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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Iranians Stole My iPod! (UPDATED)
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The Littlest Wanker of the Feckless Fifteen, 12-year-old Arthur Batchelor of the Royal Rubber Duckies, reveals new and hitherto unknown details about the levels of depravity that he was subjected to while in Iranian captivity, details so horrifying that we can scarcely bring ourself to posting them, but the truth must out!

batchelor.jpg
Artsy holds hands with Mumsy and Auntsy after his return from the Tehran Hilton

[Batchelor] revealed that the hardest part of his nightmare in Tehran was when he was separated from mum-of-one Faye - who he said was like a big sister to him - and chucked into solitary confinement.

…speaking of the moment they were reunited, he told how he wept and begged the 26-year-old for a hug. Arthur said: “I missed Topsy most of all. I really love her, as amumand a big sister. Not seeing her and not knowing if she was safe was one of the hardest parts of the whole thing.

“Then on the sixth day, when I was just about giving up hope, I was pulled from my bed in the early hours of the morning.

“They led me down a corridor and into a room, where I saw Topsy in a corner.

“I can’t describe how that felt…just every emotion rolled into one. I ran up to her, threw my arms round her and cried like a baby.

“When I’d calmed down, she asked, ‘Do you need another hug, a mother hug?’ and I said, ‘damn right’.

For shame, what a potty mouth on you, Artsy! Saying ‘damn’ to Topsy-Mumsy! Did you kiss her with that mouth?

“We asked to be put together in a cell, but the guards wouldn’t have it.”

After that display, I can certainly see why. It’s a wonder the poor Iranian guards weren’t barfing up and down the walls.

Meanwhile, thanks to LC Mrs M-IT™, we learn of even more trials and tribulations!

Royal Navy able seaman Arthur Batchelor, 20, said the suits they were given were “tacky”, the CDs and DVDs do not work and there was no sign of his iPod portable media player, worth £160 (R2 229).

Oh no, they took little Artsy’s iPod, and he doesn’t like the goodies in his pink goody bag. Maybe Topsy-Mumsy will give him a hug while he cries like a baby?

The 11 books Batchelor was given were in English and mostly aimed at trying to convert the reader to Islam, with titles like Youth and Morals, The Divine Intervention and Knowing God. He also received some toffees and a bag of nuts.

“They’re a bit pathetic,” Batchelor told the Daily Mirror newspaper of the gifts.

And since he’s speaking as the ultimate authority on “pathetic”, we’ll take his word for it.

“I don’t know what they’re trying to prove by giving us books on morality and their religion. My morals are fine, thank you very much.

That, on the other hand, is very much up for debate, particularly if we’re talking about moral fibre, the which you wouldn’t recognize if it jumped up and stole your pacifier right out of your chubby little pink hands.

“And those suits were an insult.

Hard to tell from the pictures, particularly considering the beaming smiles and handshakes, jokes and laughter and adoring glances at your captors.

Not only did mine not fit,

It’s been next to impossible to find suits in your size since the mullahs outlawed Ken and Barbie.

but it was cheap and tacky and the Hugo Boss shirt was a fake. I could pick up a better outfit at a jumble sale.”

Did it at least button under your botty like the, er, “shirts” that you wear back home at Mumsy’s house?”

The iPod was really special to me as it was a gift,” said Batchelor, an operator maintainer.

“It was in a pocket in my overalls. The guards took everything off us - including cigarettes and watches.

“All we were left with was the clothes on our back. We were told we’d get them back - but I’m still waiting.”

And he shall not know a moment’s rest until his iPod with his Sesame Street Song Collection is returned to him, so you Iranians better beware!

Question: Does this wanker really, for a fleeting second, think that his opening his camel-jizz-filled gob makes him look any better?

He might want to shut up while he’s behind but, then again, think of the prime mockery material that we’d have to forgo.

***UPDATE***: B.C. the Imperial Torturer wins the Funniest Lil’ Arthur PhotoShop Sweepstakes™ hands down with this contribution:

Sir Wetsalot

124 Responses to “Iranians Stole My iPod! (UPDATED)”
  1. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    WILL THE DEPRAVITY NEVER END?

    [/whiner]

  2. Unregistered Comment by JonB

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    Well, at least they didn’t put panties on their heads, that would have been just the worstest mostest badest torture in the whole world!

  3. maxxdog Comment by maxxdog

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    This isn’t real. It has to be some kind of satire. If not and this punks ass isn’t kicked the minute he hits the street(provided mumsie-wumsie lets him out to play)then the Brits are all wankers and should buy their burkas and prayer rugs before the rush starts.
    For fucks sake!

  4. Unregistered Comment by A.C.1

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    You guys know who Adm. James Stockdale is?

    “He was held as a prisoner of war in the Hoa Lo prison for the next seven years. Locked in leg irons in a bath stall, he was routinely tortured and beaten. When told by his captors that he was to be paraded in public, Stockdale slit his scalp with a razor to purposely disfigure himself so that his captors could not use him as propaganda. When they covered his head with a hat, Stockdale beat himself with a stool until his face was swollen beyond recognition. He told them in no uncertain terms that they would never use him. When Stockdale heard that other prisoners were dying under the torture, he slit his wrists and told them that he preferred death to submission.” (Wikipedia)

    A man like Stockdale probably would have sunk the Iranian Navy Ships with a hard look.

  5. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

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    Maybe the loss of the iPod is something that the little wanker might actually put up a fight over?

  6. Unregistered Comment by Marvin2

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Question: could any of these ’sailors’ have made thru US Navy Recruit Training - - I don’t think so.

    Question: could any of these ‘marines’ have made it thru Paris Island — NO.

  7. hitnrun Comment by hitnrun

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I wonder if the Tehran Tourists are even aware that many people consider their behavior to be disgraceful.

    I think HM Defence Ministry had better stop taking it for granted and get in touch with them to make sure that they understand.

  8. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    Haven’t the Brits had a hard time recruiting for their armed forces?

    Maybe this is what they’re left with. :down_tb:

  9. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    “And those suits were an insult.

    Little pricks are more concerned about their vanity here and apparently haven’t given a single thought to what is being done with their uniforms right now. Expect to see in the news that some more British or even American soldiers and/or innocent civilians were killed by Muzzies in Brit uniforms.

    I hope when they hear that they lose a hell of alot of sleep, knowing it was THEIR uniforms that were used.

  10. BauerPower Comment by BauerPower

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Ipod stolen, what a bunch of crap. I don’t even own an Ipod. Hard to imagine this is what is left of the once proud British Military. A bunch of West End Wusses, and their spineless Prime Minister.

    Say it before, and I’ll say it again, Winston Churchill has to be rolling in his grave at this pathetic display of “modern warfare.”

  11. LC HOGHEAD Comment by LC HOGHEAD

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    WHAT A FUCKING FLAMING PUSSY!!

  12. ohio right wing nut Comment by ohio right wing nut

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    Say it ain’t so man.
    They took his iPod? The humanity.
    How is this bloody wanker supposed to listen to Sir Elton John?
    S.T.F.U

  13. LCBrendan Comment by LCBrendan

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    I’m waiting for Turney to leave the Navy, and do a nude shoot with Playboy :help_tb:

  14. jaybear Comment by jaybear

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I can’t describe how that felt…just every emotion rolled into one. I ran up to her, threw my arms round her and cried like a baby.

    “When I’d calmed down, she asked, ‘Do you need another hug, a mother hug?’ and I said, ‘damn right’.

    What’s that phrase they always use in South Park?

    Oh yeah…”Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here!”

    and why oh why does THIS IMAGE keep rolling around in my head? could it be because it’s becoming a reality???

  15. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    Note to self:
    Have “Bonepicker’s Badass Barbeque - Ribs too good for allah” inscribed on ipod,,if I ever get one…

  16. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    You military faaaaaaryy!

  17. ohio right wing nut Comment by ohio right wing nut

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    jAYBEAR

    For G-ds sakes I hope not.
    The Islamonazis are recruting 5 Year olds to kill you and me.
    And we are leting these little pussies make it thru basic. Remind me again about that saying something about bringing a knife to a gun fight?
    The subhuman scum we are fighting are willing to die to kill you and our side won’t put up a fight , bitch cause the suits were tacky,and cry like fucking babies cause Ahmed keeped my ipod.

    We are fucking doomed

  18. ohio right wing nut Comment by ohio right wing nut

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    kept i meant to say

  19. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    well, I just found video of little arthur and his buddies swanning about

  20. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    Iranians Stole My iPod!

    I guess that’s more important than his manhood.

  21. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    his manhood.

    ‘Couldn’t find it,,so they stole the ipod.

  22. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    I see they let Her keep her panties.

    What do you s’pose scared them?

  23. LCBrendan Comment by LCBrendan

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    No, they weren’t interested in anything that small.

  24. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Sir Wetsalot really should just STFU while he only looks like a *spit* fWenchman *spit*. If he keeps it up, he’ll be on par with either Senator from MassiveTwoShits.

  25. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    Question: could any of these ’sailors’ have made thru US Navy Recruit Training - - I don’t think so.

    Question: could any of these ‘marines’ have made it thru Paris Island — NO.

    Cub Scout camp, maybe? Brownies?

  26. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Here’s a little something I whipped together real quick…

    Sir Wetsalot

  27. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    BC! Damn!

    :lol_wp: :lol_tb: :clap_tb: :lol_tb: :lol_wp:

  28. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I hadn’t even thought about a Funniest Lil Artie PhotoShop Contest, B.C., but there you have it.

    P.S.: You won!

    :lol_wp: :clap_tb: :thumbup_tb: :clap_tb: :lol_wp:

  29. MasterGuns Comment by MasterGuns

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    Piss on them. A herd of cowards. Hopefully what’s left of the RN and RM have something left. Somehow I doubt it.

    Semper Fi

  30. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    That expession is just so PERFECT!

  31. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    LC Wil: BC! Damn!

    His Imperialness: I hadn’t even thought about a Funniest Lil Artie PhotoShop Contest, B.C., but there you have it.

    P.S.: You won!

    Thank you. I just wish I had more L33T 5K177Z (or however you geeks spell it) in photo editing.

    You’ll notice that I DID use the appropriate color font to match his parting gift bag from the Turbaned Tumblefucks of Terror-ran™, though.

    :smoke_tb:

  32. Unregistered Comment by LC Wes, Imperial Mohel

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Ouch, B.C. Just ouch.

    …Meanwhile, while we’re busy denouncing the cowardice of these fifteen British sailors and marines, we ought to spare a little bile for the cowardice of the current Italian government as well.

    It seems that they traded the Taliban five of their people captured by NATO forces in Afghanistan for an Italian journalist who’d been taken hostage by the Taliban…and, worse, let the Taliban keep the journalist’s Afghan translator.

    The Taliban beheaded the poor bastard yesterday.

    Also, if you follow the link, you’ll also note that that next week Italy proposes to try an American soldier in absentia over the death of an Italian intelligence agent who paid a hefty cash donation to the Iraqi “insurgency” for another “journalist” - Giuliana Sgrena, remember her? - and tried to run a US checkpoint while attempting to spirit Sgrena out of the country.

    It’s not just Britain that’s circling the bowl, folks..

  33. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    Wes, is it just time to leave NATO, the Useless Nitwits, and all the others, bring the sojers back from Europe and Asia, and just tell the rest of the world to go piss up a rope?

    Near as I can tell, the U.S. has two friends in the world (Israel and the Aussies), and a bunch of ass kissing fair-weather wienies hanging on for the ride.

    When is an appropriate point to take our toys and go home? At some point, Pat Buchannan starts to make sense…

  34. Unregistered Comment by mindy1

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Sheesh,these people really contrast with the victoria cross winner mentioned on another post, not to mention adm stockdale mentioned here. Not to take away from being held hostage,but something still seems off, is it my imagination :ponder_tb: :question_wp:

  35. TJ's Anti-Contrarian Blog Comment by TJ's Anti-Contrarian Blog

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    OMG, I thought the Emperor was joking until I clicked the link…

    WTF! Faye’s lucky that little Artie didn’t want to suckle on “mum’s” calming mammaries to pacify him.

  36. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    Mr Littlejohn strikes again, Sire.

    He needs to run for Prime Minister over there, I think.

  37. Unregistered Comment by mighty aphrodite

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    Reading about our “coalition Partner” military “captives” I NO longer have any wonder why the UK is a second rate “has-been”. No wonder why Brittannia is no longer “Queen of the Ocean”…talk about faded glory…..

  38. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Cub Scout camp, maybe?

    Not a chance, Wil. My son’s Tiger Cub den could take these wussies.

  39. Unregistered Comment by annoyinglittletwerp

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    I washed out of USMC bootcamp 18 years ago due to a coordination problem.
    Even then I was tougher than ‘Artsy’ and ‘Topsy’.
    Hell-at pushing 37 I’m tougher than that group.
    We should chip in for a souvenir shirt for the little guy, “I visited Iran and all I got was this cheap suit.”
    Pathetic. :furious_tb:
    Btw-if Arts’ crush is named ‘Topsy’-are her sisters named Flopsy and Mopsy?
    Just curious.

  40. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    could any of these ’sailors’ have made thru US Navy Recruit Training

    Not the training I went through in Navy Boot…then again, that was thirty-seven years ago……as for PI or Pendleton……..forget it. The Marines I called friends would have beat this guys ass bloody.

  41. Unregistered Comment by LC Wes, Imperial Mohel

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    Oh, damn, Lady Heather, what a scathing article you’ve dug up…

    (Faye Turney) was the People’s Prisoner. From the off, the hostage saga has been covered as if it were an episode of I’m A British Sailor . . . Get Me Out Of Here!

    How long before the (she) pops up on Celebrity Fat Club? I bet they didn’t let her get in the dinghy first. This is a woman who is capable of capsizing the Ark Royal if she shifts her weight to the wrong cheek.

    That, and the “I’ve never sought to diminish the hostages’ ordeal; they’ve done that themselves” line, are just priceless.

  42. Sir Christopher Comment by Sir Christopher

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    Heather, great editorial:

    How long before the ludicrous Faye Turney pops up on Celebrity Fat Club? I bet they didn’t let her get in the dinghy first. This is a woman who is capable of capsizing the Ark Royal if she shifts her weight to the wrong cheek.

  43. Sir Christopher Comment by Sir Christopher

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    shit, Wes lifted the same line while i was typing…GMTA

  44. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    annoyinglittletwerp sez:

    Btw-if Arts’ crush is named ‘Topsy’-are her sisters named Flopsy and Mopsy?
    Just curious.

    I think she might have a sister named Turvy.
    as for Artsy, I hear he has a flatulent older brother named Fartsy

    BC
    ….Good photoshoppin’ buddy, if’n I do say so myself

  45. Unregistered Comment by LC Wes, Imperial Mohel

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    Looks like the Famous Feckless Fifteen are going to wish that they were back in Iranian captivity, once the tabloids get done with them…

    Ouch. :gulp_ee:

  46. Unregistered Comment by elchonon

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    Ive never seen a 20 year old wus the likes of this fag, whyd the fuck he ever enlist in the navy ? he must still take baths with plastic boats and ducks…

    At 20 years old I was on the roof of house #2 in amona as 3,000 highly elite commando yasam troops and border guard trrops, backed up by 4,000 soldiers, 20 or so horses, water canon trucks and what not smashed the shit out of us, tear gas, rubber bullets, clubs etc… and on the roof were kids under 15 as well who had a fucking ideaoligy not bitching about their ipods!

    Geez what ever happend to the british “honor” so fucking proper, someone needs to smash this kid up!

  47. L.C. Rowane Comment by L.C. Rowane

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    Just one question about this, What price Honor?

  48. Unregistered Comment by LC Wes, Imperial Mohel

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Mark Steyn had a little something to say about all this yesterday as well, and came up with a new national anthem for NuLabour Britain as well:

    Watching Tottenham Hotspur fans taking on the Spanish constabulary at a European soccer match the other night, I found myself idly speculating on what might have happened had those Iranian kidnappers made the mistake of seizing 15 hard-boiled football yobs who hadn’t got the Blair memo about not escalating the situation.

    Instead, as we know, the mullahs were fortunate enough to take hostage 15 Royal Navy sailors and Royal Marines. Which were which was hard to say upon their release. The Queen’s Navee had been demobbed. The token gal was dressed up as an Islamic woman and the 14 men had been kitted out in Ahmadinejad leisurewear. Which is not just a ghastly fashion faux pas but a breach of the increasingly one-way Geneva Conventions. But they smiled and they waved. Wave, Britannia! Britannia, waive the rules!…

    You’ve really got to read the whole thing.

  49. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Is this “Ultra Slim Dildo” what CryPod™ Boy has strapped to his shoulder for those lonely nights bobbing about?

    Royal Navy Survival Tool?

  50. JeepThang Comment by JeepThang

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    Wow.. just wow.

    Also.. Littlejohn is a good read, pretty much constantly.

  51. ACLPoo Comment by ACLPoo

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    I’m waiting for Turney to leave the Navy, and do a nude shoot with Playboy

    You could always abduct Turney, it’s not like there are reprecussions…

  52. Serious Sean Comment by Serious Sean

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    When compared to the US Marines held hostage by Iran in the late 70’s, these so-called Royal Marines look pathetic…

  53. p51driver Comment by p51driver

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    Every time I see one of those Euroweenis I have to read this again to remember that the Brits once had a mighty military,http://op-for.com/2007/04/the_defense_of_south_georgia.html
    Ipods,Starbucks, American Idol could these be some of the weapons that will destroy us??

  54. p51driver Comment by p51driver

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    maybe this link will work,
    http://op-for.com/2007/04/the_defense_of_south_georgia.html

  55. Robohobo Comment by Robohobo

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    This is just pathetic. I am without words.

  56. Mike M Comment by Mike M

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    Serious Sean, Marines weren’t the only US military personnel held hostage by those assholes. There were Army and Air Force people there also. With the exception of one guy, Joseph Subic, all of them remained true to the US Military Code of Conduct during their captivity. Consequently, all of them, with the exception of one guy, Joseph Subic, were awarded the Defense Meritorious Service medal. Subic was administratively discharged from the Army because he “did not behave under stress the way noncommissioned officers are expected to act.”

    The Marine Security Guard Detachment members were also awarded the Prisoner of War medal.

  57. ACLPoo Comment by ACLPoo

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    How can the British military allow such weasels to speak like this? What a disgrace!
    Of all the things wrong with the Iranian regime, these tenderfoot mommas-boys complain about their farewell gift packs? There are people being executed for having opinions there. I have a friend in Toronto who’s mother was stoned to death as she was buried up to her neck, and he had to watch it, as a child. An entire generation of young people with their own opinions and no hatred for the west are imprisoned for life by this regime. Now, I hear these soldiers complaining about their parting gifts? Fucksake, if my wardrobe were even half as nice as their Iranian shower gifts…
    Even with the voluntary release and inactivity of the UK gov’t, this situation would not have gone to favoring the Iranian side …. but these faggots had to open their mouths. Can we just put them back into active duty, to passively monitor what we now must admit is Iranian waters? It’s not like anyone is going to argue.
    And to think, we were all hoping for a military/covert action to bring these boys back home, possibly risking real soldiers’ lives. Wow. Most journalists about to be beheaded showed more poise and courage than these kunts.

    end rant

  58. Yochanon Comment by Yochanon

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    If this pansy-assed little cunt had got back on my ship (back when I was in the USN), I’d have bet he’d only lasted one night before a ‘man overboard’ would have sounded…and been lucky if a blanket party wasn’t performed in his honor beforehand.
    Britain is fucked if those 15 are what they have in their military now. Utterly fucked.

  59. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    Oh, damn, Lady Heather, what a scathing article you’ve dug up

    66 comments and not a single one against what he said.

    Take heart, y’all.

    Great Britain may be down, but she’s definitely not out.

  60. juandos Comment by juandos

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    What would’ve 15 members of the SAS done?

  61. Unregistered Comment by hawkeyesrock

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    Question: could any of these ’sailors’ have made thru US Navy Recruit Training - - I don’t think so.

    Question: could any of these ‘marines’ have made it thru Paris Island — NO.

    Cub Scout camp, maybe? Brownies?

    My Brownie could kick this Sunshine Sally’s ass up over his head so he could wear it like a hat (it’s probably as lopsided as that beret).

    Our Marines’ toilet paper isn’t as soft as this sissy.

  62. juandos Comment by juandos

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    Thanks Lady H for the Little John link:

    The day Faye Turney sold her story to The Sun and Tonight With Trevor McDonald was the day the Navy died of shame. Or, at least, would have done were there any shame left in the world

    Meanwhile the UK Sun has this bit of delusional lunacy: Faye’s blast at squirming tyrant

    GUTSY Faye Turney turned the tables on Iranian tyrant Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as he freed her in front of TV cameras — making him SQUIRM.

    She was the first of the 15 hostages ushered forward during the cynical stunt in the madman’s own Tehran palace garden.

    As Faye stood in front of bearded Ahmadinejad he asked her through a translator: “How is your daughter?”

    Faye fumed in response: “I don’t know, Mr President, I haven’t seen her for 13 days — remember?”

  63. Unregistered Comment by Priander

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    Great site, well thought out comments - super.

    Of course you may wish to bare in mind that the RN sends single mothers and folks who can be best described as children to conduct hostile boardings and so forth because the USN considers it to dangerous to send their big butch men.

    Of course the RN could send its men instead of the single mum brigade but as they along with the real marines (rather than those poor American imitations) and the British army are so damned busy protecting American troops all over the world finding few spare ones may be difficult.

    Still give it a few hundred years and a bit of training and experiance there may well come a time when American troops can take their place in the front line and hold their heads with pride.

    Till then, thank the British single mums and youngsters prepared to take on the jobs the Americans can’t.

  64. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

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    Still give it a few hundred years and a bit of training and experiance there may well come a time when American troops can take their place in the front line and hold their heads with pride.

    Till then, thank the British single mums and youngsters prepared to take on the jobs the Americans can’t.

    Sure. You bet. I noticed that your comment wasn’t posted in German…I wonder why that is?

    Of course, your forebears were at least in a position to put up a fight. As far as being “prepared to take on the jobs that American’s can’t.” Don’t think it has escaped my notice that your navy has announced that it will no longer conduct these operations, not that any serious person would beleive that they could after this affair. Two jhadis in a dinghy wouldn’t submit to a boarding by the Royal Navy after this, let alone anyone doing something they shouldn’t. By the way, have you stocked up on burquas and prayer rugs yet? You’re going to need them soon.

  65. Unregistered Comment by DukeFenton

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    Goddamn - don’t the British have a charge for ‘conduct unbecoming’ any more?

    Barring that, can they institute the Order of the Pink Pussy for these sodding gits?

  66. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    Sure. You bet. I noticed that your comment wasn’t posted in German…I wonder why that is?

    Because I don’t speak German, to be honest I’ve always held the view that if Johnny foreigner wishes to communicate with me he can learn English. You chaps in the colonies could learn from that.

  67. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

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    Because I don’t speak German

    And you have the Americans to thank for that, mate.

    Still, if your sailors had displayed a modicum of the feistiness you have displayed, then maybe your country wouldn’t have quite so much to be ashamed of.

  68. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    And you have the Americans to thank for that, mate.

    How’d you work that one out? I know you got involved in the last big one but what’s that got to do with anything we still came out on top despite your help.

    Of course it took a little longer, because of course like today we had to spend so much time and effort protecting your troops as best we could whilst taking the fight to the enemy. But please don’t feel bad about it. Like I said, in time you’ll do all right.

  69. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    How’d you work that one out? I know you got involved in the last big one but what’s that got to do with anything we still came out on top despite your help.

    Wish your leaders had told us that.

    Would have saved us thousands of lives in Europe, and given us the extra manpower to defeat the Japanese sooner than we did.

    After all, Germany never attacked us. Should have just gone after Japan, I suppose.

  70. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Of course you may wish to bare in mind that the RN sends single mothers…

    Does the Royal Nanny Navy have a draft or did she voluntarily sign up, knowing full well that she could be sent into harm’s way?

    …and folks who can be best described as children…

    You mean like all of those 20-year old U.S. “children” who died on the shores of Normandy & Italy in 1944 and their brethren fought their way all the way to Berlin to keep you from speaking German? What about all of those other 20-year old “children” who managed to kick Sodamned Insane’s vaunted Republican Guard collective ass? Not once, but TWICE.

    …to conduct hostile boardings and so forth because the USN considers it to dangerous to (sic)send their big butch men.

    You mean like the tens of thousands of boardings that the USN and USCG have conducted (and continue doing so) since, oh, 1990?

    Still give it a few hundred years and a bit of training and experiance (sic) there may well come a time when American troops can take their place in the front line and hold their heads with pride.

    Crushed the “invincible” Taliban in short shrift. Crushed the fourth-largest standing army on the planet (Iraq) in a couple of weeks. Yup. Looks like we still need a few hundred years to catch up to the vaunted Brit military.

    BTW, how long did it take for the mighty UK to retake that sheep-infested shithole in the South Atlantic from a small band of burrito-slinging fucktards?

    Your snarkiness is pathetically weak and your “argument” is so idiotic as to render it complete and utter rubbish, barely worthy of contempt. Thanks for trying, but you’ll have to borrow a few quid to catch The Tube back home, since you won’t be winning any prize money for your lame attempt at disparaging the greatest naval force to ever take to the seas.

    Look, Periander, we’ve got nothing but the utmost respect for our fellow Brit military members who act like, oh, I don’t know, military members. But, when a group of supposedly well-trained individuals, such as the Feeble Fifteen™, act like feckless fairies, we’re going to heap well-deserved scorn and derision upon them.

    Don’t like it? Then sod off, Swampy.

  71. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    Wish your leaders had told us that.

    Would have saved us thousands of lives in Europe, and given us the extra manpower to defeat the Japanese sooner than we did.

    Please don’t apologise for your lack of knowlage.

    We did what we could to help. Our Australian cousins looked after that idiot MacArthur in the Borneo/SE Pacific and kept your marines out of harms way on that little island hopping tour they went on. Meanwhile we got on with the real fighting in Malaya, Burma and the Indian border.

    Please don’t take it the wrong way, we do appreciate how keen you all are but, well lets not be coy, your chaps just can’t cut the mustard.

  72. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    Malaya

    You mean Malaysia?

    Damn my lack of “knowlage”!

  73. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    How’d you work that one out? I know you got involved in the last big one but what’s that got to do with anything we still came out on top despite your help.

    So formerly Great Britain wasn’t on the verge of being starved of food, fuel, ammo & armaments without the THOUSANDS of U.S. Liberty ships? The RAF was doing just fine with their production of aircraft to fight off the Luftwaffe and take the bombing campaign to Hitler’s military & industrial infrastructure, without the help of the U.S. Army Air Corps and the U.S. industrial juggernaut?

    Damn. All of those wasted lives and rivets.

    We’ll keep that in mind when it comes time for you to fight off the Moors within your midst.

  74. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    I’m so sorry, I didn’t appreciate that your sense of inferiority ran so deep. I forget how seriously you chaps take this sort of thing, I do apologise.

    You mean like all of those 20-year old U.S. “children” who died on the shores of Normandy & Italy in 1944 and their brethren fought their way all the way to Berlin to keep you from speaking German? What about all of those other 20-year old “children” who managed to kick Sodamned Insane’s vaunted Republican Guard collective ass? Not once, but TWICE.

    You mention Normandy, well we offered you the specialist armour (note spelling) to get you off the beach, but your bosses knew better. Monty gave you the two less difficult beaches to deal with, you did as well as could be expected but nevertheless Monty then had to spend the best part of two months fighting the whole German army while your chaps got organised and in to a fit state to fight those Germans that were left.

    “Crushed Iraq” in three weeks, how many troops did you loose today, how many yesterday and the day before. Strikes me that Iraq isn’t all that crushed, goodness me it was only last year that we had to send a couple of battalions of troops up North to protect wyou when things got really out of hand. Now we’ve gone back down south try no to bugger it up again. It also strikes me that this 3 week victory was only achieved after a 3 year air war that left Iraq with no food, no fuel, no medicines, no ammunition. Sure it was the right way to run the war but hardly a glorious victory.

    But yes, you’re quite correct in one respect, those buggers of ours should never have been taken prisoner like that, and yes as a true blue Englishman it is shaming but I wasn’t going to let you yanks have everything your own way.

    Incidently, a very good friend of mine recently retired from the USN with plenty of experience in the Guulf and elsewhere confirms what my good friends in the RN and RM say - the difficult bordings are always carried out by the RN.

  75. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Periander, are you CryPod® Boy’s mum? (Or, perhaps, his state-sponsored bum wiper?)

  76. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    So formerly Great Britain wasn’t on the verge of being starved of food, fuel, ammo & armaments without the THOUSANDS of U.S. Liberty ships? The RAF was doing just fine with their production of aircraft to fight off the Luftwaffe and take the bombing campaign to Hitler’s military & industrial infrastructure, without the help of the U.S. Army Air Corps and the U.S. industrial juggernaut?

    Lets not beat around the bush, by the time the Liberty Ships were being launched the war in the Atlantic had already been won. Not my words but those of Donitz (the chap fighting the battle from the other side if you didn’t know).

    As for the rest it’s not as though you weren’t paid. Miniature electronics, the jet engine, nuclear fission, gold, territory, industrial holdings the list goes on and on.

    Don’t take this the wrong way, but next time please stay nutral. For one thing we can’t afford that sort of help anymore and secondly it’ll be a bit safer for our troops if your airforce isn’t allowed close to the battle.

  77. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    You mean Malaysia?

    Damn my lack of “knowlage”!

    No I meant Malaya, try google, in fact prey allow me to assist to save you a little time.
    British Malaya

    It’s quite amusing I saw a clip recently of your folks being shown a map of the Indian and S. Pacifi Oceans. Aus was labled France … I’ll try to find it for you. None of your fellow countrymen were able to spot the mistake.

    Still I suppose that helps explain your airforce’s bombing record.

  78. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    Periander, are you CryPod® Boy’s mum? (Or, perhaps, his state-sponsored bum wiper?)

    Oh come on, if you’re going to be insulting do try to be at least a little inventive, personalise it a little or perhaps, gosh, well read some of mine above to give you a bit of a leg up.

  79. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    You mention Normandy, well we offered you the specialist armour (note spelling)…

    Yes. I see that you spell it in fWench. :lol_wp:

    Monty gave you the two less difficult beaches to deal with, you did as well as could be expected but nevertheless Monty then had to spend the best part of two months fighting the whole German army while your chaps got organised and in to a fit state to fight those Germans that were left.

    Why didn’t your vaunted UK Royal Navy & Marines take the entire fuckin’ beach and then the rest of Hitler’s military all by themselves, then? I also note that in your delusional hyperventilating and re-writing of history, you completely ignored the salient points of Angleterra (note the spelling) being completely strangled by Hitler’s Wolfpacks and the fact that it was only the U.S. intervention that kept you and your fellow countrymen from being the boy-toys of the Third Reich for the foreseeable future.

    Your sniveling Socialist schtick has tired quite quickly. Your obvious inferiority complex at having had your limey asses saved by the descendants of the people who kicked your ancestors’ asses with a ragtag army is so striking as to be comical.

    You’ve worn out your welcome here, so “G’day, ya’ prancin’ Sheila.

  80. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    Goodness me such invective, have I perchance caught a raw nerve.

    Why didn’t your vaunted UK Royal Navy & Marines take the entire fuckin’ beach and then the rest of Hitler’s military all by themselves, then? I also note that in your delusional hyperventilating and re-writing of history, you completely ignored the salient points of Angleterra (note the spelling) being completely strangled by Hitler’s Wolfpacks and the fact that it was only the U.S. intervention that kept you and your fellow countrymen from being the boy-toys of the Third Reich for the foreseeable future.

    Nope, sorry despite signs to the contrary history as presented by Hollywood isn’t actually real. If you get a chance take a peek at Donitz’s memoirs. According to him the battle of the Atlantic was lost in 1941 before your chaps properly joined in. Of course Admiral King’s gross criminal stupidity and pig-headiness gave Donitz a short temporary respite but that’s all it was.

    Now if Nimitz (a chap who I genuinely admire) had been in charge rather than King that would have been a different story but as things stood with a friend like King who needed enemies?

  81. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

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    Burma

    Well, that would come as quite a surprise to General Stillwell and the rest of his men who did the fighting in that theatre.

    Monty? You’re going to revise history to rehabilitate that pompous swish? The man who couldn’t make real progress in Italy? The “genius” behind the debacle that was Operation Market Garden? I’ll see your Monty and raise you a Patton.

    kept your marines out of harms way on that little island hopping tour they went on.

    That “little island hopping tour” that either pushed the Japanese back from Australia and New Zealand, or bottled them up, so the home islands were in easy range of our bombers, thus relieving the pressure on your commonwealths in that part of the world. It’s certainly nice of you to imply that the Anzacs died protecting us. It would be even better if it were true, but seeing as how they were in the fight for their very existence, since Queen and country weren’t exactly rushing to the rescue, I don’t find your “fractured fairytale” take on these events very compelling. It does a lot to explain why you blokes have embraced the viper of pislam so close to your colloective bosum, however.

  82. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Lets not beat around the bush, by the time the Liberty Ships were being launched the war in the Atlantic had already been won.

    So you guys had the U-boat thing under control all by your little selves? Angleterra (note the spelling) wasn’t on the verge of starving and running out of fuel, ammo, armor (note the spelling) and food before the U.S. got involved? It’s truly astounding how much revisionist history you blithering Socialist morons have managed to slip into your textbooks.

    :lol_wp: :lol_wp: :lol_wp:

  83. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

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    Misha, April 1st has come and gone. That is you, repising the role of Ian as Periander….right? If not, holy hell! This idiot is suffering from MAJOR delusions of grandeur. Give my best to King George III. Oh never mind…We already did.

  84. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    Well, that would come as quite a surprise to General Stillwell and the rest of his men who did the fighting in that theatre.

    Well yes, he was there - with a couple of divisions of Chinese troops, we’ve found that native troops are always a bit steadier when lead by a white officer and as Stillwell was all there was. Nevertheless he did do pretty well considering what he was working with and we did provide him with a safe route to retreat back towards India.

    As for Patton, he did what his boss Bradley told him to do and as for Bradley he had the wit to keep to Monty’s plans.

  85. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    Misha, April 1st has come and gone. That is you, repising the role of Ian as Periander….right? If not, holy hell! This idiot is suffering from MAJOR delusions of grandeur. Give my best to King George III. Oh never mind…We already did.

    Certainly did, IIRC they all moved out and went to live in Canada and Burmuda. Personally I think that we got the best part of the deal. I must say your Whitehouse is looking very good now that it’s been rebuilt.

  86. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    So you guys had the U-boat thing under control all by your little selves?

    Well, yes, look up “Huff-Duff” and centrimetic Radar. The German’s didn’t have a clue. You must also appreciate that the position of more or less every u-boat was known the RN through radio intercepts - look up “enigma” - not the Hollywood version though - the real one.

    Angleterra (note the spelling) wasn’t on the verge of starving and running out of fuel, ammo, armor (note the spelling) and food before the U.S. got involved? It’s truly astounding how much revisionist history you blithering Socialist morons have managed to slip into your textbooks.

    Socialist moi? Again is that the best that you can do? Try using your imagination a little, extend yourself, try a little subtlety.

    As for the rest we both know that Britain despite the fears at the time ws getting plenty of food in from Canada, Argentina and so forth. Oil from the Gulf, ammunition from everywhere.

    Certainly American supplies helped shorten the war but they didn’t really make any difference to the outcome – excepting of course that we bankrupted ourselves to pay for your friendship. To paraphrase myself, with friends like you we can’t afford enemies.

    Anyway, would you mind amusing yourself for a few minutes. I have to send a couple of emails. I’ll be back shortly, try to use the time constructively.

  87. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

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    Periander, you cannot POSSIBLY believe that the European theater was won without the full cooperation of ALL of the Allies. Arrogance is not becoming dear chap.

  88. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

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    Misha, April 1st has come and gone. That is you, repising the role of Ian as Periander….right?

    Afraid not, my friend. I have a strict policy against April Fool’s pranks outside of the proper time of year.

  89. Imperial Tobacconist LC&IB M Comment by Imperial Tobacconist LC&IB M

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    Don’t take this the wrong way, but next time please stay nutral. For one thing we can’t afford that sort of help anymore and secondly it’ll be a bit safer for our troops if your airforce isn’t allowed close to the battle.

    Frankly, I’m all for that. It’s high time we started worrying about our own problems instead of pulling the EuroWeenie’s asses out of the frying pan. Europe has been on a 60-year-long fantasy-fest at US expense for long enough.

    You want to see some serious whining? Tell Europe, which gets almost all it’s oil from Middle Eastern sources, FINE, we aren’t defending the Persian Gulf anymore. Defend your own supply.

    Want even MORE whining? Close every base in Europe, and bring the troops home to defend our own borders, instead of those of so-called allies. Let our troops spend their paychecks at home instead of on the Euro economy.

    And while we’re at it, let’s stop subsidizing the armed farces (spelling intentional) of all European countries. No more supplies, no more training, no more joint exercises and no more money. That goes, for that matter, to ALL foreign aid extended to members of the EU. Every single penny of it. Bring the money home!

    Dissolve NATO, today. It’s past its sell-by date. Deport every Euro soldier, sailor and airman that is in this country, today, being trained at the expense of US taxpayers.

    BTW, it’s spelled “neutral”.

  90. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    Periander, you cannot POSSIBLY believe that the European theater was won without the full cooperation of ALL of the Allies. Arrogance is not becoming dear chap.

    In the words of King George VI upon hearing of the fall of France, “Personally I feel happier now that we have no allies to be polite to and to pamper”.

    Certainly US involvement helped shorten the war, I don’t believe that there’s any dispute about that but the result was never seriously in doubt.

  91. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    I have to send a couple of emails. I’ll be back shortly, try to use the time constructively.

    Or he had to go back to manicuring his nails…

  92. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    http://www.cigarintel.com/trollbutton.jpg

    That’s very good indeed, may I take a copy?

    Nice site you have by the way. To change the subject slightly There is a feeling in some quarters that the American obsession with handguns has at its roots a subconscious penis envy. Over here of course as you’ll be the first to point out only the criminals have guns but to get round that the folks with low self esteem drive BMW cars. It’s suggested that the link between the two is quite startling. I wonder if you’d care to comment. Obviously if my question is a little to personal please accept my apologies and consider it withdrawn.

  93. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    Or he had to go back to manicuring his nails…

    Well personal hygine is so very important.

    Meanwhile I wonder have you found an atlas yet or may I assist further? I am always at the beck and call of a beautiful woman.

  94. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

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    In the words of King George VI upon hearing of the fall of France, “Personally I feel happier now that we have no allies to be polite to and to pamper”.

    Would that we were that lucky. However, Ike knew that we had to let that preening, strutting, popinjay Montgomery feel as if he made a meaningful contribution, so instead of letting Patton do what he did best and bring the war to a swifter conclusion, we let Monty wast time, men, and materials so he could feel like a player instead of a cheerleader.

  95. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    Well personal hygine is so very important.

    Meanwhile I wonder have you found an atlas yet or may I assist further?

    I’ll get my atlas if you get your dictionary.

  96. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    Would that we were that lucky. However, Ike knew that we had to let that preening, strutting, popinjay Montgomery feel as if he made a meaningful contribution, so instead of letting Patton do what he did best and bring the war to a swifter conclusion, we let Monty wast time, men, and materials so he could feel like a player instead of a cheerleader

    Ah, a history lesson from the gosple according to Ambrose .. who always forgets to mention that the invasion of Europe was Monty’s plan, that Ike took no part in the planning stage. took no plart in the management of the campaign and spent half his time time having an affair with his driver.

    Ambrose also neglects to mention that by refusing to accept a German surrender when offered in April 1945 Ike condemned many thousands of his own troops to needless death (along with everyone else’s a shed load of civilians to boot). But let’s not let details get inthe way of a good myth.

    No, Ike was a politcian at heart he was never a general of any repute.

  97. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    I’ll get my atlas if you get your dictionary.

    Heers a pzzlue for you asiusmng critaen vrey bisac rleus are folwleod as far as the biarn is cocnnered splelnig is otpinoal.

    Now then bet you didn’t have any trouble understanding any of that did you? It’s surprising how the brain works, if you have the timemake a study of it I’m sure you’ll find it worthwhile.

  98. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    To change the subject ever so slightly I came across your board by accident and after reading the opening comments on this thread I thought I’d have a little fun with you all, stick up for the mother country and all that - which looks like it’s happened.

    Now I’d rather not actually offend anyone in any real way (even the folks with pistols instead of penises) so if the consensus is that you’d rather I leave at this point I shall be happy to retire.

  99. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

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    who always forgets to mention that the invasion of Europe was Monty’s plan, that Ike took no part in the planning stage. took no plart in the management of the campaign

    No. He only had to make it work. Seriously, you couldn’t find a clue if it was nailed to your forehead.

    I’d love to stay and bandy this about some more, (a battle of wits with the unarmed is always such a pleasant diversion) but I have some work to do. I leave you to whatever delusional spin you choose to affix to the next bit of revisionism drop on the carpet here and I’ll check back about 5 hours from now. Y’all say “Hi!” to the local caliph when you go to evening prayers down at the mosque.

  100. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Certainly US involvement helped shorten the war, I don’t believe that there’s any dispute about that but the result was never seriously in doubt.

    That statement, in and of itself, is enough to make any and all other statements, past and future, by our newly-acquired Angleterran friend, null & void.

    :eek_wp: :lol_wp: :dunce_tb:

  101. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    BTW, Periander, I read a study a couple of years about that reading comprehension thing. It is pretty interesting how most brains can make sense of words, if the beginning and end consonants are the same, even if the rest of the letters are scrambled.

  102. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Oh, and if you were just here to stir the pot/kick the beehive/rattle the cage/etc., you did a fine job of it. Disrepecting the greatest fighting force to ever grace the face of this planet is one sure way to rile up the natives around here.

    As I said in one of my first comments to you, we have the utmost respect for the brave and loyal members of our Allied armed forces. It’s the prancing nancies that disgrace the rest of them (and ours, by extension) that we have utter contempt for. If these limp-wristed pansies had been U.S. military members doing this, they’d have received equal fire, if not MORE, from us.

  103. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    BTW, Periander, I read a study a couple of years about that reading comprehension thing. It is pretty interesting how most brains can make sense of words …

    There’s hope for you yet, now consider this all, posturing to one side for a moment and back on topic.

    The RN together with all the British and Allied forces has been in a shooting war over Iraq now for several years.
    Gun battles are a daily occurrence, et not one round was fired on this occasion.
    The stopping and searching of ships in the gulf likewise a daily occurrence
    There was a frigate within shooting distance – or at least as near as yet it didn’t open fire or launch a rescue helicopter.
    A more unlikely bunch to be picked for a boarding party is difficult to imagine, although you’ll notice that there are three members of it who appear to have done their utmost not to be clearly photographed except where absolutely necessary.
    That a shooting war with Iran is likely to start soon.
    That information and intelligence gathering is recognised as a necessary prelude to war.
    That anyone who imprisons a single mum for long even in this day and age is going to face more than a little approbation – even the Russians would shed a tear over that.

    Now then, have a good think what all that put together may well mean.

  104. Unregistered Comment by Periander

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    Disrepecting the greatest fighting force to ever grace the face of this planet is one sure way to rile up the natives around here

    But I never mentioned The Queens Lancashire Rgt? :)

  105. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

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    There is a feeling in some quarters that the American obsession with handguns has at its roots a subconscious penis envy.

    Isn’t it odd that those who have been emasculated by their government, make the phalic connection to firearms ownership? Might I remind you that our 2nd Amendment exists in order that, should the need arise, the American People can overthrow a tyranical government ( again, King George III)? Do we enjoy our Right to keep and bear arms? Absolutely. As for penis envy, the fine ladies of the UK never had it so good as when the American Troops were tending to their carnal needs. “Over paid, over sexed and over here.” Truth hurts, eh, Periander?

  106. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    But I never mentioned The Queens Lancashire Rgt? :)

    Think they could help the Emperor get a fartwah?

  107. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    As for penis envy, the fine ladies of the UK never had it so good as when the American Troops were tending to their carnal needs.

    Don’t go down that path with him, 10.

    Please. :wink_wp:

  108. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

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    :devil_tb: :guns_tb: :smoke_tb: :king_tb:

  109. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    But I never mentioned The Queens Lancashire Rgt?

    If this latest bunch is any indication of the prowess of said regiment, a more apropos name would be The Lancashire Queens Rgt.

    :surrender_tb: :lol_wp: :smoke_tb:

  110. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    To change the subject ever so slightly I came across your board by accident and after reading the opening comments on this thread I thought I’d have a little fun with you all, stick up for the mother country and all that - which looks like it’s happened.

    You mean I attracted this troll? Oh, GOODIE! My first personal troll! So sorry that with the gainfully employed thing I missed all the excitement.

    To change the subject slightly There is a feeling in some quarters that the American obsession with handguns has at its roots a subconscious penis envy.

    You would be surprised how often I hear such comments as that from short dicked Euorowienies. No manhood, so they reach for any possible excuse for their “shortcomings.” A man (or Woman!) with a gun is a citizen. Without, one is like the Brits - a SUBJECT, dependent on the magnanimity of someone else. I refuse to appologize for being a citizen, responsible for my own life and safety.

    Now I’d rather not actually offend anyone in any real way (even the folks with pistols instead of penises) so if the consensus is that you’d rather I leave at this point I shall be happy to retire.

    Still with the dicks, huh? Ok, fairy, don’t let the door hit ya in the ass.

    If you had, like, a POINT or something, or even a decent appreciation of history, it would be different. Americans are getting tired of pulling Euopes little nuggets out of the fire. Next time you little pussys wanna throw a war, do it yourselves. You are so damned superior, we are just gonna stand back and watch the show. Knock yerselves out! Be my guest.

    Trust me, hell will be an awfully cold climate before I try to save another Eurowienie.

    Biotch.

  111. maxxdog Comment by maxxdog

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    I think if y’all want to insult one of these candy ass wankers you need to do it in language they understand.

    Like “poopiehead” or “meaniebutt”. That’s sure to send ‘em back to mumsie-wumsie with a tear in their eye.

  112. Imperial Tobacconist LC&IB M Comment by Imperial Tobacconist LC&IB M

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    You mean I attracted this troll? Oh, GOODIE! My first personal troll! So sorry that with the gainfully employed thing I missed all the excitement.

    Shame on you Wil. You know we don’t tolerate the gainfully employed or those who take personal responsibility for their actions around here!

    /sarcasm

  113. Imperial Tobacconist LC&IB M Comment by Imperial Tobacconist LC&IB M

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    If you had, like, a POINT or something, or even a decent appreciation of history, it would be different. Americans are getting tired of pulling Euopes little nuggets out of the fire. Next time you little pussys wanna throw a war, do it yourselves. You are so damned superior, we are just gonna stand back and watch the show. Knock yerselves out! Be my guest.

    Actually, it’s got a point, but a good Bubba-style gimme cap will probably cover it right up.

    That being said, again, let’s bring all the troops home from the EU, close all the EU bases, stop all the foreign aid, and watch the Euro crash.

  114. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

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    I know. It just gets tiresome. We have to redo saving these lazy bastards every generation or two. If they would ever get off their asses and do something themselves, ya know, just ONCE IN A WHILE, it would be better.

    If they can’t save their own asses, just say “Thank You” every couple of decades. We don’t ask much. This ungrateful shit begins to wear thin after a few hundred repetitions.

    And the hell of it is, in about 5 to 10 years, when they screw up and let the NEXT war start, we will have to do it all AGAIN, and we still won’t hear “Thank You” from them. And they will still be telling us how they could do it better.

  115. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

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    Damn, a whole lot can happen when you are at work…..I pity these Euroweenies, as the sun has slowly set on the British Empire over the last two centuries…seems it moved west three thousand miles or so…many of my Irish ancestors have a great deal of affection for the Crown after they were almost starved to death during the potato famine. My relations in Australia have a great deal to say about it. You know, those pussys that fought the Japanese on New Guinea, my uncles. They admired the Americans……. I do know from personal experience none of those soldiers I saw paraded on TV would have survived my boot camp training. Not a chance in hell. A few Marine buddies meaner than the devil himself. What I see here is an envy of a free people, free to defend their persons, the seeking of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And by the way, this penis envy bullshit is old school. I own four guns, and telling my wife she has penis envy after she drills yet another bulls-eye with her .45 just doesn’t cut it much. You know what I’m sayin’? I daresay she would prove tougher than those she saw paraded on the tube…….. As for the future American people coming from Europe, there was an old saying regarding the old west here, and the people making the journey. Somehow I find it germaine to this discussion…”The cowards never tried and the weak died along the way….”

  116. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

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    Now I’d rather not actually offend anyone in any real way (even the folks with pistols instead of penises) so if the consensus is that you’d rather I leave at this point I shall be happy to retire.

    Much more of trashing our military, dumb fuck, and I don’t much think it’ll be up to you.

  117. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

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    One should be greedy now, Wil, you have far greater value than troll bait. Even a sirloin attracts flies and the resulting maggots. Yes, I too weary of the insuffrable, pitiful attempts at condenscension…..but give him credit for trying, yes, very trying……….prigs can’t help themselves.

  118. jaybear Comment by jaybear

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    damn, I missed the troll….just damn!

    but I couldn’t let this histouric faux pas go unanswered:

    You mention Normandy, well we offered you the specialist armour

    and most of that specialist armour consisted of retrofitted U.S. made M4 Sherman Medium Tanks. Actually, there were a lot of specialist amphibious tanks launched off of Omaha, but the rough current tore apart their canvas water wings and sank all but two of them. Specialist armor went in with the 4th ID on Utah beach though and helped link up with the paratroopers inland. We had ‘em thank you very much, and they were put to good use too.

    Too bad that your brilliant specialist armour guys didn’t invent a tank to bust through the hedgerows, it had to be left up to a lowly American technical sergeant named Culin to think up the Rhino tank….worked pretty well from what I’ve read.

  119. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

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    The RN together with all the British and Allied forces has been in a shooting war over Iraq now for several years.
    Gun battles are a daily occurrence, et not one round was fired on this occasion.
    The stopping and searching of ships in the gulf likewise a daily occurrence
    There was a frigate within shooting distance – or at least as near as yet it didn’t open fire or launch a rescue helicopter.
    A more unlikely bunch to be picked for a boarding party is difficult to imagine, although you’ll notice that there are three members of it who appear to have done their utmost not to be clearly photographed except where absolutely necessary.
    That a shooting war with Iran is likely to start soon.
    That information and intelligence gathering is recognised as a necessary prelude to war.
    That anyone who imprisons a single mum for long even in this day and age is going to face more than a little approbation – even the Russians would shed a tear over that.

    Three guys avoid photos and you suggest that they were doing intelligence gathering? From prison cells? No, wait! They used that famous British diplomacy and were granted their request to “have a look around?”

    Unreal.

  120. Agent Orange Comment by Agent Orange

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    Meanwhile we got on with the real fighting in Malaya

    O RLY?
    Is that how you lost the entire country in less than three months, with Fortress Singapore going down within a week? Is that how the Japanese sank two battleships (one of which, the Prince of Wales, had squared off against the Bismarck just a few months before!) without even trying? Is that how Yamashita ran rings around Percival’s defenses, eventually forcing the latter to surrender after taking only about 7,500 deaths out of 138,708 troops?

    Bringing up Malaya as an example of the incredible fighting prowess of the British armed forces? Don’t make me fucking laugh.

  121. LCBrendan Comment by LCBrendan

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    Agent Orange.

    The Japanese were pleased with their success.

    It was short lived.

    The Aussies decided to teach them a little humility

  122. juandos Comment by juandos

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    From 18 Doughty Street:

    (http://www.18doughtystreet.com/blog/116)

    The spectacle of the sailors and marines selling their stories - and possibly even the vases given to them by the Iranians on eBay - says a lot about them as individuals and the way in which they have been educated by the state and trained by the Royal Navy and Royal Marines. The whole episode is a deeply shameful experience and it is about time someone took responsibility for what was a fiasco from start to finish.

  123. Orion Comment by Orion

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Here we go - The Brits - the real ones - are commenting en masse on the Frightened 15:

    One serving soldier posted: “Batchelor didn’t do the reputation of servicemen much good either! Being broken by being called Mr Bean FFS! - that must be on a par with Monty Python’s Spanish Inquisition and the comfy cushions.”

    Comments left on unofficial forces’ websites, the Rum Ration and the British Army Rumour Service laid into Ms Turney and Mr Batchelor.

    Another servicemen says of Mr Batchelor’s complaint that his iPod was stolen by the Iranians: “What I wish to know is why a young lad on a boarding party detail needed to take his iPod? If he listened to The Ride of the Valkyries as he sped towards the target ship, what did he listen to on his trip to Iran?”

    In response others on Rum Ration suggest: “Crying by Don McLean, perhaps?, The Beat Surrender, Always Look On The Bright Side Of life? and Onward Christian Soldiers.”

    Another contributor said of Ms Turney, who sold her story to the Sun: “Made me squirm when she said ‘President of Iran gave me a toy doll for my daughter and am keeping it after the bomb disposal experts cleared it’.

    “Believe me dear, the Iranians don’t need to get any more publicity from blowing up you or anyone else … you’re providing all the publicity for them for free.”

    Another angry contributor wrote: “They should be expelled from the Armed Forces. Maybe HMS Cornwall could make a series like The Loveboat or be used for Big Brother? The Royal Navy seems intent on becoming a complete laughing-stock.”

    Story Link
    If the HTML doesn’t work for ya:
    http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23392218-details/Troops+ridicule+Mr+Bean%2C+the+‘cry+baby’+captive+of+Iran/article.do

  124. Kristopher Comment by Kristopher

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    Periander:
    To change the subject slightly There is a feeling in some quarters that the American obsession with handguns has at its roots a subconscious penis envy.

    If I could kill at 100 yards with my penis, I wouldn’t need a handgun.