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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Goat Dressing With a Side of Guacamole Anyone?
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Just when you think depravity has hit absolute bottom, along comes something that just makes you shake your head and walk away muttering to yourself. A Tip of the Hat to LC Country Red for this laugh of the day:

Gay Rodeo Ain’t For Sissies

You must check the site out. It’s loaded with video that I can’t get to save and post up here. Do NOT miss the goats dressed in underwear video. Yes you did read that one right.

****SPEW WARNING****

My first reaction to the 2006 LA Gay Rodeo was: Are you JOKING, GAY PEOPLE! It’s an election year! Aren’t you already dealing with enough bull*%#? (Or should I say guacamole? Guacamoled is rodeospeak for when a dim-witted cow craps itself all over you [obviously while you are being umm friendly-JB] , as in Anne Coulter just guacamoled me.)

Now I do like a good guacamole, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to even look at it again.

It wasn’t until I’d seen my third or fourth guacamoled cowperson at the rodeo that it finally dawned on me: Guacamole is a big reason gay rodeoers dig gay rodeo—and I’m not talking some weird fetish, here. I’m saying that, like pretty much anyone, gay rodeoers prefer not to be guacamoled. But at least when it happens at gay rodeo, they know it’s not because of their sexual orientation.

So it’s not a weird fetish, when in the process of sodomizing a bovine, one just happens to catch a steaming heap o’ guacamole on an appendage not normal at risk for such deposits? Sorry for the visualization.

Neither is a good stomping or goring or trampling. Livestock just doesn’t discriminate. And neither does gay rodeo. Everyone’s welcome there—gay, straight, undeclared. Anyone can come get his or her ass kicked. Or watch while someone else does.

I don’t really think it’s about ass kicking in reference to getting the guacamole treatment there Skippy.

Gay rodeo is about inclusiveness…and spangled chaps, and tight jeans, and Marlboro man mustaches, and Stetsons, and studded shirts, and studs and fillies—in other words, it’s just like regular rodeo except the studs are more cut and maybe a tad cattier about it. And the cowgirls ride bulls if they want. Oh…and the dancing. Dancing is maybe as big a gay rodeo draw as gay rodeoin’.

Nothing new there actually, at least as far as ‘cowgirls’ riding bulls. Ever been to Tijuana?

In fact, participation in gay rodeo seems pretty evenly split between real rodeoin’ and serious dancin’. I’m told many come specifically for the dancing, which goes on all day, into the night, and does sort of differentiate it from traditional rodeo where you won’t likely see a lot of same-sex couples two-stepping to Christina Aguilera.

I’m sure it is a bit differentiated from real rodeo. Try that at a real rodeo and you’ll get a first-class demonstration of ass-kicking, especially if one would even request a Christina Aguilera track.

As far as pure gay rodeoin’ goes, the participants seem fairly well divided between city slickers and country boys and girls—many of whom grew up rodeoin’ but left when they no longer felt welcome in historically macho rodeo culture.

Which isn’t to say gay rodeo is for sissies. It’s anything but. A cowboy named Doug Graff broke his pelvis while steer riding. I watched the whole thing and never saw him cry. I’d have been balling like a baby.

Not that we ever implied that persons of varied sexual orientation were sissies, but exactly what is your point? You (and they) seem ever more obsessed with disproving a stereotype that the majority of informed citizens don’t possess. You can stage all the ‘manly’ demonstrations you want, not that I personally see placing a pair of boxer shorts on a goat as a distinctly masculine endeavor. I’m certainly unsure of exactly why being guacamoled is conclusive proof that somehow they are just like everyone else. I spent many years of my youth working on dairy-farms and I distinctly remember catching a steaming load of dung down your back in the milking-parlor (yes that’s what they call it) as anything other than funny. In your context it’s just plain disgusting, considering the particular area that gets the treatment. The bottom-line is no amount of silly demonstrations will hide your true agenda to ‘normalize’ behavior that roughly 70% of the US population disapproves. Any progress you might make in obtaining a bit more acceptance, goes right out the window with a professed enjoyment of dressing goats in lingerie. On the other hand it could increase Victoria’s Secret catalog sales to the muj community, I’m sure many of them truly appreciate a flimsy-thong on a hot-looking billy-goat.

That’s the nice thing about gay rodeo: You’re still welcome even if you are a sissy. I mean, they let me in and no way in hell are you catching me trying to ride a bull or bucking bronc or even trying to put a pair of tighty-whities on a goat. And if you do, it won’t be because I’m suddenly less of a sissy. It will simply mean that I’ve gone completely crazy. That, or gay rodeo curious…

Isn’t that special, they are inclusive and welcome all. As to your posit, I do believe completely crazy is the more applicable. Don’t forget to bring your taco chips, you wouldn’t want to miss sharing the dip.

[You can find plenty of actual information on gay rodeoin’ and events (which have been for charity since gay rodeo’s inception) by going to the International Gay Rodeo Association website and surf from there.]

….mheh….

26 Responses to “Goat Dressing With a Side of Guacamole Anyone?”
  1. SoCalOilMan, LC Comment by SoCalOilMan, LC

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    Oh, crap….I mean guacamole.

  2. MuscleDaddy Comment by MuscleDaddy

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    I watched the whole thing and never saw him cry. I’d have been balling like a baby.

    …I hope he meant bawling - otherwise, I fear there might be special NAMBLA events.

    One of the titles for a video clip:

    Back in the Saddle
    Doug Graff and the little pelvis that could

    ..anyone got a knitting needle?

    I’m going to need to excise that part of my brain.

    - MuscleDaddy

  3. SoCalOilMan, LC Comment by SoCalOilMan, LC

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    ..anyone got a knitting needle?

    I’m going to need to excise that part of my brain.

    - MuscleDaddy

    Crochet hooks work better.

  4. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    you won’t likely see a lot of same-sex couples two-stepping to Christina Aguilera.

    Wanna see what a full scale bar room brawl looks like? Try requesting that guacamole at Billy Bob’s in the middle of the Fort Worth Stockyards on a Saturday night.

  5. fmragtops Comment by fmragtops

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    May I point something out here?

    Guacamoled is rodeospeak for when a dim-witted cow craps itself all over you [obviously while you are being umm friendly-JB] , as in Anne Coulter just guacamoled me.)

    I was a bull rider for a good chunk of my formative years, and never once have I ever heard the word “guacamole” used in such a context until I just read this post. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that ain’t “rodeospeak”. Maybe it’s animal molesterspeak.

  6. Lady Heather Comment by Lady Heather

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    :wacko_tb: :eek_wp: :sick_ee:

  7. Unregistered Comment by Cheryl

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    I can understand the attraction gays may have to the western garb, but no need to humiliate a poor goat that way. The shame of it! :rollingeyes_wp: :redface_wp:

  8. BauerPower Comment by BauerPower

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    What are some of the song’s they’ll have there?

    Rumpstone Cowboy?
    Don’t Mess With TexAss?
    Paint Your Fag On?
    Rawide?

    What’s the theme also?

    Jeremiah’s Johnson
    Prances with Wolves
    The Pleasure of Sierra Madre
    Flaming Saddles
    The Man Who Shot All Over Liberty Valence
    How the West Was Hung
    Lonesome Doug

    Sheesh, I wish they could quit this.

  9. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    Wonder what kinda credentials they check at the gate.
    If a hetero thought to try for some prize cash, would there be some kinda test to prove gay loyalty?

  10. LC Woody Comment by LC Woody

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    That’s funny. Reminds me of the time a coworker asked me to check the Red Wings schedule on my computer, so I typed in http://www.gayhockey.com as a joke but was surprised to find there was a real site for a gay hockey league. Is there no end to the weirdness?

  11. LC Ranger 6 Comment by LC Ranger 6

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I did not just read this post.

    I know I didn’t because I have the claw portion of my roofing hammer 4 inches up my nose tearing the gray matter out that would have been responsible for remembering it.

  12. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    Will it ever end? And Jackboot? Et To Boot? I expect this type of guacamole from BC, in fact I bet that it really was BC just using yer nic’ right?

    It does give new meaning to the term “rodeo f#^k” though, don’t it? :sick_ee: :roflmao_wp:

  13. Unregistered Comment by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    “Wellll, here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand
    He’s a one-ball man an’ he’s off  to the ro-dee-o…”

  14. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Crunch-

    Will it ever end? And Jackboot? Et To Boot? I expect this type of guacamole from BC

    Put shortly..no.

    I’ve noticed this strange feeling since February…guess it has a long latency period. Don’t forget your exposure was about 48 hours after mine. Just wait, it IS too late, you have been infected too.

    :flush_tb:

  15. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    You mean that BC infected us all! Nooooooo!!! :glurps_tb:

  16. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Gay Rodeo Champ

  17. LC Mrs. M-ITT™ Comment by LC Mrs. M-ITT™

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    M decided that he wanted to try a rodeo ride one night….

    Called me by his ex’s name……he didn’t stay on no 8 seconds either… :furious_tb: :devil_tb:

    You mean that BC infected us all! Nooooooo!!!

    That’s what you get for letting him grab your ass Crunchie. :roflmao_wp:

  18. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    GeeOOwwGaahh,,
    Thar’s an instant sex change..

    ‘Truth is,, ’bout the infection thing, wa all had it before, ‘bit more benign, but it’s looking more metastisized since Feb.

  19. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    That’s what you get for letting him grab your ass Crunchie.

    Wasn’t no “letting” involved Mrs. M. Although he was amazingly gentle.

    Not like that photo on 16! Dayumm!!!! BC. I’ve seen the photo before, but the caption just made my side split open. Classic BC! :lol_wp: :roflmao_wp: :clap_tb:

  20. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Truth is,, ’bout the infection thing, wa all had it before, ‘bit more benign, but it’s looking more metastisized since Feb.

    Maybe it had something to do with Burt, eh Cheapshot? :wink_ee:

  21. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

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    Jeesus, BC…..I can’t go there, and what what I see, neither can he.

  22. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    something to do with Burt

    ‘Reckon it would be safe to say that most Rott Art is gonna be fairly malignant.
    Good.
    Can’t wait for the next hoot.

  23. Unregistered Comment by skh.pcola

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    It’s bullshit like this that makes people think less of gaytards. Why would gay rodeo people need their own association? It’s like the Black Congressional Caucus having a separate agenda from the crackers in congress, which they apparently do, or why else would they feel the need to separate themselves.

  24. Unregistered Comment by ClimbingFreeman

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Apparently I’m not grokking something right here:

    Guacamole is a big reason gay rodeoers dig gay rodeo—and I’m not talking some weird fetish, here. I’m saying that, like pretty much anyone, gay rodeoers prefer not to be guacamoled.

    So they dig watching people get covered in brown guacamole, but they don’t like it themselves? Is this similar to how NASCAR fans fantasize about racing, they like to watch the crashes, but they don’t actually want to race and crash? Are you sure this isn’t really a fetish thing?..because I’ve heard way too many uses for kitty litter in the gay community than what (or I should say whom) it was intended for.

    And BauerPower, you forgot one of their newer themes which was based on a popular recent Hollywood movie: Bareback Mountin’.

    Gawds, the mental images are hard to get out of mind. And it doesn’t help knowing Rosie O’Donnel got her first lesbian kicks watching “Petticoat Junction” either.

  25. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Gawds, the mental images are hard to get out of mind. And it doesn’t help knowing Rosie O’Donnel got her first lesbian kicks watching “Petticoat Junction” either.

    Rosie was lickin’ her chops… :roflmao_wp:

  26. Ten-Ten Comment by Ten-Ten

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    JB, you sick, twisted, vile, horrid bastich!

    :rollingeyes_wp: