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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » If Only…
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Ever forgotten to turn off your damn, infernally annoying cellphone in a movie theatre, or anywhere else where people are assembled for a purpose OTHER than listening to your latest John Mayer ringtone and subsequent mindless exchange of utter inanities with the moron on the other line?

If so, you need to watch this:

You have been warned.

19 Responses to “If Only…”
  1. LC & IB Kat, GLOR Comment by LC & IB Kat, GLOR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Good find, milord! Oh and… FIRST (?)

    – Kat

  2. LC & IB Kat, GLOR Comment by LC & IB Kat, GLOR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Ooooo! I did it! [happy snoopy dance]

    My first first in a looong time!

    – Kat

  3. Unregistered Comment by Argive

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    As a college student fed up with people’s cell phones going off in the middle of class, I long for a professor like this guy.

  4. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Indeed I think we need an Imperial Edict along these lines.

    Now of course, I’m not one to advocate banning anything, however as an alternative, Imperial Operational Objectives should address this offense as worthy of immediate consequences as depicted in the delightful vid-clip.

    It’s a true pathology among air travelers, that grab the phone immediately as the aircraft reaches the jetway. I was fully prepared to commit serial murder last February arriving in Tampa. The seats behind me were occupied by two (2) teen-age females, they were on their phones within miliseconds of the plane stopping on the ramp. Their incessant blather exceeded the take-off power setting decibel levels of the CFM 56-7 turbofan engines on the wings. The topic, while spoken in the King’s English was indecipherable. Being at the rear of the aircraft and every other passenger removing (oversize) luggage from the overheads, kept me prisoner for a solid 15 minutes of giggly torture.

    The better half and I have a little ritual for this, to alleviate the silliness. Open our own phones, and begin endless repetition of blah, blah, blah-de-blah strolling up the ramp, mocking the cell-phone pod people. The dirty looks we get are precious.

    Jumpin Zeus, whatever did we do before cell phones? How did the species survive?

  5. LC Gunsniper Comment by LC Gunsniper

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    :lol_wp:

    (for the Star Wars clip)

    :lol_wp:

    (for the angry professor)

  6. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I have long had my own solution to such inconsiderations. I bought it fram an Israeli company, cost ma about a hundred and a half. Runs on four AAA batteries and is good to about fifty feet.
    Sooooooooo, the last time I attended the cinema, slid a switch, the red light came on. About the size of a pack of cigarettes.
    And lo and behold, along came some Rosie looking gal with about ten kids, sitting in the middle about twenty feet in front of me.
    She opened up her cell phone, the movie hadn’t started yet.
    Smiling, I turned my jammer off…and waited.
    The movie started.
    So did the jammer.
    She cursed, wailed, she shook the phone, folks told her to shut up.
    I simply smiled. A lot.
    I don’t give a shit about your emergency calls, we did quite well without them for years, we can do so now….and that night….we did. I shut my phone off or set it tovibrate. I can quietly look, see who called, and take a pee break.
    Yes, I know they are illegal, but in a room full of people just what the fuck are you going to do?
    In restaurants I don’t use it, but a theater…you betcha’…..

  7. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I can walk into the mall, or a grocery store and there are always at least a dozen people walking around with their cell phones glued to their ears, and not a single one having anything that sounds like a half way intelligent conversation. My longest conversations are with my mom and close friends and those are for at home. We don’t have a phone line anymore and just use our cell phones. We do our long distance calling and long conversations when we are home. Out and about…short and sweet and never in the car.

    I saw one woman around the grocery store one day…I was there for at least an hour and kept running into her aisle after aisle and she never put that damn phone down. From what I heard she was just bitching about some “friend” that was coming on to her boyfriend. I wanted to break in and tell her that if she never put that damn phone down it was no wonder she couldn’t hang onto a man.

  8. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Another attorney was doing this outside the courtroom today before it was opened up after lunch. Because the courtroom was not yet open, then rest of us were a captive audience for her inane conversation, which I could only believe she felt somehow made her appear important in the eyes of the collected non-attorneys present, since nothing she said was in the slightest related to an important communication, but may have been a violation of client confidences to talk so loudly in public about such matters.
    :down_tb:

  9. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    BisW

    may have been a violation

    That piker don’t know,,
    But for your adherance to decorum, personal stuff could be loose on the net by now.

    That easy.

  10. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    It’s not really that cell phones are so common now, it’s that basic civility and manners are so uncommon.

    It used to be that you didn’t talk during a movie, you kept your conversations low in restaurants, you held open doors for ladies, even for strangers walking in behind you, you didn’t curse in public, you said “sir” or “maam”…

    When did we stop raising our kids to be civilized and considerate?

  11. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    To all those inconsiderate, uncouth, barbarians that make life a constant series of petty annoyances…

    /´¯/)
    /¯ /
    /…./
    /´¯/’…’/¯¯`¸
    ’/…/…./……./¨¯\
    (’(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)
    \……………..’…. ./
    .”…\………. _.•´
    \…………..(
    ..\………….\

  12. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Well hell, that didn’t work. Was supposed to be a hand flipping a bird. :down_tb:

    I’ll stick to smileys, yeah, smileys work.

  13. Unregistered Comment by Fredrik

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Awww…I was hoping he’d use the lightsaber on the guy (and all the stupid “First!”-posters :-P)

  14. LC & IB Kat, GLOR Comment by LC & IB Kat, GLOR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Aw, c’mon, Fredrik, don’t spoil my fun… *sniffle*

    :tongue1_tb:

    – Kat

  15. Unregistered Comment by Fredrik

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Ok, I’ll let you off with a stern warning then :wink_ee:

    BTW, I meant to write that the First-posts are stupid (actually just silly - otoh, I’m rather silly as well. I guess I’ll get the lightsaber too. dang.), not the posters, lol.

  16. jaybear Comment by jaybear

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    LC Crunchie sez:

    When did we stop raising our kids to be civilized and considerate?

    I think it started when the refugees from the summer of love re-wrote the rules of civility……

    :roadrage_dj:

    cool….new smileys

  17. LC NCLivingBrit Comment by LC NCLivingBrit

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    When did we stop raising our kids to be civilized and considerate?

    Well, raising your kids to be considerate would require taking time off from yourself, your weed and your self-indulgent Leftist shite, so that’s right out.

    Fuckin’ hippies….. ruined it for everyone AGAIN.

  18. SoCalOilMan, LC Comment by SoCalOilMan, LC

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I, like most guys, love gadgets. When I was given a pager for work about 20 years ago, I thought it was just too cool. It took me about 2 months to start hating the damn thing. Any time there was little question that needed to be answered, it was just page so-and-so and find out. Easy for them, but I was in the field and had to find a place where I could park my tank truck and hope to find a phone that worked.

    Next came the standard cell phone. It was better than pagers, but still a pain, and not so prevalent at the time, so not a major intrusion.

    This was followed by the Nextel radio units. Nothing like trying to back down a driveway with about 2″ clearance on your mirrors and having the damn thing chirping at you constantly cause the boss was wondering what you are doing at that particular time.

    Now these phones are so ingrained into society, that the majority of people believe that you must be in contact with everyone at all times. I say B.S.

    When some bum stole my cell phone out the office at work back in January (I work in a great picturesque part of L.A. :lol_tb: - crack head central), I took about two weeks to replace my phone, it was the most peaceful two weeks I remember.

    I now do not carry my phone at work or at home. I’ll check it occasionally like an answering machine. If someone calls me and I don’t recognize the number or it’s a blocked number, you’re going to voice mail and I’ll decide, when I get a chance, whether to return the call.

    Going to the movies, when I purchase my ticket, the phone goes to silent, if I forgot to leave the damn thing in my truck.

    It has become akin to an emergency device, I want it with me if I get a flat and will be late to work, or the directions you gave me put me on a dead end street and I’m not getting out in this nieghborhood to ask directions.

    I just cannot get behind, and resent, the idea that we must be in contact 24/7.

  19. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I just cannot get behind, and resent, the idea that we must be in contact 24/7.

    Preach it, brother SoCal!

    I use all of my phones that way anymore. If it goes off, I check the number if I can. If I can’t, it’ll just have to keep ringing (or buzzing, as it were). Nothing’s so Earth-shatteringly fucking important that it can’t wait for five minutes until I can check it without dropping everything I’m doing at the time.

    If the number doesn’t show up, I’ll let voice mail deal with it and I’ll call right back if it needs an answer, as soon as I’m able. The way I see it is: If it’s not important enough to leave a message over, it sure as Hell isn’t important enough for me to go out of my way to reply.