for ya didn’t I BC” (said multiple, multiple times)
    “Nipple clip”
    “I love Shane” (Ha, beat ya to it BC!)
    “Take it off” followed immediately by “Put it back on”.

    More to follow I’m sure.

    BC, Jackboot, Ten-Ten, Mope, Radical Redneck, Cheapshot, Serena, Beth, Delfts, Guy K, Xealot, all are great people whom I’m glad to call friends and both Bangie and I had a fantastic time. Can’t wait until the next one!

  20. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    P.S. I learned that I can not IM while drunk! My sincere apologies to Misha, the Empress, Darth Bacon and anybody else who had to try and decipher my drunk chicken scratch. Although you did see me pounding the beers on the webcam so you know I had a valid excuse!

  21. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

    Guys, please tell me that this rented mansion is still standing? And still habitable?

    Hopefully, no one will have to call the Health Dept come Tuesday?

    Crunchie, hugs and prayers to Jr. (Meant to tell you that when you posted about his going into the Marines and then to Iraq) Please keep us updated.

  22. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Lady H

    Most of it is still standing. All of it is habitable, if your an alcoholic cockroach. :devil_tb:

    I will most definitely pass on your well wishes to Jr. He ships out for Parris Island June 25th. Thank You for the kind words, and I will definitely keep you updated.

  23. Deathknyte Comment by Deathknyte

    So who went?

  24. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

    And no animals were harmed this weekend? (*snicker*)

  25. LC HOGHEAD Comment by LC HOGHEAD

    WHAT? NO PICTURES????

  26. BC, Imperial Torturer Comment by BC, Imperial Torturer

    And no animals were harmed this weekend?

    Only ones that were eaten. Let us count the carnage… Cows, pigs, chickens, shrimp…. And there are quite a few stone crabs skittering about on the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico ‘sans claw‘. (For those of you who don’t know, stone crabs are caught, one claw is broken off and the crab released back into the water to regenerate that claw.)

    Did I leave out any wildlife who parted this Earthly vale? (Besides those feral Libruls who happened to be unfortunate enough to stumble in the door during Mope’s rendition of “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” on Saturday night. They had to be humanely put down to end their suffering. Those extra 50 taps were just to make sure that their suffering was, indeed, permanently over. Poor bastards.)

    Post-incident report will be posted sometime in the near future.

    :drunk_tb:

  27. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Hoghead

    WHAT? NO PICTURES????

    :lol_wp: :lol_tb:

    Most definitely there are pictures. I believe most (well definitely one in particular :twisted_wp:) are being held in the Emperors vault to be shown at the most fortuitous time (IE, when blackmail and/or flogging is in order).

    There will be more benign pics to come I’m sure. BC and Jackboot need to recover first. :sick_ee:

  28. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

    Damn Crunchie!

    Cheapshot’s photoshop skills are very impressive as I’m sure all will see when the Emperor decides the timing is right.

    I’m so totaly outed! I thought I was in the Rottweiler Perpetrator-Protection area of the General Operation Code.,,,, aww, wait,, I just read the sub-section under it,,”Not applicable if member is victim..” Dang, fineprint.

    Ok,BC,, I did it,, don’t whack anyone else,,

    Umm, do I get to choose “Head or Gut”?

  29. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Now Cheapshot ya just gave yerself away man! All I said was yer skills were impressive, I didn’t say what exactly demonstrated this.

    Besides, BC is a level headed fair man who appreciates a thing of beauty even if he is the target… :lol_wp: Damn I almost got that out with a straight face!

    Yep, yer pretty much screwed Cheapshot! Nice knowing ya man, tell yer soon to be widow I’m sorry.

  30. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

    (Echoing headslap!)

  31. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

    BC is a level headed fair man who appreciates

    ….All the stuff I do.
    ‘Didn’t take long to figure that if treated otherwise, he’d feel left out!

    To anyone who hasn’t met BC: His character is thicker than a redwood.

    ,,and *KLINK*

  32. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    To anyone who hasn’t met BC: His character is thicker than a redwood.

    To bad other certain body parts don’t follow suit. Except for his gut, that does resemble a redwood, in thickness if not in strength. :tongue_laugh_ee:

  33. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

    I can honestly say that I would rather spend a weekend with everyone that was there, than with the finest people in the world. :mrgreen_wp: This was the first time I’d met anyone from the Rott, and by the end of the weekend, it was as though I’d known them all for years. Quality through and through. And did anyone mention the firearms cache? :guns_tb: Can’t wait for next year. Thanks to all for such a great welcome and an awesome time.

  34. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

    Yeah, nice to fondle some of the sweetest, wildest, NEWEST pieces of bang-tech’, but,,, not lettin’ anything fly is kinda like takin’ a cold shower right after foreplay..
    We’ll fix that next time.
    ‘Gotta plan.

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