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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Aliens To Solve Global Warming
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UFO Science Key To Halting Climate Change: Former Canadian Defense Minister

A former Canadian defense minister is demanding governments worldwide disclose and use secret alien technologies obtained in alleged UFO crashes to stem climate change, a local paper said Wednesday.

He’s demanding, I tell you. Obviously he wasn’t able to get in on the IPO for Indulgences Inc. That’s going to have a pretty dramatic effect on their quarterly earnings isn’t it? He does have a point though, the one that crashed in my yard had reams of documents, when translated with my Imperial Universal Translator™ made a pretty decent batch of hot wings. Maybe the natural biological by-product of that was the sekret technology.

“I would like to see what (alien) technology there might be that could eliminate the burning of fossil fuels within a generation … that could be a way to save our planet,” Paul Hellyer, 83, told the Ottawa Citizen.

If we had the technology tomorrow, it would take a generation to complete the permits to build a base-load generating plant using a new technology. Let alone another generation (or two) of litigation to get a building permit. As a former player in the nuclear electric generation business, I speak with some authority on the night-marish process currently existing with the environmental whackos and technology development/usage.

Alien spacecrafts would have traveled vast distances to reach Earth, and so must be equipped with advanced propulsion systems or used exceptional fuels, he told the newspaper.

Such alien technologies could offer humanity alternatives to fossil fuels, he said, pointing to the enigmatic 1947 incident in Roswell, New Mexico — which has become a shrine for UFO believers — as an example of alien contact.

Roswell….again….. :wallbash_tb:

“We need to persuade governments to come clean on what they know. Some of us suspect they know quite a lot, and it might be enough to save our planet if applied quickly enough,” he said.

Unfortunately, “those” that know a lot have been abducted and are under interrogation treatment at a mental health facility near you.

Hellyer became defense minister in former prime minister Lester Pearson’s cabinet in 1963, and oversaw the controversial integration and unification of Canada’s army, air force and navy into the Canadian Forces.

And what an integration it was….the results were transmogrifying the Canadian Forces into a fighting unit with roughly the same offensive power as a Campfire Girl meeting. That said, their military today is doing a fine job playing whack-a-hajj in the WoT, in spite of it all.

He shocked Canadians in September 2005 by announcing he once saw a UFO.

Shortly after joining the “Octogenarian Canadian UFO Alternative Energy Society”.

ohhhh… Governor Joe D- How is your budget looking for psychiatric treatment? I just found you a new patient.

25 Responses to “Aliens To Solve Global Warming”
  1. Unregistered Comment by Cheryl

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    Uh, Mr. Hellyer is 83 after all. Maybe we should cut him a little slack. Some of us are, ahem, getting up there ourselves.

    The first time I read about Mr. Hellyer and his “little friends” in CFP I thought it was a satire. Then I realized that it was for real. Nothing should surprise me anymore. :blink_tb: :shock_ee: Time for another glass of vino. Sometimes that’s all you can do! Cheers! :drunk_tb:

  2. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

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    Cheryl no doubt at all on his age as a possible factor.

    Just my Sith sense of humor that the AFP finds it newsworthy at all. But after all, as it fits into the Global Wormification, We-All-Gonna-Die template, draws them into the ramblings of someone possibly questionable in his thought processes.

    I’m not all that far behind him unfortunately.

    :down_tb:

  3. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper

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    “I would like to see what (alien) technology there might be that could eliminate the burning of fossil fuels within a generation … that could be a way to save our planet,” Paul Hellyer, 83, told the Ottawa Citizen.

    SCREW THAT NOISE! If there is alien tech somewhere on this planet, I want it used to develop and field several divisions of Spider Tanks!

  4. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

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    Looks kinda like a toilet, Gunsniper. Interesting possibilities, though. :lol_tb:

  5. juandos Comment by juandos

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    I wonder if Paul Hellyer and the aliens decided to take a different route?
    ‘The Great Global Warming Swindle’ - backed by eminent scientists - is set to rock the accepted consensus that climate change is being driven by humans.

  6. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

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    #5 Juandos-

    Nice link there, be interesting to see how many threats and soiled diapers they’ll get from that broadcast. I assume it’s the Beeb, since the article only indicates Channel 4. Maybe we can get lucky and someone will obtain a copy of that.

    *Get your popcorn and brewski*

  7. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    “We need to persuade governments to come clean on what they know. Some of us suspect they know quite a lot, and it might be enough to save our planet if applied quickly enough,” he said.

    Riiiggghhhttt…..and Elvis isn’t really dead, he just went home. :doh_tb: :wacko_tb: :undecided_tb:

  8. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

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    #7 Mrs. ITT-

    and Elvis isn’t really dead, he just went home

    He took up residence in my shed. You have any idea what the fried banana and peanut butter sandwich bill is running us? But Rocky enjoys his “Hound Dog” concerts.

  9. maxxdog Comment by maxxdog

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    Sounds like the old guy is firing his bong at maximum capacity.

  10. hitnrun Comment by hitnrun

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    A former Canadian defense minister is demanding governments worldwide disclose and use secret alien technologies obtained in alleged UFO crashes to stem climate change, a local paper said Wednesday.

    Finally, a request from an America-hating socialist enviromentalist liberal that all Americans can agree must be honored.

    The United States will immediately turn over all the secret alien technology that we have.

    Man, the ’60s had nothing on the ’90s.

  11. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    Aliens To Solve Global Warming

    Ya know, JB, somehow that headline just says it all. I don’t even HAVE to read to know there is some serious moonbattery and asshattery coming. :lol_tb:

  12. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    . . . and I just know you wouldn’t disappoint!

    Besides, everybody knows the real crash wasn’t in Rosswell - it was in the South Pacific. You don’t really think that was all BOMBS back in the ’50’s, do ya?

  13. Unregistered Comment by Infidel River Rat

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    Just further evidence that you NEVER hold your farts in, because they travel up your spine, into your head, and that’s where shitty ideas come from! :lol_tb: :lol_wp: He’s either been holding his farts in for a long time, OR he’s been packing his water pipe too tight! :mrgreen_wp:

  14. juandos Comment by juandos

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    Infidel River Rat (#13) says:

    Just further evidence that you NEVER hold your farts in, because they travel up your spine, into your head, and that’s where shitty ideas come from!

    Well damn IRR, ole Paul Hellyer should’ve invested in this little device so those crappy ideas wouldn’t have formed and fermented… :lol_tb:

  15. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    I wonder if we could make a bedsheet out of that Little Device,,
    Maybe murtha would dissappear overnight.

  16. Unregistered Comment by Roger Glass

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    As Official Flying Saucer Nut of the Empire, I acknowledge that Hellyer is one of many many many many reasons why it’s so embarrassing to be a flying saucer nut. And by the way, Roswell indeed was just a balloon. And so forth and so on, world without end. Nevertheless, there are many many many instances of professional pilots and air crews - military and commercial - coming nose to nose with flying saucers, with ground radar confirmation. There are even good photos - like the one that Stanford physicist Dr. Peter Sturrock analyzed so extensively in his book. Speaking of which, there are real scientists who are flying saucer nuts. Hermann Oberth was a flying saucer nut.

    There’s no point looking into the subject. All you’re going to find out is that ETs probably are here. You’re not going to find out anything you really want to know - where are they from, what are they like, why are they here, how did they get here (in flying saucers of course, but how do they work?), and so forth.

    And for heaven’s sake, don’t go to flying saucer conventions!

    No. I’ve never seen a flying saucer. I’ve never even found a four leaf clover.

  17. ACLPoo Comment by ACLPoo

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    The explaination for this man’s ramblings can be explained by his title:

    “Canadian Defense Minister”

    We can leave the “former” out of his title, since that’s a moot point.
    Face it, people, the man’s got, and never has had, anything to do.
    It should be changed to

    “Minister in charge of thanking the US for defending Canada since 1946″.

    Hey, if you all are looking for the terrorists, they’re all living ‘legally’ in Montreal and Toronto. Please don’t bomb my home town (Toronto)…although if you promise to hit the mayor and miss my sister, go for it.

  18. Unregistered Comment by Roger Glass

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    You all probably don’t remember the O’Hare Airport incident that came out in January?

    http://www.projo.com/opinion/contributors/content/CT_kean25_02-25-07_KI4G47E.4f3aef6.html

    Okay, I’ll stop now. My tin foil helmet is starting to chafe.

  19. LC Guido Cabrone Comment by LC Guido Cabrone

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    Please don’t bomb my home town (Toronto)…although if you promise to hit the mayor and miss my sister, go for it.

    What if we promise to get her out of a town a few hours before the bombs hit? And superglue the mayor to the aiming point, of course!

  20. Alan K. Henderson Comment by Alan K. Henderson

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    Aliens solve global warming? Have you seen what they did to Tattooine???

  21. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

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    Aliens solve global warming? Have you seen what they did to Tattooine???

    (glares over at Merlin)

    MERLIN:  Can I help it if they were complaining it was too muggy?

  22. Unregistered Comment by seagoon

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    ACLpoo,

    Since the end of WWII Canada has tried several times to become independent in defense, through homegrown R&D, but American pressure has preempted it.

    (Avro Arrow, DH FHE400 subchaser to name just two)

    We’ve also had large fleets and decent armies for our population, but that was frittered away throughout the past 60 years, along with our Arctic sovereignty.

    So, Canadian minister in charge of bending over to the powers to the south might be a better title.

    I’m not going to say the dependency is a good thing, nor that the policy of neutering Canada’s military to leave us as hewers of wood and drawers of water was a good one, for either side of the border.

    All I’m saying is that Canadian troops and the Canadian have stood proud with the best of the world on many occasions, and will inevitably do so again, despite the best efforts of government north and south. Right Joe?

    If there is a problem now, it is because of the short-sighted politicians in Ottawa giving our military autonomy away, and the short sighted politicians in Washington who asked for it.

    It is always better to have a strong brother in arms to fight beside you than a dependent to protect.

    Still, you’re Torontonian, so perhaps your lack of knowledge of the history is excusable.

  23. juandos Comment by juandos

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    Maybe Paul Hellyer should talk to the SUPREME GORON about the amount if kilowatts the clown is burning up…

    Mark Steyn is incredulous: “Two hundred twenty-one thousand kilowatt-hours? What’s he doing in there? Clamping Tipper to the electrodes and zapping her across the rec room every night?“… :lol_tb:

  24. Unregistered Comment by ClimbingFreeman

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    Did he ever consider we’re keeping alien technology under wraps because IT’S FREAKING DANGEROUS? Sure, that anti-matter warp drive may be eco-friendly, until the force-field retaining the matter/anti-matter explosion looses cohesion and the resulting explosion kills the planet. Or did he ever stop to consider that maybe there was no useful alien technology, other than the polyester we got from the aliens’ suits? Or did he ever consider that maybe there’s no aliens, and that the bulk of “UFO sightings” since the end of WW2 was really man-made stuff from a company called “Hoaxcraft Aeronautics”, sponsored by the government to reverse-engineer the Nazi experimental air force program we recovered after the fall of the Reich? Or did he ever consider the entire UFO phenomenon to be a false-flag ruse used by all governments to psychologically mass-test its citizens for psychological problems?

    Nope, he automatically assumed -like the fools who stood on buildings to welcome the aliens in Independence Day- that all aliens are kind and gentle and just want to help us. Right.

  25. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    Nope, he automatically assumed -like the fools who stood on buildings to welcome the aliens in Independence Day- that all aliens are kind and gentle and just want to help us. Right.

    Why not? That’s what they think Muslims are.