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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » I’ve Got Your “Purifier” Right Here
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Link thanks to The Empress:

GUATEMALA CITY - Mayan priests will purify a sacred archaeological site to eliminate “bad spirits” after President Bush visits next week, an official with close ties to the group said Thursday.

[Juan] Tiney said the “spirit guides of the Mayan community” decided it would be necessary to cleanse the sacred site of “bad spirits” after Bush’s visit so that their ancestors could rest in peace.

Considering that the activities on said “sacred site” in the past would include live human sacrifices, skinning of victims, cannibalism and other favorite Mayan religious activities, we have to agree that the sites are long overdue for a cleansing.

Personally, we’d say that a full voiding of the Most Holy Imperial Bladder and Bowels on site would do nicely. For starters.

We’d be willing to throw in a nice load of vomit as well, free of charge. All we’d have to do would be to think of the Mayans’ “sacred” rituals.

22 Responses to “I’ve Got Your “Purifier” Right Here”
  1. robohobo55 Comment by robohobo55

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    Considering that their “religion” was practically exterminated along with them, may be time finish the job. We can then cleanse the site with the appropriate fire ritual - napalm at dawn.

    Idiots.

  2. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper

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    The Aztecs, Incas, and Mayans are long gone. The Spaniards and the Portuguese saw to that.

    The poseur “priests” should get back to selling “worry dolls” to the rubes.

  3. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

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    Any chance that they will show up in Washington DC in January 2009? :lol_wp:

    (sorry, I couldn’t resist…)

  4. Michael Comment by Michael

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    I say Purify them with a Nuke. Nothing says “purification” than a little bottled sunshine.

  5. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper

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    Any chance that they will show up in Washington DC in January 2009?

    If their driver’s name is Kennedy, they’ll show up only in a chalk outline.

  6. Gang of One Comment by Gang of One

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    Jean Jacques Rousseau, please call your office. The Noble Savages™ are tweaking the heart-strings of all the Guilty Caucasians™
    Again.

  7. ACLPoo Comment by ACLPoo

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    Christ, what a bunch of savages. The only tribute to modern society they can purge is anti-Americanism? It’s like listening to a parrot, only not as intelligent.
    Fuckin’ evil spirits they loath so much are bringing commerce to their pathetic 3rd world, murder capital stankholes so they can pray to the Coke bottle they found 20 years ago, with full bellies.
    The fuckin cavemen would have died off from polio if it weren’t for our evil money-machine. Bush’s money to help fight drug lords in their swarthy slums should have gone elsewhere. Let’s see them beg for a change, it would look good on them.

  8. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

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    Bad Spirits…..Is that like cheap liquor?

  9. sig94 Comment by sig94

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    The Mayans even had a month, Tlacaxipehualiztli - which means the flaying of men, to honor their god Xipe-Totec. This god was worshipped by sacrifice and dancing by priests wearing the flayed skin of victims.

    And they’re going to purify the site after their ancestors defiled it for so many centuries. The flesh covering of men ripped from their bodies while they screamed in agony and the priests wrapped themselves in it and danced some hellish jig.

    The invasion of the Catholic Spaniards was a blessing. But the downfall of the Mayans began 500 years before the arrival of Spain. There was the invasion of the Mexican Toltecs around 1000 AD. The Tolteca were precolumbians from Central Mexico, about 800 miles north of the Mayans.

    It was the Mexican Toltecs who introduced the worship of the feathered serpent god, Quetzalcoatl-Kukulcan, and corrupted the Mayan culture which flourished from about 300 to 900 AD.

    With the distortion of values, there were mass slaughters of slaves to honor the gods and this was now considered more important than producing objects of beauty for enjoyment in the after-life.

    Freaking illegal immigration. The f**kers never changed.

    And interestingly enough most Mayans are now Catholics. So perhaps the priests who are going to perform the purification rituals (which are no where to be found in any New Testament book - it is a hold over from the OT and paganism) are Catholic ass clowns (as opposed to Protestant ass clowns - I’m an equal opportunity offender). Either way, these loons still touch themselves in an impure manner.

  10. fmragtops Comment by fmragtops

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    C’mon guys, you know these ancient people were in tune with mother gaia and therefore better than us evil capitalist polluters.

  11. Unregistered Comment by Cheryl

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    Juan] Tiney said the “spirit guides of the Mayan community” decided it would be necessary to cleanse the sacred site of “bad spirits” after Bush’s visit so that their ancestors could rest in peace.

    “Tiney Nads” Juan and his “mayan community” would not know spirit guides if they were porked in the rear by them. Looks like someone has seen Mel “Kill them Joo Bastards” Gibson’s movie about Noble Savages[TM] one too many times.

  12. Gang of One Comment by Gang of One

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    The Mayans even had a month, Tlacaxipehualiztli

    Sig, I think you are referring to the Aztecs, or Mexica as they called themselves. They arrived in Cem Anahuac Tenochtitlan — The Heart of the One World — from the north. They were the original Chichimeca, Dog People, who were reviled by every nation they meandered into. They settled in the Valley of Mexico, and the rest is colorful history. The god Xipe-Totec, the Dear One Flayed, as is the month-name Tlacaxipehualiztli are Nahuatl words, IIANM. The classic Mayan period was at least 1,000 - 1,500 years before the Mexica founded their empire in the 13th, 14th, 15th and [partial] 16th Centuries.

  13. sig94 Comment by sig94

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    Gang, I was checking on that when I ran into this:

    The crowd at the base of the enormous bloodred pyramid has been standing for hours in the dripping heat of the Guatemalan jungle. No one moves; every eye stays fixed on the building’s summit, where the king, his head adorned with feathers, his scepter a two-headed crocodile, is about to emerge from a sacred chamber with instructions from his long-dead ancestors. The crowd sees nothing of his movements, but it knows the ritual: lifted into the next world by hallucinogenic drugs, the king will take an obsidian blade or the spine of a stingray, pierce his own penis, and then draw a rope through the wound, letting the blood drip onto bits of bark paper. Then he will take the bark and set it afire, and out of the rising smoke a vision of a serpent will appear to him.

    After I stopped puking and shuddering,I read this:

    When the king finally emerges, on the verge of collapse, he reaches under his loincloth, displays a bloodstained hand and announces the ancestors’ message–the same message he has received so many times in the past: “Prepare to go to war.” The crowd erupts in wild cheers. The bloodletting has barely begun.

    A nation lead by a wacked out psycho-sado-masochistic dick-drilling freak.

    Lordamercy I don’t care anymore, except that they’re dead.

  14. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

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    Noble Savages *spit*

    the invasion of the Catholic Spaniards was a blessing. But the downfall of the Mayans began 500 years before the arrival of Spain.

    I’m still working on that study, but, I do recall modern archaeological findings suggest their culture was nearly extinct prior to the Spanish invasion by about 500 years as you state.

  15. Gang of One Comment by Gang of One

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    Sig,

    Of course the Maya practiced human sacrifice and cannibalism … every pagan society has it lurking in its past. The Hebrews were the first to substitute animals for humans as offerings — reference the Akeida, the time when Abraham was told by YHVH to sacrifice Isaac, and the change of economy when YHVH recognized Abraham’s faith and tells Abraham to put down his knife. The whole story is an extremely complex allegory in which we shall not go into depth with here.

  16. Unregistered Trackback by The Democratic Daily

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    Priests to Purify Ancient Archaeological Site After Bush Visit…

    Bush’s seven-day tour of Latin America, which has sparked outcry and protests, will include a stopover in Guatemala.
    On Monday morning he is scheduled to visit the archaeological site Iximche on the high western plateau in a region of the Cent…

  17. MegaTroopX Comment by MegaTroopX

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    Now see, that’s why we’re the hyperpower, and you’re, well, you.

  18. MegaTroopX Comment by MegaTroopX

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    “That a person like (Bush), with the persecution of our migrant brothers in the United States

    We have not yet begun to persecute!

    Seriously, we haven’t.

    When does that start?

    To paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy, if you’re going to get treated like a persecutor, you oughta act like one.

  19. MegaTroopX Comment by MegaTroopX

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    Priests to Purify Ancient Archaeological Site After Bush Visit…

    I think Bush will need to purify himself after visiting so many Turd World holes. It’d be unseemly for the CinC to get a case of the shits.

  20. SoCalOilMan, LC Comment by SoCalOilMan, LC

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    sig94

    Freaking illegal immigration. The f**kers never changed.

    Ole! :lol_tb:

  21. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    Mayan priests will purify a sacred archaeological site to eliminate “bad spirits” after President Bush visits next week, an official with close ties to the group said Thursday.

    Then they plan to work their way across Mexico and enter the US illegally to find a PAYING job.

    ladies and gentlemen…quetzlcoatl has left the building

  22. Unregistered Comment by James P

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    “Considering that the activities on said “sacred site” in the past would include live human sacrifices, skinning of victims, cannibalism and other favorite Mayan religious activities, we have to agree that the sites are long overdue for a cleansing.”

    Those people were beyond barbaric. I don’t care what anyone says; when the Spanish came and smacked them down, they did the world a big favor.