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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » Deportation Problems Solved
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Thanks to LCs Nilbog and Chairborne Ranger, we bring you a story of good cheer. Extremely good cheer, we might add:

Two illegal aliens, Ralphel Resindez 23 and Enrico Garza 26, probably believed they would easily overpower a home alone 11 year old Patricia Harrington after her father had left their two story home.

Mistake. BIG mistake!

And what’s going on here? We thought they were “only here to do the jobs that no Americans will do” while demonstrating to us how “faith and family values don’t stop at the Rio Grande?” Somebody please send El Presidente the memo.

It seems the two crooks never learned two things, they were in Montana and Patricia had been a clay shooting champion since she was nine.

Our kind of girl. Not to mention our kind of parents as well.

Patricia was in her upstairs room when the two men broke through the front door of the house. She quickly ran to her father’s room and grabbed his 12 gauge Mossberg 500 shotgun.

Nothing says “fuck off, pendejo!” quite as passionately as a load of buck shot to the face. It’s an international language that we could teach the world to speak in perfect harmony. But back to young Miss Patricia’s language lessons:

Resindez was the first to get up to the second floor only to be the first to catch a near point blank blast of buck shot from the 11 year olds knee crouch aim. He suffered fatal wounds to his abdomen and genitals.

“Para buck shot in los cojones, imprimer numero ‘dos’”

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

When Garza ran to the foot of the stairs, he took a blast to the left shoulder and staggered out into the street where he bled to death before medical help could arrive.

You know, sometimes, having to wait for the EMTs is a Good Thing™. Here’s to hoping that they found time to catch a cup of joe and a bagel on the way as well.

It was found out later that Resindez was armed with a stolen 45 caliber handgun he took from another home invasion robbery.

What??? You mean to say that criminals steal weapons in spite of it being against the law???? Why, that’s absurd! How are we ever going to get to a gun-free utopia with unicorns dancing in fields of marshmallows if criminals insist on breaking the law?

The victim, 50 year old David Burien, was not so lucky as he died from stab wounds to the chest.

We’re sorry to hear that and our condolences and prayers go out to the family.

Thanks to a little 11-year-old girl with a Mossberg and a lot of courage, however, his murderers won’t murder ever again.

Justice.

***UPDATE:*** According to Snopes, the status of this story is “undetermined.” Doesn’t change the morals of it, even if it isn’t true, nor does it change the fact that there are other stories like it that are very much independently verified, like the ones at the end of LC & IB Kat’s post here. Brave kids, blowing the brains of goblins (and talk about a tiny target) out.

Remember: Every time you shoot a goblin in the face, the Baby Jesus smiles.

45 Responses to “Deportation Problems Solved”
  1. Unregistered Comment by curious

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    I’m just glad this little girl was in a place that still has some sane law enforcement officials. If this had happened in San Fransisco the little girl would be facing the death penalty.

  2. Unregistered Comment by manofaiki

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    Dang this girl messed up that second shot!

    Dad has got to get her off to the range pronto!

    She went too high and to the right on that one.

    Hey, I know about the adrenaline spike and all that but still!

    manofaiki

  3. Unregistered Comment by Kevin

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    Oh hell yes!

  4. Unregistered Comment by LC Rey

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    Give her a break. She was shooting downwards to a running target.

  5. Unregistered Comment by Chairborne Ranger

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    I just noticed the story was posted a week ago, but I never saw a hint from the MSM. I guess they just have a mental block whenever a gun actually does some good, because I still here reports about psy-cho and the guy over at NASA who shot his supervisor.

  6. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    But, but, but she was a CHILD!! How dare that careless, irresponsible “father” leave her alone with a deadly weapon of mass destruction.

    What if she had accidentally shot some poor stranger bounding up her steps to innocently ask her to borrow some guacamole?

    Doesn’t this so called “father” know that having a gun in the home is 1,000,000,000 times more likely to be used in an accidental shooting or in a blind rage over bed times and curfews. And just where was the trigger lock, hmm? And why wasn’t that evil thing locked up safe and secure in a gun safe, with a fog proof, Tom Cruise resistant, laser alarm grid? And what was the ammo doing in the same county? Doesn’t anybody follow HCI/Brady’s gun safety dictates?

    When will people ever learn. Two more people murdered by a gun, such a shame.

    /sarcasm off

    Good shooting young lady, ya done real good, God be with you while you recover from your experience.

  7. Imperial Tobacconist LC&IB M Comment by Imperial Tobacconist LC&IB M

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    Did she yell “Pull”?

  8. Unregistered Comment by mindy1

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    Don’t normally kids with guns,but she seems to know what to do. I guess it’s okay if you are trained :ponder_tb:

  9. Unregistered Comment by mindy1

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    I mean like kids with guns(sorry-must learn to type :dunce_tb:)

  10. ChefJeff Comment by ChefJeff

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    ROFLMAO….well done emporer! I truley think that this child did the right thing and G-d bless her!!

  11. LC & IB Kat, GLOR Comment by LC & IB Kat, GLOR

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    Yay, Patricia!!!! I think my Darling Munchkin needs a pen-pal - they’re about the same age.

    Nevertheless, I truly hope this brave young lady doesn’t suffer any long-term trauma from this: having to shoot and kill two men is sure to leave a scar. However, better this scar, than the probability of her own rape and murder!

    G-d bless you, Patricia; you’re proof that our country still breeds hardy, determined, and self-sufficient citizens!

    – Kat
    http://www.CatHouseChat.com

  12. Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur

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    They came up to the second floor? Nefarious deeds on their tiny little minds? Good for her!

  13. LC & IB Kat, GLOR Comment by LC & IB Kat, GLOR

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    Oh, hell - possibly an apocryphal story? I’ve been googling for more info, and not finding a lot…

    Dammit.

    – Kat

  14. Unregistered Trackback by CatHouse Chat

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    A young heroine defends life and property…

    Via Misha the Most Excellent - Two illegal aliens, Ralphel Resindez 23 and Enrico Garza 26, probably believed they would…

  15. thetay Comment by thetay

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    manofaiki says:

    She went too high and to the right on that one.

    Probably from the pump- shooting those on the trap range throws off your aim if you’re not used to it. My Mossberg over/under has a really stiff action, maybe the 500 does too?

  16. Unregistered Comment by Erbo

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    There’s a lesson in this for everyone: If an 11-year-old girl–an 11-year-old girl!–can properly employ firearms in the defense of life and property, then you can learn how, too.

  17. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    500’s do haev a stiff action, or at least compared to the 870, especially when new.

    Kat, Say it ain’t so?

  18. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Did she yell “Pull”?

    :roflmao_wp:

    “Yo quiero shotgun shell!”

    “You want those two crunchy 7-layer plastic wrapped beaners to go?”

    “Waiter! There are pellets in my re-fried beaners!”

  19. JeepThang Comment by JeepThang

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    Linked!

    Heart-warming!!

  20. MasterGuns Comment by MasterGuns

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    Damn the good luck……..This girl has more balls than most Of Washington DC.

    I’d be proud to take her shooting.

    Semper Fi

  21. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    “Well, he DID ask for his juevos “To Go”.”

    “Holy SHIT! Never, I repeat, NEVER ask for the ‘Mexican vasectomy’ in Montana!”

  22. Unregistered Comment by Infidel River Rat

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    Aaah, Montana, another state that’s mostly rural, and kids typically :undecided_tb: learn how to shoot not long after learning how to walk! Seriously, though, her parents are the epitomy of responsible and competent gun owners. They obviously taught their little girl never to point a firearm at anything or anyone you don’t intend to shoot! As for the moonbat crowd, I’m sure that they’d want to draw and quarter the girl simply for not lying down and being a good victim, and crying to THEM afterward. As for the goblins, two more roasting beaners in a corner of hell! :flush_tb: :thumbup_tb: :bye_tb:

  23. LC & IB Kat, GLOR Comment by LC & IB Kat, GLOR

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    LC Crunchie (#15) - I’m a-lookin’, and I ain’t finding anything else to back this up. HOWEVER, there are stories of courageous young people out there; I’ve got a couple linked at CatHouse Chat.

    I think this story IS a dud - but the real stories ARE out there… and I would love to be proved wrong on this one! Somebody PLEASE prove me wrong!

    – Kat
    http://www.CatHouseChat.com

  24. Tom The Impaler Comment by Tom The Impaler

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    Oooh, what a warm and fuzzy feeling. If only the girl in the Pisslamic love post had had a gun we’d be laughing all week long.

  25. TheCount Comment by TheCount

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    If the story is true, all I have to say is awesome! It also reminds me of what Teddy Roosevelt said about youngsters and guns; it was something along the lines of ” If you want the blessings of liberty to keep flowing teach all generations how to shoot”. That isnt the exact quote but it is close.

    Two Down, 10,999,998 to go…put patricia on the case!

  26. B.C., Imperial Torturer™ Comment by B.C., Imperial Torturer™

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    Lookin’ like something for the Snopes file, but it’s still pretty damned funny!

    “You want some Whack-a-mole on that burrito?”

  27. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    ‘Couldnt find anything in the Butte paper, the Montana Standard , seems like a story that would sell a few. :huh_tb:

  28. LC SkyeChild Comment by LC SkyeChild

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    This is wrong on so many levels. First, the illegal immigrants are law-abiding citizens. Two, they are here to do the work that Americans won’t do. Third, guns kill people, so we need more gun control. Fourth, it’s child abuse leaving an 11-year old home alone, in the first place, let alone to be “visited” by nice, young, Mexican illegal immigrants. Fifth, we don’t know what their intentions were. Sixth, we were all illegals at some point.

    /moonbat off

  29. LC SkyeChild Comment by LC SkyeChild

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    Shoot. Number six should say we were all immigrants at one point.

  30. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

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    Archive search two to two weeks back at the Montana Standar (Butte) had nothing. :hmm2_ee:

  31. LC SkyeChild Comment by LC SkyeChild

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    *Sigh* AND, I guess they are undocumented workers, not illegal immigrants. Boy, it’s tough being a moonbat. Gotta get the talking points right.

  32. LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR Comment by LC JackBoot IC/A-OBR

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    “You want some Whack-a-mole on that burrito?”

    The goblins done dood the Whack-A-Molee” shuffle of their mortal coil.

    Give the kid a citizenship medal.

    Any bets on a civil suit from the goblins estates?

  33. LC Ranger 6 Comment by LC Ranger 6

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    Give her a break. She was shooting downwards to a running target.

    Ummm, isn’t that what Trap Shooting is all about? Hitting running wetbacks?

    I know the clay wetbacks I trained on came out of the thrower moving at least $2.30/hr

  34. maxxdog Comment by maxxdog

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    Kat
    I looked too but I couldn’t find anything. Pity! I’ve read so many stories over the years of children being brutalized. I thought some rightous justice had been administered. If it proves to be a legend, it’s just as well an 11 yr old wasn’t put in that situation.
    Those two links on your site are good reads though!

  35. Unregistered Comment by Azygos

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    I’m willing to throw the bullshit flag on this. I searched quite a while for more info this morning and came up with nothing. Granted my skills are very limited but a story of this magnitude should be all over the Montana papers if true. Butte is a small place and people on other blogs said they called the radio and TV stations. Noting, Nada, Zip. You couldn’t fart in Butte and not have it make the papers.

  36. LC ShadowFox Comment by LC ShadowFox

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    As a resident of America’s Mongolia I’d have heard of such an occurrence if it’d happened. But before I saw it in a Livejournal community 2 days ago, I’d never heard of such a thing. Our entire state has a lower population than the suburbs of Denver so news does get around. Unfortunately I think it’s a myth.

  37. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

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    Well, the NRA archives showed nada also. Even if it ain’t true, the funnies in this stream ARE real and damned good too.

    And I second maxxdog, it’s better that an 11 year old not have to go through that.

  38. Elijah Comment by Elijah

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    /begin moonbatting
    Look at what you right wing-nuts do to kids. This girl is now traumatised for life. How will she survive? Every night she’s gonna have dreams of how she recklessly took lives of some innocent men who were just looking for the “American Dream”. How dare you speak about the brutalisation of children this way! Think of the children!
    /end moonbatting.
    :lol_wp:

  39. SoCalOilMan, LC Comment by SoCalOilMan, LC

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    It’d be a shame if it’s one of those urban legends, but better we debunk it than let it go on.

    Aaah, Montana

    Too freaking cold, I think I’ll stick with Texas as the place I wanna be.

  40. Unregistered Comment by mindy1

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    I guess it might not be true, but you never know-some people love guns.

  41. cmblake6 Comment by cmblake6

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    Even if it IS an “urban legend”, it’s a damn good one. If it’s true, it is fan-f&#*ing-TASTIC! If this is not to a real person, oh well. GOOD SHIT! YES!

  42. Unregistered Pingback by Inoperable Terran » Border enforcement

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    […] 11-year-old girl does a job American lawmakers won’t do. Posted by Ian S. […]

  43. Unregistered Trackback by philmon

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    Quote of the Week…

    Misha wins the quote of the day week with this one:

    What??? You mean to say that criminals steal weapons in spite of it being against the law???? Why, that’s absurd! How are we ever going to get to a gun-free utopia with unicorns dancing in fi….

  44. Unregistered Comment by Pengor

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    (taken from http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread280719/pg2#pid3163201)

    Patricia Harrington is an adult woman who writes children’s mystery books.

    I can find no reference to David Burien.

    The story has no author or news source listed. There is no date, time or address of where the incident took place. I would wager that this is an invented account. There’s absolutely nothing on the web (aside from this verbatim account itself) to indicate this ever actually happened, or that anyone named Patricia Harrington ever was a champion clay-shooter anywhere. No news station, web site or paper has published this story.

  45. cmblake6 Comment by cmblake6

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    Que sera. Urban legend? Good one. True story we just can’t chase down? Even better! If legends like this are floating about, it gives pause to the evil.