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Try THAT One in Texas, Why Dontcha? (UPDATED: Drat!)
Posted by: Emperor Misha I in EUroweenies, Ecofreaks, Global Wormening, Nanny Statism3:08 PM
The results would be quite entertaining. And messy. (Link thanks to LC & IB Ace):
BRUSSELS, April 3 (RIA Novosti) - The government of Belgium’s French-speaking region of Wallonia, which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported.
It’s “barbecuing”, you dumbfuck turd worlders or, if you absolutely must stick a “q” in there somewhere, “BBQing.”
AND it is a Holy Food, and the consequences of trying to mess with it will be truly Biblical in proportion. And that’s before G-d gets around to taking part in the festivities.
Experts said that between 50 and 100 grams of CO2, a so-called greenhouse gas, is emitted during barbequing. Beginning June 2007, residents of Wallonia will have to pay 20 euros for a grilling session.
That’s $26 in real money. 26 bucks just to fire up the grill. Actual meat costs extra. Again, I’d love to see the Texas legislator suicidal enough to even think about proposing something as terminally tumblefucked as this. So how do the Belchians propose enforcing this madness?
The local authorities plan to monitor compliance with the new tax legislation from helicopters, whose thermal sensors will detect burning grills.
All of a sudden the enormous BBQ tax makes sense, in a EUrotardian sort of screwed up way. Something is going to have to pay for all of the fuel those choppers will be burning in order to keep the Belchian subjects from “polluting” the air with CO2 when they cook.
Hey… Waitaminnit…
Morons.
But before you start laughing too loudly, we’re sure you’d like to know that five doddering old senile coots on the Supreme Court just discovered yet another hitherto unknown provision in the Constitution, this one granting the Federal government the powers to regulate — wait for it — breathing.
Rope. Tree. Judge.
You know the drill.
***UPDATE***: Alright, so not even the Belchian gummint are that incandescently imbecilic. ‘Twas but an April Fool’s joke of theirs. Hahaha. No, really, good one! You really got us there, you evil bastitches. I know when I’ve been had, and boy I was HAD! :doh_tb:
Entries (RSS)
Belgian Waffles make me fart…are they gonna tax me for eating Belgian Waffles?
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:15 PMUsing
Yes they are TJ. I swear I heard one of them down here in Houston. Now they’re talking noise abatement laws. Thanks a lot. Stop eating those willya.
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:24 PMUsing
Misha Sez:
Might as well, Texans are suffering from the delusion that BEEF is ‘cue, when anybody with a lick of sense that has been to the center of the BBQ Universe, Memphis, TN., KNOWS that REAL ‘cue is made from PORK….
Wrap your lips around a pulled pork butt that has been smoked for 12 - 18 hours and made into a sammich with slaw on top w/ spicy sauce, and you’ll throw rocks at that crap that Texans call ‘cue….
Texas “‘cue” is little more than a screwed up steak with BBQ sauce on it…
Silly Texans…
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:29 PMUsing
Now…Now MoMinuteMan. I agree that Texans think that Q is beef and nothing more BUT I consider myself a true BBQer and I produce both beef and pork slowly smoked to perfection. As far as Memphis, man you really need to expand your taste to KC and Carolina both North and South….they are all delicious!!!
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:57 PMUsing
Whatever, Mo.
Anyhoo, in Abilene they have officially outlawed smoking in all public places, with very few exceptions. And now that the Supreme Court has told the EPA to reevaluate its stance on CO2 emissions…well, it could happen here. But they will probably just tack it on to the taxes we pay every year.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t smoke. I think it is a nasty, filthy habit. But if a free citizen of the USA wants to light up (away from me and mine) then that’s his bizzy. I’m just saying that it could be a step down the path.
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:00 PMUsing
And now the blood-letting starts! :guns_tb:
It is true Memphis makes adequate BBQ, but Texans have perfected BEEF BBQ. (And there is a lot more to a cow than just steak!) I also love the pork AND chicken BBQ found in the Carolinas and KC.
And any true Texan knows that your BBQ sauce should be BEER based, and not vinegar based like in the South East. :tongue3_tb:
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:03 PMUsing
KC ‘cue is too sweet, and I kinda dig Carolina ‘cue because of the vinegar bite, (being a truck driver, I’ve had the chance to sample all four kinds), But The Big M’s ‘cue kinda blends the two together and puts ‘em all to shame.
While I’m sure the meat coming off of your grill is tasty and well worth consuming, beef ain’t ‘cue, beef is burgers and steak.
But I am willing to grant special dispensation to a good smoked brisket, thinly sliced and piled with slaw in sammich mode…
yum, yum, gimme some…
(but it is still smoked brisket, not ‘cue…)
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:10 PMUsing
BBQ is like wine. Every region is different and, charcoal lush that I am, I like ‘em all. Never met a BBQ I didn’t like, in fact.
And this story makes me damn glad I live in America, where if the gov’t tried to take away our right to pork ribs, chips, ice cream and beer (the 4 food groups) on July 4th, we’d remind them right quick about Amendment #2, thankyouverymuch.
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:15 PMUsing
Well since my Dad passed on in 2002, Heaven has been enjoying his mighty fine North Alabama Smoked BBQ for over 4 years now (on a solid gold brick pit no less)…so I’m sorry to have to tell you that G-d most likely couldn’t care less what us mere mortals are forced to have to endure to keep our right to grill.
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:34 PMUsing
The only thing pork is good for is the House and Senate’s latest bills. That and greasing rounds meant for Muzzies.
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:44 PMUsing
It may be this kicks off World War ‘Q. If American ‘Qs can settle their differences between each other (love Pork, Chicken, Beef, Buffalo, vinegar sauces, sweet sauces, beer sauces, thick, thin, doesn’t matter to me!) In a World War about ‘Q, I’d pit the US against the whole world. Combined.
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:47 PMUsing
All you southerners and your barbecue talk. You ain’t a dedicated Q’er til you fire up the grill at 10 below zero. Rookies and fairweather cooks! Bah!
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:59 PMUsing
actually , gettin’ you ’so called’ food critics :cheese1_ee: onto a more serious note :
go re-read the supreme court decision, and tell me,
did the court say that the FDA COULD regulate CO2 emmisions, or did they MANDATE that the FDA HAD TO regulate same??
I read it as the second point, and find that even scarier than the first, given that if the Pres wanted to, he could just ‘recommend’ that any regulations be withheld.
So, exactly when did the Supreme court get the ability to oversee the operation of other govt. branches??? Limit their reach, yes, but to forcibly extend it??
April 3rd, 2007 at 5:08 PMUsing
i think this is just a ruse to put copters up there to watch the local populace and make sure they’re not doing dangerous thinks like dissing ragheads, praising Christianity, or writing cartoons featuring Mohammed!
April 3rd, 2007 at 5:12 PMUsing
How appropriate. The Mrs. and I ate at Famous Dave’s last night. Texas BBQ beef brisket and rib tips, with corn on the cob and potato salad the way grandma used to make it. BTW, all the sauces there are good.
April 3rd, 2007 at 5:24 PMUsing
And here in the “souf” they call it a Pig Pickin’. Try taxing that too and you will in fact, incite a war. Pig pickins and pulled Pork, like the BBQ’s are a culinary ritual.
Question for our Euroweenies that may read this site: just how long do you think the “gravy train” of money is going to last until you have in fact, taken every last dime from your citizens?
April 3rd, 2007 at 5:43 PMUsing
Oh and the copters thingy? Nice going EU. Now you’ll expel more CO2 and CO just turning the damn engine one than a silly grill. The watchers must be watched.
April 3rd, 2007 at 5:48 PMUsing
CrusaderCoyote, you’ve apparently never had what laughingly passes for Q in Washington state. I can’t describe it but suffice it to say that it is a desecration to the meats they use, much less the fine old art of Barbeque.
Personally, I’m an equal opportunity barbequer, chicken, beef, pork, venison, all have found their way to my Brinkman. Hell, I’ve even done gator, squirrel and rabbit and it all comes out great.
Every area of our nation has its version of barbecue specialities, some better than others. Texas excells with beef. The Carolinas are great at whole hog. There is NO way to beat Memphis ribs, either dry or saucy. If you’ve never had the barbequed chicken they do in KC you’re really missing something. and the smoked seafood from the New England states is a nice change of pace. Even the land of fruits and nuts has their own style when it comes to the Q.
Damn, I think it may just be time to fire up the old smoky and throw on a batch of ribs or a venison tenderloin.
April 3rd, 2007 at 5:57 PMUsing
Hence the trip to Famous Dave’s. We both worked late last night and it was too late to fire up the grill for ourselves.
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:04 PMUsing
Hmmm, seems this thread went from a serious discussion of overtly stupid pandering to geopolitical correctness (and how it may eventually affect us) to the all-important subject of whose BBQ is best.
Where I come from, that’s called “threadjacking”
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:05 PMUsing
Oh you poor deluded Infidel! Blaspheme!
If you haven’t had a true smoked pulled pork sandwich (with vinegar and cayenne pepper wash) with slaw and a pickle and a mound of Lays Potato Chips and baked beans…Sweetie you have NOT lived!
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:11 PMUsing
hmmmm….
Maybe we can set-up an Imperial BBQ Monitoring Helicopter Offset Fund™. They can fweeel even better with carbon-neutral choppers that way, right?
Tragic and Hilarious at the same time.
Mrs. M- you were doing real good until this part:
I’ll take Utz’s anyday. …mheh….
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:13 PMUsing
Aaaargh!
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:19 PMUsing
Deny your Southern roots all you want Bro. We’ll get you straightened out in no time when we get you down here. :devil_tb:
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:20 PMUsing
Well you’ll just have to cut me some slack Nixcell. I’ve had some seriously ass kicking dental problems for the last 3 months (which is ending in oral surgery Thursday morning) and I’ve lost 20 lbs. from not being able to eat more than tomato soup and cream of wheat.
I’M STARVING FOR SOME REAL FOOD! :wallbash_tb:
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:26 PMUsing
Well, in your case I can grant a dispensation
Best of luck to ya!
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:34 PMUsing
Best BBQ is from a hard to find hole in the wall in Talladega AL named The Shack.
As far as breathing regulations go: How far are we from Soylent Green when the gubmint has that kind of power?
Sorry for the juxtaposition of BBQ and soylent green.
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:40 PMUsing
Tom’s BBQ (I believe it was), a little hut on a side road in podunk southern Illinois. MMMMM. Had the best barbecue ANYWHERE. Oh, and PORK makes the best. Beef doesn’t even come close.
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:42 PMUsing
Texas beef, Carolina pulled pork, Memphis, St Louis and KC ribs are all great and should be accorded their place in BBQ history.
But you haven’t lived till you smoked a whole leg of lamb for about 4 hours till the meat falls off the bone. :king_tb:
Heaven.
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:55 PMUsing
“Let’s burn tons of carbon to fuel our choppers to monitor for unlicensed barbecues so we can tax them for their CO2 emissions!”
Being so stupid while serving in a government office ought to be defined as an act of treason.
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:58 PMUsing
Yes, Washington don’t BBQ worth a damn. I went to a place where they supposedly barbecue all their food, got a sampler plate. I’m never going back. I don’t BBQ worth a damn, and I do better than them!
Back to the thread, though … So, I guess Belgium has only electric stoves and ovens? Perhaps some solar ones or some sort of revolutionary friction-heat cooksurfaces? Geothermal? Because if they have any stoves or ovens that operate using, oh, I don’t know, gas or propane, say, then isn’t the whole CO2 thing just a blatantly dishonest rationale for stealing money from the citizenry? And what, exactly, is the difference in CO2 volume produced by a grill during a grilling session versus the CO2 emitted by generating electricity for the same session with a coal or natural gas fired plant?
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:00 PMUsing
Wait ’til the conversation turns to stew. That’s where I jump in.
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:06 PMUsing
I was wondering when that was going to come up in the conversation. Brunswick Stew all the way! With Green Chili. Got some on the stove heating up right now. :clap_tb: :drunk_tb:
In most governments it’s considered an art form.
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:13 PMUsing
Perhaps someone should join all us ‘Q aficionados into, I dunno, some sort of group…a continuum maybe….
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:24 PMUsing
Dammit, Mrs M, there went my self-control!
I absolutely love pulled pork sandwiches! Topped with pickles, a tad of spicy bbq sauce, and cole slaw! YEAH, baby!
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:36 PMUsing
Best barbecue I ever had was at a place in East Denver called Winston Hill’s,
It’s owned and operated by THE Winston Hill, All-Pro Offensive lineman for the World Champion New York Jets…He cooked up everything himself and even came out of the kitchen to seat you…a really cool guy and the restaurant is STILL going strong.
Best pulled pork sammich west of the Arkansas River I’ll betcha.
LC Rowane sez:
Hey waittaminit…..have you ever had fresh caught Puget Sound Silver Salmon with grilled onions??? It may not be official BBQ, but let me know when you’re in the ‘hood and I’ll save you a piece fresh from the Jennair….you just might become a convert :undecided_tb:
You just have to give enough notice so I can get out there and nail a big ‘un….that’s half the fun.
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:13 PMUsing
Have any of you tried putting the chips on the sammich too? Sounds weird but it’s good! I put ‘em between the slaw and the meat.
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:19 PMSurely these people will tell ‘em to pound sand. This is so fucking ridiculous but I’d love to see it tried here! It would be a hoot!
Using
Done that Maxxdog, though i’m not much of a slaw fan….it’s especially good after you let the chips soak up a little BBQ sauce
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:23 PMUsing
Actually, that sounds delicious, Maxx.
Might try it next time with jalopeno flavored chips. :tongue_wink_ee:
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:23 PMUsing
I guess I’m a side-heathen since I likes my BBQ with cool ranch doritos or half a cantaloupe in favor of either Lays or Utz.
Oh yeah, the BBQ emissions….wouldn’t a nicely placed piece of foam about, say 10 above the frill conceal/dilute the heat signatures from said sensors?
Or why not just grill inside and set the whole place on fire…
Or…..ahhh forget it…
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:35 PMUsing
In a blowing snowstorm, no less. It seemed like the right way to celebrate New Years…
Some day, I’ll have to introduce y’all to REAL potato chips. Art’s and Mary’s… I grew up on Lay’s. And I’ve had Utz’s. No comparison. No comparison at all, at all…
(yet another damned thing I had to give up…^whimper^)
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:44 PMUsing
They (the governments of Eunuckleheadstan), don’t believe that there ever WILL be an end to the gravy train, fanbladesaresharp. Bereaucraps the world over seem to be of the belief that they can keep taxing and taking and that their victims will always have more money.
Fookin’ Idiots.
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:48 PMUsing
AND?????
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:49 PMUsing
Getting back to the original issue…. What exactly do Belgians barbecue anyway? Sprouts? :rolleyes_wp: That could be a Q deserving banning. Poor damn euro-heathens. :cry_wp:
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:50 PMWhat about the Fwench tradition of Q-ing their Renaults? Do they use any sauce?
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They will probably be looking for smoke plumes to go with the heat sensors. On the other hand, about three pieces of sheet metal, with 12-18 inch spacing between layers, with good air movement between them should take care of a lot of the IR signature…
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:51 PMUsing
You haven’t lived until you’ve had a bowl (or five) of my Blogosphere-famous Train Wreck Stew™.
Everything but the kitchen sink. Massive amounts of ground beef and stew meat. Tons of mushrooms. Whole baby carrots. Stalks & stalks of chopped celery. Corn, peas, green beans, black-eye peas, lima beans, navy beans, lentils, potatoes, pasta, brown rice…you name it, it’s in there.
Serves 300.
Those who attended Texas Blogfest ‘05 and its sister event, the Bacchanal on the Comal™, got the watered-down version (read: the Atkins-friendly version) and thought they’d died and gone to Heaven’s gun range.
No one beats this stew. No one. It’s my breakfast every morning, so I should know.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:35 PMUsing
Only since I was 5. Which was a looooong time ago. :tongue_wink_ee:
The slaw I make is the vinegar and sugar slaw. Not the mayo slaw. I love mayo slaw…but the vinegar and sugar slaw is THE ONLY good slaw to have with pulled pork sandwiches. Learned to make it from my grandmother, who made it for my grandfather’s BBQ Cafe’, where he did real Pit BBQ. My Dad later built his own pit. He could put a full case of whole chickens (split open), two pork shoulders, two racks of ribs, and a pork butt on it at one time.
Of course there’s one thing that I know most people have never had with BBQ chicken, cause it’s a North Alabama tradition. White Sauce….and I’m not talking the flour and butter crap. We’re talking “Make your eyes water, your sinuses open up, and your mouth pucker and then you reach over and slap your Grandma” White Sauce. :devil_tb:
Damn but that sounds good Spats. :thumbup_tb:
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:04 PMUsing
Just goes to prove that EUroweenies have finally become to inbred too be allowed to breathe. Try to tax my grill and you will get shot at…
Fav BBQ joints:
Salt Lick in Driftwood
Red, Hot & Blue in anywhere I can find them
Quarters in ‘Burque
Meat is meant to be smoked for long periods of time.
April 4th, 2007 at 1:13 AMUsing
[…] Misha […]
April 4th, 2007 at 6:38 AMUsing
[…] of Belgium (natch) has approved a tax on barbecue. Really. Posted by Ian S. […]
April 4th, 2007 at 7:53 AMUsing
April Fools. Holy crap that was a good one.
April 4th, 2007 at 11:07 AMUsing
That joke got us so good because it was so utterly believable. Really, did anyone doubt that the incredible stupidity of the left and the environazis couldn’t come up with it. We believed it because we’ve seen them do things every bit as dumb.
Good one though. Got me good.
April 4th, 2007 at 4:40 PMUsing