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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » The Great Carbon Offset Swindle
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LC Mope sends us this, asking us for Imperial Sanctuary since somebody has obviously gotten wise to his carbon offset scam. Not to worry, Mope, you’re welcome inside the compound.

Companies and individuals rushing to go green have been spending millions on “carbon credit” projects that yield few if any environmental benefits.

Nahhh… Really? Who’d have thought?

A Financial Times investigation has uncovered widespread failings in the new markets for greenhouse gases, suggesting some organisations are paying for emissions reductions that do not take place.

We’re shocked, SHOCKED we tell you. It’s almost as if somebody thought “hey, we’ve got all of these bozos yearning to buy their way to a warm, fuzzy feeling without actually having to do anything, so why don’t we part some fools from their money?”

Others are meanwhile making big profits from carbon trading for very small expenditure and in some cases for clean-ups that they would have made anyway.

Say it ain’t so! You mean they’re actually, *gasp!*, double-dipping, getting gullible twats to pay for stuff they’re already doing?

The growing political salience of environmental politics has sparked a “green gold rush”, which has seen a dramatic expansion in the number of businesses offering both companies and individuals the chance to go “carbon neutral”, offsetting their own energy use by buying carbon credits that cancel out their contribution to global warming.

Except, of course, that it doesn’t. No matter how many indulgences you buy from “carbon offset” scam artists, the CO2 you pumped out isn’t going anywhere, any more than me buying a Papal indulgence for killing somebody is going to raise them from the dead. Not that I can buy a Papal indulgence these days. People got wise to that scam centuries ago, so it sort of went out of business, only to be replaced by the exact equivalent, The Church of Gore carbon indulgences. There’s always a new generation of idiots waiting to be taken advantage of.

The burgeoning regulated market for carbon credits is expected to more than double in size to about $68.2bn by 2010, with the unregulated voluntary sector rising to $4bn in the same period.

…and we suppose we should be outraged about this but, quite frankly, there’s something about drooling fucktards being robbed blind because of their rampant idiocy that appeals to us.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

35 Responses to “The Great Carbon Offset Swindle”
  1. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    But Mopes “faggot offsets” are legit, right? They had better be, I’ve bought a lot of those.

  2. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    FOIST! Oh and, FAGGOT, FAGGOT, FAGGOT, FAGGOT! How much do I owe ya Mope?

  3. crusader coyote Comment by crusader coyote

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Not that I can buy a Papal indulgence these days. People got wise to that scam centuries ago, so it sort of went out of business, only to be replaced by the exact equivalent, The Church of Gore carbon indulgences.

    You know, when I first heard of these offset thingys, that’s exactly what I thought of. I seem to recall a lot of other people thinking and writing the same thing. . .”Gee, this sounds just like buying indulgences. . .”

    Which makes me wonder what kind of drooling idiot would fall for something like this these days.

    Not to mention how horribly dated and out of fashion it is. It’s so. . .pre-Reformation, you know. Very last Millenia. Even more unfashionable than Codpieces, or those slippers that curl back and tie to the knee and have those little bells . . .

    Still, though, it’s fun to watch people make complete asses of themselves like this. It makes our jobs easier and a bit more entertaining.

  4. Unregistered Comment by jkaiseresquire

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I am giggling like a little school girl. I think the term is poetic justice, I am not sure. Although I think people like Gore know this whole thing is fake, so for them it is fraud exposed.

    J. Kaiser
    http://totaltransformation.wordpress.com

  5. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Was it W.C. Fields that said the always perfect:

    There’s a Sucker born every minute”

  6. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Not to mention how horribly dated and out of fashion it is. It’s so. . .pre-Reformation, you know. Very last Millenia. Even more unfashionable than Codpieces, or those slippers that curl back and tie to the knee and have those little bells . . .

    Well, I guess that humanity finally got around to building a better idiot. Everything old is new again and all that jazz…

    Again: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  7. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Crunchie-

    But Mopes “faggot offsets” are legit, right? They had better be, I’ve bought a lot of those.

    Yes they are indeed. I tried to confiscate them by Imperial Edict™, but the faggot-bastich managed to wiggle out of it, rather rudely I might add.

    I will get even, come next Rott-Fest time, we’ll hide all the beer after he passes out and he’ll beg for mercy having to drink coffee with the rest of us in the a.m.

    Dammit !!!

  8. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    The real question is:

    How is it that ANYONE could fall for something so obviously contrived?

  9. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    How is it that ANYONE could fall for something so obviously contrived?

    It’s easy to be fooled by Carnival Sideshow Shysters when you have your head shoved up your ass and can’t see the strings they are pulling.

  10. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    How is it that ANYONE could fall for something so obviously contrived?

    Tried visiting the DemCong Underground lately? Word of warning: Bring Brain Bleach and be aware that your IQ may drop substantially from simply reading their idiocy.

  11. Unregistered Comment by LaVache

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    There’s a Sucker born every minute”

    Actually attributed to PT Barnum, Cssnarl.

    WC Fields did have a line that was equally appropriate, however:

    “You can’t cheat an honest man, or wisen up a chump.”

  12. MCPO Airdale Comment by MCPO Airdale

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    Carbon Credits = Brooklyn Bridge.

  13. MuscleDaddy Comment by MuscleDaddy

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    I’m just waiting for AlGore to either suddenly ‘produce documentation’ (fake but accurate?) or go on the offensive, denouncing FT for blasphemy.

    (or heresy? there go more of those OldChurch parralells…)

    - MuscleDaddy

  14. Unregistered Comment by Argive

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    Actually attributed to PT Barnum, Cssnarl.

    WC Fields did have a line that was equally appropriate, however:

    “You can’t cheat an honest man, or wisen up a chump.”

    P.T. Barnum had another piece of philosophy applicable here - his first rule of “humbug”:

    “People want to be fooled.”

  15. Haz-been Comment by Haz-been

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    WTF? Codpieces are now unfashionable? Mine are quite fashionable and sporty if I do say so myself.

    Was I conned when I bought all those obscenity offsets too?

  16. Unregistered Comment by jkaiseresquire

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I know this is off topic, but for sh*ts and giggles I plugged nicedoggie.net into the “what is your blog worth generator” and this is what I got:


    My blog is worth $421,146.84.
    How much is your blog worth?

    Looking to sell? LOL.

    J. Kaiser
    http://totaltransformation.wordpress.com

  17. Unregistered Comment by demonicgerbil

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    Sire! Good news Re: No-Knock Raids. Maybe this development will help deter police from pursuing such fascistic measures.

  18. Unregistered Pingback by This is a Travesty « The Black Drum

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    […] by Haz-been on April 26th, 2007 I did not know codpieces were unfashionable.  I just found out over at the Rott.  Mine’s a wonderful paisley and it’s very […]

  19. Unregistered Comment by simonjeff1

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I am giggling like a little school girl. I think the term is poetic justice, I am not sure. Although I think people like Gore know this whole thing is fake, so for them it is fraud exposed.

    For those of you that don’t know how AlGore handles his “carbon offsets”, here is the real giggle. HE OWNS THE CARBON OFFSET “INVESTMENTS” COMPANY! Get the joke? He pays himself for his CO2 production. What really grates is he is making a mint by drumming up a fake “crisis”, then taking in carbon offset indulgences from fellow travellers and investing the money as he chooses.

    Now, as a real commentator once said, you know the rest of the story!

  20. Unregistered Comment by MatCauthon

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Tried visiting the DemCong Underground lately? Word of warning: Bring Brain Bleach and be aware that your IQ may drop substantially from simply reading their idiocy.

    Wow you really were serious. I read some of the threads in the gun forum. Besides wanting to throttle everyone of those lib-tards, I was just shaking my head at how people can so firmly believe in a fairy tale world.

  21. LC SkyeChild Comment by LC SkyeChild

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    LC Mope can always sell toilet paper offsets!

  22. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Looking to sell? LOL.

    J. Kaiser
    http://totaltransformation.wordpress.com

    Since you’re the first one to ask, I’ll let you buy it. And at the special low-low price of only $400,000.

    Cash. This week only.

  23. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Wow you really were serious. I read some of the threads in the gun forum.

    I know, which is why I try my damndest to remember issuing a warning every time I refer to That Place™ *shudder!*

    I forgot to do so once, and we had to send in an Imperial Rescue Team to recover the poor guy. It took four weeks of Intensive ClueTherapy™ to get the miserable wretch back to the level where he’d quit drooling and playing with his own feces.

    I have never quite forgiven myself for that.

  24. Unregistered Comment by Thanatopsis

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    P.T. Barnum had another piece of philosophy applicable here - his first rule of “humbug”:

    “People want to be fooled.”

    There is a second part to the “There’s a sucker born every minute” quote of P.T. Barnum that is always neglected. It goes, “And two born to take him!” Pity the moneyed fools. They’re outnumbered.

  25. Unregistered Comment by Thanatopsis

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    There is a second part to Barnum’s “There’s a sucker born every minute” quote. It goes: “And two born to take him!”
    Pity the moneyed idiots. They’re outnumbered.

  26. Unregistered Comment by Thanatopsis

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    Oops! Posted again before the first one displayed. Sorry. I’ll be more patient next time.

  27. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I know, which is why I try my damndest to remember issuing a warning every time I refer to That Place™ *shudder!*

    My computer has been programed to automatically (and dramatically) self-destruct if that site loads. The mental vacuum that idiot factory creates causes too many bowed windows and the cats walk around sideways for a week.

  28. Lc Scott Comment by Lc Scott

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    This Carbon scam is going to take more than one square to cover up I think.

  29. cmblake6 Comment by cmblake6

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Does kinda make you tend to chortle, doesn’t it? Idiots amuse me, but I can only take so much, you know? Then I have to go check my load and run a boresnake.

  30. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I will get even, come next Rott-Fest time, we’ll hide all the beer after he passes out and he’ll beg for mercy having to drink coffee with the rest of us in the a.m.

    That’s cruel beyond cruel Jackboot. You know that if Mope doesn’t have at least a six pack by 0900 he turns into this.

    http://www.dragonseye.com/store/images/large/Dracula.jpg

  31. Tom The Impaler Comment by Tom The Impaler

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    You’re all missing something special. We can all call ourselves unairconditioned apartment dwellers who commute to our hemp fields by bicycle and cook our food over dung fires and sell carbon credits to make a mint. AND ALGORE WILL PAY US TO DO IT!

  32. Mope, Imperial Offsetter Comment by Mope, Imperial Offsetter

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    Sire!

    I thank you for your kind offer of sanctuary, but I have entered REHABB this evening, and as a result of the HIPA law, the authorities cannot find out which of my rehabbs I am in. This will give me time to make up an excuse, like it was all a bad joke. Besides, everyone gets one rehabb.

    Part of the rehabilitation includes acknowledging beer as a intergal part of daily life. Tobacco is often utilized to induce more quaffing. In my mind, it is such a terribly painful experience.

    Unfortunately, all the offset money was spent on trollips, beer, and… dare I say?… republican congressional candidates. Oh, and a couple lottery tickets. I feel so dirty.

    Anyone want an offset business, cheap?

  33. CiSSnarl5.7 Comment by CiSSnarl5.7

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Actually attributed to PT Barnum, Cssnarl.

    WC Fields did have a line that was equally appropriate, however:

    “You can’t cheat an honest man, or wisen up a chump.”

    Thanks for the help…

    As far as this whole Carbon Offset goes…well I guess I better poney up, as part of my reward for being over here the Queen Snarless has granted her humble hubby permission to pull the trigger on a brandy new 2007 Dodge Charger, 6.1 Liters of Hemi V-8 tire smoke inducing, 420 HP, Tree killing, Ozone depleting gloabl warming, FUN!!

    Hey Enviroloons do you even remember that word…Fun? BUWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA… :roadrage_dj:

    1. Enviromental disaster at 14 MPG points…. Check
    2. Gas Guzzler Tax points…. Check
    3. Thumbsucking Fear struck in to a treehuggers heart points… Check
    4. Right wing asshole with no regard for Mother Gaia points…Check.
    5. War mongering opressive DOD contractor points…eh, scratch that….I HAVE those points already.
    5. Uncool because I don’t drive a “environmentaly safe / occupant deadly” tin can death trap points…Check.

    (Fair Warning Clause: To any prosepticve crackheads /methzombies/ drug of your choice / stoned out assholes who so deem it thier right to car jack me….I will blow your everlasting head into the next zip code for even THINKING of carjacking me….see # 6 below)

    6. Pistols O’ doom inside to protect it and it’s ocupants from goblins, spreading even more bed wetting fear across moonbat land….Check

    Ok check list complete…hold on kiddies were gonna take a little ride!!

    Hmmmm …I do think I will take a trip to the dark side of TN the first time I drive it, pull up in front of the Goracle’s 28,000 square foot “humble abode” get out, piss on his mailbox, turn around and MOON his ass, Jump back in, mash my foot on the go fast pedal, and leave molten smoking piles of highly expensive rubber and billowing clouds of noxious tire smoke, all the while roaring in laughter as any true Righ Winger Death Beast should…

  34. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    CiSSnarl 5.7, schweeeettt!!!

    Chargers are f’ng awesome. And they make em with police packages too! The 6 cyl is plenty powerful for regular patrol work, and the Hemi requires Performance Vehicle certification and is probably the best pursuit car made. Awesome braking power also.

    Congrats Man! Enjoy her! :mrgreen_wp: :undecided_tb:

  35. Unregistered Pingback by Inoperable Terran » No way

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    […] offsets are all a big fraud? Say it ain’t so, Algore! Posted by Ian S. […]