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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Passive Goblin Disposal
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Don’t you just love it when a plan works?

Man Drowns In Moat At Missouri Casino

In a blinding display of engineering passive security systems, a casino in Missouri successfully tests a new security system.

A man fleeing security drowned early Saturday after he leaped over a railing into a moat surrounding a casino, authorities said.

buhhhwaahhhhhhh

Police said the man, identified as Anthony D. Swopes, 21, of Kansas City, fled while being questioned about his identification at the Isle of Capri casino. A check of the card revealed an outstanding bench warrant.

Living up here in the heart of real casinos, anyone with a few functioning neurons will conclude if you are even close to the legal age for gambling expect to be carded by casino security. They are as proficient and professional as military personnel charged with guarding nuclear weapons. I’ve personally been intercepted by them, tailing a claimant in moderately crowded times. Those guys are on the ball, and the really good ones you won’t see at all.

Authorities were called around 12:30 a.m., and firefighters recovered Swopes about 45 minutes later. He was pronounced dead at a hospital.

I would suggest, perhaps the addition of a few hungry ‘gators to the new security system, further reducing disposal tasks.

It was the second death of its kind at the casino in recent years. In July 2005, police said, a woman apparently jumped into the Isle of Capri moat and later died.

Ahh, right on time too. Leave it to our journjizmers gleefully congratulating themselves on pointing out how deadly the Moat of Doom™ actually is. The score is Moat-2, Goblins/Suicidal Guests-0. I’m sure this will predicate a call from the left to ban anything that could possibly drown someone.

Moats are common fixtures at Missouri casinos. Casino gambling in the state initially was restricted to floating riverboats, but the state’s constitution was amended to allow riverboat casinos to float within manmade moats.

ummm…they were rather more common in other places, but I’m sure you skipped that class in j-school. I know history was an elective course, taking a back seat to eminently more important classes such as culture studies and navel-gazing. G_d forbid exposure to actual education, emoting is all a good little leftist needs to be successful.

Don’t you just love it, when Darwin steps up to the plate, once again?

35 Responses to “Passive Goblin Disposal”
  1. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    WE MUST BAN MOATS!

    (And Koreans, cutlery, bath tubs, automobiles, rocks, sticks, vending machines (one once fell on somebody and killed him while he was trying to break into it), inclement weather, wild animals, plastic bags, string, and comfy chairs).

    And those are just a few things in dire need of a banning.

    /sarcasm.

  2. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    He bet his life and lost……oh well. As for the moat Sire…what about some nice, friendly piranha fish?

  3. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Cant we just ban liberals? So much easier ..

    “Bush Lied People..” BANG!

    “It’s for the Cilllllldrunnn….”BANG!!

    “We have to raise taxes for the poor….”BANG!!

    “No wars for oillll….” BANG!!

    Gee I haven’t even reloaded and look how much nicer this place looks already….

  4. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I vote we make Missouri a MOTE FREE ZONE. No one should have to come face to face with a renegade Mote!

    It’s for the Chiiillldreeen!! :wacko_tb:

  5. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Kind of redefines the term “All in”.

    Stupid ass.

  6. hitnrun Comment by hitnrun

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Guns don’t kill people. Moats kill people.

  7. Wild-Eyed Charlie Comment by Wild-Eyed Charlie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Rule #1: If you can’t swim, STAY OUT OF THE WATER!

    What a bonehead. Casino security doesn’t have the power to execute arrest warrants, so he jumps into the water to get away. At least he can’t reproduce (any more than the 14 kids he’s probably already had…)

  8. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    “Bush Lied People..” BANG!

    Dang, Snarl.

    You’d give ‘em time to get the “-ple” out? 

  9. Unregistered Comment by Cheryl

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Indeed, Emperor, you forgot to include incandescent lightbulbs in your list of Things-To-Be-Banned. They are next on hit-list for moonbats. Wait and see.

    Cant we just ban liberals? So much easier ..

    Great suggestion! In addition, I would like the use of the following terms to be made a capital offence: “Closure”, “Healing” and “Counseling.” :tongue2_tb: :thumbdown_tb:

  10. SoCalOilMan, LC Comment by SoCalOilMan, LC

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Before the moats, the bodies just flowed downstream, now with the moats they have to fill out all that extra paper work.

  11. english911 Comment by english911

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Might want to ban octogenarian pagent queens too!

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070421/ap_on_re_us/brave_beauty_queen;_ylt=AoWsLFKThzycdYZy8vzYadkDW7oF

  12. Unregistered Comment by Cheryl

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Might want to ban octogenarian pagent queens too!

    She’s 82. She shot the tires out on a goblin’s car whilst balanced on a walker. :drunk_tb: :clap_tb: :guns_tb:Why on earth would you want to ban her?

  13. english911 Comment by english911

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    did I miss with the sarchasm…….stupid gorbicle invention of the internet lost it :)

  14. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    comfy chairs

    Indeed, and any removable comfy cushions. One could smother if you fall asleep face-down, no?

  15. DJ Allyn,  ITW Comment by DJ Allyn, ITW

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    ummm…they were rather more common in other places, but I’m sure you skipped that class in j-school.

    They probably are common in other places, but considering that they were talking about a Missouri casino, I think the statement was valid.

    I did not detect argument against these ‘moats’, or anything describing the “senseless deaths the mean old casinos have caused”, anywhere in the story.

    It seems like a fairly straight forward report about an idiot who took a swan dive without considering what was below.

  16. maxxdog Comment by maxxdog

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Yep, Cheryl is right! Lightbulbs are on the list of evil things.
    http://www.opinionjournal.com/editorial/feature.html?id=110009928

  17. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Hate to break in here with bad news….but a Blue Angel crashed just this afternoon and was killed.

    This is so eerie…because the Thunderbirds JUST finished their show here at the Barksdale Air Show not more than two hours ago. I was standing in the front yard where I could see most all of it.

    Those teams are absolutely anal about safety and they are the best of the best and when one of them goes down it’s just heartbreaking. :glurps_tb: :down_tb:

  18. LC MoMinuteMan Comment by LC MoMinuteMan

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    RE: Mrs. M’s Blue Angel comment…

    That is truly sad news, as I am a military aviation nut and Navy Brat, my thoughts go out to his family…

    I remember a few years ago when a Naval Aviator in a FA/18 was doing familiarization touch and goes at the local airfield here in Cape Girardeau, MO. noticed I had pulled over in a vacant lot to watch and get a “Sound Of Freedom” adrenaline rush, he did a couple of barrel rolls and loops and on his last REALLY low pass, right over my head, he banked to port and waved at me from the cockpit before he punched in the afterburners and punched a vertical hole in the sky, just for me…

    My heart just about jumped outta my chest pounding with pride…

  19. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    (Grabs shovel, starts digging..)

  20. LC MoMinuteMan Comment by LC MoMinuteMan

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    VALDOSTA, Georgia (CNN) — Two Navy pilots died when their F/A-18 jet assigned to the Blue Angels’ precision flying team crashed in a wooded area of south Georgia on Thursday, erupting in a ball of flame.

    One of the pilots had just become a member of the Blue Angels last month.

    The plane was returning from a practice for an air show at nearby Moody Air Force Base this weekend when it crashed at 12:20 p.m. while practicing “circle and arrival maneuvers,” a spokesman said.

    Witnesses saw a fireball when the plane struck the ground in woodland near Valdosta and there were no reports of parachutes being seen.

    The pilots were identified as Lt. Cmdr. Kieron O’Connor of Burtonsville, Maryland, and Lt. Kevin Colling of Castlerock, Colorado. O’Connor, who was riding in the back of the jet, became a member the Blue Angels in September 1998 and an active team flier a year later.

    O’Connor, who had earned his Navy wings in October 1990, had extensive flying experience with more than 2,000 flight hours and 295 carrier landings. He was completing his first year as a Blue Angel.

    Colling was finishing his first month with the squadron and was scheduled to be one of the new pilots next year.

    Navy officials said O’Connor was piloting the aircraft which was not flying in tight formation or executing any of the squadron’s ultra-sophisticated maneuvers at the time, a Navy spokesmen said. He was in “loose cruise” formation at the time of the crash.

    The air show, scheduled for this weekend at Moody Air Force Base, has been canceled.

    The plane was the Blue Angels’ only two-seat version of the F/A-18 Hornet — an F/A-18B — and is a model no longer made, said a spokeswoman for the Navy. In 1997, the last year it was sold, it cost $33.5 million, she said.

    The Blue Angels fly to numerous locations around the world to perform each year.

    The Blue Angels performed their first flight demonstration in June 1946, less than a year after Adm. Chester W. Nimitz, then the chief of naval operations, ordered the group’s formation to keep the public interested in naval aviation, according to the group’s website.

    Their home base is the Naval Air Station in Pensacola, Florida.

  21. Sithette Comment by Sithette

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Wow. :sad_tb:

    The Blue Angels are supposed to be at our air show in May. I wonder if they’ll cancel.

  22. Iacobus Comment by Iacobus

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    G-d grant Lt. Cmdr. O’Connor and Lt. Colling eternal rest and bless their families and friends in this time of loss.

    :cry_wp:

  23. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    As a former squid this is sad……having served on a flattop….but I admired those guys, and still do. I saw them once at Moffet Field. Scared this shit out of our Vietnames refugees seeing a plane hauling ass come out of nowhere at treetop level, then disappear. God speed and rest in peace, may you fly before God…..

  24. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    The Pilot was flying plane 6 which by the Official Website was LCDR Kevin J. Davis who flew Opposing Solo.

    God Bless his family and grant them comfort and strength in this time of grief.

    Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
    And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
    Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
    Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
    You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
    High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there
    I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung
    My eager craft through footless halls of air.
    Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,
    I’ve topped the windswept heights with easy grace
    Where never lark, or even eagle flew -
    And, while with silent lifting mind I’ve trod
    The high untresspassed sanctity of space,
    Put out my hand and touched the face of God.

  25. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I gave away my old lightbulbs to some broke liberals, maxxdog, after I replaced the bulbs in my house with fluorescents. I do so because market forces dictated I should. They save me money. My power bill, the lowest in years, now with the market driven new HVAC unit is going to pay itself off in seven years or so. The bulbs pay for themselves and then some. Also less of a fire hazard. And not one law had to be passed, all it took was General Electric building a producet I felt I could use. I just had a crazy though……nahhh…just wondered how the left would feel about energy efficient guns…….

  26. Unregistered Comment by Azygos

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Caveman,

    Here is your future energy efficient weapon. No moving parts except the bullets.

    Metal Storm

  27. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: It’s irrelevant; they still don’t know they’re in the dark!

  28. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Dang, Snarl.

    You’d give ‘em time to get the “-ple” out?

    I’m practicing my “Tolerance” & “Understanding”…

  29. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    As one that spent many an hour mingling with the F-18 “Lawn Dart” drivers, my sincerest condolances go to the Angles and family over the loss of thier wingman…

  30. Unregistered Comment by Infidel River Rat

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Wasn’t the Kalifruitnia legislature trying to outlaw incandescent bulbs as well? Oh, and how many moonbats does it take to change a lightbulb? NONE! They’d rather sit in the dark while they bawl about everything! :mrgreen_wp: :drunk_tb:

  31. Unregistered Comment by Infidel River Rat

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Oh, and I can see the moonbats screaming “MOAT CONTROL!!!” already!

  32. LC MoMinuteMan Comment by LC MoMinuteMan

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Fuckin’ CNN… trust them to fuck it up …

    According to Fox News, Blue Angel 6, a SINGLE seat F/A-18, went down, killing LCDR Kevin J. Davis, United States Navy, Opposing Solo.

    The Navy has yet to release the name, but between Fox reporting it as Blue Angel 6 and the Blue Angel website, I came up with the info on the Naval Aviator involved….

    From his Bio on The Blue Angels website…

    Lieutenant Commander Kevin Davis is a native of Pittsfield, Massachusetts, and graduated from Reading Memorial High School in 1992 where he played football and was active with the Civil Air Patrol. He attended Embry Riddle Aeronautical University, earning a Bachelor of Science degree in Aeronautical Science with honors in 1996.

    Kevin reported to Naval Air Station (NAS) Pensacola, Florida, for Officer Candidate School and aviation indoctrination in September 1996. He completed primary flight training at NAS Corpus Christi, Texas, and transferred to NAS Meridian, Mississippi, for intermediate and advanced flight training. While there, he flew the T-2C Buckeye and TA-4J Skyhawk, and received his wings of gold in June 1999.

    Kevin reported to Fighter Squadron 101 (VF-101) at NAS Oceana, Virginia, for training in the F-14 Tomcat and was the “Top Stick” in his class. In July 2000 he reported to the VF-11 “Red Rippers” where he completed deployments aboard the aircraft carriers USS Dwight D. Eisenhower (CVN 69) and USS John F. Kennedy (CV 67). While with the “Red Rippers,” Kevin served as the airframes/corrosion branch officer, air-to-ground training officer and head landing signals officer. His deployments included extended operations in the North Arabian Sea and Arabian Gulf in support of Operation Enduring Freedom.

    In July 2003, Kevin transitioned to the F/A-18 Hornet through Strike Fighter Squadron 125 (VFA-125) at NAS Lemoore, California, and then reported to the Fighter Composite Squadron (VFC-12) “Omars,” stationed at NAS Oceana, Virginia. While at VFC-12, Kevin served as a Navy adversary pilot providing valuable air-to-air training for fleet squadrons. In December of 2004, Kevin graduated from the United States Navy Fighter Weapons School (TOPGUN) as an adversary pilot. During his tour at VFC-12, Kevin worked as the schedules officer, legal officer, FRS/SFARP officer and assistant operations officer.

    Kevin joined the Blue Angels in September 2005. He has accumulated more than 2,500 flight hours and 200 carrier arrested landings. His decorations include the Air Medal, two Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medals, and various personal and unit awards.

  33. LC MoMinuteMan Comment by LC MoMinuteMan

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Sorry ’bout the mis-information folks… :wallbash_tb:

  34. Unregistered Comment by Infidel River Rat

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Maybe they could equip the moat with a Texas-sized garbage disposal,…. Ladies and Gentlemen,… Introducing the :drunk_tb: :clap_tb: :undecided_tb: :clap_tb:GOBLIN GRINDER 3000!!!:undecided_tb: :wub_tb: :smoke_tb: :drunk_tb:

  35. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    (Put’s sweaty shovel down, admires new moat )

    Dang, ain’t even finished and the gator’s are movin’ in!
    How’s them for garbage disposin’!