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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Burqa, Burqa Cucumber Jihad
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(Via IB LGF)

In our never ending quest to illustrate just how impossible it is for sane human beings to take the Hajis seriously, we bring you this:

American commanders cite al-Qaida’s severe brand of Islam, which is so extreme that in Baqouba, al-Qaida has warned street vendors not to place tomatoes beside cucumbers because the vegetables are different genders, Col. David Sutherland said.

“Severe?”

Try “psychotic” instead.

So which veggie gets to wear the burqa? And does it require four tomatoes to legally testify against a cucumber accused of rape? We’re all confused here.

In other news, by Imperial Decree, all killed Hajis are henceforth to be buried naked with their butt-cheeks sticking up out of the ground.

This is to assist the fledgling Iraqi infrastructure by providing easy access to bicycle racks everywhere.

42 Responses to “Burqa, Burqa Cucumber Jihad”
  1. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    :lol_wp: :lol_wp:

  2. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Oh, and FOIST!

    I wonder if it’s really just a case of envy.

    If the cucumber was the tomato’s brother would that be OK?

    I know they wouldn’t have a problem with two cucumbers together. Or maybe a cucumber and a baby dill?

    And here I thought the Long War was to save western civilization. How was I to know it was actually to make the world safe for vegetable co-habitation.

    Alright, it’s late and those suck. I’m going to bed.

  3. LC#2112 Comment by LC#2112

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    place tomatoes beside cucumbers because the vegetables are different genders

    Holy crap, these morons threaten the free, civilized world how exactly? (Oh, I forgot about libtards..)

  4. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Of course the potatoes are keeping their eyes peeled to spot anyone violating these rules.

    The tomatoes only comment was “We just wish they would lettuce alone! Why should they carrot all who we pear up with?”

  5. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    And here I thought the Long War was to save western civilization. How was I to know it was actually to make the world safe for vegetable co-habitation.

    It must be everloving Hell trying to make an ordinary house salad under shariah.

    “By the lice-ridden beard of the prophet (piss be upon him), you let the cucumber touch the tomato again, Habib!”

    “But, Ahmed…”

    “Now you DIE, infidel defiler of vegetables!”

  6. Xystus Comment by Xystus

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    4.
    Nyuk, nyuck, nyuck! :biggrin_wp:

  7. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    The tomatoes only comment was “We just wish they would lettuce alone! Why should they carrot all who we pear up with?”

    I hereby vote LC Mrs. M-ITT as canidate for Imperial Veggie Ambassador, she seems to speak thier language….LOL.

  8. kwongdzu Comment by kwongdzu

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Is this Veggie Tales Islamic style? Strange … Orange you glad olive us are sane?

  9. Unregistered Comment by fanbladesaresharp

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    G-d help us all when they get to the watermelons and zucchini. Oh and the PINEAPPLES! The sweet sweet tempting succulence of teh p’apple!!! Oh Noez!!!!

  10. LC NCLivingBrit Comment by LC NCLivingBrit

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Wow. I thought I’d seem some stupidity before, but this takes the cake.

    Can we convince them that cartidges are male and AK-47’s are female and that they -cannot- be comingled?

    It should make for a fun turkey shoot for our boys and girls at the front…..

    “ALLAH AKBAR! Click. Click. Click click click.

    WHOOOOMP! 72 Raisins for all!

  11. DJM Comment by DJM

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Technically, a tomato is a fruit. They hang em in Iran.

  12. Elijah Comment by Elijah

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Yes, I’m guessing these people can be reasoned with.

    Why aren’t we including these people with “legitimate political grievances” in a “round-table dialogue”?

  13. Unregistered Pingback by Inoperable Terran » Cucumber jihad

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    […] need to create a category for “Bizzare Islamic Orders” at this point. Posted by Ian S. […]

  14. sig94 Comment by sig94

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Holy Chief’s Salad Batman! Iraqi black olives and onions have just requested asylum in the US Embassy. Armed camps of Romaine lettuce and chickpeas have sprung up in Kurdish controlled areas while emergency measures are being undertaken to install sneeze shields on all Iraqi Army Humvees. IECV’s (Improvised Explosive Cans of V-8) are now showing up in Sadr City and hundreds of vegetable stands have been drenched in a vegan frenzy.

    It’s a quagmire!!

  15. LC Guido Cabrone Comment by LC Guido Cabrone

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    hundreds of vegetable stands have been drenched in a vegan frenzy.

    A rather disgusting image, but I bet BC will have linkage before long…

  16. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Oh, but we must be tolerant, of course our self-hating lefties here rival them with their own sucidal tendencies. This is coming to a head in time, and no, not lettuce, but rather confrontation. What would end this shit is if people simply laughed at them. Nice way to start my day, now off to work…….maybe a BLT for lunch…..?

  17. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    A rather disgusting image, but I bet BC will have linkage before long…

    Awwwwwww, ya’ thought of me! No linkage, but we DO have a pic that’s right up the Pedophile Profit’s™, er, “alley”, shall we say.

    Anti-Jihadi Pr0n

  18. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Do Vegans play “Hide the Salami” too ? :ponder_tb:

  19. LC SkyeChild Comment by LC SkyeChild

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Geeze, BC…next time WARN us, will ya?

  20. Spartan24 Comment by Spartan24

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    How silly! Different genders for vegitables. Shows where their mind is at.

  21. Useful Idiot Comment by Useful Idiot

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    And if the cucumber is already married to a goat, does the goat get stoned or beheaded?

  22. Unregistered Comment by Infidel River Rat

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I’m still wondering which one has to wear the little burkha while it’s on display! :lol_tb: :lol_wp: :cool1_tb:

  23. jaybear Comment by jaybear

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Sig94 sez:

    Holy Chief’s Salad Batman! Iraqi black olives and onions have just requested asylum in the US Embassy. Armed camps of Romaine lettuce and chickpeas have sprung up in Kurdish controlled areas while emergency measures are being undertaken to install sneeze shields on all Iraqi Army Humvees. IECV’s (Improvised Explosive Cans of V-8) are now showing up in Sadr City and hundreds of vegetable stands have been drenched in a vegan frenzy.

    It’s a quagmire!!

    C’mon Sig, everyone knows that you can’t make a decent quagmire without a severed head of Romaine lettuce…….

    ya’ big infidel.

  24. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Is this Veggie Tales Islamic style?

    If its true, than either Bob the Tomato or Larry the Cucumber is living a lie and fooling us all. I don’t know how I’ll break it to the boys…

  25. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Come 'n' Get It!

    (Note: Click on the pic for a larger view.)

  26. Unregistered Comment by Special Ed

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Folks here are wrong. Just wrong.

    I like that.

  27. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Leaf it to BC to be able to provide corny Veggie Porn. :smoke_tb:

  28. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I’ve bean doin’ the corny shuck ‘n’ jive since I was a wee sprout, Mrs. M.

    Perhaps we can have Hanoi Jane go over & do a performance of The Veggina Monologues™ and make the Jumpin’ Jihadis see the earror of their wheys?

  29. LC Guido Cabrone Comment by LC Guido Cabrone

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Do Vegans play “Hide the Salami” too ?

    Nah, it’s “Hide the Tofu”. Now, you know why vegans always look so pale and unsatisfied…

  30. LC MoMinuteMan Comment by LC MoMinuteMan

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    RE: The pic in comment #25…

    Nice, ripe, juicy tomatos…

    :gulp_ee:

  31. kwongdzu Comment by kwongdzu

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Good God, BC! I was going to steam some broccoli for dinner - but I don’t want to eat it now …. ewwww. Looks like mixed vegetables can get steamy by themselves.

  32. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    BC, you amaze me, man, just plain amaze me. :thumbup_tb:

  33. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Crunchie…in this thread that should be a-maize. :tongue_wink_ee:

  34. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Damn, damn, damn and double damn! How did I miss a pun like that!

    Thanks for pointing out my glaring deficiency there Mrs. M, don’t you have some troll remains to dispose of somewhere? :tongue_wink_ee:

  35. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Sexual deviants, those damn veggies, Kumquats and creamed corn and all………

  36. kwongdzu Comment by kwongdzu

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    BC: That looks like the image from an advertisement! What the hell kind of perverted search do you have to do to turnip something like that?

  37. LC Guido Cabrone Comment by LC Guido Cabrone

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    creamed corn

    Not… Gonna… Not… Gonna… Go… There…

  38. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Squash ‘em all. We’ll end up in a pickle if we don’t whack their melons. I’d relish the opportunity to pepper them. They’re all bananas, and we’d be plum nuts to allo…..Ouch, that’s bad :doh_tb:

  39. kwongdzu Comment by kwongdzu

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    … Guido, would you prefer creamed peas?

  40. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    don’t you have some troll remains to dispose of somewhere?

    What Trolls?? The chard remains of the last agi-taters have already bean composted.

  41. Xystus Comment by Xystus

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    40.
    And again I say, Nyuk, nyuck, nyuck! :rolleyes_tb:

  42. franksalterego Comment by franksalterego

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Now, I want you to LISTEN t’me !!!…I did NOT have sex with that Tomato !!!
    –The Cucumber
    :nono_tb: