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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Let’s Recycle a Plot Point, Shall We?
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And thus we come to yet another installment in the endless recaps of “24″ for which this site and the Empire have become truly infamous.

While President Allstate Jr is being wheeled away on a gurney to receive the best medical treatment that political privilege and your money can buy, President Weasel from last season and Jack are going to the Russian consulate. Jack points out to Weasel that, no matter what, he’ll never forgive him for what he’s done, particularly turning the Allstate Family into martyrs and thus assuring that the dumbest twig on the family tree, Allstate Jr, won the Presidency.

“I haven’t been outside these gates in over a year”, Weasel says as they leave the mansion “arrest.”

“Just what you deserve, you weaselly murderer”, Jack answers.

“No, it’s not that, it’s that the compound is so frigging huge that I rarely ever have the time to walk all the way out here, and the golf buggy just doesn’t have the range.”

“You know, Jack, I know what it’s like to be locked away from the world, all alone except for a few dozen PlayMates and a Secret Service detail, a wait-staff of about fifty and the occasional traveling entertainment troupe. It’s hard, I tell you…”

Just as Jack is about to give Weasel a demonstration of the kind of loneliness and deprivation you find in a Chinese Gulag, Bill Buchanan calls and saves Weasel from a fate far better than he deserves.

“There’s been an assassination attempt on President Allstate, Jack”, Bill starts, “the Secret Service thinks it was Assad.”

“What???”

“Well, he IS a known terrorist and he WAS in the room with the President when the bomb went off.”

“But Islam is the Religion of PEACE!”, Jack protests, “Assad was helping us, calling off 1,400 years of jihad and telling all of his followers that it was all a practical joke thought up by Muhammed on a lazy afternoon in the desert!”

“Just what exactly did they do to your head in China, Jack?”

“Nothing, really, but I HAVE been hanging around with the show’s writers and CAIR a lot lately.”

“I see”, Bill says and hangs up, shaking his head.

Back at the bunker, the medical staff has finally managed to locate the machine that goes *PING!* and are busy saving Allstate Jr’s life. Meanwhile, Vice President Evil Neocon is getting a status briefing via tele-conference.

“So how bad is it?”

“Well, the President didn’t suffer any head wounds…”

“Damn, I mean, that’s wonderful news, isn’t it?”

“No, Mr Vice President, it actually isn’t, seeing as how that’s the only part of his body that could suffer critical damage without anybody noticing the difference, but he’s still out of danger. Hurt, but out of immediate danger.”

“Any idea as to when he can resume his duties?”, VP Evil Neocon asks, hoping for the answer “never.”

“Well, he WAS caught in the middle of an explosion, so the fact that he’s alive at all is a…”

“Miracle!”

“Well, not really. It’s called silly writing. At any rate, the screen writers assure us that he won’t be up and about for the rest of the season, so you’re free to go ahead with your Obvious and Evil Neocon Fascist Plans™.”

After an obligatory two-second pause during which Vice President Neocon pretends to be overwhelmed with his newfound authority and the dreadful implications thereof, he tells the staff in the bunker to get his best set of jackboots ready for him when he lands, and that he wants a full debrief from Spineless Toad when he gets there.

The SecDef asks Reed about Spineless Toad’s whereabouts and Reed, once again, pretends to not know where he is. The SecDef instructs the Secret Service to find him ASAP, and Reed gets very busy all of a sudden, running back to the boiler room to tell Bomb Dude about the recent development.

Bomd Dude once again tells Reed that he wants to kill Spineless Toad, making it look like a suicide. Under the circumstances, that would seem to be a quite brilliant idea, but Reed is having none of it. Assassinating the President of the United States in one thing, but killing his chief of staff to keep everything under wraps… No, that’s just too gruesome. He won’t allow it.

“Don’t touch him!”, Reed says, placing himself between Bomb Dude and Spineless Toad.

“Or what?”, Bomb Dude asks.

“Or you’ll have to kill me too!”

Instead of saying “as you wish” and snapping Reed’s neck, which is what anybody NOT wanting to be executed for high treason would do, Bomb Dude decides that maybe hanging isn’t quite as horrible as killing somebody. Well, as long as “somebody” isn’t the President, that is, in which case all bets are off. So he walks off, leaving Reed to free Spineless Toad. Somewhere in the United States, the grave containing the last rotting shreds of our disbelief is dug up in order to make room for a parking lot.

Reed walks over to Spineless Toad who’s been overhearing the entire conversation and rips the duct tape off of his mouth.

“Listen, the deed is done, so you might as well play along now.”

“Sure”, Spineless Toad answers, obviously with the fact in mind that if he says “no”, Bomb Dude is going to whack him.

“See?”, Reed says to Bomb Dude, “I told you we could trust him. I’ll just cut him loose now.”

Bomb Dude, still as dumb as a stack of wet bricks, buys it and tells Reed to be quick about it, because the Secret Service is walking down the hall.

The unlikely trio walk into the hallway to meet the Secret Service, and Spineless Toad immediately turns Reed and Bomb Dude in.

“Damn! I didn’t see THAT one coming!”, Bomb Dude exclaims.

Vice President Neocon lands and immediately calls Buchanan, wanting to know what the Hell is up with President Weasel being given an afternoon pass. Considering that the day, so far, has seen a nuclear attack on the United States with absolutely no response from the Commander-in-Chief other than to turn over the day-to-day running of the country to his sister and a known international terrorist, we have to say that letting a mass-murdering ex-President out for a walk to hunt down a terrorist at large is the LEAST idiotically weird thing that has happened, but hey…

Bill explains it to VP Neocon, who isn’t too pleased, wanting to know if President Weasel is being supervised at all, a fair question considering how fantastically inept CTU has been in the past seasons. Not that being told that Jack Bauer is in charge of the supervision seems to allay his fears any, for the very same reasons we suppose.

Jack and Weasel arrive at the consulate, where Weasel promptly convinces Jack that he has to see the consul alone, or there’s no way he’ll tell him anything. So much for that “short leash” and “supervision.”

They walk inside, and President Weasel goes to see the consul, Markov.

After the usual platitudes, Markov asks Weasel how he can help him, and Weasel explains to him that he needs to know where Gredenko is.

“What Gredenko? I know not this Gredenko of which you speak!”, Markov protests.

“Not apart from being old war buddies from Afghanistan, him being best man at your wedding and the little fact that the three of us worked together on last season’s plot. I know.”

“Ahhhh! THAT Gredenko! Hahahaha… Sorry, my friend. I have not seen him for years.”

“And I’m Queen Elizabeth the II, Anatoly. Unfortunately, Queen Elizabeth has all of the tapes of our conversations regarding the Sentox nerve gas from last season too, and she also has President Suvarov’s mailing address. Now, if President Suvarov were to suddenly find out that you were behind the plot that almost got him killed too, the consequences could be… Tragic…”

“But… You PROMISED! Cross your heart and hope to die and everything!”

“Gee… I must have forgotten. Anyway, Queen Liz has to go to the post office now. Sorry you couldn’t be of any help.”

“Hah! You do your worst! I don’t know where Gredenko is, and that’s the end of it!”

Obviously Markov doesn’t much mind Siberia this time of year or any other time of year.

“OK. I believe you, Anatoly”, President Weasel lies and makes his goodbyes.

As Jack and Weasel leave the building, Weasel tells Jack that Markov is full of it, which is proven by Markov running to the nearest phone, calling Gredenko who is still in the desert, trying to decipher the user manual for his new remote-controlled airplanes. And, as anybody who has ever tried to make sense of a manual translated into English from Japanese will know, that’s no small task. ‘Please to not stand humidifier on top of motion enhance device’, he mumbles, “WHAT IN THE NAME OF STALIN’S HEMORRHOIDS IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?’

“Hey, boss, I manage to set the clock on this one!”, one of his henchmen shouts triumphantly. “Unfortunately, it will only display Tokyo time.”

“What is it?”, he snaps into the phone as he answers it.

“The Imperialist Capitalist Running Pig Dog Lackeys are on to us!”, Markov says.

“No they’re not, they can’t be.”, Gredenko protests.

“Er, boss… It’s only two episodes ago that you told me, back in the safehouse, that they were on to us, remember?”, one of his henchmen offers helpfully.

“Oh, I guess I did. Oops. Er, OK then… Damn… But that means that it’s all for nothing! We were supposed to blame it all on the innocent Arabs who are, as we all know, a Religion of Peace!”

“What gave you that idea?”

“This letter that FOX got from CAIR’s lawyers the other day.”

“It doesn’t matter, Dmitri, by the time they find out who’s really behind it, it’ll be too late”, Markov says, trying to calm him down.

“So if it doesn’t matter, then why the hell are you calling me in the first place?”, Gredenko asks.

“Er… It’s in the script. Besides, the MoveOn.org writers noticed that we’d gone over 30 minutes without making it clear to the show’s audience that the Arabs have nothing, NOTHING to do with all of this nuclear nonsense.”

In the limo with Jack and Weasel, Jack is telling the driver to pull over as soon as they’re out of sight of the consulate.

“What are you going to do, Jack?”, Weasel asks.

“Oh, I don’t know. It’s just that this whole material witness inside of consulate situation gave me an idea. Almost as if I suddenly remembered an old plot device that I suddenly felt a powerful urge to recycle, due to the writers having been out partying for three days straight before they sat down to write this episode.”

“Damn, Jack. That’s crazy!”

“Heh. What’s the worst that can happen? That I find myself knocked on the head at the end of this season and wake up on a slow boat to Russia? Hey. That’s weird. It’s almost as if all of this has already happened before!”

He calls Chloe and tells her to turn off the power to the Russian consulate for 60 seconds. He tells her that if anybody asks, to tell them that it was due to Barbra Streisand turning on her new BFD9000X vibrators while it was still hooked into the power grid.

Elsewhere, Bill’s wife, Frau Blucher, is still stuck at the airport. It turned out that Nancy Pelosi wanted to go skiing with her family and 5,000 closest friends, so the entire Air Force transport fleet is now stuck at an airbase near Aspen, CO. Also, of course, the writers realized that it would be damn inconvenient to have to transport her back from L.A. once VP Neocon took over after President Allstate Jr. They need her to hang around the bunker screaming about Habeas Corpus every five minutes or so, after all.

Bill calls her and updates her on the Exploding Podium Incident back in the bunker, and she of course immediately decides to go withdraw her resignation. There are Evil Neocons to pester and terrorists’ feewings to be protected, after all. Why she’s thinking that will be any easier with Vice President Evil Neocon running the show and Spineless Toad still around is anybody’s guess, but we never claimed that there was any actual logic to this show, did we?

At the bunker, Vice President Neocon is getting ready to enact his Evil Oppressive Plan to put up concentration camps all over the country and fill them up with innocents, but his aide, Blondie, is trying to caution against it. Are the writers operating under some contractual obligation saying that every executive on the show HAS to have a personal advisor who is against every single thing they want to do? Apparently so.

Vice President Neocon, however, is having none of it.

Spineless Toad is, meanwhile, busy being interrogated.

“So, you’re saying that you knew about this plot, yet you waited for hours to tell anybody?”, the interrogator asks.

“Well, er, yes. I had to gather evidence, after all.”

“So, while you were busy not telling anybody about this plot to kill the President and handing over the President’s personal itinerary to the assassins, you were only gathering evidence, right? You were determined to turn them in all along, is that right?”

“Yes! What are you getting at?”

“Oh nothing, nothing at all, Mr Lennox, it’s just that some people might think that you were in on it, then all of a sudden had second thoughts. But hey, that’s just speculation, now isn’t it?”

“Excuse me?”

“No, no, Mr Lennox, it’s OK. I mean, it’s not like you could have handed them a fake itinerary or, say, let somebody know what was going on while you were, er, ‘gathering evidence’, now is it?”

Vice President Neocon enters and asks to speak to Spineless Toad alone.

“Listen, Mr Vice President, I’m innocent. I tried to stop them!”, Spineless Toad wails.

“We’ll see about that, won’t we Tom? Eventually, we’ll find out what you and Assad had to do with all of this…”

“Assad? He’s INNOCENT. They were trying to set him up! Religion of Peace! Kumbayah! I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony!”, Spineless Toad who obviously suffered severe trauma to the head when he was knocked out earlier shouts.

“And you know this how, exactly?”

“Er, I don’t. But he was innocent. I just know it.”

“I’d ask him, but he’s somewhat dead at the moment and can’t be reached for comment.”

“It’s absurd! It makes no sense whatsoever!”

“Hmmm… I suppose so. I mean, it’s completely inconceivable that a well-known terrorist mastermind would decide to martyr himself and take out the Commander-in-Chief of the United States, isn’t it? I mean, what would he do THAT for?”

“Don’t you see that that’s EXACTLY what they wanted it to look like and…”, Spineless Toad starts out, then stops.

“And what?”

Ibrahim Hooper runs on to the set and hands Spineless Toad the rest of the script he’s been writing for him.

“…and they’re setting up the Peaceful Religion of Islam and, and, Death to America! Er, can we edit that out? Anyway, I see what you’re up to, Mr Vice President. You’re trying to scapegoat Assad so you can go ahead with your plan to aggressively defend the country by profiling people and investigating Muslim communities and…”

“The plan you authored, Tom, I might add.”

“Er, well… Yes. But… But I’m a new man, I want to teach the world to sing in per…”

“Oh shut up. You already used that line. Now would you kindly get on board with your own plan…”

“But, Sir…”

“And I’ll clear you of the charges against you.”

“Oh…”

Back at the Russian consulate, Jack is busy getting in through the back door. He’s almost caught by a guard, but thanks to Jack’s fluent and accent-free Russian that he picked up in night school, he manages to convince the guard that everything is fine. As Chloe shuts off the power, Jack enters and rushes to Markov’s room, sticking a gun in his face. As the power comes back on, Markov manages to press the panic button for a second before Jack can make him step away from the desk and sit down.

While Markov is busy giving Jack a lecture on international law and the sovereignty of consulates, the guards assemble outside the room and knock on the door, asking if everything’s OK in there. Jack pistol whips Markov because he can, then tells the guards that if they try to enter, he’ll shoot his head off too, and the guards decide to hang around and enjoy the show for a while, while they alert Moscow to the situation.

Jack calls Buchanan.

“Er, we have a bit of a situation here, Bill.”

“What is it, Jack?”

“Er, it’s like this. Markov wouldn’t talk to Weasel, so I decided to go ask him myself. Anyway, now I’m sort of stuck inside Markov’s office at the consulate. A bit.”

“Not again, Jack. What IS it with you and consulates anyway?”

“I don’t know. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyway, if you’d please tell the White House so they don’t get too surprised when President Suvarov calls, I’ll go back to talking to Markov. As soon as I can find a hacksaw, that is.”

At the Bunker, Vice President Neocon is informed by his aide, Blondie, that Frau Blucher is on her way back to the White House, something about her having suddenly decided that she didn’t really need to “spend time with her husband” anyway.

“That would be the howling harridan who was against every single measure that might conceivably help defend ourselves in the face of a nuclear, terrorist threat, right?”

“Yes, Mr Vice President.”

“Wonderful. She’ll need an office, so could you please go clear out one of the janitors’ closets?”

Bill calls and tells Vice President Neocon about the situation at the Russian consulate.

“Wonderful, Bill. Tell you what, would it be too much to ask of you to tell your man Bauer that, should he get an urge to invade Poland as well, to please let me know BEFOREHAND? Anyway, I have to go talk to Suvarov now, he’s on the other line. Something about a U.S. violation of sovereign Russian territory, so could you please tell Bauer to hurry up getting whatever it is he’s looking for while I try to bullshit him?”

“Yes sir”

“Mr President”, Vice President Neocon says to President Suvarov on the other line, “if you’re calling about that little incident at your consulate, I can assure you that the man responsible is acting on his own authority and not under our orders.”

“Nevertheless, this is a serious violation and unless he stands down immediately…”

“Which part of ‘under his own authority, out of our control’ did I fail to make clear?”

“…we shall have to respond with the most forceful diplomatic measures at our disposal!”

“Oh dear. It’s going to be a long night at the U.N., isn’t it? Well, we certainly wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of a sternly worded resolution, now would we? I assure you that we’ll do everything we can to fix the problem, Mr President. Now, of course, since we’ve learned that your consul is a co-conspirator in the nuclear attack upon OUR soil that took place this morning, it is only fair for me to point out that our response, should this turn out to be true, might be in the form of something a bit more forceful than a diplomatic note of concern.”

At the consulate, Jack is issuing notes of diplomatic rebuke to Markov in the form of clenched fists pounding into Markov’s face.

“I’ll never tell you anything, you capitalist running dog lackey, no matter how much you punch me in the face!”

“Would you shut up? I haven’t even started interrogating you yet. This was just something I did because I wanted to. Now tell me what Gredenko is doing for Fayed before I get angry, why don’t you?”

“I don’t know”, Markov replies defiantly.

“Hmmm… A cigar cutter. That looks like fun. You might want to start talking before I give you a manicure, comrade.”

Markov, however, refuses to talk.

“Oops”, Jack says after clipping off Markov’s left pinky, “looks like that little piggy went to market. Nine more to go.”

Markov suddenly remembers where Gredenko is and tells Jack, as well as what he’s doing out there in the Mojave Desert. He also tells, for the benefit of the viewers, that the drones will be launched in two episodes hours.

“Thank you for your cooperation, sir”, Jack says, “and, by the way, I know a guy around here that makes wonderful custom gloves. I’ll give you his number tomorrow”, then walks off. Of course, it might have helped if he’d have called Bill and passed on the information BEFORE he walked to the suddenly exploding door, but that would’ve been too easy, now wouldn’t it?

Jack is captured and carted off.

Meanwhile, Vice President Neocon is on the air, addressing the nation, informing everybody that the long, dark night of the Fascist Neocon BusHitler Dictatorship is about to descend upon the nation. First off, he’ll start by operating from the assumption that, since 99,99999% of all attacks have been committed by middle-aged, Muslim males, it might be a good idea to start looking into middle-aged, Muslim males. For starters, there will be no more full body cavity searches of 89-year-old Presbyterian grandmothers from Ohio. Bloody fascist!

In ACLU offices all over the nation, vacations are being canceled and staffers are singing “Happy Days are Here Again.”

Meanwhile, Al Bundy has hacked into the obligatory un-shielded workstation at the Russian consulate, confirming that Jack has been captured. Token Arab Chick calls Buchanan and passes on the information, telling him that they should probably let the Vice President know, but Bill doesn’t agree. Now that he knows that Frau Blucher isn’t coming to L.A., he’s decided to take his balls back out of the jar again and set up a team to bust into the consulate and rescue Jack, capturing Markov in the process.

Jack, meanwhile, manages to convince a guard that Markov isn’t quite kosher and that he should go call Buchanan and tell him what he’s learned about Gredenko. The guard, obviously no friend of the good consul’s, agrees and sneaks off to do so, at which point he’s promptly and predictably shot in the back of the head by another Russian guard before he can tell Buchanan anything.

Tick… tock… tick… tock…

14 Responses to “Let’s Recycle a Plot Point, Shall We?”
  1. MrSpkr Comment by MrSpkr

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    First!

  2. Lc Scott Comment by Lc Scott

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    “Oops”, Jack says after clipping off Markov’s left pinky, “looks like that little piggy went to market. Nine more to go.”

    Hay I thought torture didn’t work unless the bad guys did it?

  3. Unregistered Comment by jkaiseresquire

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I have to admit I have NEVER watched this show. SO tell me, is it worth watching? I was worried that because it was so heavily hyped it probably wasn’t all that good.

    J. Kaiser
    http://totaltransformation.wordpress.com

  4. BauerPower Comment by BauerPower

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Well, it was good, before CAIR and MoveOn got their hooks into the show. It’s still decent, but when they get to a good terrorist plot, halfway through the season a white rabbit and red herring are tossed in so the lawyers can be kept at bey.

  5. HoundOfDoom Comment by HoundOfDoom

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Hey, J Kaiser,

    24 WAS a good show way back when. I’d suggest renting the DVDs from previous seasons. I think that season 2 was my favorite. Filled with eeevil ay-rabs, and lots of firm, supple, Kim Bauer goodness. :tongue_rolleye_ee:

  6. Unregistered Comment by demonicgerbil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I pretty much stopped watching after the second season. My parents, God bless ‘em, still watch it.

  7. BauerPower Comment by BauerPower

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    OK, 24 has some good points, and the action is good when done properly, but I do get disappointed when terrorists are thrown into the mix at the beginning. They’re scary, they’re all too real, then after some interest group gets its panties in a twist, 24 does a complete 180…..

    WARNING, SPOILERS AHEAD

    Season 1- no real probs, as Jack was being hunted by Serbian war criminals and regaining the trust of his coworkers at CTU.

    Season 2- Fundamentalist Muslim terrorists build a nuke, to take out LA. Their leader is an offshoot of Al Qaeda. This plot goes well over halfway into the plot. Then after some leftards brainstorming, there’s a whole false intelligence leading to war plot, and the culprits are white oil companies who are manipulating the hawkish and bald Vice President (I wonder who they’re alluding to?)

    Season 4- The Secretary of Defense is abducted by ISlamic extremists, as masterminded by sleeper cells in the US. One cell is an entire family in suburbia. They’re all too apolitical and nice and unassuming with the neighbors. Shut the doors, draw the blinds, they’re plotting beheadings, bombings, and nuclear reactor meltdowns. However, CAIR throws a caniption fit and we have Halliburton as an accomplice providing the terrorists with hardware. But by the end, the ship rights itself, and the Islamic extremists are in charge of white guys and disgruntled lefties, about to fire a nuke, AFTER downing Air Force One.

    Season 6- this season. Terrorist mooselimbs are lighting off suicide bombings ALL OVER the US. They are not helping in investigations, i.e. ergo, they get interned. The Prez is a softy and wants them free, but the Veep is a neocon- sound familiar again? Wonder how this plays out? Are the Russians the true masterminds OR is Sameer Noganaworkhere gonna play the Ruskies and use them then kill them? I guess, wait and see. I just wanna see Cynthia McKinney get slapped, and Gee Wally in another schoolyard fight.

  8. Unregistered Comment by Cheryl

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    It is a refreshing change of pace to see that V.P. Neocon actually HAS a pair, as opposed to temporarily indisposed Allstate, Jr. Great Cheney imitation as well. I was also pleased to see former Prez Creepy Weasel again.

    Can’t wait to see baby sister Allstate’s temper tantrum at finding out Neocon’s in charge. It would be a great scene for her to stomp into the Oval Office like she did with her brother and then get summarily bitch-slapped by Evil. :thumbup_tb: :clap_tb: :lol_wp:

  9. MCPO Airdale Comment by MCPO Airdale

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    . . . and Keifer Sutherland buys a year of carbon credits.

  10. Unregistered Comment by jkaiseresquire

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    I think I will rent season four..sounds the most realistic to me (minus the halliburton garbage).

  11. TJ's Anti-Contrarian Blog Comment by TJ's Anti-Contrarian Blog

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Vice President Neocon continues his speech to the nation with by inciting the world…
    “Either you’re with us, or you’re against us.
    We can be your best friends or your worst enemy.

  12. Unregistered Comment by Troll King

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Thank you, EM. My power went out on Monday night because of a windstorm, and I missed 24. Now I’m all caught up.

    Now if only someone can tell me if the president got shot on Prison Break. [It looked like something had to happen to the president for the series to continue, but thent he power went out.]

  13. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Troll King!!!

    Where have you BEEN, old friend???

  14. Unregistered Comment by Cheryl

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Hi Troll King.

    No, the president didn’t get shot on PB. Instead of issuing a pardon publicly on TV, she double-crossed the brothers, and announced she was stepping down because of illness, thus making their tape useless.