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Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler » On a Fartwah from the R.o.P
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Actually, this is a bit of a “re-run”, since we already did violence to Mr. Silverstein’s classic, but LC Guido Cabrone decided that it wasn’t quite perfect and set out to finish what we’d started.

And what a superb job he did indeed. Brought a tear to our cynical old eye, that one did, so we decided that we just had to publish it, with our thanks to the master of parody himself, LC Guido (or “Guids”, as he’s affectionately known around heah). Take it away, Guids:

Well I’m a Neo Con Blogger
I’ve called Arafat a fucker
More times than I care to recall.

I write long angry missives,
Both insulting and derisive
‘Bout Jihadis thin, fat, short and tall.

I’ve said their prophet is a perv,
Been told I got a lot of nerve,
But the one thing I’d love to see.

Is my name in big letters,
Written by the bedwetters,
On a fatwah from the R.o.P.

chorus:

(R.o.Peee…)
Wanna get a fatwah from a Mullah
(Faaarrrrt…)
Achmed, Ibrahim or Abdullah.
(Waaahhh…)
“Darth Misha”for all to see
On a fatwah from the R.o.P.

Got a professional Pyro,
(No, his name ain’t Milo)*,
He’s got that South Florida mean.

Got a glow-in-the-dark Sub Jockey,
Makin’ that radio scene.

Well we’re all the kind,
To speak our mind,
But our minds won’t really be known.

Like the knowin’ you’ll be seein’
When we get “Darth Misha”,
On a fartwa from the R.o.P.

(R.o.Peee…)
Wanna see “Darth Misha” on a fartwah
(Faaarrrrt…)
We’ll send a copy to his mother!
(Waaahhh…)
When we get our Emp’ror’s name,
On a fartwah from the R.o.P.

We’ve got the greatest crew of clued-up, wired-in LCs,
Who fact check ev’ry thing we say.

We’ve got a genuine Liberal Web Guru,
He says he’s got the better way.

We’ve got all the bandwidth,
The Tip Jar can buy,
So we never have to type alone.

And we keep gettin’ meaner,
But we can’t get “Darth Misha”,
On a fartwa from the R.o.P.

(R.o.Peee…)
Wanna see Darth Misha on a fartwa,
(Faaaarrrrt…)
We’ll send a copy to his mother!
(Waaahhh…)
When we see our Emp’ror’s name,
On a fartwa from the R.o.P!

(I can see it now, he’ll have Lyudmila out front, and he’ll be SMIIILIN’, man… Ah, beautiful…)

*(this is an inside joke, it probably wouldn’t have been funny at the time without the experiments in sleep deprivation, anyways. Only about three people in the world get it, and no, THIS Pyro isn’t one of them, so don’t bother asking him. If you already know who JAFO, Ghost, Pyro, Geekface, Fuzzy and Firebird are, you’ve already heard it, if you don’t, you won’t get it. Trust me on this one… (But I needed the (semi)-rhyme. Deal with it.))

13 Responses to “On a Fartwah from the R.o.P”
  1. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Solid Gold, Bravo!

  2. Cheapshot911 Comment by Cheapshot911

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    ..The jihadis are a cooking
    on the vieo I’m lookin
    with that smell
    that i’m glad not to know

    It’s a smell they get from mothers
    who sell their sons and their daughters
    to the mullahs for their futures to be blown.

    They fill their heads with holy pee
    and keep the masses on their knees
    with a murderous thundering tone

    But the tone will be richer
    from the chest of our friend Misha
    with his fartw from the RoP!

    (gathers fruit n’ veggies flung from crowd)

  3. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    (gathers fruit n’ veggies flung from crowd)

    Cheapshot gotta get fed somehow, right?

  4. purple raider Comment by purple raider

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Genius, pure genius

  5. jaybear Comment by jaybear

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    damn…..now THAT’s funny right there :roflmao_wp:

    just my opinion, but I think Guido deserves to be knighted for that ‘un.

    Sir Guido Cabrone

    yeah, has a nice ring to it….

  6. Mad Dog Comment by Mad Dog

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I gave it a ten (10).

    It’s easy to dance to.

  7. LC Guido Cabrone Comment by LC Guido Cabrone

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Ah, thanks, Boss. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and stuff…

  8. LC 0311 crunchie Comment by LC 0311 crunchie

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and stuff…

    I warned ya about eating the guacamole Guido.

  9. Emperor Misha I Comment by Emperor Misha I

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Ah, thanks, Boss. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and stuff…

    I’m glad, because you made me almost break a rib laughing, Sir Guido. :king_tb:

  10. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, Master of Parody Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, Master of Parody

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    I’m glad, because you made me almost break a rib laughing, Sir Guido.

    Well, breaking a rib wasn’t in the plans, Boss, but I was rather hoping you’d enjoy it!

    Crunchie

    I warned ya about eating the guacamole Guido.

    Sorry, bro. Guacamole looks too much like an unfortunate intestinal event for me to voluntarily eat it… (If it happens to be on something already, well, yeah, I like the flavor it adds, but I could never eat it as a dip, know what I mean?)

    It was probably the pastrami, now that I think about it… ^grin^

  11. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, Master of Parody Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, Master of Parody

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    And the spam filter just ate another post… ^sigh^

  12. LC HJ Caveman82952 Comment by LC HJ Caveman82952

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    Well, Sir Guido…congratulations, and thanks for making a day a bit brighter…..

  13. Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, Master of Parody Comment by Sir Guido Cabrone, LC, Master of Parody

    Strict Standards: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, non-static method emotions::filter_text() should not be called statically in /home/misha/public_html/2007/wp-includes/plugin.php on line 59

    and thanks for making a day a bit brighter

    You are quite welcome, Caveman, although I think the people I work with thought I was just a bit on the insane side, since I was composing this while burning steel on the plasma…
    Fortunately for their piece of mind, I don’t think they quite realized what the lyrics were…