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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Sun Hot, National Geographic Baffled!
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Sorry, LC & IB Beth, but we just had to borrow this link from your most excellent post mentioned below this one.

Simultaneous warming on Earth and Mars suggests that our planet’s recent climate changes have a natural—and not a human-induced—cause, according to one scientist’s controversial theory.

You would have to be an anencephalic toad or a journalist with the National Geographic (but we repeat ourself) to consider the Sun’s alleged influence on the Earth’s climate “controversial”, wouldn’t you?

We can just see Kate Ravilious, the author of this nonsense, stepping off a plane in Dallas on a hot July day, looking around bewilderedly, trying desperately to figure out what on Earth it is that is causing all of this unbearable heat.

Earth is currently experiencing rapid warming, which the vast majority of climate scientists says is due to humans pumping huge amounts of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere. (Get an overview: “Global Warming Fast Facts”.)

No thanks. If your facts are as impressive as your failure to grasp the correlation between that big, yellow ball in the sky and global temperatures, we’re reasonably certain that there’d be little point in looking at them. We are, however, quite sure that you’re every bit as “fast” with them as we’d suspect.

Mars, too, appears to be enjoying more mild and balmy temperatures.

In 2005 data from NASA’s Mars Global Surveyor and Odyssey missions revealed that the carbon dioxide “ice caps” near Mars’s south pole had been diminishing for three summers in a row.

Damn those Mars Rovers and flatulent Martian cows! Will nobody think of The Children™?

Habibullo Abdussamatov, head of space research at St. Petersburg’s Pulkovo Astronomical Observatory in Russia, says the Mars data is evidence that the current global warming on Earth is being caused by changes in the sun.

“The long-term increase in solar irradiance is heating both Earth and Mars,” he said.

Please hold it for a minute, Mr Abdussamatov, we think that Kate’s empty little head just exploded. All of that logic and, worse still, all of those big, frightening words! Have you no mercy, man?

By studying fluctuations in the warmth of the sun, Abdussamatov believes he can see a pattern that fits with the ups and downs in climate we see on Earth and Mars.

Abdussamatov’s work, however, has not been well received by other climate scientists.

The bastard just made a move on their meal tickets!

“His views are completely at odds with the mainstream scientific opinion,” said Colin Wilson, a planetary physicist at England’s Oxford University.

…and the Goreacle, the single most brilliant divinity school dropout to ever walk the Earth (and water. He walks on water too!).

“And they contradict the extensive evidence presented in the most recent IPCC [Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change] report.” (Related: “Global Warming ‘Very Likely’ Caused by Humans, World Climate Experts Say” [February 2, 2007].)

At least that’s what it said once they were done deleting the statements from scientists that said that it isn’t, while leaving the names of said dissenting scientists on the report to bolster their numbers. Not to mention that anybody believing a single word coming from a group associated with the U.N. deserves every little calamity that may fall upon his ignorant self.

The conventional theory is that climate changes on Mars can be explained primarily by small alterations in the planet’s orbit and tilt, not by changes in the sun.

“Wobbles in the orbit of Mars are the main cause of its climate change in the current era,” Oxford’s Wilson explained. (Related: “Don’t Blame Sun for Global Warming, Study Says” [September 13, 2006].)

Wobbling that doesn’t happen on Earth, yet somehow magically manages to coincide with every single time that SUVs cause Terran temperatures to rise, such as during the middle ages.

All planets experience a few wobbles as they make their journey around the sun. Earth’s wobbles are known as Milankovitch cycles and occur on time scales of between 20,000 and 100,000 years.

These fluctuations change the tilt of Earth’s axis and its distance from the sun and are thought to be responsible for the waxing and waning of ice ages on Earth.

Something that used to be known as “climate change” but isn’t anymore, now that the term is the intellectual property of the Goreacle and refers exclusively to man-made outrages against Holy Mother Gaia that have absolutely NOTHING to do with wobbles, tilts or Solar output.

His Majesty doesn’t know about the rest of you, but this sounds so completely convincing that we cannot fathom how we could have ever doubted it.

Climate change with human industry absent : Caused by planetary wobbles, tilts, pirouettes and Solar output.

Climate change with human industry present : Caused by EVIL RETHUGLIKKKAN HALLIBURTONIST GAIA DESPOILERS!

See? It’s quite easy. All you have to do is shut down your brain’s capacity for critical thought and it is as clear as the light that shines from The Most High and Holy Goracle’s Nether Regions™.

Mars and Earth wobble in different ways, and most scientists think it is pure coincidence that both planets are between ice ages right now.

“Mars has no [large] moon, which makes its wobbles much larger, and hence the swings in climate are greater too,” Wilson said.

“Pure coincidence, we tell you! Oh how we laughed when we thought up this explanation and realized that we’d be able to fool you gullible morons once again. Besides, we have mortgages that are due.

“Perhaps the biggest stumbling block in Abdussamatov’s theory is his dismissal of the greenhouse effect, in which atmospheric gases such as carbon dioxide help keep heat trapped near the planet’s surface.

He claims that carbon dioxide has only a small influence on Earth’s climate and virtually no influence on Mars.

But “without the greenhouse effect there would be very little, if any, life on Earth, since our planet would pretty much be a big ball of ice,” said Evan, of the University of Wisconsin.

And where exactly is Abdussamatov “dismissing the greenhouse effect?” All we see, but of course we have the benefit of a fully developed brain, is a dismissal of CO2 as the one critical, major factor. In which he’s hardly alone. Water vapor, for instance? It makes up 95% of the total amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, yet it isn’t considered “important” for some reason. As a matter of fact, man-made emissions, CO2 being the “baddest boy on the block”, make up 0.28% of the total.

But without that, Earth would be a “big ball of ice”, according to the mouthbreathing moron quoted above. We guess the glaciers didn’t really recede until after World War II, then.

Most scientists now fear that the massive amount of carbon dioxide humans are pumping into the air will lead to a catastrophic rise in Earth’s temperatures, dramatically raising sea levels as glaciers melt and leading to extreme weather worldwide.

And we should bloody well keep on pumping, if you ask us. After all, if CO2 is all that keeps us from living on a giant, spherical skating rink, it would be the very height of irresponsibility to quit. Unless you’re partial to a diet consisting entirely of frozen water.

Abdussamatov remains contrarian, however, suggesting that the sun holds something quite different in store.

“The solar irradiance began to drop in the 1990s, and a minimum will be reached by approximately 2040,” Abdussamatov said. “It will cause a steep cooling of the climate on Earth in 15 to 20 years.”

It would seem to gel nicely with the dropping temperatures over the last three years or so, but we’ll see. If he’s right, and seeing as how his hypothesis is the only one so far that seems to correlate with observable facts it’s not unlikely, he’ll be first to cash in on the next Global Cooling Research Grants Bonanza™.

But whether he’s right or not doesn’t really matter.

There’s naught we can do about it either way, other than spending our resources trying to adapt. The very resources that the Church of the Goreacle seeks to deny us in the name of their giant hoax.

27 Responses to “Sun Hot, National Geographic Baffled!”
  1. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    “Don’t Blame Sun for Global Warming, Study Says”

    Yeah you meanies! Don’t blame that poor Sun for all our Eeeeevil Capitalist Bush/Rove/Cheney/Halliburton SUV Weather Machines. You know damn well that humans are more powerful than that gigantic ball of superheated gas in the sky.

    *cough* *gaaag* *hack*

    Ugghh….makes my brain hurt to talk like that…

  2. Unregistered Comment by elchonon

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    WAY OT but crunchy didja get my last 3 emails?

  3. sig94 Comment by sig94

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    I still think that Global Warming is nothing more than hot flashes caused by Gaia going into menopause.

    A little HRT and a bawdy night with Mopey and she’ll be right as rain.

  4. Unregistered Comment by snelson134

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    I vote for the Barsoomian Air Cars!

  5. Unregistered Comment by LC Staci GBOR

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    Geesh, I learned this shit in 5th grade.

  6. sig94 Comment by sig94

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    I still think Mama Gaia is in menopause and her hot flashes are causing the problem.

    A little HRT, a few beers and she’ll perk right up.

    Just don’t tell her she’s getting fat.

  7. James Comment by James

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    Hubble photograph picture of Mars, June 26, 2001:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Mars_Hubble.jpg

    Hubble photograph picture of Mars, October 25, 2005:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:2005-1103mars-full.jpg

    Damn, those rovers sure now how to destroy planets! It appears that both icecaps have decreased in size which kinda harms any argument that says it’s a seasonal change.

  8. Unregistered Comment by Infidel River Rat

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    Somebody oughtta mention that to Aaaal Goooore while he’s in one of his self-inflating press conferences, and watch him shit hoimself and spazz!

  9. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    WAY OT but crunchy didja get my last 3 emails?

    Sure did elchonon, got em all flagged for follow up. Just been busy as a one legged men at an ass kickin contest. I’ll be talkin to ya soon bro.

    Back OT, whodathunk that the big heat tab in the sky had anything to do with it being hot. WOW!

  10. Radical Redneck Comment by Radical Redneck

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    You and BC have identical posts back to back! :doh_tb:

  11. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    You and BC have identical posts back to back! :doh_tb:

    No they’re not. I just couldn’t help myself when I read Beth’s post and saw that juicy link, just BEGGING for a Fiskin’.

    I owe her one. Again.

  12. Unregistered Comment by Uchuck the Tuchuck

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    “Abdussamatov remains contrarian, however, suggesting that the sun holds something quite different in store.

    “The solar irradiance began to drop in the 1990s, and a minimum will be reached by approximately 2040,” Abdussamatov said. “It will cause a steep cooling of the climate on Earth in 15 to 20 years.” ”

    And if he’s right, I’ll bet a shiny new buffalo nickel that Algore pops up (from his grave, if we’re lucky) to claim credit for saving Mother Earth from the evils of…well, Me.

  13. Unregistered Comment by Clarion

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    hey look. Cat ownership offsets!

    http://www.smalldeadanimals.com/archives/005811.html

  14. Unregistered Comment by fanbladesaresharp

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    Nat’l Geo has always been chasing something. I had a scrip for 15 years when I was kid. I think my late grandmother had every issue back to 1925 until the 70’s.

    National Geographic is good for kids to learn as a starting point. But I succinctly remember the global cooling and nuclear winter issues. Same goes for Popular Mechanics. I remember reading WWII era issues about WWI nerve gas and it was all sending us to hell…

    National Geographic is fun to watch but it is nothing more than a cable TV channel anymore. I love God’s green earth, I just don’t like some of it’s residents.

  15. Unregistered Pingback by Inoperable Terran » Shocking news

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    […] Sun is hot! Leading scientists don’t get it. Posted by Ian S. […]

  16. Unregistered Comment by ClimbingFreeman

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    When he was on his college speaking tours, nearly every place he stopped soon after or even during Gore’s visit, experienced a cold snap. If Mars’ polar ice caps are realy melting, there’s only one solution: send Al Gore to the red planet on a public speaking tour.

    Hey, it’ll kill 3 birds with one stone. 1st, we’ll make sure Mars is explored by humans. Second, Al Gore’s presence and lack of charisma will send a chill through the Martian climate, saving its polar ice caps. And 3rd, it’ll take him out of the running for the presidency.

    Next phase: we send Hillary Clinton, Obama, Kennedy, and Edwards to Alpha Centauri for a little look-see.

  17. philmon Comment by philmon

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    “His views are completely at odds with the mainstream scientific opinion,” said Colin Wilson, a planetary physicist at England’s Oxford University.

    That may or may not be true, nor does constant repetition (don’t they call that “chanting”?) that AGW is the mainstream scientific opinion. See, they make it real convenient by 1) counting scientists who won’t flatly say it isn’t so as “agreeing”, and 2) dismissing any scientist who uses any stronger wording to question it as “not mainstream”. See how easy that is?

    Incidentally, I contacted Abdussamatov directly via email a couple of weeks ago when I first saw this. He graciously responded. As I suspected, he does not dismiss the greenhouse effect, just the role additional CO2 in the atmosphere can play in it.

    And even if it is true that “most” scientists agree that we are causing additional warming due to our CO2 emissions — the data does not back that up. Let’s remember that at one time the majority scientific opinion was that the sun revolves around the earth and the world is flat. Later we found some very convincing data that neither was true.

    And no, model output is not data. It is not evidence. It’ll predict whatever you tell the model to predict based on your understanding. If your understanding is wrong (which the real, actual observational data strongly implies)… your model output is crap.

    I found this bit in Thomas Sowell’s recent “random thoughts” post that I found interesting as well.

  18. juandos Comment by juandos

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    Sun Hot, National Geographic Baffled!

    Well now who’s shocked by that?!?!

    Patrick J. Michaels of both the Cato Institute and the Heartland Institute noted in May ‘04 the following about National Geographic: On February 9, National Geographic Online claimed European Neanderthals were wiped out by the ice age some 60,000 years ago. Apparently they couldn’t adapt to a changing landscape that made hunting more difficult. Obviously, National Geographic managed to miss the other side of the coin: The human competition to Neanderthals –i.e., us–was clever enough to adapt to climate change

  19. Unregistered Comment by CKO1986

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    I can assure all of you from personal experience that one winter’s morning in New England would be enough to change the mind of the most fervent global warming believer.

  20. cmblake6 Comment by cmblake6

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    Does anyone here realise the truly SCARY part about all this? Obviously there are people stupid enough to buy this crap! And as we sit, giggle, and point at them, they are dutifully screwing up our lives. Pay close attention.

  21. LC & IB FIAR Comment by LC & IB FIAR

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    Don’t blame the Sun for Global Warming! It’s caused by humans, on Earth, on Mars, and on Narnia.

    Don’t you people know anything? :lol_ee:

  22. LC & IB FIAR Comment by LC & IB FIAR

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    The conventional theory is that climate changes on Mars can be explained primarily by small alterations in the planet’s orbit and tilt, not by changes in the sun.

    Does this remind anyone else of Copernicus being told to revise his Solar System.

  23. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    Does anyone here realise the truly SCARY part about all this? Obviously there are people stupid enough to buy this crap! And as we sit, giggle, and point at them, they are dutifully screwing up our lives. Pay close attention.

    Oh, I’m paying attention alright, a lot more of it than the Church of the Goreacle would like, and I’m sure that most everybody else here are too.

    But don’t underestimate the power of ridicule. It is a most impressive weapon indeed.

  24. Unregistered Comment by JoeBigsky770

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    IMO, there is something that I find strangely hypocritical about the stance of the so-called “Right Wing” RE: “The Global Warming Issue”.

    One would think that given the current (so-called) “War on Terrorism”, since it is believed that all those petro-dollars are gleefully being directed towards nations that would enjoy nothing less than the complete and utter destruction of the west and what they refer to as “the capitalist-imperialist society,” we’d at least try to double our efforts at trying to break this “Petroleum Addiction”.

    Perhaps it’s just easier for “Big Oil” to ‘go with the flow of the status quo’ then to diversify those billions in record profits towards greener technologies, never mind the thought of striking a blow against “Extremist-Islamic Terrorism,” canceling their income…

    Are you as confused as I am?

  25. cmblake6 Comment by cmblake6

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    Perhaps it’s just easier for “Big Oil” to ‘go with the flow of the status quo’ then to diversify those billions in record profits towards greener technologies, never mind the thought of striking a blow against “Extremist-Islamic Terrorism,” canceling their income…
    Are you as confused as I am?

    Hmmmm. Good point. And we HAVE the technology, it’s just suppressed.

  26. juandos Comment by juandos

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    those billions in record profits

    How about those billions in record tax collections being used instead?

  27. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

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    You got it, juandos, twenty per cent, three bucks a day from me every friggin’ day I work.