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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Great Moments in Government Idiocracy
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(Via Hot Air)

Just when you thought that government idiots couldn’t get more idiotic:

HICKMAN, Kentucky — Officials mistakenly released a prisoner from a Kentucky facility after receiving a phony fax that ordered him freed, and it took them nearly two weeks to realize it.

The fax contained grammatical errors, was not typed on letterhead and was sent from a local grocery store. The fax falsely claimed that the Kentucky Supreme Court “demanded” Timothy Rouse be released.

“Deer Warden,

We demand that u releeze tim rite now b/c we sez so.

XOXO,

Teh supream cort of kintocky.”

“It’s outrageous that it happened,” Fulton County Attorney Rick Major said. “I’m just glad nobody got hurt because he’s dangerous.”

As are the functional retards in charge of your correctional facilities, it would appear.

Police are still investigating who faxed the letter.

We suspect that asking the grocery store from whence the fax originated might help you in that quest but hey, you’re the professionals here. Don’t let a silly mere citizen tell you how to do your jobs.

Prison officials did not notice that the fax came from the grocery store because policies did not require checking the source of a faxed order, said the LaGrange facility’s director, Greg Taylor.

“It’s not part of a routine check, but certainly, in hindsight, that would perhaps have caused somebody to ask a question,” he said.

You think? Amazing. What was your first clue because, to be honest, we hadn’t even thought of that until you mentioned it.

Misspellings on orders are common, he said.

We don’t doubt that for a second. An applicant showing disturbing levels of actual literacy would be grossly overqualified for government work. As a matter of fact, the poor spelling and grammar was most likely what convinced the officials that the “court order” was legitimate.

Still, they ought to have raised an eyebrow when they realized that the document hadn’t been scribbled in crayon on a place mat from Denny’s as is usually the case.

Thank G-d we have professionals taking care of us.

***UPDATE:*** Incompetent government officials don’t release dangerous prisoners, FAX MACHINES release dangerous prisoners!

Ban fax machines! NOW!

30 Responses to “Great Moments in Government Idiocracy”
  1. JeepThang Comment by JeepThang

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Unbelievable.

  2. LC Moriarty Comment by LC Moriarty

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Now might be a good time for them to get a copy of Mitnick’s Art of Deception and read it. It’s alway amusing to watch people build better locks, then forget to close the door.

    …. not that the gummint would ever do something like that of course…

  3. LC Moriarty Comment by LC Moriarty

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    But don’t worry. They will do a great job of running our “health care system.”

  4. Unregistered Comment by Habu

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Do you think we could get then to wire some money to the Caymans for us. You know beer and barbeque money.

  5. maxxdog Comment by maxxdog

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Buwahahahaha!
    I somehow knew you would get around to this one.

  6. TJ's Anti-Contrarian Blog Comment by TJ's Anti-Contrarian Blog

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Last week I faxed a note to the state lottery board telling them that TJ had won the jackpot and opted for the immediate lump sum payment…atill waiting for the check.

  7. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Sounds like the Prison Officials are the ones that need to be behind bars.

  8. WayneB Comment by WayneB

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Ban fax machines! NOW!

    Hey, now, at least us hillbillies won’t be calling for that kind of thing (yeah, I’m in Ky, and that story really doesn’t surprise me as much as it should), but at least we do realize that idiocy like that is not caused by the equipment.

    It’s more likely because Billy-Bob the jailer was spending most of his time trying to make time with some girl in the office, and only glanced at the fax long enough to figure out what it said.

  9. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Hey, now, at least us hillbillies won’t be calling for that kind of thing (yeah, I’m in Ky, and that story really doesn’t surprise me as much as it should), but at least we do realize that idiocy like that is not caused by the equipment.

    I know.

    I was channeling liberals there. I hate it when that happens. Takes me HOURS of intensive reading to get my IQ back up to normal.

    And don’t nobody be slamming hillbillies. If given the choice between one of you and some addle-brained, airheaded Noo Yawk librul, I know damn good and well WHO I’d want watching my back.

    Speaking of which: I still can’t help but laugh when some pig ignorant natterati progressive thinks that “redneck” is an insult.

  10. WayneB Comment by WayneB

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Oops, I forgot the smilies in that post. I knew it wasn’t really a dig at Kentuckians.

    Besides, we have tales of pistol-packing former Miss America grannies to counter stories like that one.

    Mheh.

  11. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I love it. You just can’t make this stuff up. I’m sure if it were King County or Seattlestan, they’re give him some taxpayer money to “help send him on his way.”

  12. DдrтH бдкфи Comment by DдrтH бдкфи

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Death to Idiots!!! LULULULULU!!!

    Thanks for the avatar help, DJ!

  13. Unregistered Comment by demonicgerbil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Why is it Kentucky never gets in the news for anything good? -_-

  14. LC MoMinuteMan Comment by LC MoMinuteMan

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    demonicgerbil Sez:

    Why is it Kentucky never gets in the news for anything good?

    Because in Kentucky, when a man and wife get divorced, they’re still brother and sister…

    Same as Arkansas…

  15. Unregistered Comment by Sir George

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    It’s endemic. I present to you the case of my former housemate and Univ. of Kentucky football player, Marcus McClinton. I heard he’d been arrested for making bombs out of household chemicals, so I checked the March 25, 2007 newspaper article in the Lexington Herald Leader.

    UK football player charged in bomb incident

    University of Kentucky football player Marcus Dion McClinton, 21, was charged with first-degree wanton endangerment early Friday after an incident at a local apartment complex that reportedly involved the use of household products to make crude bombs.

    “We’re aware of the situation, and Coach Brooks is currently evaluating the situation,” said UK spokesman Tony Neely. “He will take the appropriate action once all the facts are known.”

    The 6-foot-1, 210-pound McClinton is listed No. 1 on UK’s spring depth chart at free safety. The team opens spring practice on Wednesday.

    Imagine my shock and horror! I had been living with the next Unabomber!

    Then I dug up another article from March 29

    McClinton’s charges reduced

    Criminal charges against University of Kentucky football player Marcus McClinton were reduced yesterday morning in Fayette District Court.

    McClinton, a starting free safety, had been arrested and charged with wanton endangerment for allegedly making and setting off homemade explosives late Thursday night, according to a police citation.

    The charges were downgraded yesterday to second-degree disorderly conduct, a Class B misdemeanor. The police department’s bomb squad was called to detonate one of the devices, which did not explode. Two others did explode, one causing a slight injury to McClinton.

    McClinton was suspended from the team for a violation of team rules. Coach Rich Brooks has said McClinton would return to practice on Monday.

    If convicted, he could face between six months and a year in prison.

    (Emphasis mine)

    Teh shock! The horror! Then I pulled up an article from the UK paper.

    UK football player Marcus McClinton was arrested Thursday night and charged with wanton endangerment, the Lexington Police Department said Sunday.

    McClinton was charged with wanton endangerment for setting off homemade explosives. The explosives were made of dry ice that was inserted into bottles of water. McClinton suffered minor injuries to his hand when one bottle exploded in it. Police said McClinton admitted to placing the explosives.

    Holy homemade bombs, Batman! Marcus got arrested and smeared in the papers for putting dry ice in a plastic soda bottle. The cops even called in the bomb squad! Thank the stars he wasn’t dropping Mentos into Diet Coke or they would’ve evacuated half the damn city. The boy should sue for false arrest and defamation of character. The city should fire our Barney Fife bombsquad and the papers should fire the journalijism-majoring retard that filed these assinine reports.

  16. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Speaking of which: I still can’t help but laugh when some pig ignorant natterati progressive thinks that “redneck” is an insult.

    Yep, same thing with “cracker”. If they knew what those words really meant they would see them as actual compliments.

  17. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Sir George

    Your story is no different than all of the “bomb scares” because of “live” hand grenades. You know, the ones with the blue handles and hollow bottoms. I don’t evenraise an eyebrow anymore when the local “media” say a freeway or building was closed because the bomb squad had to “dispose” of a grenade.

    Oh well, at least the bomb squad gets some practice.

  18. LC SkyeChild Comment by LC SkyeChild

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    OT. This is sad.

    California Congresswoman Juanita Millender-McDonald Dies of Cancer.

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,267736,00.html

    She’s a democrat. Waiting for the DUmmies and Kossacks to froth and foam at the mouth screeching that she deserved it…

    waiting…waiting…waiting….*crickets*

    ======

    And here’s one for the Darwin award: (albeit a kidlet, so I shouldn’t be this way, I guess)

    Chinese Boy’s Remains Found in Crocodile’s Stomach

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,267741,00.html

    I’m especially ticked at the parents and teachers who don’t teach these kids respect for animals, and I’m not even a tree-hugger!

  19. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Anyone can make a bomb out of household chemicals. Get a one liter soda bottle, drop two balls of aluminum foil in the bottom, put hydrocloric acid toilet bowl cleaner in the bottom, squeeze it down, screw the cap back on, and run. No smoke, no flames, just a really loud noise. We used to make them when I was a kid working at the supermarket. Just another memory, like bowling with frozen turkeys.

    I’m so glad the lamestream midiots find that dangerous. When does the revolution start?

  20. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    If the criminal is smarter than the jailer,it should be considered an early parole.

  21. WayneB Comment by WayneB

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Sir George - Well, it’s a college town, that’s to be expected. I mean, c’mon, they wear shoes and everything there. :razz_wp:

  22. Unregistered Pingback by Ok Back To Blogging « Antihippies

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    […] H/T to the Rott […]

  23. LC NCLivingBrit Comment by LC NCLivingBrit

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Speaking of which: I still can’t help but laugh when some pig ignorant natterati progressive thinks that “redneck” is an insult.

    Yet I know who I’d rather have living next to me…..

    Oh and a development on my Southernification: I work in a hotel, one in which a lot of kids sports teams from up North stay in weekends, as we are the closest decent place to stay to the ice rink/baseball field/sports arena place their leagues use.

    Last weekend a mix of Canucks, folks from Maine and New Yorkers had most of our rooms. After the first two hours of my shift were spent trying to stop their kids tearing the place up, dealing with the messes they left and steering drunk parents back to their rooms I got a moment of peace.

    First words out of my mouth were “damn yankees!”.

    Looks like I went and got myself all comfortable like, don’t it? :)

  24. L.C. Rowane Comment by L.C. Rowane

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Hey, NCLivingBrit, that should be damnyankee, but welcome to southern life :thumbup_tb: a real southeron isn’t born, it just a choice.

  25. Unregistered Comment by tweell

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Sigh. The only surprising thing I find about this is that it didn’t happen in Arizona, for once. Lord knows, we’ve done just about everything else. The pittance that the state pays Corrections staff ensures that most people who have half a brain go elsewhere, our standards are much lower than the military (after all, they pay better).
    Luckily, we have a standard form that the courts use, so a handmade forgery is not as likely to work here.

  26. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Not bad, LC NCLivingBrit!

    Now, say “Y’all”

    Now, try “All y’all”

    Explain the difference, and you get the gold star . . .

  27. LC NCLivingBrit Comment by LC NCLivingBrit

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Y’all is a general way of defining the subject, neither singular nor plural but both:

    eg: Y’all better step on out ‘fore I smash yer Libtard teeth in. (directed to a single Kostard)

    I think I better stay here, y’all are my kind of people (directed to the LC’s and assorted Rott-ers)

    Whereas ‘all y’all’ is specifically used to designate a group and never works in the singular.

    But I could be wrong

  28. LC Wil Comment by LC Wil

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    PERFECT, SIR!

    :clap_tb: :clap_tb: :clap_tb:

    Y’all would be shocked how many damnyankees never understand the difference.

  29. LC NCLivingBrit Comment by LC NCLivingBrit

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Well, when I thought about it, I pretty much aspire to the classical Southern dream: a good woman, good dog(s), enough money to get by, land of my own and no interfering effete dumb asses to fuck it all up for me with their bullshit.

    Seems to me that there’s been wars fought for that dream, both foreign and domestic.

  30. Unregistered Pingback by Grouchy’s Liberaltopia™ » Draft Misha

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    […] A few days ago I observed Misha (who claims to be an anti-idiotarian) kvetching (as usual) about Great Moments in Government Idiocracy. […]