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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Damn, Sy, It Took You HOURS This Time
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When it came out yesterday that Iran would shortly announce that it has all of its 3,000 centrifuges in place, we knew it wouldn’t be long until Seymour Hersh came up with one of his usual Super Sekrit Double Probation claims that we’re going to bomb Iran ANY MINUTE NOW!!!!1!!!

And sure enough, here he is (courtesy of LC HOGHEAD at the Conservative Grapevine):

The Pentagon is drawing up a contingency plan to bomb Iran that could be implemented within 24 hours, it was reported yesterday.

George W. Bush has ordered a special planning group, established in the offices of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, to create a bombing strategy which could be set in motion immediately upon his orders.

Seymour Hersh, the investigative journalist, wrote in the New Yorker that the planning group has also been asked to identify targets in Iran that may be involved in supplying or aiding militants in Iraq.

Whatever, Sy. When this breathless piece of “investigative journalism” (see also: “Brothers Grimm, the Fairy Tales of the”) turns out to be a joke as well, will that make it Absolutely Right on the Money Sy Hersh Prediction that Failed to Be True™ #4,555 or #4,556?

Granted, if he keeps up his current habit of “predicting” the imminent bombardment of Iran every two weeks or so, he’ll have to be right at some point. Much like you can’t fail if you say every night that it’s going to rain tomorrow. It doesn’t make you much of a meteorologist, however.

Why Seymour Hersh is quoted anywhere outside of the National Enquirer is a mystery to us. Come to think of it, have they ever quoted him? Probably not. There’s a limit to what they’ll print, after all.

18 Responses to “Damn, Sy, It Took You HOURS This Time”
  1. Iacobus Comment by Iacobus

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    Would bombing those ass-backwards, Holocaust-denying fuckers be such a bad thing anyway?

  2. LC Nixcell Comment by LC Nixcell

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    I know. I wish Sy would stop teasing us like that. Get on with the bombing, already.
    Make It So, Dammit!

  3. Dick Comment by Dick

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    Would somebody please whack that fucking loudmouth asshole in the head? Preferrably with an iron pipe.

  4. Mike M Comment by Mike M

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    You’d think a high fallutin’ writer like Sy would have some clue what the word “contingency” meant. You gotta have a plan. Remember, Fred! says the Russians don’t take a dump without a plan.

    And where would this palindrome be without a plan:

    “A man, no plan, a canal: Panama”.

    It just doesn’t work.

  5. MasterGuns Comment by MasterGuns

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    I guess he thinks we don’t have any contingency plans. I’d bet a pile of money that we have plans drawn up to fight everyone from Luxemburg right on up to Russia and China. The man is obviously a clueless dodo……with apologies to the dodos.

    Hmmmmm….the Moronic Force is strong in this one.

    Semper Fi

  6. Unregistered Comment by thirteen28

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    I guess he thinks we don’t have any contingency plans. I’d bet a pile of money that we have plans drawn up to fight everyone from Luxemburg right on up to Russia and China. The man is obviously a clueless dodo……with apologies to the dodos.

    Sy probably knows that too, but writing about these contingency plans as if they are a sudden revelation is always a good way to get the large plurality (majority?) of bedwetters in a panic - which is the whole point of the exercise for them.

    To thinking people, it would be a travesty if we didn’t have such a plan.

  7. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

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    uhh huhhh…right…got it….

    Not that I would worry too much, I’m sure the New York Treason will scoop any real information he might pluck from his colon. You know the usual target coordinates, launch times and fuse settings. Nothing that could be of any possible use to the target occupants.

  8. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

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    Homer Simpson voice…DOH! Awww..Stupid Papers gave away our plans..

  9. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    OT, but I will now be doing ANY business with Target in the foreseeable future.

    Besides, Kohl’s kicks their ass.

  10. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    I don’t know what Shyster looks like, but for some reason I picture him looking like Shawn Wallace in the Princess Bride.

    The one that played Vizzini. Short little twit who thought he was smarter than everyone else and managed to make himself look like a total ass.

    Vizzini: I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains.
    Westley: You’re that smart?
    Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
    Westley: Yes.
    Vizzini: Morons.
    Westley: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
    Vizzini: Wait till I get going!
    [pause]
    Vizzini: Where was I?

  11. Unregistered Comment by JonB

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    Actually, I have a different gameplan. I say we let Iran get their enrichment going, then, when they have gone well far enough to have a nuclear warhead, we go in in the middle of the night with a B2 and drop a couple on them.
    Then we can just say “wasn’t us, see what happens when you let people like that try to make nuclear bombs? accidents”

  12. Unregistered Comment by mighty aphrodite

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    As I can’t stand Senator KOHL, I confine my bargain hunting to WalMart and Target….Thanks for the heads-up re: Target!

    Mom used to say, “if you can’t say anything nice about someone - you know the rest….” Mom would be HAPPY to know I CAN say something “nice” about Sy. “He’s consistent….”

  13. LC HOGHEAD Comment by LC HOGHEAD

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    HEY BOSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That was MY post on the Grapevine. How about giving a loyal LC and fellow Rottie the props !!!!!!!

    HH

  14. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    That was MY post on the Grapevine. How about giving a loyal LC and fellow Rottie the props !!!!!!!

    But of course. I’ve added it to the link.

  15. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    This is ground breaking, stop-the-presses news? The Pentagon has plans for the invasion of CANADA fer pity’s sake. Iran is news?

    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over?

  16. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    If only we had fewer sy’s and more like this little sweety,,
    This Blonde kicks muzzy ASS!

  17. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    As much as I despise seymour hirsch, I despise more the rat that is feeding this classified info to him…..I hope he’s feeding hirsch nothing but bullshit but if it’s legit defense info then the rat should be the one taken out and shot, with hirsch as a witness…close enough to him to wear the blood splatters.

  18. Unregistered Comment by DukeFenton

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    I suppose it would shock people to learn that the US DoD has, and continually updates, plans for taking on just about every country on the planet - including our putative allies, on the off chance they turn on us or are subsumed by hostile powers. Ergo, by definition we *always* have a plan to bomb Iran; several variations, in fact.

    Not that they haven’t given us reason to, uh, further refine said plans recently. Purely a contingency, really. :innocent1_tb: